by Maggie Way
“Hello?” A gravelly-voiced Adrianna spoke softly. “Jaxon, I think we need to discuss time zones.” She chuckled, some of the raspiness having cleared out of her voice.
“Sorry, I didn’t think this could wait.”
“What’s wrong?” Urgency blared with the small question and she sounded fully alert.
“Nothing alarming... sorry. I’m deploying.” He lets the words hang on the air, trying to give her time to process them.
“You mean you’re going someplace dangerous, not being moved from Germany?”
Blowing out a deep breath he rubbed his thumb and index finger over his brow, sighing. “That is exactly what I mean.”
“And you’re calling to see what I think of it.”
He could practically hear the wheels turning in her head. He’d always admired her intelligence, but knowing she could do it fresh out of sleep was impressive.
“What do you think of it? Of us?”
A shuffling sound came through the phone before she responded and an image of her naked, shifting in the sheets brought out a low growl of desire from him. Biting the inside of his cheek, he brought himself out of his short-lived fantasy.
“I think that I knew going into this that you were in the military and not just living in Germany.”
The silence between them seemed to stretch nearly as long as the distance. The sound of her breathing through the phone was steady, nothing to indicate she was ramping up for a fight or something she found negative. Taking the chance, he spoke.
“So what you’re saying is that as long as I come back in one piece, you’re still interested?”
Her throaty chuckle set him at ease the moment he heard it. The tension in his body seemed to melt away, leaving him calm for the first time since admitting his feelings to Adrianna on Saturday.
“What I’m saying is that you come back alive, one piece or not, and I’m interested. A girl doesn’t wait half her life only to give up at the first sign of difficulty. I trust you not to do something suicidal and to communicate with me as best as you can.” She paused. “Which will be how?”
He bit his tongue, the sharp spike of pain helping him to refrain from mentioning that he would do whatever he was commanded to do and the he had in fact placed himself in rather suicidal positions in the past to rescue those in need.
“Have I mentioned you’re a pretty amazing lady?”
A louder laugh that time. “I think you mentioned as often as I told you how awesome I thought you were. Now, don’t avoid the question. If the answer is never, I’m okay with that. Remember, I went years without speaking to you.”
The playfulness in her tone shocked him. He’d only dated two other women since joining the Marines and neither of them had been even slightly understanding about what his work entailed. He’d always known Adrianna was cool under pressure, he just hadn’t realized that would extend to all facets of her life, and not just calming down his crazy sister.
“Jaxon?” There was a slight warning edge to her tone.
“Right, sorry. We’re going to Iraq – to help watch over the construction sites. It’s still dangerous, but it’s not the same thing as deploying ten years ago when I was in boot camp. I’ll more than likely have access to email once a day, with the shot of a Skype call here and there. It really depends on how many men and women are sharing the same computers, but I promise you, it won’t be radio silent. Deployments of any kind rarely our with the technology we have now.”
“And when do you leave?”
“A few days.”
“For how long?”
“Are you interviewing me, Miss Laurant?” He chuckled despite himself, enjoying the way she’d interrogated him without it feeling like a stereotypical interrogation.
“Only for the information I need.”
He could practically hear the grin in her voice.
“We’re slated for only a few months, but there’s never certainty in that.”
“I figured as much. Very well then, if you leave in a few days that means I expect lavish, romantic Facebook messages and at least one long distance FaceTime from you before you leave. Other than that, I’ll get you my email and you let me know you’re alive whenever you are able to.”
“Very low maintenance, Miss Laurant.”
“Then you should have no problem complying.” She whispered coyly.
“The only problem I’m having is that it’s early morning, I’m sitting in a car on base and you just my dick rise to attention.”
A smothered chuckle was his only response, leading him to smile to himself. He’d waited nearly fifteen years to see what dating Adrianna would be like, and even if this was stereotypical dating, he was beginning to realize he’d been a fool for no talking to her before.
“Get some more sleep – dream about all the things I’m thinking about doing to you right this very minute and we’ll talk soon.”
“Jax,” she groaned.
Immediately he had an image of her hand slipping underneath the top sheet and under the waistband of her panties. His cock throbbed to the point of pain and he knew that going home to prepare for a deployment was also going to include making certain he didn’t die of blue balls first, assuming he could even drive safely with how badly he wanted to sink into Adrianna’s warm body.
“I’m hanging up now before I’m completely incapacitated. Goodbye, Adrianna.” Dropping the cell phone into passenger seat he blew out a deep breath. Of all the things he hadn’t expected in life, being so utterly wrapped up in a woman was not one of them. It wasn’t just the way she made him feel as horny as a teenager either, she was quite literally the whole package. Brilliant, level-headed, passionate, independent and fun to be around. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin it before they even had a chance to get started.
“Probably a good thing she’s okay with your career then,” he muttered as he started the car. There was next to nothing for him to do, most military kept their bags ready to go, but he enjoyed the thought of a day off before they came back tomorrow to start mission training.
Chapter Seven
“Everything okay, Miss Laurant?” Becky, the studio’s makeup artist asked as she dapped a bit of pink gloss onto Adrianna’s lips. “You seem a bit distracted today.”
