INNKEEPER (With an effort) I am in charge of this place.
DON QUIXOTE (Coldly) We waited, sire, for a dwarf to mount the batt ements and announce us, but none appeared.
INNKEEPER The … the dwarfs are all busy.
(QUIXOTE makes a haughty signal to SANCHO, who delivers himself of a rehearsed speech)
SANCHO Noble lords and ladies. My master, Don Quixote, knight-errant and defender of the right and pursuer of lofty undertakings, implores the boon of hospitality!
(The INNKEEPER looks open-mouthed at the MULETEERS, who look back in kind)
DON QUIXOTE Well, sir? Is it granted?
INNKEEPER (Pulling himself together) Absolutely! This inn—I mean, this castle—is open to everybody.
MARIA (To the INNKEEPER, frightened) A madman!
INNKEEPER (Aside, to MARIA) Madmen are the children of God. (To QUIXOTE) Sir knight, you must be hungry.
DON QUIXOTE Aye, that I am.
INNKEEPER There’s food aplenty, and for your squire, too. I’ll just help him stable your animals.
(He motions to SANCHO to follow, and they exit)
DON QUIXOTE (Approaching the others) Gentle knights! Fair chatelaine! If there be any among you that require assistance, you have but to speak and my good right arm is at your service. Whether it be a princess held for ransom, an army besieged and awaiting rescue, or merely . . : (ALDONZA has emerged laden with things for the table. She stops, puzzled at the silence. DON QUIXOTE is gazing at her, stricken) Dear God … it is she! (ALDONZA stares. He averts his eyes worshipfully) Sweet lady … fair virgin … I dare not gaze full upon thy countenance lest I be blinded by beauty. But I implore thee—speak once thy name.
ALDONZA (A growl) Aldonza.
DON QUIXOTE My lady jests.
ALDONZA Aldonza!
DON QUIXOTE (Approaching her) The name of a kitchen-scullion … or mayhap my lady’s serving-maid?
ALDONZA I told you my name! Now get out of the way, or I’ll—
DON QUIXOTE (Smiling) Did my lady think to put me to a test? Ah, sweet sovereign of my captive heart, I shall not fail thee, for I know. (Singing)
I have dreamed thee too long,
Never seen thee or touched thee, but known thee with all of my heart,
Half a prayer, half a song,
Thou hast always been with me, though we have been always apart.
Dulcinea … Dulcinea …
I see heaven when I see thee, Dulcinea,
And thy name is like a prayer an angel whispers …
Dulcinea … Dulcinea!
If I reach out to thee,
Do not tremble and shrink from the touch of my hand on thy hair.
Let my fingers but see
Thou art warm and alive, and no phantom to fade in the air.
Dulcinea … Dulcinea …
I have sought thee, sung thee, dreamed thee, Dulcinea!
Now I’ve found thee, and the world shall know thy glory.
Dulcinea … Dulcinea!
INNKEEPER (Entering; to QUIXOTE) Come along, Señor Knight! I’ll show you to your quarters.
(He maneuvers QUIXOTE offstage)
MARIA (Mocking, to ALDONZA) Ay, Dulcinea!
(The MULETEERS launch into an elaborate parody of the song)
MULETEERS (Singing)
Dulcinea … Dulcinea …
I see heaven when I see thee, Dulcinea.
ANSELMO
And thy name is like a prayer an angel whispers …
Dulcinea … Dulcinea …
MULETEERS
Dulcinea … Dulcinea …
I have sought thee, sung thee, dreamed thee, Dulcinea!
Now I’ve found thee, and the world shall know thy glory,
Dulcinea … Dulcinea!
(By the end ALDONZA has driven them about the stage, belaboring them in fury—as the lighting changes back to the prison. THE DUKE is in the center of the arena, shouting the others down)
THE DUKE Governor! Governor! If you don’t mind—this man proposed to offer a defense!
CERVANTES This is my defense.
THE DUKE The most curious I’ve ever heard!
