by Beth Rhodes
Knowing Hawk would go straight to his office, Stacy jumped into the shower to wash off the gritty feeling of travel. And, oh, my God, why wouldn’t this ache left by regret go away?
She needed time. Time heals, or whatever bullshit therapy made sense for today. Putting it all behind her was harder than she expected, though. And she wanted results—now. Telling herself that Cortez had been dead for only a day didn’t help.
Finishing up, she went in search of Hawk and found him in the study, standing at the window that looked out onto their backyard. The sloping green grass that rose just before the tree line. After the tree line, the property dropped down into a natural gully where a swift stream and river rock cut through the dark soil. Her husband’s shoulders fell, the weight of Cortez’s death affected him more than he cared to admit.
His hand came up and rubbed at the back of his neck.
Stacy let out a slow breath, not wanting to disturb him yet wanting to look.
“Don’t just stand there, babe.”
She went to him and stood, like he did, at the window, looking out. He placed a hand at her neck, his thumb brushed against her pulse. “I wanted to come home, even before this shit with Cortez hit the fan. I feel safe here. Like it doesn’t matter if I can’t see jack. Here, I can protect you. I know the land like the back of my hand. The house is as familiar as your face.”
“Yeah, not to mention the super, duper panic room under the barn …if we need to make a quick getaway.” She grinned through the sarcasm.
“Don’t make fun of it,” he answered as usual, locking her into the crook of his elbow as if to put her into a headlock. She poked his side, and he let her loose.
He turned her, cradled her face. “Come on. Let’s take a walk.”
It was the end of August now. The trees were still green, but perhaps not quite as vibrant as they’d been in July. With September just days away, it wouldn’t be long before an explosion of color would take her breath away.
They walked the distance to the tree line then met up with the path that led through the grove of pines where the earth was a tad sandier and the river wound south. When Hawk followed the river north, her heart pounded in anticipation.
Fifteen years ago, they’d settled on this piece of land, long owned by the Hawkins family. Hawk had grown up here. He knew every crevice. And together she and Hawk had explored, uncovering every secret the land held, including the foundation of an old Civil War encampment, which had included a house and two outbuildings.
The name Hawkins had headlined for those few months as archeologists swarmed the area, digging and excavating. When they’d finished, Hawk had promised her a memorial, their own quiet place in the woods.
“It’s been a long time since I came out here,” she started.
“Me, too. Too long.”
The pines gave way to tall oak trees and a clearing. Lush green grass shaded by the leaves above were circled with the pretty pastels of wildflowers.
Sunrays set the small wooden structure with the stone foundation afire. The stained-glass windows sparkled. He’d built her a chapel. Just because. “It was as if you knew being married to you was going to take a lot of pray,” she said now. They’d found four old pews and had built an altar of wood they’d harvested from their own land. A wooden cross hung on the wall.
He took her hand as they entered and led her to a seat in front of the altar. “Being a military man had nothing to do with it.”
“Yeah, maybe you knew that annoying habit of leaving your socks on the floor would drive me crazy.” She sighed. “This is a good place to be,” she said. This was a good time for her to set her conscience at ease and put things right between them. “Because I have something to say.”
He rested his elbows on his knees and turned his head to look at her with a grin. “I thought we were okay.”
“We’re okay.” She agreed. “I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done. I know I messed up, letting Cortez so close.”
“You’re just out of practice.”
“You didn’t hesitate. You always had confidence in me.”
Hawk was silent for a moment. “I don’t like that you’ve been unhappy.” He kissed her temple. “Don’t ever feel like you have to hold back. I want you to do what you want to do. Come back, leave. Do it.”
Stacy sighed, sitting back against the rough-hewn seat. “Okay. We’re a pair, you know?”
“I know.” He chuckled. “Wanna make out?”
“Hell, yeah.” She grinned.
Only, he merely took her face in his hands and kissed her on the mouth, slowly. The soft touch of his lips set her heart pounding, a contrast to her desire to enjoy the languid rush of emotions. The urge was there, to jump in, dive in with no hesitation. He reined in the need by savoring her, his tongue tracing the seam of her lips.
She nipped lightly with her teeth.
His gentle hands on her face moved to her neck, tightened there for an instant as she opened her mouth to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and straddled his lap. His hands gripped her waist as he kissed, each caress deeper than the last, each slow stroke of his tongue, a flame blazing to life.
“Stacy.”
“Hmm,” she hummed against his lips, her hips slowly beginning that long beautiful ride to completion.
“We’re going to have to go back.”
Her brain lacked the ability to put meaning to his words. She didn’t care where they went as long as they got naked first.
“To Belize.”
“What?” She shook off the haze of passion clouding her brain. “Right now?”
Hawk’s hands slipped under her shirt and cupped her breasts, before he found her nipples and rolled them between agile fingers. A familiar rush of need raced through her. “I won’t make it that far.”