Adrianna looked into the mirror – the only way she could look at her stylist without being scolded – and offered her a wistful smile. She hadn’t spoken to anyone at work about her relationship. It wasn’t that she was ashamed, or worried what people would think, she didn’t want to jinx it. For years she’d dreamed about calling Jaxon her boyfriend, and whether or not he actually had that title at the current moment, it sure felt like he did.
“I’m fine, though I probably am more distracted than I’d like to admit.”
Becky smirked, her bouncy brown curls shaking as she laughed while applying a touch of blush to Adrianna’s cheeks. “That screamed man problems so loudly I’d be remiss if I didn’t pry further.”
Genuinely smiling, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m seeing someone. It’s only a few weeks old and I didn’t want to put bad juju on it.”
“Well, then you don’t need to tell me anymore. You know I’ve been trying to set you up for the better part of three years so I’m excited someone was finally able to win your attentions.”
Chuckling, she couldn’t help but talk about Jaxon. “It’s more that I snagged his attention.”
Becky’s eyes widened as she pulled off the makeup bib. “Now I feel like I need more.” She titled her wrist to look at her watch. “Good thing I never need time to do a full coverage makeup on you, you’re beautiful with just the basics.”
Becky had been commenting her skin for five years, so all she did was smile politely. “When I was younger I had the biggest, stupidest crush on my best friend’s older brother.”
“The one that got married last month?”
“Mhm. That’s the one. At her wedding we sort of... ah... fell into bed togeth
er. I was caught up in such a haze it wasn’t until after he left I realized he was interested in me and it hadn’t all been some wedding induced lust.”
The smile on Becky’s face was wide enough to be seen all the way in the French Quarter, which they were nowhere near. “Well I’ll be damned. So where is this handsome older man you pinned over for years now?”
Sighing, she stood up from the chair. “Deployed.”
Becky’s expression faltered slightly, like a mom trying to conceal her sadness in front of her child. “Well, I’ll keep his safety in my prayers tonight.” Becky patted her shoulder. “Well then, you’re all set.”
“Thank you, Becky. I know he’s in mine and a little extra couldn’t hurt.”
Walking toward the break table she couldn’t help but think of Jaxon. True to his word he had given her a video call pretty much from the airfield. She’d seen couples hugging just behind him and only her training to remain impassive as a reporter had kept her from falling apart as they’d said what could potentially turn into their final goodbye. There had never been a moment in her life where she’d wanted to be in a different place more than that goodbye. She’d wanted to hold onto him, to memorize his touch one last time in case something had happened. Instead, she’d smiled as brightly as she could and wished him well, reminding him he now had someone else anxiously waiting for his return.
“A return that is still at least two months away.” She grumbled, grabbing an apple and taking a bite.
“You say something?” Tommy, her co-anchor, said around a mouthful of salad.
“Just venting. Sorry.”
“Well if it’s enough to get you to talk to yourself aloud about, I’ll be sure to steer clear and not set you off tonight.” He winked and walked away, off to talk to production assistant.
She needed to shake off thoughts of Jaxon, it wasn’t like her to bring her personal life to work and she hated that she clearly had. Probably because you’ve heard from him once in the past three weeks. The bitter thought sounded terribly hostile in her mind and she guilt instantly washed over her for thinking she had any right to be annoyed.
Jaxon had done everything he’d promised to do – which meant the real reason she was being so snarky and unwound was that not hearing from him made her worry. She knew if anything bad had happened Kailey or Mr. Donovan would have let her know, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that not everything was going as smoothly as it should be.
In undergrad, she’d been friends with a girl dating a man in the Air Force. When he’d deployed it had been one girl’s night out after the next as a way to distract her. Adrianna had watched as her friend had taken every moment of silence as a negative sign, when in reality it was probably perfectly fine.
“Too bad when it’s the person you care about on deployment you don’t really care too much about the stupid adage no news is good news.”
“Five minutes, places.” A new production assistant called out through the large space. “Five minutes till live.”
Sighing, she pushed all thoughts of Jaxon out of her mind and took her place behind the large, white counter-like desk. Tommy sat next to her and smiled. “Good luck, kid.” He whispered before turning to face the cameras.
It was something of a tradition between them. Ever since the network thought it would be wise to pair up a seasoned anchor with a newbie, he’d been wishing her good luck. The small gesture did always seem to calm her down.
“Hello, New Orleans, and welcome to the five o’clock evening news.” Tommy started, sounding just as loud in their earpieces as he did to the cameras. “Tonight, we bring you the news you –”.
A breaking news bulletin flashed on the teleprompter and she stopped listening to Tommy. Her heart seemed to stop beating as the words came out of Tommy’s mouth.
“This just in, we’re sorry to report troops in the Middle East have been met with gunfire. No further details at this time, but we’ll bring you the news as it comes in.”
Bile filled her mouth, the acidic taste seemingly mocking her as she forced her smile to remain in place. Images shot about her mind in rapid fire – Jaxon on the ground bleeding, Jaxon helplessly trying to save someone’s life, Jaxon lying in a puddle of blood, his eyes closed for ever. A gasp escaped her, and she quickly covered it with a cough.