CERVANTES But if it entertains …?
THE DUKE (Waspishly) The word is “diverts.” I think your purpose is to divert us from ours.
CERVANTES (Cheerfully) Precisely! And now if I may get on with it …?
THE GOVERNOR Continue your defense!
(CERVANTES, again the scene-master, selects people and arranges the next sequence as he speaks)
CERVANTES Imagine now the family our brave knight left behind! Not the lords and ladies and retainers of Don Quixote de La Mancha, but the simple womenfolk of a country squire known as Alonso Quijana. (A musical underscore begins as he beckons to three of the PRISONERS, handing them costumes) Imagine their shock as news of the master’s madness reaches them! To his niece, Antonia—who is worried about its effect on her forthcoming marriage. To his housekeeper of many years—who is worried about even darker matters. To the local Padre who has known Alonso all of his life. (To THE DUKE) And shortly there will enter a character whose philosophy may appeal—enormously—to you! (He slings a costume to THE DUKE) Alonso’s niece and his housekeeper hurry to the neighborhood church. (To his MANSERVANT) May we have a church, please? Anguished by this terrible situation—and not unaware of what the neighbors may think—they seek help and advice from the Padre. (The PRISONER selected for the PADRE, now costumed, giggles with delight in his role. CERVANTES wipes the smile from his face, adjusts his posture) The Padre. (The PRISONER composes himself instantly, walks into the scene. Setting and lighting have changed; we are now in a simple country church. There are confessional screens left and right. The PADRE is between, listening alternately to the plaints of the two women beyond their respective screens where CERVANTES has positioned them, puppet-like) But in spite of the trouble which the Squire’s madness may bring down upon their heads, you may be sure they are only thinking of him!
(He snaps his fingers, and the people come to life, singing)
ANTONIA
I’m only thinking of him,
I’m only thinking of him,
Whatever I may do or say,
I’m only thinking of him!
In my body, it’s well known,
There is not one selfish bone—
I’m only thinking and worrying about him!
I’ve been told he’s chasing dragons and I fear it may be true.
If my groom should hear about it, heaven knows what he will do!
Oh, I dearly love my uncle but for what he’s done to me
I would like to take and lock him up and throw away the key!
But if I do …
But if I do …
There is one thing that I swear will still be true …
ANTONIA and
HOUSEKEEPER PADRE
I’m only thinking of him;
I’m only thinking of him;
I’m only thinking and
worrying about him. I know, I know, my dear,
Of course you are, my dear;
I understand.
HOUSEKEEPER
Oh, I think he’s been too lonely, living years without a spouse,
So when he returns I fear I may have trouble in the house;
For they say he seeks a lady, who his own true love shall be;
God forbid that in his madness he should ever think it’s me!
(The PADRE steals a look around the screen at her, incredulously)
If he should try
I’ll surely die,
And I will grimly guard my honor as I cry—
HOUSEKEEPER PADRE ANTONIA (Her
I’m only thinking of him;
I know, I know, my dear;
wail continues throughout)
I’m only thinking of him;
Of course you are, mydear;
Woe, woe, woe …
I’m only thinking and worrying about him.
I understand.
<
br /> HOUSEKEEPER
Woe!
(Her wail makes the PADRE wince and recoil toward ANTONIA)
ANTONIA
Woe!
(The PADRE winces and recoils in the other direction)
PADRE HOUSEKEEPER ANTONIA
(Slipping to
his knees;
addressing God) Woe, woe … Woe, woe …
They’re only thinking of him,
of him
They’re only thinking
of him,
How saintly is their
plaintive plea—
They’re only thinking
of him!
What a comfort, to be
sure
That their motives are
so pure—
As they go thinking and
worrying about him!
