by Isabel Morin
She tried to imagine how it felt to be up there, looking out at a room full of people you held in thrall. Judging from his face, it was a powerful thing. He looked lit up, like the force of the audience’s love was powering him now.
They left the stage for intermission and she was swarmed by people. The t-shirts sold like crazy and she discovered in the process that there were shirts emblazoned with the album cover instead of Jesse’s face. Thank goodness. She’d be wearing that one from now on. She also sold a bunch of CDs and a good number of stickers and got nearly everyone to sign up for the mailing list.
Jesse played a few more ballads in the second set, but otherwise the songs were either a rollicking blend of country and rock or driving, hard-bitten songs that Jesse sang with a fierce energy that came close to fury without ever quite going over. The other guys were good musicians, but Jesse was the star, no question.
They left the stage to a deafening roar that continued until they came back for an encore. When it was over Beth felt strangely wrung out, like she’d been the one up there on stage, playing her heart out.
She spent the next half hour selling to fans who looked as exhausted and radiant as she felt. The air conditioning had long since stopped cooling the room and she was sweating like crazy as people made purchases. Gradually the rush slowed to a trickle and then it was over, the doors closing to the public. She counted up the money, thrilled with how much better they’d done than she’d expected. Then she remembered she had to give the club thirty percent. Funny how the band’s success already felt like her own.
“How’d we do?” Stu asked, peering down at the inventory sheet where she’d recorded the sale of each item.
“I have nothing to compare it too, but it was pretty busy,” she said, stretching out her back. “We made over three thousand dollars.”
“Not bad,” he said. “Pete never managed to make the right change, so it was always off.” He looked around, then back at her, his expression weary but seemingly pleased. “Go ahead and give Steve the club’s cut and we’ll get this stuff loaded.”
The band had taken their gear away while she was making sales so there was nothing left on stage but wires and a couple microphone stands. She gave the envelope to Steve and then together she and Stu hauled the boxes into her car.
“Things are picking up,” Stu said, shoving the last box into her wagon. “We’ll need to get more shirts and CDs or we’ll run out by Portland. I’ll give you the ordering information tomorrow.”
“I had no idea they were going to sound so good. I mean, I just wanted the job so I wasn’t really thinking about that part of it, but he could really go places, couldn’t he?”
“You bet your ass he could, and he will. That’s what this is all about.” He leaned against the car, looking thoughtful. “What you’re feeling now is pretty much what I felt the first time I saw Jesse playing in a dive bar outside Houston. He was living in his car and playing every chance he could. I offered to manage him then and there. That was six years ago and we’ve been working our tails off to make it happen for him. He’s got a good following now, but he’s about to tip over into something bigger.”
“Well, I’ll do what I can to help,” Beth said. She slammed the hatch closed and they headed back into the club. She could hear music coming from the room where they’d hung out before the show.
Beth followed Stu toward the party, wondering what happened next. Did she wait around and drive people home, or was it every man for himself now?
Stu headed straight for the cooler but Beth stood inside the door trying to take it all in. There were probably fifty people – staff from the club plus everyone connected to the two bands, and a lot of women. The two women she’d heard early in the night were there, and the one who’d been determined to get in was already talking to Jesse. He was talking to a couple other guys but one arm was draped across her shoulders and every so often he looked at her and smiled. Even from where Beth stood fifteen feet away she could see the promise it held.
It wasn’t any of her business, but somehow it bummed her out anyway. Please, don’t make me drive them to the hotel.
She grabbed herself a beer and took a sip, surveying the room. Stu looked deep in conversation with a guy from the other band and she was trying to decide whether she should intrude on their conversation when Will came up to her.
“Hey there. I was wondering where you were.”
“I was just packing everything up. If merchandise sales are anything to go by, you guys were a big hit.”
“Yeah, it was a good night. The whole tour’s been good, but we’ve been picking up steam the last few weeks.”
“Do you tour a lot?” she asked.
“Now and then, but this is the most successful one I’ve been on. I just moved to Austin this past year, so I don’t know everyone on the scene yet, but I met Stu my first week in town when I sat in on a recording session for an album he was producing.”
“Huh. I didn’t know he did that,” she said, intrigued.
“Sure, that’s his bread and butter. Jesse’s the only musician he actually manages. He’s kind of a legend in Austin.”
Brian wandered over looking serene as ever. He didn’t say anything, just listened.
“It was so different seeing you guys in person,” Beth said, leaning toward them as the volume in the room increased. “I watched a couple videos of Jesse right after I took the job, just so I knew what I was dealing with, but tonight’s show blew my mind. I had no idea what to expect, but Jesse had us all eating out of the palm of his hand.”
Evidently that was the wrong thing to say.
Will’s smile fell away and his expression hardened, a muscle twitching in his jaw. “Yeah, Jesse seems to have that effect on people.”
“You guys sounded great. Really tight,” she went on, unnerved by his abrupt change in mood.
