by Suzanne Hart
“We don’t know where he was going to take you, he didn’t tell us. But yes, assumably that was where he was going.”
I had to tell him the truth, I couldn’t lie to my son.
“Then you can take me there instead, can’t you, Daddy?” He screeched. I could sense Tessa looking away. What was this going to mean for us?
“Alfie, maybe we should discuss this in the morning. You should sleep on it. You’re probably just tired and exhausted,” I suggested but he shook his head wildly.
“I am not! Daddy, please! I hate it here. I have no friends. I want to go back to London!”
I turned back around in my seat and looked out of the window.
Moving back to London sounded like a daunting prospect now. Alfie probably just assumed that Tessa would come with us, but how was I supposed to ask her to do that?
I couldn’t just order her to uproot her whole life and move to a different country. Based on what? She and I barely knew each other. We hadn’t even started dating properly. We were only beginning to get to know each other.
On what basis would she move continents and follow me to England?
“Daddy?” Alfie continued.
“Not now, Son. We need to think about it,” I said, trying not to snap at him.
“Tessa, please, convince Daddy. We have to go back to London. It’s the only place where I’ll be happy!” Alfie had thrown himself on Tessa and she was hugging him tightly.
In the rearview mirror, I caught her eyes. For a moment, she looked forlorn, but then she smiled weakly at me.
“I’m sure he’ll make the right decision for you, Alfie. You just have to trust him,” she replied to him.
Alfie huffed and puffed, and made his displeasure known.
“Daddy, you need to promise me now! Promise me! Please. I want to go back to London and you’ll take me!”
How was I supposed to refuse my son? I couldn’t put anything else before him. Least of all, my own desires.
I gulped and rubbed a hand over my face.
“Okay, Alfie, yes, I promise. We’ll return to London soon,” I said.
Alfie was more than excited to hear it. He hugged Tessa. I tried catching her eyes in the rearview mirror again, but she kept her face firmly turned from me.
We drove back to the penthouse and we put Alfie to bed together. Penny fussed over him and insisted that she would spend the night at his bedside. After Tessa and I had both read him stories and eventually, an hour later when he had fallen asleep, we were able to leave his room.
“We definitely deserve a drink,” I exclaimed with a nervous laugh. Tessa smiled and nodded.
She followed me to the living room, where I poured each of us a few fingers of whiskey.
“Do you want something lighter?” I asked and she shook her head.
“No, this is exactly what I need,” she replied and took the glass from me.
We sipped our drinks and stood in silence in the living room. Each waiting for the other to say something. Now suddenly, it felt like everything had changed. Where were we supposed to go from here?
43
Tessa
I was afraid of what Clark was going to say. I knew that things had changed in the past few hours. Alfie’s abduction had put things into perspective for him and I knew he was thinking of his son.
I watched him, standing by the window of his living room; looking out at the late night. He was clutching his glass of whiskey tightly, barely drinking from it. I knew it was the same thing on both our minds.
When he turned to me finally, there was sadness in his blue eyes.
“So, we finally get to have that conversation,” he remarked and a weak smile formed on his face.
I was nervous and embarrassed. I didn’t want to appear to be too enthusiastic. I didn’t want to make it any more difficult than I knew it already was.
“I’m glad Alfie is safe. I think he will be fine,” I said to him and Clark nodded.
“I just don’t know what to tell him about Celine and Gordon,” he added.
“Maybe in a few months, when things have died down and he’s in a better mood—you should explain to him what happened. Children deserve to know the truth. As long as he has you and your unconditional love, he will know that he is safe and cared for,” I said.
Clark was watching me with glittering dark eyes. It seemed like he was hanging on to my every word. Eventually, he took a sip of his drink and nodded in agreement.
“I think you are right. He just needs some time and honesty. Alfie is a smart kid. I’m sure it won’t be trouble for him to grasp the basics.”
I looked down at my glass, nervous about where this conversation was headed. I could sense Clark’s eyes on me, watching me.
“Tessa…” he said my name, softly.
I was forced to look up at him and meet his eyes again.
“This evening, after we…when I was at your apartment, I wanted to talk to you about where our relationship was headed,” he said. I nodded my head. Hearing him speak about this was hard. Harder than I thought it would be.
“Yes, I know,” I interrupted him, but he continued.
“I wanted us to discuss the possibility of something stable. I wanted to ask you out, on a real date. I don’t care about Gordon anymore. I don’t care that you were in a relationship with him.”
I could feel hot tears burning the backs of my eyelids.
We had come so close to having the real thing. For some time, even if it was half an hour—I felt like everything I wanted in my life had come true. I had finally found the man I could spend the rest of my life with.
“But you have to go,” I said.
Clark held my gaze strongly. He wanted me to know how difficult this was for him. I knew, because I was feeling the same way.
“I have to return to London, for Alfie,” he said and I nodded; exaggeratedly bobbing my head up and down.
“Yes, I understand. I completely get it. You have to do what is good for him,” I said.
Clark took a step towards me and I looked away. I felt like if he came any closer to me, I would melt to a puddle at my feet.