(CERVANTES appears in the lights, ushering forward THE DUKE, now dressed in academic cap and gown)
CERVANTES And now there appears on the scene a man of breeding … intelligence … logic. He is Antonia’s fiancé, Doctor Sansón Carrasco—Bachelor of Science—graduate of the University of Salamanca! (Drily) A man who carries his own self-importance as though afraid of breaking it. (Places CARRASCO in one corner of the stage. The quartet immediately starts arguing. CERVANTES claps his hands for silence) I had forgotten that family quarrels have a way of getting out of hand. With so much at stake in the game, let us rearrange the pieces! (Moving ANTONIA to a second corner) The queen—cunning! (Moving the HOUSEKEEPER to a third corner) The castle—formidable! (Moving the PADRE to the fourth corner) The bishop—charmingly diagonal! (Sitting center) And now—the problem of the knight!
ANTONIA Sansón!
PADRE Have you heard?
DR. CARRASCO On my way here I was informed by at least ten people. (To ANTONIA) My dear, your uncle is the laughingstock of the entire neighborhood. Padre? What do you know of this?
PADRE Only that the good Señor Quijana has been carried away by his imagination.
DR. CARRASCO Señor Quijana has lost his mind and is suffering from delusions.
PADRE Is there a difference?
DR. CARRASCO Exactitude of meaning. I beg to remind you, Padre, that I am a doctor.
ANTONIA Please don’t argue, we must do something about him!
DR. CARRASCO I’m a little more concerned about us.
ANTONIA What do you mean, us?
DR. CARRASCO Our marriage, my dear. There is a certain embarrassment at having a madman in the family. In the eyes of others—
PADRE (Alarmed at this drift) Oh, come, come, Doctor.
DR. CARRASCO I do not relish claiming a lunatic as uncle!
HOUSEKEEPER (Nodding, a sibyl) The innocent must pay for the sins of the guilty.
PADRE Guilty of what? A gentle delusion!
DR. CARRASCO How do you know it is gentle? By this time who knows what violence he has committed! He was armed?
HOUSEKEEPER With sword and lance.
(CARRASCO throws up his hands)
ANTONIA (Voice forlorn, wistful) Sansón. I had hoped for so much for us. For you, really. Everything was to be for you. My uncle’s house … his lands …
PADRE (The devil’s advocate) True, Doctor. In time they would all be yours. After all, if one is to serve science, one must have the means.
DR. CARRASCO (Outraged) Are you priest or pawnbroker?
PADRE (Swiftly revising his approach) What I meant was—consider the challenge.
DR. CARRASCO Challenge?
PADRE Think what cleverness it would take to wean this man from madness. To turn him from his course and persuade him to return home.
(CERVANTES rises: clever approach)
DR. CARRASCO (Pondering) Hmmm … that is a challenge.
PADRE Impossible.
DR. CARRASCO He can’t have gotten far?
PADRE No more than a day’s journey!
DR. CARRASCO Get ready, Padre. We shall go after him.
(As they prepare to leave, the DOCTOR sings)
But as we go …
But as we go …
There is one thing that I want the world to know!
PADRE (Singing, aside)
I feel, with pain,
That once again,
We now will hear a very often heard refrain.
(They sing in chorus)
DR. CARRASCO PADRE
I’m only thinking of him— He’s only thinking of him,
ANTONIA and HOUSEKEEPER
You’re only thinking of him— He’s only thinking of him, just him.
ANTONIA, HOUSEKEEPER AND DR. CARRASCO
Whatever we may do or say,
We’re only thinking of him.
In our bodies it’s well known
There is not one selfish bone …
ANTONIA, HOUSEKEEPER
and DR. CARRASCO PADRE
We’re only thinking and
worrying about him! They’re only thinking and
worrying about him!
(Lights dim out on them as CERVANTES, isolated in his own light, steps forward)
CERVANTES Let us return now to the inn. To the kitchen of the inn. A kitchen, ladies, if you please? Thank you. (Taking the pots, sniffing as he places them) Ah yes, tomorrow’s onion stew. Chicken tripes, with … pepper. Now then! As everyone knows, it is imperative that each knight shall have a lady—for a knight without a lady is like a body without a soul. To whom would he dedicate his conquests? What vision sustain him when he sallies forth to do battle with ogres and with giants? (He points to the stage area where lights come up on ALDONZA, seated in what is now the kitchen, gobbling her supper. SANCHO is seen approaching. CERVANTES hands him a sheet of paper) Don Quixote, having discovered his lady, sends his faithful squire to her with a missive.
