“Got it,” he said, taking a step back. “As usual, you’re just going to pretend everything is status quo. Is that it? Ignore the problems and they’ll go away.” He stepped back from the car and closed the door. Through the window, he said, “For the record, that never works. You can’t ignore it away. You should know that by now.”
“I know what I want, and it’s not you.” She clicked the lock button. OK, that was a little dramatic, but doggone it, I wish locking you out of my business was that easy.
In the red glow of her taillights, Connor stood there shaking his head.
Icy panic twisted around her heart as she realized she couldn’t tear her eyes from the rearview mirror and the lost look on his face.
Why did I lie to you?
Back at their building, she stomped up the stairs and slammed the door behind her. Connor hadn’t been far behind her, although his entrance wasn’t nearly as loud as hers had been.
She hadn’t even bothered to turn on the lights. She sat on the couch and cried. She cried so much she didn’t know how there could possibly be another tear in her body. Connor was snoring already. Must be nice to be able to sleep. She grabbed her keys from the top of her purse and headed down the stairwell with no regard to being quiet, since it was quite clear that Connor was sleeping like a log splitter.
The air smelled fresh, and thousands of stars sparkled across the clear night sky. She’d make a wish on one of them if she knew what the heck to wish for. How about wishing I could forget that kiss? She visualized the worry of what that kiss meant falling into the gutter, then slowed as she turned down Laurel Road. She’d grown up in the neighborhood that backed up to Main Street. When she was a kid, it was filled with so many families you could round up enough kids for a game of kickball just about any day of the week. Now it was a mix of more seniors than young families.
The sidewalk only stretched as far as the back end of the Main Street block, so she found a comfortable pace along the paved road. Fireflies lit the dense lines of red-tip shrubs that separated many of the properties. Childhood memories of the kids gathering at dusk to hunt down lightning bugs and trap them in clear jelly jars with the tops punctured by one of the dads filled her mind. It was a united effort until dark, when the kids divided into two camps. Jewelry and war paint. Most of the girls were in the jewelry camp, plucking the shining lights from the bugs to pretend they were diamonds. But she’d always ended up with the boys choosing to use the fluorescence as war paint, like the Indians who had settled in these parts so many years ago.
Not one car had passed by since she’d been out. If New York was the city that never slept, Adams Grove was the town where everyone hugged a pillow at the same time every night.
She turned right at the next block. Dad lived on this block now. Not in the house she’d grown up in, which was two blocks over, but in one of the smaller homes. The lights were on in his kitchen. She knew this not because she knew the layout of his particular house so well, but because there were only so many floor plans in the neighborhood. If you knew one, you kind of knew them all.
She touched the necklace at her throat and considered stopping in to see him.
Connor’s words echoed in the quiet. One of you is going to have to make a move someday.
Dad made the first move. It’s my turn. But her heart galloped at the thought, leaving her feeling a little dizzy. She’d protected herself from being hurt by keeping that distance between them. She felt dangerously close to a point of no return.
Watching Connor mourn the loss of his mother had been heartrending, and she still missed her own mother every single day. Now, in her thirties, maybe it was time to put the past behind her and find a peaceful existence with Dad, even if it did scare her half to death. Yesterday had been a good step in the right direction. I hope it gets easier.
His old Pontiac sat parked in the driveway. She stopped just behind it and stood there wrestling with herself over whether or not to approach him. Just say hello. How hard can that be? Squeezing her keys in the palm of her sweating hand, she took a steadying breath and headed toward the door.
As she stepped from the driveway to the sidewalk, the front porch light flipped on. Without an extra second to consider it, she leaped behind the tall spruce tree at the corner of the house. Maybe it was a motion sensor. She leaned against the brick, holding her breath. The rough brick picked at her shirt. If she’d thought explaining the visit was going to be difficult, how the heck was she going to explain hiding in the flower bed?
