“I do have an internal clock, boss,” Geezer replied a bit testily.
“I’m aware of that, Geezer, but I’m not equipped with one and so I get a little antsy after seeing that 15 minutes has passed since the last time I checked the clock. Especially, when I’ve heard nothing from my engineer.”
“Sorry, chief. A bit frazzled is all. Status is that we’re going to have props in about 70 minutes.”
“That’ll put us at about 10 minutes after exploding, Geezer.”
“I know, but I have an idea for that. All we really need is the ability to shift off course. I already have a couple of workers putting some thrust on the side. We can use that to just do a flyby on that station. They’ll be done in 15-20 minutes, tops.”
Harr nodded. “Good enough for me. I just don’t want to hit it. We can always build up the rest in order to get back.”
“Exactly.”
“Is Yek’s deployment ready?”
“Oh yeah, he’s all set.”
“Is he in there?”
“Yep, chief. What’s up?”
“Since the side thrust is all we need right now, make an excuse and meet me in my quarters in 5 minutes.”
“Uhhh …”
“Seriously? You too? Just get there!”
When Geezer arrived, Harr took a quick look around the hallway before clicking the door shut.
“Geezer, you’re basically the only, well, person on this damned ship that I can trust. Everyone else, except for Yek …”
“Psycho.”
“… exactly …well, the rest of them are all androids.”
“You didn’t know that?”
“I had no idea. How did you know?”
“I’m a robot.”
“Right. Anyway, you’re more like me than they are …”
“Again, honcho, I’m a robot.”
“Yeah, but were you made by the Kortnor?”
Geezer’s head shot up at that. “You’re shitting me.”
“I wish I were, Geezer. The entire crew, minus you, me, and Yek are all from the Kortnor.”
“Doesn’t that strike you as stupid?”
“Incredibly so.”
“Who did this?”
“Parfait and the rest of the brass,” Harr said. “Yek’s plan was to attack the station and Parfait couldn’t get a crew, so he and the other brass contracted the Kortnor to build these babies out. Yek doesn’t even know about it.”
“That’s … amazing.”
“Yeah, but I’m finding that these androids are actually pretty decent folks, aside from Jezden.”
“And Hank Moon.”
Harr shrugged. “He’s okay. Not my lifestyle, but I don’t judge.”
“Back in my day …”
“You’re a robot, it’s still your day.”
“Not compared to these androids.”
“Fair enough. Anyway, the point is that the real problem here is Yek. He’s got the brass so wound up that they’re crapping curlicues. We’re about to be the impetus of a war because one whack job wants to attack an outpost that he claims is spying on the Segnal System.”
“But they built the androids.”
“Again, he doesn’t know that.”
Geezer digitally grunted and then pulled out his rag and began wiping his hands. Harr found it interesting that, while Geezer certainly didn’t have the look down that the androids did, he acted incredibly human. His personality was predictable, sure, but he got it, which probably was to do with being around humans for so many years.
“So we’re still going through with this mission?”
“As far as Yek and everyone else is concerned, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”
“But …” Geezer said in a drawn out way that implied he was expecting more.
Harr grinned and told him the plan.
DERAILED
Before returning to the bridge, Harr made a quick stop in to see Yek.
The man had built up a nice cozy living space for himself in the center lifeboat. Harr guessed that if you were going to blow up in a fit of dust you may as well be comfortable doing it.
“Want to bring along a magazine or something, Yek?”
Yek grunted in response as he threw in another pillow.
“You realize that it doesn’t matter how many cushions you put in there, right?”
“Is there something you need, Murphy?”
“I’m assuming you’re already aware of the rails situation,” Harr said, “so I’m not going to get into that with you. We’ll thrust out far enough to give us a decent strafing angle. Once I’m confident we’re at a safe enough distance, I’ll signal to have your arsenal launched at the station.”
In a flash, Yek appeared at Harr’s chin and was eyeballing him something fierce. “No mistakes, Harr. If anyone screws up, I’ll hold you responsible.”
Harr gazed down at Yek and said, “Well, I am in charge of this mission, so who else would you blame?”
“Exactly.”
“Right,” Harr said, stepping back. “Well, good luck with dying and all that, Yek. Can’t say I’ll miss you.”
He bolted down the ramp and called out to Geezer as he passed the engine room, “We should be hitting the rails any minute now, Geezer. Get ready to fire thrusters.”
“I’m on it, honcho!”
Two rungs at a time was becoming commonplace for Harr, now, as he climbed to the bridge. Not many ships still used the ladder system. Harr could only think of one and that was a training craft that he’d been on back in camp.
“Sir,” Sandoo said as Harr crested the hole in the floor, “we’re about 30 seconds out.”
“Everyone strap in and ready yourselves,” Harr called out as he dropped into his chair and hooked up his seatbelt.
The next few seconds seemed to take an eternity. There wasn’t a recorded event in the last 20 years of a ship jumping the rail. Ever since the clamp upgrades that became the norm for any new ships, it just didn’t happen. Of course the rails themselves never broke either, which was kind of necessary since the clamp upgrades relied on the rails staying intact. But this was meant to happen. This was sabotage. Planned and enacted. And now, for the first time in a generation, a ship was going to go off the line and into space without a rope.
