I sighed as I gripped the pistol in my hands, then nodded in agreement and quickly placed the holster on my belt at the small of my back. Hopefully, if I got caught by the cops with it, I'd only get a fine and no jail time since I didn't have a gun license, let alone a concealed carry permit. Thankfully, my record was clean for the last eight years, but the years prior to that, and especially the ones while I'd been using, weren't so untarnished. I was fortunate I didn't earn myself an actual felony. It wasn't for lack of trying, I just never got caught doing anything that would have earned me one. I was just pulling my T-shirt down over the pistol as Ella came back downstairs. Good, I think seeing the weapon on me would push her over the edge right now.
Ella handed the tablet to Scott then rushed over to sit back down next to me. She curled close against me, burrowing her face into my chest to cry silent tears. I held her tight and murmured comforting words to her as Scott silently scrolled through the tablet's contents for several minutes.
Eventually, Scott made a disgusted noise. "What a piece of shit bastard," I heard him growl quietly to himself as he put the tablet down with a hard glare at it. He shook his head and turned his attention to his laptop. He clacked away on the keys for a moment then turned the screen around toward me. "Do you know this place in The Armpit where Ray wants Ella to meet him?" he asked me.
I focused on the screen and studied the street view image of a large and dilapidated brick building for a moment. I abruptly stilled as I recognized it with wide eyes, then swore under my breath.
"I'm assuming that's a yes?" Scott asked with a worried frown.
"Yeah," I said softly.
Ella sat up and looked at the computer now too, then gave me a questioning expression along with Scott.
I swallowed and fought to calm my racing pulse. "I squatted there for a while the first time I was homeless."
Ella gasped and gaped at me in horror. Scott merely gave me a nod and a look of empathy. He'd heard me talk about my time on the streets in our addiction recovery meetings many times over the years, but this was all new information for Ella.
I got myself evicted from the apartment that she and I lived in within a year after she left me. I stopped paying the rent to spend the money on heroin, since by then I'd already pawned anything of value I had for drugs, including her engagement ring. All I'd left behind when I lost the home I once shared with her was a mattress and some clothes.
The building on Scott's laptop wasn't that far from Rexy's Bar, and it was convenient for me to go to work so I could earn more drug money. I recognized the nearby sketchy convenience store in the image that I used to shoplift from for food when I actually remembered to eat or for booze when I wanted to get drunk while I got high.
It was a wonder I didn't die alone from an overdose or get murdered in my sleep in that building before Rex took me in for the first of many times he tried to help me get clean. I hid my homelessness from him for quite some time before he figured out I was living in an abandoned and condemned building and got me out of there. I wished I could say it was the only time I ended up living on the streets.
"So you're familiar with its interior?" Scott asked me.
I nodded reluctantly at him, trying to ignore Ella's stricken expression. I never wanted her to know the true extent of how bad those fucked-up years were for me. I didn't want her to feel anymore guilt than she already did, and frankly, I was ashamed of what I did to myself too.
"Can you remember it well enough to get around inside?"
"I can try," I said in a quiet subdued voice, feeling the first stirrings of panic rising inside me.
Seeing that building again stirred up a lot of horrible memories that I just as soon forget, and made me feel sick. Now it looked like I'd have to go back there, and the mere thought of it filled me with dread that the place might trigger a relapse, but I would do it anyway. I'd do anything for Ella and that little girl, no matter the cost to myself.
"Good," Scott said with a shit-eating grin and a cunning gleam in his eyes as he met my gaze. "Because we're going to get Violet back, and take that piece of shit down in the process too."
I nodded and breathed a little easier, his calm confidence easing some of my disquiet. It gave me hope that I was strong enough to see this through. I had to be, because the alternative was unthinkable and would cost me what I'd just managed to get back and wanted more than anything, the promise of a happy future with Ella and Violet.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
____________________
Ella
I snuggled closer to Calder in the back seat of Scott's old Buick and pressed my cheek against his broad chest. The car's interior was dark and silent except for Calder's strong and steady heart beat under my ear as I listened to it through the soft fabric of his thick sweatshirt. I focused on its constant and reassuring rhythm, trying to calm myself. My mind was frantic with worry for my Violet, and it was all I could do not to leap out of the car and go find her this instant. I breathed in deeply and let out a long shaking sigh of impatience. Calder's arms tightened around me.
"Patience, baby," he murmured as he rubbed soft circles on my back with his fingertips. "Scott knows what he's doing. Trust me on that."
I nodded without moving away from his comforting embrace, but said nothing. I did trust him, and by extension Scott who was a P.I. and a security expert, but I was impatient and scared.
A short while ago, Scott had taken off on his own dressed in all black to scope out the building before I went in to see Ray. He left us parked on the other end of the same block as our destination in a narrow alley well-hidden between some sort of warehouse and a line of scrubby trees that ran along a railroad track. It probably hadn't been that long since he took off, but it felt like an eternity. I hadn't seen my little girl in close to twenty-four hours, and I could only imagine what could have happened to her in all that time. Was she okay? Was she scared? Had Ray hurt her? I shuddered at the thought.
