by Mary Morgan
Fiona rubbed at her temples. So much information to process.
“I can understand how difficult this is for you to hear. It all seems bizarre,” added Brigid.
Fiona stared at the woman. “Bizarre? I’ve time-traveled back into the past. Been rescued by a Dragon Knight with special gifts. Traveled across Ireland and was introduced to my real family and then told I had in my possession a Fae relic, which needed to be cleansed. Captured by a crazed lunatic, but set free by his brother and been in a coma for eight days.” She snorted loudly. “There are times when I truly think I have fallen down the rabbit hole.”
“Exactly what I thought, too!” laughed Brigid grasping her hands.
Fiona realized they still had not answered her one burning question. “Where is he? Where is Alastair? It can’t be good, since Merlin is still here.”
Brigid released Fiona’s hands, and her face turned somber. Fiona prepared herself to hear the worst.
That he could be dead.
“Alastair left two days ago, Fiona. Merlin refused to go with him.”
Her mind reeled. Was he assisting his brothers? “Left to do what?”
“We don’t know. He could not stay any longer. So…” Aileen shrugged.
Panic gripped Fiona. Something wasn’t right. Why would he leave her? She thought he cared with all the time they’d spent together. “Why in the hell would Alastair leave?” she choked out holding back the scream.
“He didn’t want to watch you die. Each day that passed took you further away. There was nothing he or any of us could do.” Brigid divulged.
Her voice quivered. “Got it….ummm…he abandoned me.”
Brigid sighed. “I believe he cared for you so much, he could not stand to watch you leave him.”
Fiona’s tone turned bitter as she clutched the furs. “When you care for someone, you stay with them until the very end. No matter what happens. What? Did he say good-bye, kiss me, and then just walk out of here? I hope to God our paths never cross again.”
“Do you really mean that, Fiona?” asked Aileen in a soft voice.
Closing her eyes, she didn’t want to look at either of the women. Her head throbbed, and her heart weighed heavy knowing that the only man she would ever love had walked away from her.
“Please leave,” she murmured.
When the door closed, she finally opened her eyes. She refused to let the tears fall, so she bit her lip and swallowed. Digging her hands into the furs, she kept trying to breathe. Everywhere she looked there was something that reminded her of Alastair. The plaid he had given her to stay warm, a sgian dubh for protection, and glancing around the room slowly, her eyes caught sight of something on the chair by the head of the bed.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she counted to ten. Yet, when she opened them, there was no denying it any longer and sadness engulfed her. As she tried to reach for the object, her vision became clouded, the tears streaming down her face, as she was unable to hold them back.
Grasping the chess piece, she clutched it to her chest. “Why, Alastair?” Sobbing uncontrollably, she realized that he had given her the Dragon King as his parting gift to her.
And her heart shattered completely.
Chapter Thirty-Six
“When Alastair left, he took a part of my soul, leaving me in two different worlds without his love.”
—Fiona O’Quinlan, as told to the Guardian
Staring out at the loch, Fiona leaned her head against the tree. Blissful silence greeted her, and she welcomed the quiet. The castle overflowed with too many voices—voices that were cheerful, full of love and family. Love for children. Love for each other. Love for husbands and wives.
She felt uncomfortable around them.
The only peace she allowed herself was the one from the animals. Merlin had become her constant companion, and as she sat and scratched behind his ears, she realized why she never trusted anyone except them.
People failed her. Animals did not.
“Loyal, steadfast, and true. That’s what you are, Merlin. My hero.” Tears threatened to spill forth, but she had cried for days and on the seventh day, she decided to stop. There was no point in making herself a wreck over the man. Squeezing her eyes shut, she forced the tears back.
Alastair was never coming back to Urquhart, and she had to move on with her life. “He probably destroyed his axe and already returned to sea, right?”
Merlin raised his head off her lap and looked up at her. Cupping his face, Fiona narrowed her eyes. “You’re upset with him, too. Did he even say good-bye to you?” She waited for a response from the dog, but he remained silent.
