by Nina Lane
Evan dragged a hand through his hair, his face creasing with frustration. “It’s not that simple. There’s nothing they can do, and I know they want to.”
“They can be here for you, Evan. So you’re not—”
Alone.
Tears slipped down Hannah’s cheeks. Pain, the cracking kind that felt as if it were breaking her in two, split through her chest.
“They want to be here for you,” she continued, wiping her eyes again. “The way I wasn’t for my mother and sister.”
“Hannah…”
Evan pushed the covers aside as if he wanted to get to her. The heart monitor started beeping in a rapid-fire rhythm. Hannah’s breath stuck in her chest.
“Fuck,” Evan muttered.
The door flew open. A nurse came in, her gaze going accusingly to Hannah. “Everything all right in here?”
“Fine.” Hannah backed toward the door. “Everything’s fine.”
“You need to be lying down, Evan.” The nurse bustled forward to check the monitor, indicating sharply for him to get back into bed. “You are not to become overwrought.”
“I’m not, goddammit.” He started to get to his feet.
The nurse flashed Hannah another glare. She turned and fled.
Chapter
TWENTY-TWO
After hearing from Polly that Evan’s family had arrived at the hospital, and that Polly and Luke were on their way back to Indigo Bay, Hannah set herself to the task of dealing with the broken-down Wild Child van. She researched several local mechanics and made arrangements for one of them to pick her up at a motel the following morning and take her out to the van. It would cost a fortune, but hopefully Polly’s insurance would cover some of the cost.
The mechanic towed the van back to the shop, where they took care of the repairs swiftly and expensively. She put the charges on her emergency credit card and returned to the hospital. She’d have to drive the van back to the Bay Area, but she couldn’t leave without seeing Evan.
Unfamiliar male voices drifted from his room. Hannah knocked on the half-open door and pushed it open to peer inside. His brother Adam and a tall older man with steel-colored hair stood near the window. The bed was empty.
Hannah’s heart stuttered. She took a step back just as both men looked at her.
“Hannah.” Adam strode toward her, his forehead creasing.
“Where’s… where’s Evan?”
“He’s with the doctor. They’re doing some last-minute testing before the flight.”
“What flight?”
“There’s a medical plane waiting for him at the airport.” The older man approached and extended his hand. “I’m Warren Stone, Evan’s father. We’re hoping to have him back in Indigo Bay within a couple of hours. I’m grateful for all you did for him.”
Hannah swallowed past the tightness in her throat. “I didn’t do anything. Is he going to be okay?”
Adam and Warren exchanged glances.
“We’ll know more when his cardiologist sees him,” Adam said. “You’re welcome to come on the flight with us.”
“I… I have to take care of my sister’s van.”
“We can help you with that.” Warren pulled out his phone. “Where is it?”
Hannah shook her head, not wanting Evan’s family to worry about her when Evan’s situation was so urgent.
“I’m taking care of it.” She moved back toward the door. “Can you please tell Evan I’ll call him soon? I should be back in Rainsville by mid-afternoon.”
Before either man could respond, she turned and hurried back down the corridor to the parking lot exit. She got back into the van and ruthlessly pushed all thoughts of Evan out of her mind as she started driving. His family could do so much more for him than she ever could.
She merged onto Interstate 5 and tried to keep her mind off Evan by thinking of her blog—though not a single love tradition in the world could make any of this better. She drove straight through, snacking on granola bars and bottled water, stopping only to refuel the van.
She exchanged several texts with Evan, who told her he was back in Indigo Bay and going into a meeting with his cardiologist. The texts stopped after the first few hours. New messages came in from Polly that she and Luke had arrived in San Francisco—the speed of their return evidence of Luke’s take-control efficiency.
Hannah drove into Rainsville close to three in the afternoon. The sun was a golden glow washing over the low rolling hills of the valley. She left her belongings in Polly’s apartment before heading down to Wild Child.
The instant she stepped into the bakery, she knew something had changed. The air was lighter, lit with a gentle energy like flowers blooming. Polly stood behind the counter, talking to Ramona.
For an instant, Hannah could only stare at her sister. Polly’s hair was cut into a shoulder-length tumble of soft curls, she had a pale application of makeup that enhanced her features, and she wore a colorful, wraparound skirt and snug-fitting top that flattered her curvy figure. She looked both the same and somehow entirely different.
“Hannah!” Polly smiled, opening her arms as she crossed the room.
As her sister enclosed her in an embrace, Hannah’s throat constricted.
“Hey, Polliwog. You look great.”
“So do you.” Polly pulled back and ran her gaze assessingly over her.
“How was your trip?”
“We were so anxious to get here that it seemed to take forever,” Polly said. “But we managed to get a flight out shortly after I talked to you. I’m so glad we made it back before Evan goes in.”
Hannah’s vision darkened at the edges. “Goes in where?”
“For his heart surgery.” A crease appeared between Polly’s eyebrows the instant before shock registered in her expression. “You didn’t know?”
“I… I knew he needed surgery but I didn’t know it would happen so soon.”
“Luke said Evan’s cardiologist wanted to get it done right away, after the arrhythmia,” Polly explained.
