by Maggie Way
“Oh, God in Heaven!” Jolene’s mother cried out and clasped her hand to her mouth. As she turned to look away Jolene caught her father out of the corner of her eye place a hand on her mother’s shoulder. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw them touch. Then her father snaked his arm around her mother and pulled her close against him. Her world now seemed upside-down and inside out. She clutched the back of the chair in front of her as her face got hot and her ears started to ring. A sudden wave of dizziness washed over her and she swayed a little. Mary rushed to her side and guided her to the other side of the chair. “You okay doc?”
Jolene swallowed hard. “I don’t feel so good.”
Mary snatched a nearby trash can and handed it over to Jolene just in time for her to throw up inside of it. Everyone rushed to her side. Her mother felt her forehead and her father’s face grew pale. The ringing in her ears grew louder and her vision started to tunnel. She felt her body fall back against the chair as she blacked out.
Chapter Eight
St. Paul’s Methodist Church
September 11, 2001
10:00 AM
“Wake up Jo-Jo.” Jolene felt a hand tapping her on the side of the cheek and heard the far-off voices of her friends and family frantically calling out to her. Her mother’s high pitched voice rose above the din. “Come on baby. Wake up.”
Jolene tried to shake the persistent fog that hung over her. Someone pressed a cup to her lips and she opened her mouth to drink. The cold water felt good—a welcome gift for her parched mouth. She forced her eyes to open. The bright lights hurt, but she opened her eyes wide to take in the concerned faces all around her.
“That-a-girl.”
“She’s coming around.”
Jolene tried to sit up, but a wave of dizziness overcame her and she fell back.
“Whoa...take it easy sugar,” her father patted her shoulder and put some rolled up cloth underneath her head. “You fainted.”
“Did you eat anything? You have to eat and drink, baby.” Her mother fiddled with her dress and her hair.
Jolene took in a slow breath and let her eyes slip closed. She appreciated their concern, but honestly wanted nothing more than to be left alone for a few moments.
“Alright everyone, let’s back up and give her some space to breathe.” Mary’s strong voice bellowed through the room. When Jolene opened her eyes again, everyone stepped away from her. She eyed her best friend and sent a silent thank you message. Mary gave her more to drink and shot her a secretive wink. “Why don’t one of you run out and get our bride something to eat.”
“Your mother and I can go and get you something to eat, dear.” Her father and mother jumped to the task and scurried out of the room.
Jolene let out a sigh of relief. Eating would be a good idea since she vomited up her breakfast. The baby. Thoughts of her unborn child did little to settle her tumultuous stomach. Especially knowing she would have to tell her family...tell Bennie. Until she told the father she supposed she should keep that bit of information to herself. And today was hardly the day to say anything, for a variety of reasons. She certainly didn’t want people thinking that she and Bennie had to get married.
“You okay, doc?” Mary squatted down beside her. Worry lines etched her otherwise smooth forehead. “You were really out there for a minute.”
“I just need to eat.”
Mary glanced down at her and her abdomen and the secret that hid inside of her. “What’re you gonna do?” Mary cleared her throat and glanced away from her. “I mean, when are you going to tell him?”
“Never.” She knew with everything going on in the world that her pregnancy surprise was just a drop in the bucket of misery, but still…
“Never?”
Jolene groaned. “No, I don’t know.”
“Do you want to sit up?” Mary offered her a hand.
Jolene let Mary help her into a sitting position and then smoothed out her skirt and hair, something in her universe that she had control over. “I think I’m going to go take a trip to the ladies room and freshen up.”
Mary’s eyebrow rose to form a high point. “You need help?”
Jolene laughed as she got to her feet with care. “No, I think I got this covered, but thank you for the offer.”
Mary held up her hands and laughed. Amy and Karen walked back into the room smelling of smoke and alcohol. They sulked back into the room and sunk back down onto the sofa. Must mean she still hadn’t heard from her father. Jolene couldn’t imagine what she must be going through. Not knowing is always worse. Always.
Jolene walked down the hall to the bathroom when a sound caught her attention. Something or someone was in the coat closet between the two ready rooms. From where she stood she could hear moaning and heaving breathing coming through the wood doors. A cold prickle broke out across her bare skin as she reached for the door.
“Oh, Peter!”
Jolene’s froze when she heard her mother moaning her father’s name. Her stomach roiled. She stepped back only to bump into Will.
“Hey, gal, I wouldn’t open that door,” Will whispered into her ear.
Jolene turned to face him and he grabbed her by the wrist pulling her away from her parents. Is this why they were in such a hurry to run off and get her something to eat? And when did they start talking again? Her mind whirled with a million and one questions that she would have continued to obsess over if not for her friend trying in vain to suppress a laugh.
“I know you must be freaking out about now, but you should know people do crazy things in these types of situations. Everyone’s a little shaken up and they’re coping the best they can. Maybe all this life or death stuff made your folks realize how much they missed each other.” A sly smile flashed across his face.
Jolene balled up her fist and hit him hard in the gut, making him grunt. “You’re not funny.”
“Yeah, Mary doesn’t appreciate my humor either.”
“What’s the deal with you two?”
