by Margaret Way
“Thank you, Mrs. Barrett. I’ll see to that myself,” Nicole was quick to answer.
Mrs. Barrett inclined her head respectfully, now a model of deference. “Mr. Holt is in his study.”
In fact, Alan was coming down the central staircase that very minute. Nicole looked up quickly, caught his expression before he had time to change it.
It wasn’t welcome. It certainly wasn’t joy as in, Darling Nicole’s home! It was even possible he wasn’t happy to see her at all. Uncle Alan had always played his cards close to the vest. No one ever knew what he was thinking, and he didn’t even seem to have a past. Her mother had always said it was impossible to say what lay behind that bland exterior. Alan Holt escaped into his own world, but because of his fortuitous marriage lived exceedingly well.
Now around sixty Alan was still a handsome man, very elegant in his bearing. His full head of hair, once as blond as Joel’s, was an eye-catching platinum. Did he enhance it? She wouldn’t be in the least surprised, though Alan would keep them all in ignorance. His eyes behind his trendy rimless glasses were a frosty gray-green. “Fanatic’s eyes,” Heath Cavanagh once called them. Nicole thought that ridiculous. She’d never seen Uncle Alan get worked up about anything. Except after the tragedy, when he had sealed himself off in his own private tomb. Inside the extended Cavanagh family, some of them admittedly terrible snobs, no one could understand why Sigrid had married him. He wasn’t “solid, one of us.” He’d been an actor touring with an English repertory company when Sigrid, quite out of character, fell madly in love with him and married him before she’d had time to think about it; a quick private ceremony without benefit of family. Something she was never to live down. At least the marriage had lasted, though her grandfather had once remarked wryly, Alan would be terrified at the idea of going back to earning his own living.
Now he came down the steps holding his arms out to Nicole as though she was the nicest thing he’d seen in years. Pure theater. “Nicole, dearest girl!” An actor’s good carrying voice, plummy accent, real? Religiously acquired? Who knew? That was privileged information.
“Uncle Alan! How wonderful to see you again.” Hypocrisy was everything in polite society. Much as he had tried to win over her affections, Nicole had always found it difficult to get close to this man. Her grandmother, rather like Drake, was fond of saying, “One could live with Alan for fifty years and never know him.”
As always he was impeccably groomed, a light jacket over his moleskins, smart open-neck yellow-and-white checked shirt. Pleasant whiff of cologne. A dandy. Useless around Eden. He didn’t need to be busy. In the early days Siggy had been afraid that her sister’s beauty would turn Alan’s head. Of course, no such thing happened. David McClelland had been the center of her mother’s life then, only there’d been no future for either of them.
They talked for a few moments about her long, exhausting journey getting there. “One would have to try covering the distances to know!” Amazement was expressed that Drake McClelland had elected to fly her home. How was he?
“As splendid as ever!” Nicole couldn’t help saying, even though she knew Joel would take umbrage.
She excused herself to go to her room. Tidy herself up before she went in to see her grandmother. She didn’t have a room exactly. She had almost an entire wing. Clear the furniture, and Joel and his friends could have a polo match in her bedroom. Siggy had arranged it all in a vain bid to keep her at home. A leading decorator had been flown from Sydney to take charge of extensive refurbishments. The upshot was a suite of rooms that wouldn’t have looked amiss at Versailles. All the rooms in Eden were huge by modern standards, with lofty richly decorated ceilings. When the decorator had seen the scope of his commission, he had gone crazy with joy, muttering excitedly to his sidekick about how much it would all cost. Normally very thrifty for a rich woman, Siggy had given the decorator and his team carte blanche.
It didn’t add up to a decorating triumph. The designer had gone right over the top, creating lavish spaces only Marie Antoinette could have handled. Nicole would have to make a few changes even if Siggy didn’t like anyone to challenge her judgment. A lot had changed since she’d grown up and Granddad had died and left her Eden. Shifts in authority. Power. Roles.