Hannah shook her head, as if to deny the truth. She didn’t have to know much about medical procedures to understand that open heart surgery was both risky and frightening. Sometimes the surgeon even had to stop the patient’s heart.
Hot tears stung her eyes. Her jaw tightened.
“It’s scheduled for nine tomorrow morning.” Polly reached under the counter to pick up her purse. “Have you seen him yet?”
“No.”
“Come on.” Polly peered into the kitchen and called to Ramona that they needed to leave for a couple of hours. “He’s at the cardiac care center in Indigo Bay. Let’s head over there now.”
Grateful to her sister for taking charge, Hannah followed Polly out to a sleek, black Lexus. Rush-hour traffic hadn’t started yet, and they made it into Indigo Bay in under forty minutes and parked in front of the cardiac care center. Polly guided Hannah toward the elevators and up to the twelfth floor.
Hannah’s nerves tightened to the breaking point as they walked down the corridor to Evan’s room. Voices drifted from the half-open door.
“You have to stay at your father’s during recovery,” Julia Bennett was saying. “Either that or I’m hiring a full-time nurse.”
“Stay at my place,” Luke Stone’s deep voice carried into the corridor. “Polly and I will be there, but you know there’s plenty of room.”
“You and Polly need to go back to Paris,” Evan said.
His voice flooded Hannah with light. She started into the room when Luke’s next remark stopped her in her tracks.
“So you can keep an eye on Hannah for a few more weeks, huh?” he asked.
Cold trickled down Hannah’s spine.
“I’m quite certain he was doing more than just babysitting her,” Julia remarked, her voice dryly amused.
“Hope she thought he was worth fifty K,” another man said.
“Did your date think you were worth almost half that?” The older man’s comment prompted scattered
laughter.
Polly frowned, taking hold of Hannah’s arm before rapping sharply on the door and stepping inside. Hannah followed, taking in the people in the room—Warren, Luke, Adam, and Tyler Stone, and the matriarch Julia Bennett. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Evan.
“Hannah.” Luke strode across the room to stop in front of her.
With his sharp, corporate-power demeanor, Hannah had always found the eldest Stone brother to be more than a little intimidating. But he looked more approachable now in a wrinkled T-shirt and jeans, with lines of concern etching his handsome features.
“Thanks for calling Polly and letting her know,” he said, his voice low. “We appreciate it.”
She nodded. If she spoke, her voice would break. After everyone else greeted her and gave her thanks that she didn’t deserve, Hannah gathered her courage and turned to Evan. Her whole body tightened in defense against the sight of him in the hospital bed, the knowledge of his upcoming surgery hanging like a pall in the air.
She approached him warily, forcing herself not to start shaking as she let her gaze roam over him. His skin had more color than it had yesterday, but his face was drawn, his eyes lined with dark circles. He looked weaker, diminished, as if his defective heart had gotten the better of him.
“Hey, Heartbreaker.” She brushed her fingers against his arm, somewhat comforted by the feel of his strong, hair-roughened forearm. “How do you feel?”
“All right.” He glanced at his brother Adam, and a wordless communication passed between them.
“Hey, let’s leave them alone for a while.” Adam gestured everyone else toward the door. “We can get a coffee at the café.”
There was a rustle and murmur of conversation, but the others filed out of the room. Polly paused beside Hannah and rested a hand on her arm. Hannah gave her sister a nod of assurance that she was okay. Polly squeezed her arm and left, closing the door.
Silence fell. Hannah kept her hand over Evan’s. His skin was as warm as it had always been.
“I hear they decided you need the surgery right away,” she said.
He nodded. “Should take a few hours.”
“Were you going to call and tell me?”
He stared at the opposite wall. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Well, maybe I want to worry,” Hannah said. “Maybe I want to be here for you. I know we agreed we were just having fun, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you… a lot. Even if we weren’t involved, you’re almost Polly’s brother-in-law. That makes you…”
Family.
Longing flooded her veins. Was it possible that after a decade of escaping family and home out of fear of getting hurt, she could now actually find comfort in the idea?
Evan shook his head. “You didn’t sign up for this.”
“It’s not a damned contract, Evan. I want to be here.”
Silence descended between them. Hannah slipped her hand away from his arm. A chill shivered over her skin.
“Or maybe there was a contract between you and Luke.” She swallowed, hurt rising into her chest. “Because you were just babysitting me, right?”
His mouth tightened. “That’s not what Julia meant.”
“That’s what it sounded like.” She held up a hand when he opened his mouth to protest. “Never mind. I get it. I was a flight risk.”
I still am.
“He was going to come back, that was all.” Evan dragged a hand down his face. “I couldn’t let him. So I told him I’d make sure you stayed in town. That was part of the reason I asked you to Napa and offered to help with your blog content. I told you that. But you were the main reason.”
“You didn’t tell me you’d promised Luke you’d keep an eye on me.”
“Hannah.” Evan sighed, his expression flashing with frustration. “I’d had my damned eye on you since the day I met you at Wild Child. So when my big brother told me he thought you were about to bail because of whatever you told Polly, it was my golden opportunity. How could I not offer to keep you in town, especially since it gave me an excuse to be near you?”