“Yeah, well, no one really cares what we do. We’re just here to make Jesse look good,” he said, swigging the rest of his beer. “You want another one?”
“Sure, that would be great,” she said, just to get a breather from him.
She watched Will weave his way across the room and wondered what his deal was. Professional jealousy, or was it more personal?
“That went well,” she muttered. She looked at Brian. “You don’t say much, do you?”
Brian shrugged a shoulder. “Not unless I need to.”
She was starting to think that might not be a bad policy, especially around Will. She was mulling this over when Jesse caught her eye across the room. He leaned down and said something to the girl under his arm before heading toward Beth.
Brian drifted away without another word.
“So what did you think? Can you stand another month of listening to us?” Jesse asked, grinning playfully.
“You know you sounded great.”
He looked serious all of a sudden. “Knowing and believing are two different things. As strange as it may seem, I occasionally need some reassurance.”
“Don’t all the screaming fans count?”
“They certainly help, but unfortunately I have a bottomless need for it.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Goes with the territory. Plus we need to kick ass through California. I’ve put a lot of time in touring here, even before I hooked up with Stu. We need to make this count.”
“What else are you guys doing to spread the word?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You know. Are you tweeting from the road, keeping your Facebook page updated, that sort of thing.”
He made a face. “Hell, no. I can’t stand that stuff. Neither can the other guys, and Stu doesn’t know shit about it.”
“Seriously? You don’t do anything?”
“I’ve been touring non-stop for the last ten years of my life. That’s how we’re getting the word out,” he said, clearly defensive. “That’s how it’s always been done.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, wondering whether there was any point in
arguing with him. But his jaw was set and he was clearly annoyed. No, no point. Besides, if he hated doing it, it wouldn’t go over well.
“Then I’ll do it, she said. “I’ll set up a Facebook page and a Twitter account for the band.”
“What part of–”
“I’ll do it all,” she said. “Just leave it to me.”
“What happens when you leave and we don’t have anyone else to do it?”
“Good question. I have no idea, but we’ll come up with something. The important thing is to make the most of your tour now. You need to get the reviews and interviews out there.”
He was looking at her with extreme skepticism.
“Trust me. It’ll be good.”
“Fine. Knock yourself out.”
She smiled, pleased she’d found something she could contribute, something no one else was doing.
His eyes flicked downward, then back to her face. His voice was low when he spoke again, and he leaned in closer. “You can worry about Twitter. I’ll monitor how sweaty you get. If the t-shirt is sticking to you by the end of the night, I’ll know we’ve rocked.”
She sucked in her breath and took a step back, feeling her face flush. She opened her mouth to make an angry retort, then stopped at the look in his eye. He wasn’t mocking her, he was…smoldering at her.
She was still trying to think what to say when fan girl came over, her expression a mixture of uncertainty and determination.
“Hey, Jesse.”
“Oh, hey,” he said, looking down at her and back at Beth.
He hesitated, as if torn, but Beth just smiled at both of them and excused herself. Not in this life would she be vying for Jesse’s attention.
Will came back with her beer, but luckily for her he was dragged away by a friend. She felt a bit looser after her second beer, loose enough to let Steve flirt with her while he told her about the music scene in California. She picked his brain about what other bands were doing promotion-wise and got some good ideas for things she could do for Jesse.
Around two o’clock the alcohol was nearly gone and the party started to die out. Brian sat on the couch alone, a half-filled cup of beer resting on his leg. His eyes drifted shut and then popped open like a little kid trying to stay awake at his parents’ party.
Looking around she spotted Matt strumming his guitar in a corner while talking to a couple of guys from Chain Gang. Will was leaning against a wall with a tiny woman who appeared to be hanging on his every word.
“Hey, Stu,” she said, catching the manager between conversations. “Do you need me for anything, or can I head back?”
“Yeah, go ahead and take off. Take Brian while you’re at it.”
Relief flooded her that she wasn’t going to have to approach Jesse or Will. Brian’s eyes flickered to life when she told him she was heading to the hotel. They drove the ten minutes to the hotel without speaking, the radio playing softly in the air between them.
By the time she pulled into the hotel Brian’s head was canted to the side and he was snoring. She cut the engine and gently shook his shoulder. Finally he opened his eyes and sighed, and the two of them got out and headed into the hotel lobby, parting ways as they walked in opposite directions down the hallway.
“Sleep tight,” he called, disappearing around the corner.
It was such a homey thing to say that she smiled to herself all the way back to her room. She showered quickly and fell into bed, her brain spinning with the stimuli of the whole night – the weird thrill of confronting Matt, of being in the middle of all that energy. Jesse defending her. Jesse on stage, bringing out something in her she hadn’t expected him to reach.
She woke up the next morning from a dream about Jeff, but instead of the sense of betrayal and wasted time she usually felt after dreaming of him, she thought about the day ahead and hopped out of bed, too excited to sit still.