Harr could only hope that Geezer was as good as he’d claimed to be.
“3 … 2 … 1 …”
At first it felt like nothing had changed, except that the familiar click-clack sound had stopped.
Eyes darted this way and that before turning to look at Harr.
He had no response. What was he to say? They were floating in space without a tether. To point out the gravity of the situation would be foolish. There wasn’t a person on the boat, android or not, that didn’t know how dire their situation was. All they could do was wait for Geezer.
“Geezer,” Harr said through his comm, “we’re off the rail.”
“Figured as much, chief. No click-clacks and we’re on a slow rotation. Can’t rotate on a track.”
“What about gravity, Commodore?”
“Same as it was on the tracks, Sandoo.”
“But we’re rotating, sir!”
“Tell him to calm down,” Geezer yapped through the comm. “The Reluctant was built in an age where jumping the rails was a real concern. Everyone’s feet will stick to the floor on his boat, and not just due to the muck and grime. Be thankful, too! If they’d stuck us on one of the new ships you’d all be pissing in your own faces right about now.”
“Thanks for the commentary, Geezer,” Harr said. “Sandoo does bring up a good point though. If we’re rotating, what good will your thrusters do at pushing us away from that station? Don’t we have to be at the correct angle for that to happen?”
“Shit.”
DEPLOYED
The main screen showed an ever-growing image of the Kortnor space station as The SSMC Reluctant continued hurling toward it. Because of the spin of the ship, Geezer was trying
to sort out a way to apply thrust in the proper direction.
Harr had suggested that he just time the thrusts to when the ship was at the proper angle, but Geezer didn’t find that solution very elegant.
“That’s amateur, chief. What, just wait until we’re at the top-rotation and then do a burn for a few seconds? In my day, you could get flogged, robotically-speaking, for that kind of thinking.”
Commodore Harr pointed at the screen. “You see that station, Geezer? How elegant do you think smacking into that at our current rate is going to be?”
“Hmmm. I suppose we could just tap the thrusters a bit as a stop-gap solution.”
“Now you’re thinking.”
“Could always come up with something more fitting to the job later, as it were. I mean, we’re going to need a way to know which way is up, right?”
“We’re in space,” said Harr. “There is no up.”
“You know what I mean,” Geezer said, taking out his rag again. “Have to have some point of reference. Can’t go landing on one of our own planets or stations being upside-down, is all I’m saying.”
Harr saw no point in continuing the argument, especially since they were getting closer and closer to becoming a galactic statistic. He shooed Geezer back to work and turned his attention to the screen.
The Kortnor station looked just like the ones Harr had seen on the training videos. It was in the shape of a uniform polyhedron with varying shades of green. No standard windows could be seen, even on zoom, but there were thin gaps at each connectivity line that Harr assumed were used for external visuals.
As the station rotated, glints of reflective light hit it from Dipendo, the star that called sector 27 home.
Harr felt a change in pressure in the ship. It was barely perceptible.
Recognizing that an android would be more sensitive to these things, Harr said, “Commander, did you just feel that?”
“It was thrust, sir. Geezer has pushed us slightly.”
“Good.”
“Speaking of thrust,” started Jezden with a smile, and then obviously caught that Harr was having none of it and so he grumpily turned back to his station.
Over the next few minutes, Geezer was nearing the push of the ship off of a collision course, which meant that it was time to start the process of deploying Yek and his dastardly bomb.
“Sir,” Laasel called back, “we’re being hailed by the Kortnor.”
“On screen.”
A sleek, purple robot with glowing white eyes filled the main display. Where Geezer was blocky and antiquated, this thing had incredibly smooth edges and was obviously so far advanced that the highest level Segnal robots were comparatively toasters. Except, of course, for the androids on board. But, to be fair, they were made by the Kortnor.
“This is Prime Station Commander D9283. Why is your vessel heading toward us?”
“My name is Commodore Don Harr of The Reluctant. We have unfortunately jumped the rail system and are currently working on exiting your path. It should only be another few minutes before we’re cleared.”
“One moment,” said D9283.
“Sir,” Jezden said, looking back, “they’ve just moved their station completely out of our path.”
“Seriously?”
“Your android is correct,” said D9283.
“Android? Who’s he calling an android?”
Dammit.
“Probably just a figure of speech,” Harr said hastily. “Remember who we’re talking to.”
“No,” said D9283, “it’s not a figure of speech. Each member of your bridge crew is from the A17 line of androids, except for you, Commodore. You are human.”
“What’s he talking about?” Sandoo asked.
“I couldn’t tell you,” Harr replied with a shrug, which was mostly true … at least not yet. Then he turned back to the screen. “So, D9832 …”
“D9283, Commodore. D9832 is the Prime Station Designer.”
“My apologies. Anyway, thank you for moving your station for us. We will be out of your way in no time.”
D9283 bowed slightly. “I could send out D9817, our Prime Station In The Event An External Ship Needs Help Commander, if you find you need assistance.”
“You have a commander for that?”
“We have commanders for everything, Commodore.”
