by Amy Clipston
“That had to be such a painful time for you.” She turned her hand and squeezed his.
“It all came crashing down the day I ran into the fire to try to save Amos Lapp without any gear. I had reached my breaking point, and I was on my way to see you. I needed you in my life. But when I saw that fire, I completely forgot to take the right precautions. It almost cost me my life.”
Jamie paused and she could see he was gathering his thoughts. “I think somewhere inside I thought if I couldn’t save mei mamm, I could at least save others, including Amos, as though that would make up for my mistake about the banister. When I was rushing off to help the man who had the heart attack that night, Mark told me saving everyone wouldn’t bring Mamm back. I was angry when he said it, but he was right. I was trying to save everyone because I couldn’t save her.”
His expression brightened. “But I see things differently now. I’ve finally accepted that God forgives me for my mistake, and I have forgiven myself. Mamm died instantly when she fell, and there was nothing I could have done. God chose to take her.”
“Ach, mei liewe.” Her chest constricted with grief for him. “I’m so glad you’ve forgiven yourself.”
“I’m so thankful you’re back in my life. You’ve been my rock with everything that happened this summer. And your whole family has been such a support to mine.”
“I feel the same way about you and your family too. Standing beside you and your daed and siblings when your mamm died helped us as we continued to grieve for Simeon. We’ll always have that bond.”
Jamie leaned forward, and she braced herself for his kiss. Suddenly, his radio, sitting on the porch floor, went off. He stilled and listened.
“All available units respond to 1592 Gibbons Road, Bird-in-Hand, twenty-five-year-old man,” the voice blared. “Serious lacerations from mechanical saw.”
She braced herself as he leaned over and picked up the radio. To her surprise, he turned it off and set it back down on the floor. Then he turned toward her and grinned. “Where were we?”
He leaned down, and her breath hitched in her lungs. He brushed his lips across hers, sending her stomach into a wild swirl. She closed her eyes and savored the sensation of his warm mouth against hers.
When they parted, she saw an intensity in his eyes. “You’re my first and only love, Kayla. I love you with my whole heart.”
She touched his chin. “Ich liebe dich.”
As Jamie pulled her close for a hug, Kayla felt overwhelming gratitude—and silently thanked God for giving her and Jamie a second chance at love.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1.Kayla is afraid to trust Jamie with her heart after losing her brother in a fire. She’s also convinced Jamie won’t keep his promises since he misses dates and fails to call her. By the end of the book, she realizes she’s ready to love again. What do you think caused her to change her point of view on love throughout the story?
2.Jamie and his siblings are devastated when their mother dies unexpectedly. Have you faced a difficult loss? What Bible verses helped you? Share your response with the group.
3.Near the end of the story, Eva convinces Willie and Marilyn to allow Nathan to sign up for firefighter training. Why do you think she felt compelled to defend Nathan’s desire to be a volunteer firefighter?
4.Jamie pours himself into volunteering at the fire station and doing chores on the farm as a way to deal with losing his mother and having a falling out with his sister. Think of a time when you felt lost and alone. Where did you find your strength? What Bible verses helped you or would help someone in a similar situation?
5.Cindy is so devastated when her mother dies that she blames Jamie for her death. Toward the end of the book, she realizes her mistake. Why do you think she blamed Jamie? What do you think helped her change her mind about Jamie’s involvement in their mother’s accident?
6.Vernon is plagued with both grief and regret after he loses his wife. He tries to convince Jamie to slow down and enjoy life as a way to prevent Jamie from making the mistakes he feels he made. Could you relate to Vernon and his experience?
7.By the end of the book, Jamie is ready to find a balance between his work life and his romantic life. What do you think helped him realize that his father was right?
8.Which character do you identify with the most? Which character seemed to carry the most emotional stake in the story? Was it Jamie, Kayla, Eva, Cindy, or someone else?
9.What role did Nathan play in Kayla and Jamie’s relationship? How did he help to reconcile their relationship at the end of the book?
10.What did you know about the Amish before reading this book? What did you learn?
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
As always, I’m grateful for my loving family, including my mother, Lola Goebelbecker; my husband, Joe; and my sons, Zac and Matt. I’m blessed to have such an awesome and amazing family that tolerates my moods when I’m stressed out on a book deadline.
Special thanks to my mother and my dear friend Becky Biddy, who endured my constant discussions (and whiny complaints) about this story and graciously proofread the draft and corrected my hilarious typos. Becky—thank you also for your daily notes of encouragement. Your friendship is a blessing!
Thank you to the awesome firefighters who generously (and patiently) answered my questions in person as well as via e-mail and text message. I’m beyond grateful to my supercool brother-in-law, Jason Clipston, who not only answered my questions but also read the book for accuracy. Thank you also to Chief Junior Honeycutt of Bakers Volunteer Fire & Rescue Department, Monroe, North Carolina; and also to Brooks Hasty, Jody Frazier, Graham McMancus, and Captain Nick Steffler of City of Monroe, North Carolina, Station 4. Thank you for all you do for our community!