They weren’t leaving for Santa Cruz until one o’clock, and Stu had secured late check-outs for all of them, which meant she had time to get started on the finances. She made herself a cup of coffee from the pot in the room, and opened her laptop. She checked her email and found Stu had been as good as his word. At three-thirty this morning he’d emailed her everything she’d asked for.
An hour later it felt like she was starting to get somewhere. Stu had been keeping track of expenses in a word document, which was cumbersome but at least reasonably clear. He seemed to be accurate as far as the figures went, but there were better tools available to him. Which was why she laboriously entered all the information into spreadsheets that would do all the work for them once they were set up.
She’d been at it for two hours when she realized she was lightheaded with hunger. Pulling on a pair of shorts and a tank top, she slipped her feet into flip flops and headed for the Dunkin’ Donuts next door.
She was just placing her order when she heard a familiar voice behind her. Turning around, she saw Jesse standing at the back of the line with the girl from the night before. They stood next to each other without touching, but the girl kept glancing up at him when he wasn’t looking.
Beth grabbed her coffee and the bag containing her egg sandwich and headed toward the door, pasting a pleasantly surprised look on her face when Jesse spotted her.
His smile wasn’t forced. It bloomed naturally, as if he were delighted to see her. “Hey. You’re up early.”
She looked at her watch and saw it was after noon already. “Maybe in rock star time,” she said, raising an eyebrow at him.
He just smirked back at her. “You remember Trish.”
“Yes, nice to see you again,” Beth said, smiling at her.
Trish gave her a wary smile and leaned toward Jesse. She had on make-up, though less than the night before, and last night’s skimpy clothes. She looked vulnerable in the bright light of day, but maybe that was just Beth projecting. She’d never been a Trish, never slept with a guy she didn’t know. How did it feel the next morning? You’d been as intimate as two people could be, but now it was over and you’d probably never see each other again. She couldn’t imagine it, but maybe there was something to not letting sex be such a big deal.
As she walked back to the hotel she couldn’t help wondering what that would be like. Was it everything Trish had hoped and expected? Was anything as good as you expected it to be? Jesse was just a guy, after all. But maybe Trish didn’t care about any of that.
It must be nice to live in the moment without trying to account for everything. Unfortunately, she’d probably never know what that was like.
Chapter Four
Jesse entered the lobby to find Beth and Stu sitting side by side on the sagging couch, their heads together as they looked at the computer on Beth’s lap.
“So it’s all here,” she was saying. “We still need to save receipts, but this way it’s all tracked for us. It’s made for small business owners, not professional accountants, so it’s pretty intuitive. I saved it as a Google doc and shared it with you, so we both have access to it.”
Stu grunted and folded his arms across his chest. “This’ll be good.”
Beth seemed to realize this was high praise coming from Stu. She lit up, her smile bringing a weird ache to Jesse’s chest. She’d only worked for them for two days. How could she care so much already?
She was so engrossed she still hadn’t noticed him.
“I’ll get those press kits put together before the show tonight so I can mail them tomorrow,” she continued. “After that I’ll get to work on the social media sites.”
“Better be careful, Stu,” Jesse said, finally making himself known. He was unaccountably annoyed that she could remain oblivious to his presence for so long. “If she’s too good we might not need you anymore.”
It was one of his jokes that when he got Jesus Christ famous he’d drop Stu and hire someone new and shiny, but they both knew that would never happen. Six years ago Stu had wandered into the dingy bar he was playing and seen something in him. He’d
dedicated himself to Jesse’s career ever since, and that was that. Jesse would fire every member of the band ten times over before parting ways with Stu. When you found someone who believed in you like he did, there was no turning your back on him.
Beth shut down the computer and stowed it in its case. “I guess we’d better get going,” she said, slinging it over her shoulder, then bending down to grab her other two bags.
He grabbed her suitcase along with his guitar and duffel bag and headed for the door.
“What are you…?” she started, giving up as he left the lobby and made for her car.
He was usually later than everyone else when it was time to leave town, but he’d made sure to show up earlier than usual. He wasn’t letting anyone else ride with Beth. Pretty soon everyone would understand the rule and wouldn’t even try.
As soon as she unlocked her car he tossed his stuff in the back and leaned against the car, effectively staking his claim.
“Not sick of my company yet, huh?” she asked, a little smile curling the corners of her mouth.
She seemed amused, but perplexed, too, like she couldn’t imagine why he’d want to spend the four-hour drive to Santa Cruz with her. For a woman as pretty as she was, it was bizarre how unaware she was. But then, that was part of what he dug about her, too.
Beth left to get coffees and he watched her go before finally turning away. Brian and Matt staggered out a minute later followed by Will, who scowled for no apparent reason and climbed into the van without saying a word to anyone. But that was par for the course with him.
By the time Beth got back they were all ready to go. She passed out coffees to everyone and then headed for the driver’s side door.
“I can drive,” he said, holding his hand out for the keys. “It’s only fair.”
She hesitated and bit her luscious lower lip.
“I swear on my momma’s grave I’ll drive within ten miles of the speed limit and I’ll use the turn signal even if there are no other cars around.”