Dinner was always at eight. She knew they would all meet downstairs in the library at half-past seven for drinks. Inside the well-appointed bathroom, with far too many mirrors—she wasn’t that keen on an aerial view of her bottom—she took a quick shower to freshen up. Someone, probably the dour Mrs. Barrett, had laid out soaps, body lotions, creams, potions, a series of marvelously ornate bottles containing products for the bath. That was okay. Every woman liked a bit of pampering. In a mirrored cupboard she found a variety of over-the-counter painkillers of different strengths, tubes of antiseptic cream, bandages—in case she decided to slit her wrists? Everyone had heard her story, knew she’d seen a psychiatrist for years. She remembered the time when even Siggy, the hardest-headed of all, had major concerns she might turn into, if not a nutter, a complete neurotic.
Satin-bound monogrammed pink towels had been set out, along with a pink toweling robe. She slipped into it, tying the belt, then opened her suitcases and put her clothes away. She spent several minutes deciding what to wear. Finally she dressed in a simple, white linen top and matching skirt, embellished with a fancy belt. She took two regular headache tablets, and only the thought of seeing her much-loved grandmother and not-so-much-loved aunt kept her from collapsing in a heap on the bed. Her hair had more life than she did in the summer heat. She brushed it back severely, twisting the curling masses into a heavy loop.
Her grandmother Louise and Aunt Siggy were waiting for her in her grandmother’s sitting room, which adjoined the master-bedroom suite.
“My darling girl!”
The woman she loved most in all the world. “Gran.” She flew to her, sending her aunt a sideways warm greeting. Her grandmother remained seated in her armchair, a sure sign of aching bones, graceful and amazingly youthful-looking for a woman approaching seventy. She was beautifully groomed from head to toe—Nicole had never seen her any other way—but frailer than the last time Nicole had seen her.
“I’ve been praying and praying you’d come home.” Louise Cavanagh held her granddaughter’s face between her hands. “If only for a little while, Nikki. Just seeing you gives me so much joy and strength.”
Nicole blinked back smiling tears. “I think of you every day, Gran. I dream of you when I sleep.”
“I love you so much, my darling.”
They were cheek to cheek. Hair touching. One a rich deep red, the other snow-white. When each drew back, their eyes glittered with tears.
The three women kept off the subject of Heath Cavanagh until all other questions had been raised and answered. Louise and Sigrid had long since heard about the Bradshaws—both from time to time had spoken on the phone to Carol, thanking her and her husband for looking out for Nicole. They were very grateful. They wanted to know all about her painting, her recent TV appearance, her continuing success. They wanted to know more about New Yorkers. And had Nicole met anyone—a man—she really liked? They knew of Carol’s efforts, Nicole’s few aborted relationships, the difficulty she had sustaining them. Most of all they wanted to know how she and Drake McClelland had got on. Just imagine, what were the chances of the two of them running into each other at Brisbane airport?
At one time her grandparents had lived for a happy union between the two families, planned a beautiful big wedding to be held on Eden. Their beloved daughter, Corrinne Louise to David Michael McClelland. It was to have been perfect. Only, scarcely a month before the wedding, Corrinne shocked and enraged both families by eloping with the devilishly handsome, hard-drinking, compulsive gambler Heath Cavanagh, a distant cousin. He not only stole Corrinne away. He stole the grand plan both families had laid down when Corrinne and David were little more than babies. Deprived them of the union of two pastoral dynasties. David was pitied. For
a time he suffered severe withdrawal—there was a rumor, never substantiated, he had once attempted suicide—but the love of his family and the dynamic support of his older brother, Drake’s father, saved his sanity.
Until he became involved with Corrinne again. The moth to the flame. Heath Cavanagh as a husband wasn’t long in favor. David, her first and last lover, returned. After that it was only a question of time before tragedy overtook them. There was no way, given that particular triangle, they could escape their brutal destiny.
“So where is Heath?” Nicole asked finally, knowing there was no putting it off.
“He keeps to his room mostly,” Sigrid said. “As I told you he’s very ill.”
“Shouldn’t he be in hospital with the proper care?”
“It may come to that, but for now he desperately wants to stay here. He’s come home to die.”
“This isn’t his home,” Nicole said flatly.