I’m also grateful to my special Amish friend, who patiently answers my endless stream of questions. Your friendship is a special blessing in my life!
I’m always grateful to my wonderful church family at Morning Star Lutheran in Matthews, North Carolina, for your encouragement, prayers, love, and friendship. You all mean so much to my family and me.
Thank you to Zac Weikal and the fabulous members of my Bakery Bunch! I’m so grateful for your friendship and your excitement about my books. You all are amazing!
To my agent, Natasha Kern—I can’t thank you enough for your guidance, advice, and friendship. You are a tremendous blessing in my life.
Thank you to my amazing editor, Becky Monds, for your friendship and guidance. I’m grateful to editor Jean Bloom, who helped me polish and refine the story. Jean, you are a master at connecting the dots and filling in the gaps. I’m so happy we can continue to work together!
I also would like to thank Kristen Golden for tirelessly working to promote my books. I’m grateful to each and every person at HarperCollins Christian Publishing who helped make this book a reality.
To my readers—thank you for choosing my novels. My books are a blessing in my life for many reasons, including the special friendships I’ve formed with my readers. I appreciate your kind and thoughtful e-mail messages, Facebook notes, and letters.
Thank you most of all to God—for giving me the inspiration and the words to glorify You. I’m grateful and humbled You’ve chosen this path for me.
Special thanks to Cathy and Dennis Zimmermann for their hospitality and research assistance in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
Cathy & Dennis Zimmermann, Innkeepers
The Creekside Inn
44 Leacock Road-PO Box 435
Paradise, PA 17562
Toll Free: (866) 604-2574
Local Phone: (717) 687-0333
The author and publisher gratefully acknowledge the following resource used to research information for this book:
C. Richard Beam, Revised Pennsylvania German Dictionary (Lancaster: Brookshire Publications, Inc., 1991).
ENJOY THIS EXCERPT FROM THE FORGOTTEN RECIPE, THE FIRST IN THE AMISH HEIRLOOM SERIES!
PROLOGUE
Jason Huyard
had to be dreaming. The whole scene playing out in front of him was surreal as he stood in the Lapp family’s kitchen doorway and peered into their large family room. People, mostly strangers from other church districts, paraded in and out of the house, seemingly in slow motion. They walked through the family room, shaking hands with other visitors before expressing their condolences to his friend Seth’s mother, Margaret, and his younger sister, Ellie.
Seth’s body lay motionless in the coffin behind his family, and Jason’s stomach twisted and bile rose in his throat as he looked at his best friend.
No, it wasn’t a dream; it was a nightmare, one of the worst nightmares imaginable. It couldn’t be possible that only two days ago he and Seth were talking as they built a shed together for the Lancaster Shed Company. Jason’s world came to a screeching halt when a board broke, causing Seth to fall from the rafters, breaking his neck when he plummeted to the concrete floor.
In an instant, Seth was gone.
If only I hadn’t walked away to grab those bottles of water . . .
Jason tried to push the thought to the back of his mind and moved into the family room to join his family. But he couldn’t take his eyes away from Seth’s mother. She was sobbing in the arms of a woman with graying hair peeking out of her prayer covering. Ellie, standing nearby, wiped tears from her rosy cheeks.
Jason must have told them a dozen times that he longed to go back in time and break Seth’s fall.
It’s my fault Seth is gone and his family is devastated.
Watching them cry was too much for him. The depth of their grief was palpable even from across the large room. Jason’s chest constricted, and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. The heat in the room closed in on him, stealing the air from his lungs. He had to get out of there before he was sick or passed out.
He turned and weaved through the knot of people on his way back to the kitchen and mudroom, excusing himself whenever he bumped into someone.
“Jay?” his younger brother, Stephen, asked as Jason pushed past him. “Jason. Where are you going?”
“I need some air,” Jason breathed out, pushing on the old, wooden back door, which moaned in protest as it opened.
“Wait,” Stephen called after him.
Jason stepped out onto the wide, covered back porch, and the cool April air hit his face like a wall.
Finally! I can breathe! He moved to the railing and leaned over it. Staring down at the wet grass below, he took long, gasping breaths in an attempt to settle his violent stomach. He was glad no one else was there.
“Jay?” Stephen’s brow furrowed with concern. “You’re as white as a sheet.”
Jason lifted his hat and raked his fingers through his hair. “I’ll be all right. Just give me a minute.”
Stephen pointed toward a group of people talking just inside open barn doors. “I see a couple of guys from work out there. I’m going to talk to them. Do you want to come with me?”
“No, danki.” Jason shook his head. “I’m going to stay here for a few minutes and enjoy the quiet.”
“Okay. I’ll be back in a minute.” Stephen headed down the porch steps and dashed across the yard.