I couldn't stop thinking about all those messages Ray sent Violet on her tablet that were filled with manipulations and lies to get her to keep his existence from me for weeks. My poor sweet and trusting little girl believed her father implicitly, and he'd used that against her. She had no idea her father was a monster. I'd made a point of never telling her the truth after I thought he died, wanting to protect her and not make thing worse for her in her grief, but my God, I wish I had now. Maybe then she would have told me the first time he communicated with her. I could have called the police, the FBI, or done something to keep us safe from him.
The jaded cynical part of me told me that was wishful thinking, and that we'd probably never be safe from him, not me, not Violet, and not Calder either since he was on Ray's radar now. I feared I'd never be free from that man. Never. A trapped helpless feeling began to overwhelm me at the thought of seeing Ray again, making my stomach churn and my chest ache. I didn't know if I could do this.
I sat up and met Calder's anxious and haunted eyes. Shit, maybe he couldn't do this either. I couldn't comprehend what it must have been like for him to not have a real home, or what it was like to stay in that awful rundown building. And now he had to go back and relive all those horrible memories? He looked so rattled right now that it made me fear for his sanity and his sobriety.
"Maybe we should just call the police," I blurted out. "Let them deal with this. Surely they can get her back."
He pressed his lips together and breathed out roughly through his nose. "It's The Armpit, Ella," Calder said with bitter-edged conviction. "Do you honestly think they'll believe us and rush out here when we tell them a dead crime lord has his daughter hostage in an abandoned factory, or that Ray doesn't have a backup plan if the cops do show up?" He gripped one of my hands tightly with a grave expression. "Are you willing to bet Violet's life on that?" he added in a softer tone.
"No," I replied in a small and fragile voice. "But I'm scared for Violet, for me," -I reached up to cup his cheek- "for you."<
br />
"So am I," he admitted in a whisper as his brow furrowed worriedly. "But that doesn't matter because you need me. Violet needs me. I love that little girl, and I'll do whatever it takes to get her back to you. I promised you that, and I'll do it."
A fierce determination sparked in his eyes, and settled some of my fear. This man had the courage and strength of will to conquer a heroin addiction, to build a successful life out of nothing for himself, and to give me a second chance. What couldn't he do? The fear began to subside to a more manageable level, settling my nerves a bit.
"I love you," I told him softly as I slid my thumb across his lush lips.
"I love you too, baby," he whispered, then leaned in to brush his lips briefly across mine before he pulled me into his arms again.
We were still holding each other a few minutes later when Scott finally returned to the car and slid into the driver's seat. He sighed as he turned to face us and pulled the hood of his sweatshirt down off his head.
"Well, I've got good news, and bad news," he said with a grim expression. "The bad news is that building's in piss poor shape. It's gonna be dicey moving around in there to get to Violet without falling through the goddamn floor or the ceiling coming down on us first." He smirked. "The good news is it looks like the bastard's in there without any backup."
"Ray doesn't trust anyone," I said. "Especially since I'm pretty sure it was one of his own that gave him up to the FBI."
I'd overheard that much while I was being questioned just after Ray's arrest, but wisely kept it to myself. I wondered if Ray figured out who the culprit was for himself after he got out on bail. Knowing how ruthless my husband was, it had probably been one of the people who actually died in that plane crash when he faked his own death.
Scott nodded. "There's a light on up on the third floor, and I'm assuming that's where he's holed up with the kid. I found an open door at the front of the building next to the loading docks, and there's a trail of glow sticks in there that lead further inside that I assume are for Ella to use. I couldn't go very far inside without the risk of revealing myself. I found a couple of other ways in, but none of them looked safe enough to take without the risk of getting hurt."
"There's a back way in that I used to sneak in through," Calder said quietly. "And there's only one intact area on the third floor for them to be in. I think I can get up there, if it's still safe."
"Good," Scott said with a thoughtful expression as he rubbed at his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "Alright, you go in the back way while Ella goes in the front like he expects and keeps him occupied. I'll shadow Ella and stay out of sight nearby in case she needs me. If we're lucky, you can pluck the kid right out from under his nose before he even realizes what's happening. I have my phone in my pocket on the lowest vibration setting, so text me when you have the kid clear, and then I'll get Ella out of there. We're kind of winging it here, but I think it will work. Since Ella says she's never defied him before, he won't see this coming. We have the advantage here."
"No," Calder growled out as he shook his head vehemently. "I won't risk Ella facing him alone like that. What if he just kills her outright as soon as he sees her, or hurts her before you can get her away from him?"
"Cal," I told him in a reasonable tone. "If he wanted me dead he would have done it last night while I was asleep, and heaven only knows what he'd do to Violet if I walked in there with you two." I took his hand in mine. "You know we need to do this to get Violet back." Honestly, I was terrified of facing that man again, but I'd do whatever it took for my daughter, no matter the risk to myself.
A dark scowl crossed Calder's features, and he let out a low growl, the muscles of his cheeks flexing as he ground his teeth together. Scott looked back and forth between us, wisely keeping out of it.