“I see,” he said, though he didn’t. “Well, we’ll let you know. For now, thanks for the help.”
“My pleasure,” said D9283. “Before we disconnect, I just ran a quick check with D7281, our Prime Android Warranty Control Manager, and it seems that the Segnal Space Marine Corps has not yet turned in the warranty cards on each of the androids that were contracted and purchased. Also, if you have time, D7281 would like to discuss an expanded warranty. According to the notes here, it would only be a few million extra credits per android and that would extend …”
“D9283,” Harr interrupted, “I’m sorry, but I don’t make those decisions, and, frankly, I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” He chose his words carefully, hoping that the logic check would be enough to make D9283 agree with his statement. “The humans on The Reluctant are all human. We have a Geezer, but he’s a robot.”
D9283 turned its head and said, “Yes, Commodore, these are obvious points. I am speaking of the …”
“Thank you again, D9283. We will be out of your space in no time. I’ll ask the brass at Segnal to get in touch with you regarding other matters.”
“Very well, Commodore. We at The Kortnor Robotic Command wish you a safe return to your rail.”
“Thanks,” Harr said while signaling Laasel to cut the connection.
“Sir?”
“Commander?”
“He was pretty adamant about us being androids.”
“Do you think you’re androids?” Harr asked, looking from face to face.
“How would we know?” Jezden said, crossing his arms.
“Wouldn’t you?”
“I don’t know if I would or wouldn’t!”
“Then does it really matter?” Harr jumped up from his seat and looked himself over. “I’m human, right? At least I think I am.”
“You look more like an android than anyone else on this ship, sir,” Sandoo said. “What with the hair, that fake tan, and those teeth.”
“Don’t forget the chin,” Jezden added.
“Yeah, that’s something else.”
“Anyway,” Harr said, throwing his hands up. “What if I’m not human? What if I’m an android and I’ve just been programmed to think I’m a human? Who cares? I don’t know it if I am, and, frankly, if I were an android, wouldn’t that be better?” He paused a second as all the “brains” calculated that. “I’d be stronger, faster, disease-free, have a longer lifespan, and a ton of other pluses that being human wouldn’t offer me.”
“Honcho?” Geezer said through the main channel, thankfully interrupting the discussion on the bridge.
“Go, Geezer.”
“We’re just about set to launch Yek.”
“He’s sealed in?”
“Tightly, and I’ve updated the calculations for the new trajectory.”
“Fire when ready.”
“Hey, Harr,” Yek said in his nasty voice. “It’s been a pleasure serving with you. Not.”
Even through the comm Yek was just creepy.
“Special Agent Yek,” Harr said, squaring his shoulders, “your payload will be deployed at the new trajectory and you will soon meet with the destiny that you surely deserve. Geezer, launch when ready!”
The pressure in the ship changed and the main screen showed Yek’s complement zoom out at massive speed.
A few moments later, Yek said, “I have to hand it to you, Commodore, launching me toward the star instead of the space station is a brilliant attempt, but I fear you have underestimated me.”
Harr’s blood froze.
“While your stupid ass robot was working on propulsion, I was building out a series of sh
ifters myself. I have complete directional control.”
“You’re a stupid ass,” Geezer retaliated.
“On screen,” Harr commanded Laasel.
The angle of Yek’s lifeboat configuration was indeed changing. At the rate he was turning, Yek would be pointing back toward the Kortnor station in no time.
“Weapons control,” Harr said to the crewman that Jezden had visited in the closet earlier, “can you target and destroy Yek?”
“Ha ha ha,” said Yek, humorlessly. “You are so slow witted, Commodore. In order to win against the likes of me, you truly need to think multiple steps ahead.”
“Sir, the weapons systems are down.”
“Damn it.”
“Of course they’re down, Harr,” Yek said. “I fully anticipated you would attempt something stupid like this. Oh, and do note that I did warn you about going against me, Commodore. You will find a nice boom boom of your own soon enough.”
“What is he talking about?” Sandoo said, frantically.
“He’s likely rigged something up on this ship.”
“Likely?” Yek said. “More like assuredly, I assure you.”
“Shut off the comm from Special Agent Redundant, Lieutenant.”
“Who?”
“Just shut off Yek’s channel, please!”
SECOND CONTACT
“Hello again, Commodore,” said D9283 via the main video panel.
“Hey there, D9283,” replied Harr and then added, “… did I get that right?”
“That’s correct, yes. What can we do for you?”
“Good. Well, we’re in a bit of a pickle.”
“The SSMC Reluctant has been subject to anaerobic fermentation by brine or vinegar?”
Harr started to reply and then stopped and squinted. “Ah,” he said, forcing a smile, “I was just using a metaphor. What I mean is that we have an issue and we could really use your assistance.”
“How may we help?”
“Do you see that lifeboat configuration headed toward your station?”
D9283 turned its head for a moment and then said, “Affirmative.”
“Well, it’s full of explosives.”
“Pardon?”
“The lifeboat in the middle contains a Segnal Special Agent that has essentially lost his mind. The four surrounding lifeboats have been taken apart and turned into missiles.”
Platoon F: Pentalogy Page 7