Jason turned and leaned back against the railing, crossing his arms over his chest as the cool wind seeped in through his black jacket. He moved his gaze upward. Puffy gray clouds strangled the sky, and the mist that had threatened all day finally transformed into steady raindrops. The weather was a fitting complement to the hundreds of community members who had journeyed to the Lapp home to say good-bye to Seth.
The back door creaked open, and a choked sob followed. Two women stepped out onto the porch as they supported a third woman, who seemed to be holding on to them with all her strength. They all shared similar facial features and looked to be in their twenties. The woman crying was dressed in black with wisps of blonde hair escaping her prayer covering. Her beautiful face crumpled with anguish and her ice-blue eyes, rimmed with dark circles, were clouded with tears.
The sobs grew louder as her legs seemed to buckled, causing the other two women to grasp her more tightly. Jason started to move across the porch to help them, but they successfully steered her toward a nearby bench and ordered her to sit down. The woman obeyed, and the other two young ladies sat on either side of her, cooing softly while holding her hands.
The door banged open, and a middle-aged couple rushed out and hovered over the three women.
“Veronica?” The older woman addressed the crying woman.
Jason’s eyes widened as he whispered, “Veronica.” Seth’s fiancée! Seth had spoken of her so often that Jason felt as if he knew her.
“Veronica? Please take a deep breath. You need to calm down or you’re going to pass out again.” The woman bent down to meet her eyes. “Do you want to leave?”
Veronica shook her head and dabbed her wet eyes with a tissue. “No, I promised Margaret I would stay.”
“She would understand if you left,” the young woman with light-brown hair said. “You’ve been here all day.”
“Rachel is right,” the one with blonde hair chimed in. “You’ve been here since the crack of dawn, and I heard you pacing last night. You haven’t slept since . . .” Her voice trailed off and she cleared her throat. “Mamm’s right. You’re going to pass out again if you don’t calm down. And you need to sleep.”
“I can’t sleep.” Veronica’s voice was gravelly. “I need to be here. I have to be here for him. I can’t leave him.” Her voice broke, and sobs racked her body anew.
The agony in her eyes fueled his guilt. Why hadn’t he saved Seth? Why wasn’t he there when Seth fell? He could’ve broken his fall or warned him if he’d heard the board start to give way.
Now the blonde was rubbing Veronica’s back. Tears still streamed from Veronica’s eyes, and Jason gripped the railing behind him. He needed to apologize, tell her he was so sorry for her loss. He knew how much Seth loved Veronica. Seth talked about her incessantly. Seth acted as if Veronica was all he ever thought about.
Stephen sidled up to him. “Do you know them?”
“No, but I feel like I do.”
“What do you mean?”
“Stephen, Jason.” Mamm stepped out the door and onto the porch with Dat in tow. “I didn’t realize you were out here.” She turned toward the sound of crying, and a look of compassion crossed her face.
“I needed some air,” Jason said.
“Are you ready to go?” Dat asked.
“Ya,” Stephen said. “Jason looks like he needs to go home and rest.” He patted his brother’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”
His parents walked toward the porch steps, but Jason lingered behind. He turned back to Veronica, who was speaking softly with the women he now assumed were her mother and sisters. He couldn’t stop watching her. He longed to take away her pain. He felt responsible for her suffering.
“Jay?” Stephen asked. “It’s time to go. We’ve been here nearly all afternoon.”
Jason nodded. “I’m coming.”
“No, you’re not, actually. You’re still standing here.” Stephen leaned closer. “Why are you staring at that maedel?”
“She was Seth’s fiancée. They were supposed to be married in the fall.”
“That’s Veronica?” Stephen blew out a breath. “Oh no.”
Veronica’s eyes met Jason’s for a quick moment, and his breath caught. No matter how much he needed to talk to her, he couldn’t do it now, not when her emotions—his emotions—were so raw. He was sure he’d fall apart if he tried to speak. He had to wait until he was strong enough to tell her he felt responsible for Seth’s death, that he would never forgive himself.
“Jason?” Stephen nudged him. “Mamm and Dat are ready.”
He nodded and followed his brother down the squeaky porch steps. When he reached the bottom, he looked over his shoulder one last time and took in the sight of Seth’s beautiful fiancée and her obvious grief. He was going to find a way to talk to her soon, and he would tell
her just how sorry he was for not being able to save her future with Seth.
The story continues in
The Forgotten Recipe by Amy Clipston!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amy Clipston is the award-winning and bestselling author of the Amish Heirloom series and the Kauffman Amish Bakery series. She has sold more than one million books. Her novels have hit multiple bestseller lists including CBD, CBA, and ECPA. Amy holds a degree in communications from Virginia Wesleyan College and works full-time for the City of Charlotte, NC. Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband, two sons, mom, and three spoiled rotten cats.
Visit her online at amyclipston.com
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