She pressed her fingers against her lips. This is your fault, Connor. If you hadn’t kissed me, I wouldn’t be all screwed up tonight, and I wouldn’t be right here, right now.
Footsteps padded quickly down the sidewalk. Carolanne squeezed her eyes shut and slowly sank to the ground, praying she’d still be concealed when the headlights came on.
She held her breath, waiting for the engine to turn over, but it didn’t.
The sound of a woman’s voice surprised her. She could barely make out the words, but it was definitely not Dad’s voice.
The spruce was itchy against her skin. The thought of spiders and bugs crawling around just added insult to the predicament she’d gotten herself in, but there was no backing out of this plan now. Her breathing sounded so loud that she tried to hold her breath to stay hidden.
Carolanne heard a snippet of the conversation.
“I love you, too, Joey. Ben’s been so nice to let me stay here. I never thought that I’d find so many answers right here in Adams Grove. Thank God I stopped here first. Soon. I hope. No. Don’t call me back on this number, this is his phone.”
She’s using Dad’s phone? None of it made sense, and who would be staying with him? She slowly leaned out to brave a peek. She leaned out carefully, and then she recognized why that voice had sounded vaguely familiar. It was Gina—the girl from the library.
Carolanne’s composure was under attack. If Gina knew her father, surely she had to have known she was his daughter, and she hadn’t said a word. The sound of the engine turning over sent Carolanne lunging back for cover just as the car eased out of the driveway.
The headlights swept across the front of the house as Gina turned onto the street and then disappeared down the road.
Carolanne stood from the cramped spot in the flower bed. Should she go to the door and demand answers? He’d just want to know what she was doing in his yard to begin with. Was it even any of her business? She’d practically written him off over the years. Did she even have a right to know, and if not, why the heck did it bother her so much?
With more questions than answers, Carolanne walked down the street.
Why would Gina be staying with my father?
A pang of jealousy turned her walk into a jog all the way back home. She pictured Gina at her dad’s house, and that made her feel something unfamiliar. Not jealousy, but a terrible sense of bitterness that she wasn’t proud of. She’d held that wedge tightly in place between her dad and herself over the years, and now someone else had swept right in and taken her place.
She didn’t slow down until she approached the alley behind the office. She climbed the back stairs to her apartment, still winded, wondering if the creaking stairs or her breath was louder. Proof she wouldn’t like running.
A roaring snore came from Connor’s apartment. Carolanne gave up the attempt to be quiet and zipped down the hall, retreating to the safety of her apartment.
Chapter Ten
It was eight o’clock on the dot the morning of the wedding when Carolanne swung open her apartment door to greet Jill. “Good morning, Mrs. Clemmons-almost-Malloy.”
“Thank you, most amazing maid of honor ever,” Jill said as she came into the apartment.
“Why didn’t I ever think to ask you if you were hyphenating or keeping your name?”
“Don’t know, but I’m not doing either. I’ll be a Malloy.”
“Going completely traditional right down to the name. I don’t know why I�
��m surprised. There’s no way I’d ever do that.”
“I knew that would make you cringe, but then, you say you’ll never get married, either. So who knows?” Jill hugged Carolanne, then squealed with laughter laced with what sounded like a little hysteria. “It’s my wedding day! Finally! I was so calm at dinner last night, but then I didn’t sleep a wink.”
Me neither, and I can’t wait to talk to you about all that’s going on once we get through this wedding. “Come on in. What’s the matter? Nervous?” Carolanne caught the look on Jill’s face. “Are you OK? You don’t look like a girl who’s ready to marry the man of her dreams.”
“Just wishing Pearl were here.” She walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. “The what-ifs are killing me today. If only I’d followed this path two years ago, Pearl would’ve been here for the wedding. She’d have probably been a great-grandma by now. You know she’d have loved that.”
Carolanne sat next to Jill on the couch. “She was so great to both us, and I wasn’t even family.”
“You are, too, family.” She reached over and squeezed Carolanne’s hand. “Better than family.” Jill swept at a tear. “I’m crazy emotional this morning.”