He laughed and lifted her shirt over her head. The straps of her bra came down her shoulders and arms, achingly slow. His fingers traced her pebbling skin, making a figure eight over her breasts. Then he braced her, those hands around her ribcage, and took her into his mouth and sucked, first one peak then the other until she wasn’t thinking at all.
“We have to make it right again, make it our special place.”
She couldn’t think. Not about Belize or anywhere when he did this to her.
“We should take the kids there for spring break.”
“Sure. Now shut up,” she answered, opening her eyes to the sight of his tanned head against her pale chest. He sucked her in again, and this time she rose to her knees and reached for his jeans. Two could play this game, and she had every intention of making him as mindless as she.
Surprise lit his face when she pulled away, the tug on her nipple causing a rush of warmth to hit her core.
“I want to make love to you at home, in our bed, with nothing between us but skin.”
He groaned. “It’s a ten-minute walk.” He stood and carefully lifted her bra straps and settled her shirt back over her shoulders. “We could race.”
“I don’t want to run it out of you…”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
She grinned…and ran.
***
Hawk let her get ahead of him on the trail back to the house, and enjoyed the view of her tight rear end. At the last minute, he overtook her and lifted her into his arms. He wasn’t gentle as he could be, there was just too much desperation, too much emotion roiling through him.
His hands were so full of her, his mouth so into kissing her, he barely got the screen door open into the kitchen. When her hands slipped under the collar of his shirt and her nails trailed the length of his spine, he tripped over the threshold.
He broke the kiss. “Jesus, Stacy.”
She just dove right back in, sucking his tongue into her mouth. In the nick of time, he sidestepped the butcher block, turned, and set her ass on top. He stripped her of her shirt, pulling it over her head and then did the same with his own. Cool air hit his back, a
nd he shivered an instant before Stacy wrapped her arms around him and began her own means of adoration. He moaned when her mouth found his nipple then moved beyond, leaving a trail of kisses—everywhere.
He wanted her so badly, the aching need pressed against the zipper of his fly; his breath came short. “Hold up.” His vision went blurry, and he blinked. “Shit.”
Her hands came up to his face. She traced his eyebrows and brought the fire back with her lips on his. Her legs came around his waist, and from her perch, she toed off her shoes. They fell to the floor with a thud.
Another blink, another spasm at the back of his eye, and he closed them.
He lifted her and strode down the hall to the foyer and the stairs. In a moment between light and dark, he pressed her up against the wall, leaned into her, and felt the rise of her breasts against his chest. “Mmm,” he made a sound, got his breath back, then turned, taking the stairs two at a time.
She wriggled against him, her hands working the clasp behind her, and tossed the scrap of silky material with a laugh. God, her hands were everywhere—his shoulders, back, and down to his hips.
He slid her soft running pants down the length of her legs.
A frenzy built within him, tightened low in his gut as he struggled with his own jeans. Her cool hands slipped in next to his and slowly lowered the zipper. “There,” she said, looking up into his eyes.
He found himself there and everything grinded to a stop. She was this peace he didn’t have unless she was present. Their whole life, she’d been the one so certain of who she was, her purpose, their purpose.
He crushed her to him. It was the only way… never let her go.
Words weren’t enough.
He shoved his jeans down his legs and stepped out of them. He followed her into their bed and crawled beneath the covers, tangling his legs with hers. Her soft skin. How did she keep it so soft? She was his perfection—everything he ever needed, wanted, and craved. She’d been his first love, and she would be his last.
He flipped her over on the bed. “You ready?” he asked.
She stretched, moaning against the clean sheets and reaching over her head for a pillow to put under her chest. He saw the grin on her face before he heard her words. “Take me now, Hawk.”
He braced himself over her, kissed down her spine, and then entered her. “Oh, God, babe.”
She surrounded him, held him, tightened against his hard length. Her hands held onto his wrists, and he almost lost it right there. When her back arched, he thrust into her—again and again—until she came apart, shuddered with her release, and took him to an orgasm that left him useless, unseeing…complete.
He rolled over, taking her into his arms and noting that she slept.
Hawk brushed her hair from her face.
Living proof of their love would be home soon. School would begin again. And they would be back to work. Sight or no sight, he wasn’t going to let it stop him. He had a business to run, he had a team. They relied on him. He would rely on them.
Time to put pity aside, he thought, as that dreaded headache followed him into sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Thanks for coming in so early on a Monday.” With the undivided attention of his entire team, Hawk stood at the front of the room, nerves sizzling through his veins.
Tan sat to his right, with his handy-dandy legal pad open.
“This isn’t exactly a note-taking announcement,” he said, with a grin and a nod.
Tan underlined the date at the top of his paper twice then set the pen down on the table.
“I’ll be implementing a few changes in the next month.” He started, glancing over at Stacy who encouraged him with a smile. “The business has grown in the last few years. Our contract for the Feldman kidnapping a year ago put our name at the top of people’s lists. The contract with Syntel was another coup, solidifying our success with security detail as well as security systems for those larger companies—”
“Get Buffett on the phone, then we’ll talk.”
