“You want me to work for the FBI after I killed one of your own men who turned out to be a serial killer?” The weight of Kate’s attention squeezed the air in his lungs. This was what he’d worked so hard for over the past year. Finding his place, getting his life back. Remembering who he’d been. Hunting the most violent criminals had been part of him for so long, the idea of settling back into that role bled excitement down his spine.
“You were the only one who suspected Ryan Dominic for what he really was back then. You know the monsters are real, and you’re not afraid to face them, Monroe. Only this way, you get to do your job legally.” Haynes handed him a card, flashed his straight, white teeth and backed away toward a waiting SUV. “I’ll try not to partner you with a serial killer this time. See you in Washington, DC, within the week.”
Declan stared at Haynes’s name on the small piece of embossed cardstock but couldn’t absorb the letters on the card.
“Looks like you got everything you’ve worked for.” Kate still sat at the ambulance, arms folded across her chest. The rope burns had been treated and dressed, but the fact they’d needed treatment at all resurrected the rage for the son of a bitch currently being wheeled out on a stretcher in a body bag from the cabin. “Your memories, your old job. This is great. I’m happy for you.”
Not everything. Not yet. Curling his fingers around the card, Declan ignored the chill of the dropping temperatures as her light vanilla scent filled his system. Just one inhale and the fiery burn of revenge ebbed. Would she always have that effect on him or had exhaustion finally caught up? They’d been running off fumes for so long, his body had gotten used to the high doses of adrenaline. But now... Now he wanted nothing more than to take her back to her apartment and sink into bed for the next several weeks. Taking her hand with his, he ran the pad of his thumb over her bandages. “Do they hurt?”
“Not as bad as it looks.” She wouldn’t have admitted to the pain either way. Always determined to stand strong, always in control. But Declan knew the truth. Despite her hardened exterior and attempt to bury her emotions, in reality, Kate felt entirely too much. “How’s your side?” she asked.
“Medium rare.” In truth, he didn’t know how the wound had fared during his fight with Dominic. He’d refused treatment until Kate had been checked over first, and his stitches ached with awareness. The bastard had tried to execute him, but more important, Declan had almost lost her. Again. He’d failed to protect her from the Hunter, and he’d have to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life, but knowing he was the reason she might walk away now... He couldn’t handle that.
“Kate, I’m sorry I lied to you. I didn’t want this to end. I didn’t want to lose you. I didn’t want...” he had to be honest with himself “...to be alone again.”
The rawness of that admission broke through in his voice.
She nodded, gaze focused on a point over his shoulder. “You know, my team has been through a lot over the last year. Elliot’s been shot twice, Sullivan almost died from his injuries and had to be airlifted to the hospital, Anthony’s son was kidnapped and Elizabeth was abducted when she was four months pregnant with Karina.”
She rolled her lips between her teeth as patrol lights reflected off the thin line of water in her eyes. “But no matter what’s been thrown at us, we’ve survived, and we come out on top the next day. Because we trust each other, we rely on one another. Even at this very moment, my team is standing over there waiting to help me with whatever I need from them. There aren’t any secrets between us. We all know and have experience with secrets putting lives at risk. I can trust them.”
His gut clenched as she turned those green eyes on him, and everything inside of him went cold. This wasn’t the woman he’d built the snow fort for, the one he’d taken to bed, the one who’d given him a reason to keep going. No. That woman had a warmth to her gaze. The woman standing in front of him had closed herself off and retreated to the point he wasn’t sure he’d ever see that warmth again.
“So we go back to the way it was before? We—” He curled his fingers into his palms, forced himself to breathe through the next words. “We move on.”
“That was the plan, wasn’t it?” she said. “We’d finish the investigation and continue on like nothing had ever happened.” She lifted her chin. “You saved my life—more times than I can count now—and I’ll always be thankful for that, but we were partners, Declan. Partners are supposed to trust each other. There shouldn’t have been any secrets between us, and I don’t think you can promise me there won’t be more in the future.”
Declan opened his mouth to answer, but no. He couldn’t promise her that.
She wiped her hand beneath her nose as she sniffled.
“I thought Ryan Dominic was my friend. Turned out he was a serial killer. I hope you understand that I can’t handle any more secrets.” Her uninjured shoulder rose on a shrug, the corner of her mouth lifting on one side. Uncrossing her arms, she stepped close to him and placed one hand on his chest, right over his heart.
She lowered that beautiful gaze to his hand and extracted the business card Haynes had left with him. Studying it for a brief moment, she slid it into his pants pocket. “Go get your life back, Declan. You deserve to be happy.”
Her fingers feathered over his arm as she stepped around him, her soft vanilla scent still on the air, in his system, becoming part of him. But she’d always been part of him, hadn’t she? That wouldn’t change. No matter how much distance she put between them.
“Kate.” He spun around, his breath icy on the air. “We’ll always be unfinished business. Remember that.”
Another half smile thinned her lips. “Not this time, Special Agent Monroe.”
And then she was gone.