I took a fortifying breath and steeled my will. "Calder, please," I added firmly as I met his eyes. "There's no other way and you know it."
His scowl deepened. "I don't like it," he ground out between his teeth.
I gripped the back of his neck to pull his face closer to mine, and pressed my forehead to his. "I know, and I don't like it either, but we'll figure it out together."
A small smile played across his mouth as I used his own words from the night before. He let out a hard shuddering breath, then spoke a single word in resignation. "Okay."
"If we're going to do this, we need to do it now," Scott finally added to the conversation as he glanced at the smart watch on his wrist. "We're creeping up on midnight here."
Calder reached up to cup my face in his big warm palms. "Let's go get our little girl back," he whispered.
I nodded, his use of the word "our" making tears of happiness prick my eyes. It meant everything to me that he wanted a future with Violet just as much as with me. Before I could say anything, he was opening the car door and pulling me out with him as Scott got out of the vehicle too. I noticed Calder's eyes were glittering with fear and unease in the moonlight. He pressed a quick yet fierce kiss to my lips, then brought his hood up over his head. Scott clapped a reassuring hand on his shoulder for a moment. Calder nodded at his best friend in acknowledgment, then turned and hurried off into the night.
"Will he be okay?" I asked Scott after Calder disappeared.
"I'm not going to lie. It won't be easy for him going back in there," Scott said soberly. "But for the first time he has an incentive that he's never had before."
I cocked my head and gave him a questioning look.
"You, Violet, a chance for a real family," Scott answered with a genuine and easy smile. "It's what he's always wanted, but thought he lost for good." He shook his head. "A bachelor's life was never really for him, even though he wouldn't admit it. I always hoped he'd eventually let you go and find the right woman to take your place someday, but it was you that he loved and needed all along. I know that now." His face turned fierce. "But he's more fragile than he seems, so promise me you won't hurt him again, Ella. Promise me."
"I left Calder once and paid for that mistake for the last twelve years before I found my way back to him," I replied just as fiercely. "I love him, and I'll be damned if I ever hurt that man again, or let anything keep us apart now that I have him back."
Scott met my gaze for a long moment, then nodded once in satisfaction. He reached into his pocket to pull something out, and pressed it into my fingers. "That's pepper spray, in case you need it," he answered before I could ask.
"What about you?" I asked. "Don't you need some too?"
"Oh honey, I got something better than that," he replied with a smirk. He pulled aside his open sweatshirt to reveal a hand gun strapped under his arm in a shoulder holster.
I gasped quietly in surprise as a frisson of fear rippled through me. "Do you...do think that's really necessary?" I asked waveringly.
"Do you think for one second that Voss isn't armed too?"
Oh shit, I didn't even think of that. Ray had always been armed, but I'd learned to ignore it over the years for my own mental well-being. My eyes widened in horror at the thought of one of us getting shot. "Oh God," I muttered under my breath as panic quickened my heart and filled me with dread.
"Relax," Scott said calmly as he touched one of my shoulders comfortingly. He turned back to the car, and leaned in through the still open driver's side door to grab something out of his bag on the passenger seat. He came out with what looked like a large piece of stiff black cloth, and held it out to me. "Here."
"What's that?"
"A Kevlar vest just like mine," he said as he patted his chest. "Calder put one on before we left your house as well, and he's armed too."
"Oh," I said in shocked surprise as I gave him a confused and questioning look. "Okay."
"We didn't want to freak you out with the guns and stuff too soon," he admitted with a grimace.
I glared at him, even if he did have a valid point. I guess I was relieved that I didn't have a chance to fret about it for hours.
"Sorry," he said sheep
ishly with a shrug.
I sighed and decided to let it go. We had more important things to do than argue a moot point. I waved a dismissive hand in the air at him in acquiescence.
He motioned for me to turn around. Within seconds, he had the vest on me over my T-shirt, its presence equal parts reassuring and terrifying. Then he handed me a black sweatshirt that I slipped on over my head before looking at him for direction on what to do next as my fear started to settle down to a more manageable level.
"Come on," he said firmly as he lifted his hood up.
He started walking away, and I hurried after him as I pulled up the hood of the sweatshirt he'd just given me. I fell in step behind him in the opposite direction Calder had taken, and prayed we'd find my daughter and make it back to each other in one piece when this was over.
I followed Scott down the alley, sticking close to the brush on one side and trying to move quickly yet quietly like he did. Luckily, there was just enough moonlight for me to keep from stumbling along like a complete bumbling idiot. Within minutes, we came to the end of the alley and stopped in the shadows at the corner of a building. I came up behind him to peer out at the sidewalk and street in front of us.
"The building we want is the next one over," Scott explained quietly as he pointed to the right with his thumb. "There's a rusty old gate at the far corner of it. A few yards past that, there's a hole in the fence we can slip through. When we get close to the front entrance, you'll go on ahead and go inside to meet Ray." He put a firm comforting hand on my shoulder. "I'll be close by the whole time in case you need me."
Taming Rough Waters Page 25