Plucking a wildflower, she twirled it her hand. Memories of how Alastair spread a carpet around them when they made love invaded her mind and tears returned. She was a blubbering fool. “Damn you, Alastair MacKay. You let the beast win, didn’t you?”
“He was not always that way,” said Duncan stepping into the clearing. He picked up a rock and flung it out into the loch.
Wiping at her eyes, she cast a sideways glance at him. Unlike Alastair, he didn’t wear trews. Instead, he draped a plaid over and around his long tunic. However, he carried himself the same as Alastair. Strong. Confident. Except Duncan was more at ease. Tension didn’t constantly hum through him as it did with Alastair. Then there was Stephen and when he smiled, she saw Alastair.
I wish I could stop thinking about you!
She didn’t want to ask, yet the question tumbled out of her. “What was he like?”
He smirked and tossed another rock out into the water. “Stubborn, though ’tis a MacKay trait. Loved a good challenge and laughed often. He could tell a good tale, too.” Duncan rubbed his chin. “Though, some of his tales were not true and once, Angus threatened to burn his tongue out of his mouth.”
Fiona found it hard to believe the man he was talking about was Alastair. He rarely smiled and grumbled most of the time. “Are we speaking about the same person?”
“Och, Fiona, sadly ’tis true.” Sitting down next to her, he gazed out at the loch. “The Alastair ye ken is not the brother I remember. We all changed the night Margaret died.” Turning, he looked at her. “Ye would not have liked the man I was many moons ago. Nor Stephen.”
“But you found peace…and Brigid,” she said quietly avoiding his eyes.
“Not completely. Until all brothers are united, I cannae claim it. Though, my love for Brigid is endless.”
“Alastair is never returning, so you may find it hard to resolve,” she snapped tossing the flower aside.
“Do ye love him, Fiona?”
Glaring at him, she pointed a finger. “Don’t ever speak to me of love and him in the same sentence.” She had been a complete fool to think he could possibly care for her the same. Everyone kept telling her how much he was torn seeing her lifeless body in the bed. Then why didn’t he just stay? Obviously, a week was far too much to ask of the man.
Standing, Duncan started to walk away and then paused, clasping his hands behind his back. “I watched Brigid die in my arms, Fiona. I will never forget the memory. It crushed my soul into a thousand pieces. Therefore, I cannot blame my brother for not wanting to stay. Ye will always have a home here at Urquhart.”
Watching as he slowly walked away, Fiona wanted to stop him and make him understand. But she was a coward and waited until she could no longer see him, blurting out to Merlin, “How can I possibly stay when everywhere I turn, he is here torturing me? I sleep in his bed and desire flares inside me. I mourn the loss. It’s as if he was the one that died, and I’m living with his ghost.”
Fiona longed to rip out her heart and fling it into the loch.
Hours later Fiona passed through the kitchens, and heard Brigid call out her name. Scowling her displeasure, she wanted to be left alone. Between her and Aileen, they fussed over her like old women. Her strength had returned quickly, though her appetite had not improved. Brigid was probably the one that sent Duncan to check on her. Did they not unde
rstand she wanted to be left alone?
Picking up her steps, she pretended not to hear Brigid and sidestepped into the corridor, colliding with Aileen.
Busted, Fiona! “Sorry,” she mumbled.
Aileen arched a brow. “In a hurry to escape us?”
Fiona froze realizing how silly she was being and laughed. “Is it that obvious?”
“I’ll tell you a secret,” said Brigid from behind her. “I would do the same. We can be very annoying. At least that’s what our husbands tell us, right, Aileen?”
“You got that right, Brigid.”
Fiona’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, really.” She waved her hands in exasperation. “There are far too many happy people here, and I’m in no mood to be around them. Besides, in case you have not noticed, I prefer animals over humans.”
Brigid placed an arm around her shoulder. “In that regard, you are very similar to Nell. So, I do understand. As for your mood…it’s quite acceptable. You’re grieving.”