Chapter Fifteen
Six weeks later
She rubbed at the dry skin around her wrists. The Hunter had left his mark. On her body, in her nightmares. Kate stuffed another handful of debris into a large black garbage bag. How many did that make? Sixteen? Seventeen bags?
With the connection between Brian Michaels and Special Agent Ryan Dominic established, the FBI had taken everything they needed to wrap up their investigation, but she still hadn’t been able to salvage anything from the house she once considered home. Not even the couch’s decorative pillows had survived.
She shoved a featherless pillow into the bag with a little more force than needed, swallowing back the sudden dryness in her throat. It was going to take a lot more than a few garbage bags to get this place ready to sell. She took a deep breath.
Broken glass crunched under her boots as she straightened. A small sting of pain lanced through her shoulder, but the hole from the Hunter’s arrow was almost completely healed. Swiping the back of her hand across her forehead, she inhaled deep to clear a rush of dizziness. Exhaustion pulled at her, and bile worked up her throat. Nightmares and heartburn. Great.
She stared out over the remnants of the living room. Not a single piece of furniture, item of clothing or dinner plate had survived both shootings. Insurance would cover the majority of the damage, but this was the second time she’d have to explain why her house had become a crime scene. What a mess—
“Kate,” a familiar voice said.
The hairs on the back of her neck rose. Heat flooded her, and she exhaled hard to keep the burn under control. The hits kept on coming. She stuffed another handful of garbage into the sack but didn’t turn around. No point. He wasn’t staying long. “I figured you’d be across the country by now, assigned to another case.”
“I turned down the FBI job.” His deep, reserved voice resonated through her, sending a bolt of electricity up her spine. The shifting of broken glass and debris sounded loud in her ears—too loud—as he closed in on her.
“Oh?” The weight of his attention burned between her shoulder blades, but she couldn’t face him. The moment she gave in to the
urge to lock her gaze on his, the heartache she’d buried over the last month and a half would take control. No. She was just starting to heal. She couldn’t do this again—wouldn’t.
Crossing to the other side of the room, Kate scooped the remaining items off her desk into the bag. Broken perfume bottles from his travels all over the world, fractured picture frames holding evidence of the life they once shared. She didn’t want any of it. Not anymore. “I thought getting your life back was what you wanted. Going back to the FBI was supposed to help with that.”
“It was.” Whispers of his exhale tickled over her heated skin. She hadn’t heard him move so close. Her body flooded with awareness as his clean, masculine scent worked deep into her lungs. “Until I realized taking that job would mean keeping more secrets from you. And that’s the last thing I want.”
Air caught in her throat. He’d turned down the job for her? She sagged against the desk, her fingers gripping the edge for support.
“Kate.” Declan’s fingers fanned over her arm—too familiar, too comforting—and she wanted nothing but to sway into his warmth, trust him, rely on him as she got rid of the evidence of their marriage. But she couldn’t. “Look at me.”
Her heartbeat thundered behind her ears. Hard to breathe with him so close. His scent filled the space he’d cornered her in, and she couldn’t get it out of her system. In all honesty, she hadn’t been able to get him out of her system. Not since she’d walked away from him back at the crime scene. It had taken every ounce of energy to keep her distance, to force herself to focus on the next case for Blackhawk, not to wonder if he was safe. If he was alive.
“You’re my life, angel. Not getting the rest of my memories back, not some job for the federal government or hunting monsters.” His hands circled her waist, pulling her against him. His back pressed against her spine, the even beat of his heart pulsing into her.
She should fight back, but she was just...tired. And he felt so good. His mouth skimmed the shell of her ear. “I stayed away as long as I could to give you the space you wanted, but I choose you. I’m committed to you. No more secrets. No more lies.”
Liquid warmth pooled in her stomach and melted her from the inside. That was all she’d ever wanted. Honesty. Safety. Love.
Kate spun in his arms, locked her gaze on those piercing blue eyes. She loved him. More than she’d ever loved another human being. Not the husband she’d buried, not the man who’d saved her life during the investigation but the combination of both. Each had their own strengths, their own weaknesses, but together they formed the man she’d dreamed of spending the rest of her life with. Raising a family with. “What do you want me to say to that?”
“Say yes, Kate.” His short burst of laughter ruffled her ponytail. “Say you’ll give us a chance to get it right this time.”
She stepped out of his reach. Kate bit back the shock of seeing him for the first time in weeks. Dark circles had taken up residence under his eyes, but his blue gaze remained bright and focused on her. “No more secrets.”
“No more secrets. You have my word.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. He locked his fingers around her arms. He stepped in close, his heat tunneling through her thin tank top and deep into her still-sore muscles. “I’ll never hurt, betray or disappoint you ever again. I want us to last. No matter how hard things get, I have always and will always need you in my life. I’ll spend as long as it takes to prove you can trust me again.”
Sincerity deepened the lines carved into his forehead and at the bridge of his nose. He held her steady when all she wanted to do was collapse into him. He meant every word. His expression, his eyes, his hold on her, they all said he wanted this to work, and for the first time since he’d come back into her life, she believed him.