“Tessa, I really wanted it to work between us. If I could explain to you how I feel…” he continued.
“I know!” I snapped.
I realized I’d been rude, so I forced myself to smile. Forced myself to hold back the tears.
“I know, Clark, because I felt it too. But you have to go back to London, and be there for your son. I have a job waiting for me in New York. We barely know each other.”
Clark squared his shoulders, breathing in deeply.
“I want to say I’m sorry, but it’s not only you who I’m disappointing, Tessa. I’m disappointing myself too,” he said.
He had taken several steps towards me now and our bodies were close. But he was keeping his distance, and I was grateful for that. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to control myself if he got any closer.
“There is no need for an apology. I want Alfie to be happy. I want you to be happy too. Maybe someday, we’ll meet again,” I said. I was trying to hold my head firmly up, but I was choking up.
Clark’s face was darkened and solemn. I knew he’d run out of words. There was nothing left to say.
“Tessa…” he breathed my name and tried to reach for my hand, but I drew myself away from him.
“Thanks for the drink, Clark, but I have to go,” I said, just as my voice cracked.
I turned from him and rushed down the hallway towards the main door. I could hear Clark’s footsteps behind me. He was following me.
I waited for the elevator with a racing heart. I didn’t want to turn to look at him.
“Tessa!” He called out to me, just as the elevator doors pinged open. I looked at him as I took one step inside.
“I hope you have a wonderful life!” He said. I forced myself to smile and then the doors shut.
The tears came flooding down my cheeks and I wiped them rapidly. It was over. Ju
st as quickly as it began.
This time, my heart was aching in a way it had never ached before. I felt like I was in actual physical pain. Like my stomach was twisting and cramping and like I couldn’t move my knees.
I stumbled out of the elevator and ran down the lobby till finally, I was outside in the cool Chicago air.
I was going to miss him. I was going to miss Alfie.
I decided I was going to take the following week off from work, so that I didn’t have to see him at the office again. If my heart was breaking, it might as well break, because I couldn’t stop it.
44
Tessa
Three months later - New York
I was sitting at my desk, going over the final touches of the pitch I’d helped finalize for our clients the following day. Things had been going better than I expected.
I’d been in New York for nearly two months now, found myself a cute little apartment in Brooklyn to share with a girl I met at the office, and I was beginning to feel settled.
I thought about Clark often, of course, I did. It was impossible not to think about him, since I still worked at his ad agency! His name got mentioned at work a lot, it was difficult to escape.
I thought about Alfie too, and I hoped they were doing well. After the first couple of sleepless nights I’d spent, lying awake in bed and re-living every single moment we’d spent together—I’d managed to move on.
That was the difference between the way things had ended with Gordon, and the way they’d ended with Clark. I was angry with Gordon. I wanted him to hurt the way he’d hurt me.
With Clark, even though I missed him and I knew I loved him; I was happy for him as well. I hoped that he and Alfie would find peace and contentment.
Once in New York, I threw myself into work. I kept myself busy doing exactly the kind of work I loved doing. It was true, working at Soar made me feel accomplished and good. I felt challenged every day and creatively fulfilled. Clark had given me the opportunity of a lifetime, and even though we might never meet again—I didn’t want to disappoint him.
“Go home, Tessa!” I heard a friendly voice behind me. It was Nelly, one of the girls on my team.
“I’m gone,” I said with a smile and started packing up my bags. It was already past seven, and the office was nearly empty.
Tucking the pitch-file under my arm, I left my cubicle and made my way to the elevator. As I left the office, I had a smile on my face. I was grateful for the opportunities I had, I was thankful for my life—even though I knew nothing would be the same, now that Clark was gone from it.
In the lobby downstairs, I spoke briefly to the receptionist and said goodbyes to the security guard and finally stepped out onto the bustling streets of Manhattan.
There was a slight chill in the air, so I tightened my coat around me and started walking.
“Hello, Tessa,” I heard his voice around me. For a moment I thought I imagined it, hallucinating. I looked about in a panic and saw Clark standing a few feet away from me. People were rushing past between us hurriedly, busy New Yorkers who didn’t have the time to stop or slow down.
Clark was in a suit, his dark hair brushed back handsomely, his blue eyes glowing and his hands in his pockets.
“Clark!” I exclaimed. I didn’t trust my eyes.
“I didn’t think I’d have to wait quite this long for you to leave the office. You work too much!” He remarked. He waited for the flow of thoroughfare between us to diminish, before he stepped up closer to me.
I craned my neck back, to look up at him in awe. I still couldn’t believe it.
“Are you here for work?” I asked, stammering. Clark smiled wide and then shook his head.
“Not in the least. I’m here for you, and I was hoping you’d still want to talk to me,” he said.
I had my brows crossed in confusion. I was somewhat hurt too. Was this a joke? Was he teasing me? What did he want?
Clark was searching my eyes as he came even closer. Before I knew what he was going to do, he placed his hands on my arms and leaned in closer. His hot breath was falling on my face. My heart raced violently in my chest.