“I think that’s normal.”
“I’m getting married—not pregnant.”
“It’s kind of the same thing. Both are a huge commitment and change your life.” Carolanne took another sip of coffee, wondering how she’d feel if she were getting married today. She’d probably be a hot mess, dry heaving, or maybe worse, a runaway bride. Just the thought of that depth of love scared her so much that she suddenly felt anxious to get out of the apartment and away from those thoughts.
Carolanne glanced up at the clock. “I have an idea. We have plenty of time. Want to head over to the cemetery for a quick visit with Pearl? There’s no rule about us going early.”
“Except that Izzy is supposed to pick us up here in a couple hours and take us to the church.” She pulled her lips into a line. “We could be back by then, though. She’s the one thing missing from this day. Thanks, you always have the best solutions.”
“I live to bring you direction.” Only, this time I need the escape, too.
Both girls grabbed their purses and clomped down the stairs.
“I’ll drive,” Jill said, leading the way out the front doors to her car. Other than the diner, Main Street was just starting to get moving this Saturday morning.
Jill gestured toward the sidewalk. “Pearl would love what they’ve done with the planters this year. The flower boxes look so pretty with the ivy, geraniums, and begonias. I don’t think they’ve ever looked lovelier.”
She wondered if Jill knew that her dad was responsible for their care. Probably. Funny no one had thought to mention it to her before. But then, she hadn’t made herself too open to those conversations. She regretted the hard line she’d carried for so long. The whole town had probably been talking about her. The unforgiving daughter.
Carolanne’s thoughts shifted to the begonias Connor had stolen. She found herself smiling at the memory and then pushed the memory aside. Why do you keep invading my thoughts?
Jill sped through town, like she always did, then turned onto Horseshoe Run Road, taking the curves a little too fast, like locals were known to do. She didn’t slow down until she turned onto the gravel path that led to the church cemetery. She pulled the keys from the ignition and jumped out of the car, leading the way.
“Look. Teddy must’ve done that.” Jill pointed to Pearl’s headstone. “They match the flowers I’m carrying in my bouquet. That guy thinks of everything.”
“You don’t get that kind of personalized service in the city.” Carolanne’s focus shifted to about seven rows closer to the church. There was never one time that she’d visited her mom’s gravesite that there hadn’t been fresh flowers. From here, she could see the arrangement sitting astride the headstone, rising to the heavens. She didn’t have to go over there to know what Dad would have made sure Teddy put in that arrangement. Alstroemeria. Not just any alstroemeria—or “I’ll-still-marry-ya,” as Dad would say—but the orangey-yellow ones. Mom’s favorite.
Carolanne could picture Dad handing bouquets of the orange flowers to Mom, sometimes for no reason at all. Time after time, he’d say the same thing: “The perfect flower, for the perfect lady. That’s why they named it ‘I’ll-still-marry-ya’—and I would.”
He really was romantic. The things he’d do, say, for Mom. She hadn’t thought about that in so long. Too long. A random breeze swept around her like a hug.
Carolanne walked over to where Jill stood. The fragrant flowers sweetened the air. Jill ran a finger across the carved rose in the granite. Around the rose were tiny raised circles meant to look like pearls—eighty-four of them, one for each year of Pearl’s life.
A twig snapped nearby.
Carolanne and Jill both looked up as Garrett approached.
Jill jumped to her feet. “What are you doing here?”
“Same thing you are. I was feeling nostalgic and knew you would be, too.”
Carolanne leapt in front of Jill, spreading her arms as if to block his view. “It’s bad luck for you to see the bride.”
Garrett shot her one of those Are you crazy? looks. “I thought that was just if she was in her wedding gown.”
“Is that right?” Carolanne glanced over at Jill, who nodded. “I don’t know. Who makes up all those rules? Who can keep them all straight? Do you want to take the chance?”