“My darling, he is your father.” Louise spoke in a near whisper. “He may have done lots of things to cause the family shame, but he’s one of us. Our blood.”
“Do you really believe that, Gran?”
“I certainly do,” Sigrid suddenly barked. “Corrinne chose him. She had David, but she couldn’t keep herself in line. She was a man-eater, and she looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. You’re not a cold person, Nicole. Just the opposite, but you’re so bitter about your father. He suffered, too, you know.”
“What a lie.” Nicole’s blue-green eyes flashed.
“You were too young to see it,” Sigrid said, her throat flushed with emotion. “Too much in shock. That man suffered.”
“That monster! I’ve never spoken of it, but he used to slap me.”
“I know nothing of this!” Louise said in amazement.
“I didn’t want to start anything. Upset you or Granddad. He tried to throw a scare into me. It didn’t work.”
“I’m not surprised,” Sigrid said in a derisive voice. “You were just so…”
“What?”
“Spunky, I suppose. Cheeky. Too precocious.”
“She was adorable,” Louise protested, never one to find fault in her even when she deserved it, Nicole knew.
“That man didn’t love me. He didn’t want me around.”
Sigrid snorted, loud as a horse. “That’s not true, even if no one really rated beside Corrinne.”
“I don’t understand how you can defend him, Siggy—when it suits you, that is,” Nicole said.
This time Sigrid inhaled forcefully. “Because I feel sorry for him.”
“Well, I hate him. I mean, I really hate him. I could have had my mother—”
“You can’t get off it, can you? You’ve got some incredible block.”
“Block, be damned!” Nicole saw red.
“My dears, please stop.” Louise held a lavishly be-jeweled hand to her head.
“I’m so sorry, Gran.” Nicole broke off immediately. She and Siggy had always gone at it.
“There has to be hope for us,” Louise said. “If Drake has asked you over to Kooltar, surely we can see that as a thawing, can’t we?”
“Gracious me, who’d want to call on Callista?” Sigrid hooted. “You surely don’t think you’re going to fall into her outstretched arms, Mother. She bloody hates us, the cold bitch. She blames us all for the loss of her brother. She worshiped at his feet. Everyone knows that. If I’d have been her mother, I’d have sent her packing.”
“To where?” Nicole asked. “That’s hardly fair. She was the daughter of the house.”
“They should have sent her to one of her relatives in Sydney or Melbourne,” Siggy said sternly. “Opened up her life. Station living is too isolated. We’re too much in one another’s pockets. Callista was positively fixated on her brother. A byproduct of a lonely life. I tell you, if he hadn’t been her brother, she’d have tried to bag him. She was too close. A bit kinky, I’d say.”
“Like Joel is too close to me?” Nicole shocked her by saying.
Sigrid, on the voluptuous side when young, now bone thin, let out a swearword that made her mother wince. “That’s the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard. It’s not at all the same. Tell her, Mother.”
Louise sighed deeply, flapping her right hand helplessly. “I’m not sure if Nicole isn’t right.”
A worse swearword escaped Sigrid. “You’ve only just come home, Nicole, and you’re already stirring things up.”
“I’m trying to understand what’s going on in my life, Siggy,” Nicole responded hotly. “I don’t want to upset you, especially when you let fly like a station hand. This may not be the time to ask, either, but why did you get rid of Dot?”
“Why talk about bloody Dot?” Sigrid made a gesture as though she was swatting a fly. “It was time she retired. She wanted to live on the coast.”
“I never, ever heard her express that desire.” Nicole lifted her eyebrows.
“It seems she did, darling,” Louise intervened gently.
“She said that to you, Gran?” Nicole was amazed. “She said nothing to me and I was here in June. Why so sudden?”
“I don’t know, darling, but she seemed quite happy to leave. I was most surprised. I thought Dot was a fixture on Eden.”
“If you give me her address, Siggy, I’d like to contact her.” Nicole turned to her aunt.