She snorted loudly. “Grieving for what? It’s more like anger.”
“Grief has many faces,” replied Aileen. “I should know. When Liam MacGregor brought me back to my own time, I was furious, not only with Liam but also with Stephen. They had made a pact behind my back to do whatever it took to protect me—without asking for my input. When I returned to my own time, my father died in my arms, and I didn’t know for weeks if Stephen lived or died.”
“How did you go on? I mean with your life?” asked a stunned Fiona.
Aileen smiled and touched her abdomen. “I was carrying our child. When I found out, I decided to carve out a life for us in the future. That is, until I realized I could travel the veil of time.” She chuckled softly. “I think I scared Liam on that day with the revelation.”
Fiona’s mind raced. Was it possible? Without thinking, she placed both hands down to her abdomen. It did not go undetected by the women. Feeling the heat across her face, she dropped her hands.
“Fiona?” whispered Brigid. “Do you think…I mean I don’t want to assume…and it’s none of my business—”
She shook her head, stunned that she could possibly be carrying Alastair’s child. A prospect she never even considered. They had unprotected sex and not once did she contemplate birth control. What the hell had she been thinking? Looking at Brigid, she replied, “I don’t know.”
“Oh sweet Goddess,” muttered Aileen. Glancing over the top of Fiona’s head, she pointed at Brigid. “We are definitely not telling Duncan and Stephen.”
Fiona broke out in a sweat. “I feel ill.”
“It could be nerves, or you could be pregnant,” gasped Aileen.
“Hush!” hissed Brigid. “Knowing our luck, someone will hear and it will be all over the castle within seconds. There always seems to be an extra pair of ears where there shouldn’t be.”
Waving off both women, Fiona leaned against the cool stone. “It’s not that kind of sick feeling. I just never thought about it.” Closing her eyes, she said in a hushed tone, “He was my first.”
“Ahh…” both women said in unison.
Pushing away from the wall, she brushed the curls from her face. She didn’t want to think about Alastair, or the fact that she might be pregnant. “What is it you wanted to ask me earlier, Brigid?”
Looping her arm through hers, Brigid drew her close. “I wanted to ask if you would like to join us for a mini spa day.”
“Excuse me? Where?”
Aileen took her other arm, and they propelled her further down the corridor. “We have this special place where it’s secluded. There is a tiny stream, which always stays warm. I’m thinking Stephen has something to do with it, since water is his power. We try to make it down there at least once a week. Today, we wanted to include you.”
“We’re also dying to trim our hair and if our husbands caught us they would throw fits,” interjected Brigid.
Aileen rolled her eyes. “You would think we were chopping it all off according to Stephen. But he’ll never notice an inch.”
Fiona almost fainted with excitement. “I would love for someone to cut my curls.”
“Short and sassy suits you,” stated Brigid.
“Lead the way, ladies.”
****
With the sun warming her body, Fiona stretched lazily out on the boulder. Wrapping a shawl over her body, she peered around at her surroundings. The lush foliage and small waterfall was hidden behind giant pine trees. It was a wonder anyone could have found their private spa. They’d all practically had to crawl on their hands and knees the last few feet to reach the clearing.
Running her hands through her curls, she couldn’t thank Brigid enough for making her feel refreshed. It was exactly what she needed. Letting her feet dangle in the water, she closed her eyes. Sensing something hovering nearby, she slit one eye open. “Hello, there.” A hummingbird flitted just above her head. “Agreed. Magical.” Watching as it flew off, she closed her eye.
“How do you do that?” asked Brigid.
“I’m sorry, do what?”
“Talk to them?”
“Oh, that.” Smiling, Fiona looked over at Brigid as she was drying her hair. “They are usually the ones that greet me first. Often, they communicate with a picture or one word.”
“You do understand your gift is linked to the Fae,” commented Aileen, between bites of an apple.
Fiona blanched. “How do you know this?”
“According to Liam, gifts of that nature are only reserved for those who have Fae blood.”