“What are you doing here, Clark?” I asked and he knocked his forehead with mine.
“I can’t do it, Tessa. I tried. I really tried to forget you and move on, but I can’t,” he said.
I searched his eyes for an explanation. Was he being serious?
“I haven’t forgotten you either, Clark…but…” He smiled.
“Then why are we doing this, Tessa? Why are we torturing ourselves like this? What is stopping us from being together?” He said.
I gulped. My throat had gone dry. Was he really suggesting what I thought he was? Was he being serious?
“I don’t understand,” I said, my voice drifting and Clark continued to smile.
“I can come here whenever I want. Like today. I took my private jet and flew here. I got up in the morning and decided that I needed to see you, so that is what I did. What is stopping me from doing it again? This weekend for instance,” he continued.
He was serious! He wasn’t joking!
I drew in a deep breath and a smile started spreading on my face. This was actually happening. Clark was here and he was proposing a relationship. An unconventional one, but we could make this work. I knew we could!
“What do you think, Tessa?” He asked, and before he’d even finished that sentence, I was nodding my head.
“Yes!” I blurted.
Clark wrapped his arm around my waist and lifted me up. I held on to his shoulders, as our lips met. My feet were dangling in the air, my purse and the files were on the ground, fallen while he kissed me.
This was more magical than our first kiss. It was a kiss of promise. While his tongue explored my mouth, and his arms wrapped around my body—I was sure of one thing; there was nobody in the world I could trust as much as I trusted Clark. He had the power of making me feel like the happiest woman in the world.
45
Clark
Six months later
I woke up to the peaceful sound of Tessa breathing beside me. She was snuggled in the crook of my arm, and our legs were intertwined. I could smell her on my pillows, I could feel the softness and the warmth of her body. Even though it was early and I shouldn’t have woken her, I couldn’t resist kissing her cheek.
Tessa’s eyelids fluttered open gently and she looked up at me groggily.
“Hello, there,” she whispered and I kissed her lips.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I said and ran my hand down the length of her naked body. Her clothes were lying stripped and scattered all around my bedroom.
She’d arrived late the previous night, way after Alfie had already fallen asleep. And the first thing we’d done when we saw each other was stumble into the bedroom and make love.
When my hand found the warm mound between her thighs now, I stroked her. She moaned, smiling, stretching her arms and rolling her hips underneath the covers. I could feel her pussy awakening, slowly lubricating to a juicy wetness. I stroked her budding clit, rubbed her pussy.
My cock was beginning to throb and grow too. I pressed hard against her and she nibbled at my neck.
“We can’t, Clark…Alfie!” She remarked and tried to push me away. I caught her by the waist and pulled her back to me before she could wriggle free.
I breathed heavily on her neck, sucked on her skin till I’d left a deep purple love bite and finally, I released her.
Tessa chewed on her lip and slid out of bed.
“You shouldn’t have done that, Mr. Webber! I’ll be on my toes all day now, fantasizing about you,” she said.
I lay back in bed, crossing my hands on the pillow to prop myself up.
I watched as Tessa walked into the large closet in my room. She had her own section in the wardrobe now, where she kept her ‘London clothes.’
“I’m taking Alfie to Regent’s Park and then we’re going to get lunch,” she called out. I couldn’t s
ee her anymore in the closet, and I missed her already.
“I’ll join you guys,” I said.
Tessa emerged a few minutes later, all ready for the day. She was wearing a tight grey dress and a short black leather jacket and black ankle boots. She’d tied her long chestnut hair up in a messy bun.
“That sounds great, hun,” she said and walked to the bed again.
“I’m going to have to pop into the office for a bit and I’ll meet you after. Alfie has a playdate with his mate, Jeff, in the evening,” I said. Tessa kissed me on my forehead and stepped away.
“Yeah, I saw that,” she said. We’d figured out a neat system of sharing our calendars with each other. That way, she was always on top of our schedule, especially Alfie’s.
“So, maybe we can do something while Alfie’s with his friend?” I suggested. Tessa nodded her head, smiling wide.
“Do you really have to go now?” I asked her and she pouted her lips.
“I promised Alfie. He’s been looking forward to it. We don’t want to disappoint him, do we?” She said. “Besides, you have to work anyway. On a Saturday!” She was rolling her eyes.
“If I finalize this deal, I’m going to take a holiday. We’ll go to the Bahamas like we discussed. Two weeks, just the three of us, no work and no emails,” I said.
Tessa was standing at her vanity mirror, putting on light make up.
“What about my work? I don’t think I can just take two weeks off. I have a few important campaigns coming up,” she said.
“You forget who the boss is, around here,” I said with a smile and she rolled her eyes in the mirror.
“No favoritism, remember?” She reminded me and I shook my head indulgently. How could I not favor her? This beautiful Goddess who had agreed to share her life with me? I was grateful every day that we’d met. That she had fallen in love with me. That ultimately, there was one thing that Gordon had done right—introduced me to the woman of my dreams.