Hawk laughed with the others at the voice from the back of the room, Bobby.
“Until now we’ve kept a lower profile, worked smaller cases. We’re expanding. The change will bring some pains, as most growth does.” He turned to Tancredo. “I’ve already spoken with Tan. He’ll be leading our personal security division, staying here in Raleigh for the most part. As well as taking on and managing who works the bodyguard jobs, he’ll be running and teaching classes at the gym. John, I want you to help out there when you’re not on any assignment or working with the FBI. We’ll maintain regular gym hours as we always have.”
Stacy’s phone rang, and she slipped into the hallway. He could see her through the glass that separated the room from the rest of the office space.
“The truth is—” This was it. The truth, revealed. “I’ve been having a problem with my vision. I’m going in for surgery in three weeks.”
“What?”
Every man in the room sat up straighter, came to attention.
“I knew something was up when you left Belize. Damn.”
Hawk rubbed a hand over his smile. “Thank you, Jamie. You have a flight to Belize coming up very soon, don’t you?”
“Just try to get rid of me. I do what I want, when I want.” It was true. Jamie was more a silent partner than one of his employees. He’d been there for him the longest, and Hawk knew, without a doubt, he’d be here when the time came to go under the knife.
“The doctor is going to remove some scar tissue surrounding my optic nerve. Hopefully, my vision will improve, and I’ll be back in the game one hundred percent. Worst case, I lose it completely.”
Hawk listened to the silence for a moment, let the shock of that sink in.
“Things are going to be different. I may not get any sight back. The business could flop, and we could be out on our tails before the end of the year. I won’t hold it against you if you decide you need to find new employment. As a matter of fact, I have several contacts. Just say the word, and you’ve got a letter from me.”
He saw his men glance at each other, could see the wheels turning.
Craig, with his hooded eyes and crossed arms, hadn’t been with them long. Hawk didn’t doubt his loyalty even if he’d kept to himself. Never quite investing in the relationships that were bound to crop up in close working quarters.
It hadn’t been a problem, yet.
Eventually, Craig would need to show his true colors or the guys wouldn’t learn to trust him completely. Without trust, the entire system would break down.
“Anyone ready to call it quits?”
Silence met his inquiry.
“Good.” Hawk breathed an internal sigh of relief before moving on to other matters. “I’ll be looking for a new office manager.”
“What? No,” Jamie stood so fast, his chair almost upended. His connection to Hawk’s wife was like the bond between brother and sister. “She is the glue here.”
“She is not leaving us. Instead, she’ll be working in the teams”
John stared at him. “You mean to tell me Stacy—”
“Will be using the skills she has always trained for.” Hawk held his teammate’s gaze. “She went through a lot in Belize. We both did and we both agreed that she could do more, be more for the teams than a den mother.”
“Sir—” John looked to argue.
Stacy took that moment to re-enter the room. Jamie strode towards her and wrapped his big, beefy arms around her. She lifted a brow in Hawk’s direction and patted Jamie on the back. “What did I miss?”
“He found out you were returning to active duty.”
“Well, it’s been long enough of sitting back. I’ll still be at headquarters, for the most part. I’ll go out as needed.”
It would take some getting used to, and not just for him, either. The guys had looked on Stacy as a friend—and some of the younger guys, as a mother figure—for a long time.
“I don’t like it, Stac
y,” John maintained. “It’s dangerous. We can’t be watching out for you, when we should be watching out for the bad guys.”
Hawk knew all the arguments against having her on the team. He’d been having his own personal war going on in his head. Not that he was going to admit it to Stacy.
“I’ll take Stacy at my six, any day,” Jamie spoke up, his deep voice quiet and calm.
Surprise broke on her face, and she turned to him. “Thank you.” She blew out a breath. “My job will always be to have your back. My job will always be to complete the mission. And, despite the male strengths in this business, I believe we’ll be stronger to have some female influence in the field. I intend to do some recruiting of my own in the next few months.”
John sat up straighter and half raised his hand before dropping it into his lap.
Hawk made a note of that for later as he stood. “Let’s table the discussion for now. Stacy and I are both excited and nervous about this and again, if there are any concerns, please feel free to come and chat with me.”
Stacy turned to him, a new light in her eyes as she waved her phone in his direction. “Just got a call from Germany. Going to take it and then run to the store. Kids coming home. Time to fill the coffers, right?”
Hawk’s heart clenched a little. Only a few days since they returned, his impulse to keep her as close as possible hadn’t quite returned to the normal range.
She was safe. His family was safe.
He forced himself to smile, forced himself to let her go. “I’ll see you later.”
The look she gave him let him know she wasn’t fooled. And she was almost out the door when he called her name, and she turned, lifting her brows in question.
Be careful, he wanted to say. “Love you.”
The tenderness of her smile said it all. She knew him, knew he would worry for a while before his world righted.
***
Stacy sat in the conference room and made the return call to Germany.