(The transition is complete; CERVANTES exits)
ALDONZA (To SANCHO, suspiciously) Missive? What’s a missive?
SANCHO A sort of a letter. He warned me to give it only into your hand.
ALDONZA (Darkly) Let’s see it. (She takes the rolled sheet from SANCHO, inspects both sides. Sullenly) I can’t read.
SANCHO Neither can I. But my master, foreseeing such a possibility, recited it to me so I could commit it to heart.
ALDONZA (Angrily) What made him think I couldn’t read?
SANCHO Well, as he explained it, noblewomen are so busy with their needlework—
ALDONZA Needlework?
SANCHO Embroidering banners for their knights. He said they had no time for study.
ALDONZA (Contemptuously) What’s it say?
(SANCHO takes the letter from her, holds it before him, and closes his eyes. Music: the quotations from the letter are sung. All other lines are spoken)
SANCHO
“Most lovely sovereign and highborn lady—”
ALDONZA (Continuing to gobble her supper) Ho.
SANCHO
“The heart of this, thy vassal knight, faints for thy favor.”
ALDONZA Ha.
SANCHO
“Oh, fairest of the fair, purest of the pure;
Incomparable Dulcinea—”
ALDONZA That again. My name is Aldonza!
SANCHO (Patiently) My master calls you Dulcinea.
ALDONZA (Glowering) Why?
SANCHO I don’t know, but I can tell you from experience that knights have their own language for everything, and it’s better not to ask questions because it only gets you into trouble. (ALDONZA makes a contemptuous gesture for him to continue)
“I beg thee grant that I may kiss the nethermost hem of thy garment—”
ALDONZA Kiss my which?
SANCHO If you keep interrupting, the whole thing will be gone out of my head!
ALDONZA Well, what’s he want?
SANCHO I’m getting to it!
“—And send to me a token of thy fair esteem that I may carry as my standard into battle.”
ALDONZA What kind of a token?
SANCHO He says generally it’s a sil
ken scarf.
ALDONZA Your master’s a crackbrain!
SANCHO Oh, no!
ALDONZA (Mimicking) Oh, yes!
SANCHO Well, they say one madman makes a hundred and love makes a thousand.
ALDONZA What’s that mean?
SANCHO I’m not sure.
ALDONZA You’re crazy, too! (A pause) Well, what are you waiting for?
SANCHO (Patiently) The token.
ALDONZA I’ll give him a token. Here!
(She flings him the filthy, tattered dishcloth she has been using)
SANCHO (Examining it in dismay) But my lady—
ALDONZA Don’t you “my lady” me too or I’ll crack you like an egg! (SANCHO retreats) Wait a minute. Come here. Sit. Sit! (She pats the stool and SANCHO sits, she beside him on the floor) Tell me—why do you follow him?
SANCHO Well, that’s easy to explain, I … I …
(The reason seems to elude him)
ALDONZA Why?
SANCHO I’m telling you. It’s because … because …
ALDONZA Why?
SANCHO (Giving up; simply, he sings)
I like him.
I really like him.
Tear out my fingernails one by one, I like him!
I don’t have
A very good reason.
Since I’ve been with him cuckoonuts have been in season—
But there’s nothing I can do,
Chop me up for onion stew,
Still I’ll yell to the sky,
Though I can’t tell you why,
That I like him!
ALDONZA It doesn’t make any sense!
SANCHO That’s because you’re not a squire.
ALDONZA All right, you’re a squire. How does a squire squire?
SANCHO Well, I ride behind him … and he fights. Then I pick him up off the ground …
Man of La Mancha Page 3