“Sorry about that, New Orleans, I guess I need some water.” She forced a laugh and a placid smile to hid the way her stomach churned.
Tommy made a crack of some sort and continued on. A chill began to envelope her, starting at her heart and quickly making its way to her extremities. Jaxon couldn’t be injured, he just couldn’t be. Besides, there has to be more than one troop in the Middle East, we don’t even know where yet.
The thought helped to slow her breathing. Slowly, she regained her control, convinced that the news bulletin couldn’t possibly have any relation to Jaxon. Her nerves however, were fried. Keeping a smile on her face was more work than it had ever been and for the first time in five years, she wasn’t listening to anything, just reading the words the words on the screen before her to get through the hour.
“That’s all New Orleans,” Tommy started.
“And goodnight.” She finished, still in a haze.
“That’s a wrap!” A cameraman somewhere to their left hollered.
Her shoulders sagged as a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding was expelled.
“You okay, kid?” Tommy asked, his brown eyes scrunched up with concern as he swiveled in the chair to face her.
Tears sprung into her eyes and she was unable to stop them as they fell.
“Oh, goodness. Kid, it’s all right. What happened?” Tommy didn’t hug her – that would be inappropriate – but he did place his hand on her shoulder and look at her with all the concern she’d ever seen from him.
She sighed, feeling completely embarrassed but unable to stop herself. “I’m seeing someone who’s currently deployed to Iraq.”
“Shit,” Tommy ran a hand over his thick gray hair and leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry, Adrianna. If you need anything, we’re all here for you.”
Nodding, she tried her best to blink away the tears, but her vision remained clouded by them. She didn’t get to respond before an announcement was shouted.
“Great production tonight. Meet in the conference room as usual to discuss.” Louis, the producer, called with a smile.
Closing her eyes, she felt the final tears fall. When she opened them, Tommy was still looking at her with apprehension.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” Because that’s all you can tell yourself until you talk to the Donovan’s. She thought nervously as she pushed back from the anchor desk.
Jaxon couldn’t shake the ringing from his ears. It had been nearly six hours since a surprise grenade and gunfire had thrown the entire basecamp into a frenzy. Six hours of absolute and utter hell. He thought to himself as he leaned back in the rickety wooden chair. By the grace of God, or whatever deity looked over battlefields, no one had been seriously injured. Two of the local contractor’s had taken some pretty close-call bullets, but were out of medical and completely fine. As far as he knew no one had lost a limb and none in his unit had suffered from a bad injury.
That hadn’t stopped him from spiraling down a dark path. The bright, sweltering heat of the desert had dissipated the moment the sand had exploded into the air. He’d been in an abandoned building of some sort down in the slums of Brazil. Blood seeped from a stab wound to his thigh, and the youngest member of the tactical team lay with her head in Jaxon’s lap, life rushing out.
He’d slammed to the ground, determined to cover the imaginary figure of a man long dead from the situation that was happening around him. His mind was trapped, only seeing as the life filtered out of the young woman’s eyes.
The shouting had penetrated, though he couldn’t say for sure if he understood what was being shouted or if he’d only heard his old commanding officer shouting for them to move as the
y’d raced from the building, dodging a hail fire of bullets as they ran for their vehicle.
“What happened here today was not something we could conceal from our country.” The base commander spoke, drawing all heads toward him. “We were fortunate today that those who attacked suffered from severe bad aim and poorly coordinated efforts. The government assures us that what we experienced does not represent the whole. A small faction does not want us here – they feel we have no business helping them after all we’ve done.”
A few people grunted and Jaxon knew his head was nodding in agreement. He would do anything for his country, and he admired that they took responsibly over the damage the War on Terror caused to locations that had no business being battlegrounds. However, he’d never been keen on sending men and women to a land where they are highly undesired. Granted, if they didn’t, his unit wouldn’t even be deployed.
“I don’t know how many of you have been out here since the war itself was declared over. When an incident like this happens, everyone gets a shot at phoning home. No news is good news is all well and good, but with social media fucking with things, we want everyone to make a cursory call. You will be granted a short, five-minute call to the person of your choice. Rank supersedes all in the order, but those with dependents will go first.”
Jaxon’s mouth gaped open at the oddity of the policy. Though he figured it made a great deal of sense. Social media meant any death or injury could be leaked if the wrong source got hold of information that didn’t belong to them.
Looking down at his hand he noticed the slight shake as it rested on his leg. He’d gone through countless therapy sessions after each mission and not one had found him mentally unfit, not one had checked that horrid little box for PTSD.
That didn’t mean he hadn’t felt like he had it. Each round of gunfire was different than the one before it. Most times, his head was where it belonged in the present. Every once and awhile, when he hadn’t had more than a few hours of sleep, he slipped away to any number of deaths he’d witnessed to gunfire or IUDs. In the beginning he’d felt like less of a man for it. As he’d continued to grow within the Marines he understood that they all did. Not one person walked away from a wartime tour of duty without being affected. PTSD was a label, but that didn’t mean they all fit within that label.