A weak smile curled one corner of her mouth, and she set her palms against his chest. “I haven’t slept since that night. I miss having you there in my bed when the nightmares...”
She closed her eyes.
“You don’t have to miss me anymore.” He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, urging her to look at him. “I’ll be there. Every night to soothe you back to sleep. Every morning to sprinkle cinnamon over your hot chocolate, even when I think you’re crazy for drinking it in the summer. I’ll be there to decorate the Christmas tree and build you a snow fort. I’ll do anything to have that chance again.”
“I live in an apartment. I don’t have a yard,” she said.
A genuine laugh rumbled through him, and oh, how she missed that sound. Missed him. His heart beat strong under her hands, constant, assuring. She focused on the highest mound of scar tissue beneath his T-shirt, the one identical to hers.
“You say all this now,” she said, “but I know you, Declan. Even with amnesia, you ran straight at the first monster until you brought him down. It’s in your blood. You might’ve turned down your dream job, but what if another violent criminal is running rampant in Anchorage? What then?”
“Whatever happens, we’ll survive, just like we have for the past year. Together.” He lifted his hand to her jaw, bringing her gaze up to meet his. A slow burn simmered in her veins at his touch, and it took everything inside of her not to melt against him. His voice dipped an octave as warmth swirled in his eyes. “I told you when Dominic thought he could take you from me—I’m not going anywhere.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes.” Declan dropped his hands to hers. “You and I can officially live out our lives without our house getting shot up.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice? Maybe then I’d stop getting nasty looks from the garbage man.” She surveyed the disaster zone that was supposed to be their living room. Focusing on Declan, she curled her fingers in his shirt collar. He’d saved her life, sacrificed his future for her, promised to be honest and open from now on. He deserved the truth, too.
“During our marriage, you dealt with such horrible things, I didn’t want to add to any of it. So I kept everything bottled up until it had nowhere else to go. I can’t do that again. No matter what happens, I promise to be honest with you, too.”
“Then we have a deal?” he asked. “We’ll both be honest with each other and try not to mess this up a second—no, wait—a third time?”
“On one condition.” He’d sacrificed so much for her already. She didn’t have the right to ask for anything more, but he didn’t have to give up his dream job. Not for her.
He lowered his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. He untangled his hands from hers, skimmed her lower back and pressed her closer as though he never intended to let her go. “As long as we’re together, I’m in.”
“Come work for Blackhawk Security,” she said. “With me.”
Declan pulled away, eyes on her. “What?”
“We made a good team when we worked the Hunter case together. I think we could do it again. Besides, you’re too good of an investigator to quit the serial killer business for good. This city needs you. Blackhawk could use another investigator now that we’re expanding.” She jerked him toward her. “And I need you close.”
“You’re serious.” Excitement brightened his features.
She ran a hand through his tousled brown hair. They’d survived bullet wounds, arrow wounds and had taken down one of Anchorage’s most violent serial killers. Together. She could only imagine the possibilities in their future. “I don’t want you to resent me down the road. You saved my life, and I know how much that job meant to you. The least I could do is return the favor.”
He crushed his lips to hers, penetrating the seam of her mouth with his tongue and thrusting inside. Planting a hand on the back of her head, he seemed intent on making them one. He spread hair-raising pleasure throughout her system. She’d missed his touch, his taste, his warmth. Missed him. He bowed her back into him, her hips level with his.
Her phone pinged from the
dresser, and she tore her mouth from his. A reminder. Was it time already? Reaching for her phone, she swiped the reminder off the screen before he had a chance to read it. Yep, right on time. “Besides, Blackhawk will need someone with your particular skill set in a few months when I put in my notice.”
She curled her fingers into fists. Why was she so nervous?
“What? It’s not the arrow wound, is it?” His hand slipped to her shoulder.
“No, it’s not the wound. My injury is healing fine. This is...something else.” Kate untangled herself from his arms. He had the right to know. Getting rid of him wasn’t going to be easy anyway. Not with that suspicious look on his face. She inhaled deep. “I’m pregnant.”
His bottom lip dropped, then his eyes crinkled at the edges. Tension spread from his shoulders down to his toes. A new kind of brightness engulfed his blue eyes. “What? How...how—”
“Are you asking me how we made a baby?” She couldn’t read past his shock. Was he excited? Terrified? Both? “Because that should’ve been something we discussed before we slept together in the snow fort you built in Vincent’s backyard. Which we’re never going to tell him about.”
“No. I remember that very clearly.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He slid his hands around her hips. His warmth permeated her clothing and soothed the bubble of nervousness spreading through her. Mouth a mere inch from hers, he asked, “How far along?”
“Almost six weeks, and I have my very first appointment with the doctor in thirty minutes if you want to come.” But Declan still hadn’t shown any kind of sign of what was going on inside his head. Nervous energy built behind her sternum. “Okay, you’re going to have to tell me what you’re thinking. I can’t read you right now.”
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