“You keep mentioning this Liam…” Fiona stopped in mid-sentence recalling Liam’s last name. “This Liam wouldn’t by chance have a brother called Rory?”
Eyes widening, she replied, “Why, yes, he does.”
“Blasted MacGregor brothers. I worked with Rory at Trinity College. It wasn’t until I came to the past that I was told what he was.”
Brigid held up her hand. “Well, at least you didn’t have to be around Conn MacRoich.”
“Do you have any gifts, Brigid?”
“Only that I’m descended from the O’Neills of ancient Ireland and can sense Duncan’s thoughts and feelings. I believe I’ve been watched over by the Fae all my life—including Conn.”
Placing her chin on her knees, Fiona asked, “Do you ever get the sensation we’ve been manipulated to suit their plans?”
Aileen sobered. “I would hope not. My father was one of their greatest warriors and even he could not foresee future events.”
As Fiona rubbed her fingers over her cuff bracelet, thoughts of her brothers invaded her mind. Could she possibly have Fae blood? Surely, they would have shared this knowledge. However, with everything that happened to her they might have chosen not to tell her, for fear she would go screaming into the hills.
They all sat in silence, and then chatted about their former lives, until dark clouds threatened to spoil their lovely outing. Gathering their items, they started back to the castle. In a short time, Fiona had bonded with these two women. It would be so perfect staying on at Urquhart. Nonetheless, deep down, her heart would always ache as the days, months, and years passed.
A constant reminder of Alastair.
If she was ever going to heal, there was only one solution. Return to Ireland—her true family. Hopefully, her brothers would accept her along with the child she might be carrying.
Seeing the castle in the distance, Fiona’s stomach grumbled.
“Good to hear you’re hungry,” said Brigid over her shoulder.
“I guess I need more than bread, cheese, and fruit.”
“I believe Delia is making a cheese and turnip dish tonight along with a serving of venison.”
Fiona shivered at the mention of the deer meat.
Seeing her reaction, Aileen quickly added, “Don’t worry. There will be plenty of other dishes. Alastair told us of your eating preferences.”
“Thanks.”
As they drew nearer to the castle, they noticed the
portcullis was open. Aileen shielded her eyes against the sun. “I believe we have visitors.”
“MacFhearguis?” asked Brigid.
“Don’t think so.”
“Well, we’d better hurry. Delia will require more help in the kitchen.”
“I hope it’s nobody important. We’re a mess,” grumbled Aileen, hitching up her gown and walking faster.
“Our hair is flowing, and we smell heavenly,” teased Brigid trying to catch up.
Fiona’s steps faltered when she walked through. Giving a shout of joy, she cared less what others thought of her appearance. This was a perfect ending to a marvelous afternoon. Running as fast as her feet and gown would allow, she nearly flung herself into the arms of her brother, Desmond.
He caught her with one arm and chuckled.
“How did you find me?”
“It was not difficult considering ye were with the MacKay.”
She brushed her hand over his arm, which was in a partial splint. Thank goodness they encountered the druids when they did. “Healing?”
He held the arm up, smirking. “Of course. It would not be the first time I have injured a limb. The druids used comfrey to help set the bones, and the wound is already knitting together. I shall not be wearing this much longer.”
“Thank the Goddess,” chuckled Kevan, stepping forward. “He fought the healer each day on when it could be removed.”
“Hello, Kevan.”
“It is good to see ye as well, Fiona.”
Hugging Desmond again, she sighed. The sooner she left Urquhart, the better. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you.”
“Fiona, there is not much that can keep an O’Quinlan down.” Releasing her, Desmond peered over her shoulder, his gaze meeting Duncan, yet his words were for her. “And where is Alastair?”
Duncan waved them toward the entrance. “There is much to discuss. Come join us. We can talk about Alastair over food and drink.”
Fiona squirmed when she noticed Desmond crossing his arms over his chest. She recognized that stance well. He wasn’t going anywhere without his question being answered. Looking directly at her, he asked, “What has the MacKay done to ye?”