Hannah’s hurt softened a little, but not by much. She’d put herself in the position of being babysat because she’d been chomping at the bit to get out of Rainsville and she’d hinted to Polly that she wanted to leave right now. Considering the number of times she’d bailed over the years, it was no wonder Polly had gotten nervous. Then she’d told Luke, and Luke had flown into action because that was what the CEO did—
Hannah stepped away from the bed and stared out the window at the rooftops of Indigo Bay. No one had believed her capable of staying. Not even her.
“Hey.”
She turned. Evan was watching her, his eyes as blue as ever, the light in them undimmed by any weakness of his body.
“Come here, Lockhart.”
She approached him again. He shifted to the side, making a place for her. Even as she hesitated, she was unable to resist the invitation. She lay beside him, closing her eyes as his arm went around her, pulling her closer.
The antiseptic smell of the hospital didn’t dilute the delicious, musky male scent of him. Cedar and sage. She rested her hand on his chest. His heart thumped against her palm, still beating with a heavy, solid rhythm that belied all talk of defects and valve replacements.
Was this love? This wild, complex yearning for another person? The sharp fear of losing him mixed with the overwhelming joy of being with him right now, his body warm and solid against hers and his breath stirring her hair? Was true love this tangle of emotions, this breathtaking need, the feeling that she would give anything to be with Evan rather than alone? Was it knowing in some deep-seated part of her being that she belonged to him, and only him?
Yes, whispered a little voice in Hannah’s heart.
Every experience in her life—getting lost in the narrow streets of Trastevere, navigating a crowded Calcutta market, squeezed into an overcrowded bus on the hills of Argentina—all of her walking, hiking, train trips, flights, everything had been leading her back to Rainsville so she could stay long enough to find Evan.
But she had no idea what would happen next. She knew how to travel without a plan. She didn’t know how to love without one.
“When are you leaving?” Evan asked.
Hannah spread her palm over his chest. What would she do if he asked her to stay?
“I… I promised Polly I’d stay until she comes back for good.”
“She told me she’s going to talk to Ramona about taking over for the next two months. Said you’ve done your time.”
Hannah’s spine tensed. She lifted her head to look at him. “I didn’t think of it like that. At least, not after I met you. I’ve had an incredible time.”
A smile tugged at his mouth. “So have I.”
She shifted to press her face against the side of his warm neck. “I hate that you have to go through this.”
“I’m in good hands. The surgeon, the cardiologist… I’m lucky to have them.”
She slid her hand down his chest, letting her fingers trace the ridge of his scar. Though she was scared to know the details, she had discovered over the past few weeks that she wanted to know everything about Evan. She would not cringe from any part of him. She’d done that when her mother had fallen ill, and as much as she’d tried to justify her absence, the guilt would never go away.
“Do they have to stop your heart?” she asked.
“Yes.” He threaded his hand through her hair. “Aw, Lockhart… don’t do that.”
She choked back a sob, even as tears fell in rivers down her cheeks.
“I got through it when I was eight,” Evan said. “I’ll get through it again.”
Hannah wiped her face with the back of her hand. “I’ll be waiting for you when it’s over. Tell me more of the things you like.”
“The smell of your hair.” His deep voice rumbled through his chest. “Antique maps. Waterfalls. Jigsaw puzzles. Eating cereal for
dinner. Your gorgeous ass. A new pen. When a little kid does a happy dance. Full moons. The way you scrunch up your nose when you’re annoyed. Driftwood. A good stretch. Making love to you.”
“Evan,” Hannah whispered. “I love you.”
His hand stilled on her hair. His heart beat faster.
“Have to check your vital stats, Mr. Stone.” A nurse’s cheerful voice broke through the tension-thick air.
Hannah pulled herself reluctantly away from Evan, the declaration having lifted a weight from her shoulders. She didn’t expect to hear the words in return. She didn’t even know if she wanted to, not with all the complications the tangle of their two confessions would bring. But if nothing else, she would not let Evan go into surgery without knowing of her love for him.
The nurse approached the bed and attached the cuff to his arm. Voices filtered into her ears as Warren, Julia, Luke, and Adam came back into the room, followed by a tall, stern-looking man in a white coat who spoke with the authoritative voice of the doctor. Evan looked toward Hannah. Their gazes met with tangible force.
Raw tenderness passed between them. Everything inside her ached with the urge to grab him, haul him from the horrible hospital bed, and run away. She wanted him to see the majestic Incan ruins of Peru. She wanted to dance with him at Catalan festivals and walk with him in the wild, open landscape of the Serengeti. She wanted to curl up against him at his ramshackle beach house and watch TV.
She stepped toward the door. She tore her gaze from Evan, heard the doctor saying something about the surgery, risks, complications.
Fear slithered black and cold into the pit of her stomach. An image formed like a horror movie in her mind—Evan lying unconscious on an operating table with his chest split open. Attached to machines keeping him alive. A surgeon with bloody gloves cutting into him.
His heart—his beautiful, full, whole heart—stopping.
She wiped away her tears and forced herself to leave the room. She wanted to make him healthy again, to give him her heart.
And yet she already had.
Chapter