Sigrid nodded stiffly. “I’m sure I’ve got it somewhere. If you don’t trust me, Nicole, to make decisions…”
“Of course I trust you, Siggy.” Nicole felt free to lie. “You should have told me, all the same. Dot was devoted to Joel and me when we were children. How much severance did you give her?”
“Certainly not a blank check.” Sigrid pulled a long face. “But enough to keep her comfortably for the rest of her life. That’s if she’s careful.”
“If you don’t want to say it, Siggy. Write it,” Nicole suggested acidly.
“All right, twenty thousand.” Sigrid compulsively smoothed her thick caramel-colored hair, her best feature for all her tendency to hack at it with nail scissors.
Nicole shook her head in dismay. “That was supposed to be generous? She could live for another twenty years unless she meets up with a bus.”
“I don’t think so,” Sigrid replied briskly. “Dot smokes like a chimney. I thought anyone who smoked was a leper these days. No one could stop her, though she didn’t dare smoke in the house. She’ll probably finish up with lung cancer.”
“Dot, poor Dot, what a vulnerable soul!” Nicole moaned. “This isn’t the end of it, Siggy. I have to ensure Dot is secure. That’s the least I can do. I suppose I can even meet Heath Cavanagh if I put my mind to it. If he’s not as ill as you’re saying, I’ll put him on the first plane out of here.”
“What about Zimbabwe?” Sigrid challenged. “Is that far enough?”
“You won’t want to when you see him, my darling,” Louise promised very quietly.
CHAPTER FIVE
WHERE WAS the handsome, rather bullish man she remembered? Where was the bulk of chest, the width of shoulder? The florid patches in darkly tanned cheeks? The voice like an erupting volcano? The intimidating demeanor? The glitter in large, mesmerizing, black eyes? Gone, all gone. His illness had reduced him to a haggard shell.
“Hello, Heath,” she said softly, venturing into the large elegant room this man had once shared with her mother. Even with fresh air streaming through the open French doors, it had a sickly fug.
“Nicole.” He moved to stand up, but fell back coughing into the deep leather armchair someone must have brought in for him. Siggy, probably. Nicole didn’t remember its being there.
“You look ill.” He looked far worse than ill. Despite herself she felt badly shaken.
“I am ill, bugger it, but the heart is still pumping.” A faint echo of the bluster. “How beautiful you are, girl. Aren’t you going to kiss your dear father?”
“That’s one heck of a question to ask. No, I’m not. You’re lucky I have s
uch a sweet nature, otherwise I wouldn’t have come to visit you.” She didn’t have the heart to say she half believed her real father was dead.
“Don’t blame you,” he mumbled. “Terrible father. No skills for it. No skills for husbanding. The only bloody thing I was ever good at was bedding women. And on my good days backing the right nags. Please sit down. I hope you’re going to stay a while.”
“So we can chat?” The animosity was unfolding. Nevertheless she did as he asked, taking a chair several feet away, facing the balcony.
“Sarcastic little bitch!” he grunted, his near-affectionate tone defusing the insult. “All right, so I’m a beast and a brute, but I care about you, Nicole. In my own miserable, insensitive way. Didn’t have much to give after your mother— Adored her. The plain truth.”
“I expect you’ve convinced yourself that’s true.”
“What do you know about passion, girl?” The sunken eyes flashed.
“Not much, but it’s nice of you to be concerned. Most days I walk about frozen inside. That comes from finding the bloodied and smashed bodies of my mother and her lover in the desert with the carrion circling. Some people might call that a fairly seismic trauma. And the name’s Nicole, by the way. I don’t answer to girl. It’s on my say-so that you’ll be staying on Eden.”
He looked amused. “Pardon me, but is that a threat, my lady?”
“It sure is,” she answered laconically.
“Even as a kid you knew how to crack the whip. Granddad’s little princess.”
“All destroyed.”
“Yes.” His sigh rattled. “I beg your pardon most humbly, Nicole, even if you were reared an uppity little madam. Not my doing.”
“Maybe you never knew how to speak to me properly, you cruel man.”
“When was I cruel to you?” He appeared genuinely taken aback.
“You used to take swings at me all the time.”
“When did one land?”
“I was too quick.”