Will’s smile faded and he turned away from her. How did she miss something going on between them? After so many years of friendship, she felt remiss for being left out of the loop.
“She didn’t tell you, did she?” Will’s forehead scrunched up and his eyes darkened. She knew that brooding look, but couldn’t imagine what could make her normally jovial friend so upset.
“No. What’s going on? I don’t like you two fighting or whatever this is.”
“We aren’t fighting,” Mary said from behind them. “Because there’s nothing to fight about.”
Will turned to face her head on. “No, you’re right Mary. To fight, we’d have to talk. I ask you to get serious and you stop coming around or answering any of my calls.”
Jolene’s jaw dropped open and her breath caught in her throat. Did Will want to be exclusive? Wait, What? The idea of her two lifelong friends being an item shocked her. They liked to tease each other and once or twice she knew they got wasted and ended up in bed together, but hell, back in the day she even slept with Will once. It didn’t mean anything, or at least according to Mary, it never meant anything. But when she looked at her friend now she saw a different story. Is this why she’d been acting so weird? Why she went down on the dancer?
“Can you give us a moment, Jo?” Will pleaded with her with his wide-eyed puppy dog look.
Jolene nodded. “Sure thing.” She slunk off down the hall and turned the corner out of sight. With her back to the wall, she tried to eavesdrop on the conversation but their hushed voices made that impossible. After a few moments, she gave up and knocked softly on the door where Bennett and his groomsmen were hanging out. His youngest brother Kendall answered the door with his bowtie tangling untied over his neck. “Hey sister-to-be, you’re not supposed to be sniffing around here.”
“Can you tell Bennie to meet me in the confession booth?”
“I thought that’s a Catholic thing?”
“This used to be a Catholic church. They nev
er got rid of it.”
“That’s kinda—”
“Kendall, just tell him to meet me there in a few minutes. I need to talk to him.”
Kendall pursed his lips together and let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine.”
The door shut and Jolene stood in the hallway twisting her hands. She knew she would feel better after she talked to Bennett. He always knew what to say to make it all better and the five minutes she had with him earlier wasn’t nearly enough. She stepped outside, not wanting to walk through Will and Mary’s fight. The bright light made her squint. Despite the glare, she saw the limo driver smoking a cigarette and leaning against the car. She could hear the faint sounds of the radio wafting out the open window. “Any news?” she called out as she walked closer to him.
“There’s another crash. This one in a field in Pennsylvania. All planes are grounded too.” He took a long drag on his cigarette and let the smoke leak out of the side of his mouth. “The sky is so quiet without planes flying.”
A tremor ran through her body. She clutched her abdomen and sucked in an anxious breath. “Oh, my God!” When was this madness going to end? All those people, gone.
With the cigarette dangling out of his mouth he leaped to her side. “Hey, you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Jolene cupped her mouth and closed her eyes for a moment before she opened them again. “I should probably go back inside.”
“Best wishes, ma’am. I hear it’s good luck for a marriage when things go bad at a wedding. A tornado took out the chapel my folks got married in. They ended up saying their I do’s in the dark storm cellar under the church. And they’ve been together for over thirty-five years.”
She didn’t think that a tornado and a massive terrorist attack on the country were even remotely the same things, but she didn’t have the heart to get into that with him. She didn’t care about her wedding now, either. All she could think about were all the families who lost loved ones and the countless other families like Karen’s who didn’t know.
“Thank you,” Jolene said. “My friends are going to worry about me if I don’t get back inside.” She didn’t want to keep Bennett waiting and risk the chance that he would give up and go back to the room again.
The driver flicked his cigarette ash on the ground and scratched the five o'clock shadow on his chin. His eyes were bloodshot and he smelled like whiskey. Maybe Will was right; everyone seemed to be coping the best they could. “Run along inside, Miss.”
Jolene turned and walked around the building to the front and went through the big double doors. The cool air of the chapel sent a chill through her and her shoulders shook. Her shoes clicked on the stone floor as she made her way over to the confession booth. She held back the curtain and stepped inside. On the other side, the divider slid open. “There you are, I was about to leave. Thought maybe Ken was playing a trick on me.”
Jolene placed her hand on the lattice framing separating them. “Everything’s going to shit.”
Bennett shifted in the booth beside her. “You okay, Jo?”
“No,” she sniffed. “I don’t think I am.”
“Talk to me,” he said.
The tears fell in earnest and she hiccupped. His comforting and concerned tone coupled with the effort of holding it all in proved to be too much for her.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Bennett’s voice dropped low, just above a whisper like he was on the verge of tears himself. “You’re worrying me.”
Jolene sucked in a breath and squeezed her eyes shut. Try as she might she couldn’t calm her racing heart. She began to hyperventilate and another wave of dizziness rushed over her. The confessional began to shrink, closing in on her. She jumped to her feet and flung back the curtain, spilling out into the front vestibule. Once out in the open, she gulped the air like water and clutched her chest. The curtain in the adjoining booth threw open and out tumbled Bennett.
“This is stupid.” He reached for her and she crumpled against him.