“I’m not afraid.” Garrett reached a hand toward Jill and tugged her out from behind Carolanne’s protection, and pulled her into his arms. “Bad luck couldn’t ruin what we have. Pearl would never let that happen.” He kissed Jill softly. “And I’d never let that happen. I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
“I love you, Garrett.” She kissed him once slowly and then two quick pecks.
Carolanne tried not to remark, but she couldn’t hold it in. “Well, isn’t that the cutest little kiss dance?”
“It’s our tradition.” Jill gave Carolanne the stink-eye. “Three kisses—one for the past, one for the present, and one for all the tomorrows to come.”
“I might go into a diabetic coma with all the sugar y’all are pouring on.” Carolanne stepped out of their romantic moment.
Garrett handed Jill the paper bag of flowers he’d been carrying. “For you. We’ll be back in a minute, Carolanne.”
“Take your time.” Carolanne laid a hand on Pearl’s headstone as Jill and Garrett walked away. “Pearl, you were so right about them. They are perfect.” A ray of sunshine shifted through the trees. Carolanne mulled over the message Pearl had left for her about Connor. It had seemed so random at the time. But then, a year ago, Jill would’ve said the same thing about ending up with Garrett.
Carolanne closed her eyes and tried to picture a life with Connor outside of the office. It came easy, almost too easy, and that scared her a little—no, a lot.
Jill laid her hands on Carolanne’s shoulders. “You ready?”
Carolanne jumped. “You scared me. I didn’t hear you. I’m ready whenever you are.” She stood to leave. “Are you OK?”
“I’m great. The luckiest girl in the whole world.”
Carolanne wished she felt that lucky.
Connor took the stairs two at a time on his way out for his morning jog, passing Carolanne and Jill as they walked into the building.
“Good morning,” they said in chorus.
“Ready for the big day?”
“You bet,” Jill said.
“See you two at the church later. I’ll be the one keeping the groom from escaping your evil clutches.”
“Real funny,” Jill called after him. “I’m not the least bit worried about him running off.”
“You don’t have to be. I’ve got your back,” Connor shouted from the bottom of the stairs, then bolted out the door.
Running through this neighborhood was Connor’s favorite weekend route. The
smell of home-cooked breakfasts of bacon and sausage wafted from the homes. He liked the feeling of family that he still got here, even if it were his imagination creating the perfect scenarios within the old homes so carefully maintained in Adams Grove.
Connor kept up his pace until he turned the corner and saw Ben standing in his yard in front of his car with the hood up. He slowed to a walk to catch his breath, then turned up the driveway.
Ben leaned out from behind the hood and greeted him.
“Car trouble or maintenance?”
“Won’t start. I think the battery finally died. Won’t even make a click. No big deal, except for the timing. You know, with the wedding today and all.”
Connor nodded. “If you don’t mind going a little early, you can catch a ride with me to the wedding. I’m meeting Garrett at the church. I’m on my own, so there’s plenty of room.”
Ben reached up and slammed the hood. “I already called AAA. They’ll be here shortly. Hopefully, she just needs a quick jump.”
“Don’t we all now and then?”
“You know that’s right,” Ben said.
“Speaking of getting jumped, did you know Mac had a girlfriend?”
“Hadn’t heard about that. Good for him.”
“Yeah. Maybe,” Connor said. “I just thought it was kind of weird no one knew anything about it.”
Ben’s left eyebrow rose a fraction. “Well, I did hear the ladies at the Seniors Circle talking about Mac being taken advantage of by some younger woman. They didn’t call her a girlfriend, but I imagine that might be who they were talking about.”
That’s more like it. Nothing is ever that quiet in this town. You just have to ask the right questions of the right people. “Her name is Anita. I met her the other day. What’d they have to say?”
“One of them said that she’d talked him into letting her use that building on Main Street for free so she could start a health club or something. Another said that the woman had outlived a couple husbands already and that she’d probably give Mac a heart attack in less than ninety days.”
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