Screw superstition. With her world crumpling at her feet, she needed the comfort of her man. The only person, who got her, loved her, no matter what. Their day already seemed to be a disaster, how much worse would it possibly get?
“Hey, it’s alright. I’m here. Shh….” He smoothed back her hair and rubbed circles across the middle of her back. “Whatever’s going on, we can get through it together. Just like we always do.” He kissed the top of her head and she let out a sight. The tightness in her shoulders loosened and her heartbeat started to return to normal. “Talk to me.”
Jolene sniffed back her tears and wiped her eyes. She rested her head against his firm chest and took a deep breath. “Terrorists are crashing planes all over the country, Karen’s dad could have died in the attack in New York. I know it’s self-centered to worry about my own problems right now, but, I’m pregnant, shipping out tomorrow, my parents are playing seven minutes in heaven in the coat closet, and Will and Mary are fighting about a relationship I didn’t even know they had.”
Once the heavy words left her mouth, she could finally breathe again. Until she realized what she said. This isn’t the way she wanted him to hear the news. Bennett’s hold on her got tighter, stiffer, and he held his breath. Even though she was scared, she looked up at his stunned expression. “Bennie?”
“I-uh...I think I need to sit down.” Bennett’s knees buckled.
Jolene led him to the nearest bench and sat him down. The fluff of her dress made it difficult to sit beside him so she sat down on the ground in front of him with the wide skirt of her dress pooling around her. Bennett’s face grew ashen and he stared off into nowhere. When she touched his knee, it seemed to break the spell because he looked down at her and a slow smile unfolded across his face.
“Bennie?”
Chapter Nine
St. Paul’s Methodist Church
September 11, 2001
11:00 AM
Bennett cupped his mouth, but Jolene could see the corner of a smile peeking out from between his fingers. He gazed at her in silence. Jolene’s breathing became shallow and her heart fluttered in anticipation. Why wasn’t he saying anything? She couldn’t bring herself to say another word so she sat there worrying her hands. Bennett’s hand slid off his face, revealing a wide grin. With agonizing slowness, he opened his mouth to speak at last.
“I’m gonna be a daddy?”
Jolene bit her bottom lip and nodded. In all her wildest thoughts, she never imagined that his response would be so warm and welcoming. Even after so many years together, he still surprised her. “You’re not upset?”
“Why would I be upset?”
“I don’t know. It’s not what we planned.”
Bennett laughed and scratched the top of his head. “No. It’s not what we planned. But we can make new plans. Better ones. For us and for our family.”
The word family melted away some of her anxiety. No matter what they would always be tied together by the child that grew inside of her and knowing that offered her a small amount of comfort. Bennett’s smile started to fade and the light in his eyes darkened. “You’re leaving tomorrow.”
Jolene could only nod. She knew if she opened her mouth she would start to bawl again.
“Are you still leaving? Does this change your deployment?”
“It shouldn’t unless there are complications--”
Bennett stared down at her wide-eyed. “Complications! Like what?”
Before they could say another word, Will and Mary came charging through the church towards the front door, seemingly not even noticing them.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me!” Will’s shouts echoed in the empty church.
Mary whipped around to face him. She rested her hands on her hips and her upper lip curled up in a snarl. “Oh, really? Watch me!”
She turned and kept going. Jolene knew Mary well enough to stay quiet and not get involved. So, when her friend came towards her, she jumped out of the way and stood with her back against the wall by
Bennett.
Will ripped off his jacket and flung it on the pew beside him and followed fast on Mary’s heals. “Woman, you are so infuriating!”
Mary paused on her way out the door and turned back to face Will. “I’m infuriating you?”
The two stood only a few feet away from each other. The air crackled with their mutual anger. Jolene couldn’t remember ever seeing Will this angry. His normal calm therapeutic tone seemed to be gone. As a trained grief counselor, he always spoke up as the voice of reason when things didn’t go well or an argument became heated. All of that even temperament seemed to have vanished. She glanced over at Bennett, who shrugged his shoulders. Apparently, he didn’t know quite what was going on either.
“Yes. You are.” Will’s words came out in a hiss. The muscles of his jaw twitched and a thick vein on his forehead pulsed. “You can’t push me out. I get a say.”
“No, you don’t.” Mary’s face and neck turned beet red. “My body. My choice.”
“The baby didn’t get there all by himself.” Will took in a deep breath and continued. “It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me. All I want is to be a part of the decision of what happens to our child.”
Jolene’s chest tightened her stomach flip-flopped. Could her best friend be pregnant too? Why didn’t she say anything before? Mary’s eyes watered and her lower lip trembled. Jolene couldn’t remember the last time she saw her cry.
Mary’s reaction seemed to have an influence on Will. His shoulders dropped and his voice softened. “I love you, and I know you love me too.”
“I do not,” Mary said.
Will smiled and grabbed at her hand. “Yes, you do.”
Mary looked away, but Jolene could see the tears slide down her friend’s rosy cheeks. Will took her by the hand and pulled her close. “I love you, Mary Martha McKenzie. I always have, and I always will.” He touched her cheek and wiped away her tears. “No matter how hard you fight me, I’m not going anywhere.” He tipped up her chin and kissed her.