“Are they dead?” asked Cloof.
A couple of the men went over to check them.
“Just knocked out, sir.”
“Right.” Cloof looked around at all the terrified faces. “Well, I’d say that the Witch Holding Cell seems empty. Wouldn’t you?”
Everyone nodded emphatically.
“We didn’t see a thing, did we?”
They all shook their heads.
He leaned toward his second-in-command. “Jethers, you know my take on witches.”
“Same as mine, sir,” Jethers responded in a hoarse voice, keeping his eyes on the fallen guards. “They’re not…real.”
“Maybe we were wrong?”
“We may have been, sir.”
BACK TO THE SHIP
After the guards had opened the door and Sandoo, Curr, and Middleton had fired their weapons, the sound outside died down.
They waited a few minutes before moving, just in case the guards were planning a stronger volley. When nothing came, Sandoo moved forward and sneaked a look outside. The area was empty. Even the three guards that had been shot were gone, though there were tracks in the mud that showed they’d been dragged away.
I think they all left, said Sandoo to the crews. Just in case, though, we’ll keep these silly outfits on and treat Ensign Ridly as if she’s our prisoner.
Wouldn’t they expect us to be coming here, though, sir?
I thought of that, Ensign Middleton. They probably would, but we’ll just tell them that it’s official business, which will mean it’s none of theirs, if you catch my meaning.
Aye, aye, sir.
Commander Sandoo was the first to step out into the night. Once he felt everything was clear, he motioned the others to follow him.
Walking in a triangle formation, with Sandoo at the point, Middleton taking left rear, Curr taking right rear, and Ridly walking directly behind Sandoo as if she were caged in, they made their way to the main entrance.
Oddly, there were no guards within sight as they casually walked to the edge of town. Only then did a couple of soldiers look them over, shrug, and move along their way.
Sandoo, not one to feel overconfident regarding anything, peered over his shoulder and saw a massive contingent of guards following them from a distance. Many were peeking out from behind buildings. Others were hiding behind their comrades.
He didn’t want to turn the heads of the others as that would only cause panic. Instead, he turned his gaze forward again, adjusted his hearing, and listened carefully as he continued his walk.
“What do you suppose they’re doing, sir?” he heard one of the guards behind them saying.
“Well, Jethers, I’m not a betting man because, well—”
“It’d be a sin, sir.”
“Exactly. But if I were a betting man, I’d say that they’ve found the queen witch and they’re leaving with her, and that’s fine by me.”
“But we don’t actually believe in witches, remember?”
“My memory isn’t what it used to be, Jethers, and I’d suggest that yours not be either.”
Commander Sandoo smiled as he continued walking up the path, until the two guards at the post stopped them.
“Who are you, then?” asked the one guard.
“We’re guards from the north,” said Sandoo.
“Hey, Roger,” said the other guard, pointing in the distance, “what do you suppose is going on over there?”
“Quiet, Branson. Can’t you see I’m working here?” The guard grunted and looked back at Sandoo. “Hard to get good help these days.”
“Yes.”
“Anyway, you’re guards from the north, eh?”
“Yes.”
“Didn’t know we had a post up north,” said Roger.
“Never seen so many guards pulled together like that, Roger. Something just isn’t right.”
Roger turned toward Branson. “Look, you, I’m only going to say this once: when I’m working, you’re quiet, yeah? Now shut your trap and let me get through this proper-like.”
“Don’t you talk to me like that,” Branson said, puffing out his chest. “You’re not my boss.”
“Oh no? I’ve been on guard duty for two years. You’ve been on for six months, and I’m being generous. I’ve got seniority, I do.”
“Nothing in the rules about seniority.”
“It’s a given! You listen to your parents because they’ve got seniority, yeah?”
“Never had no parents,” said Branson with a sneer. “Was an orphan.”
“Not the point I was making and you know it. You’re just trying to get a rise out of me is what you’re doing.”
“Excuse me,” said Sandoo, “but we have a timetable to keep.”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Roger, waving them past before he resumed his tirade at Branson. “And even if you were an orphan you still had to deal with the adults that raised ya, didn’t ya?”
“Not much, no.”
“They obviously didn’t do a great job of it anyway…”
Sandoo tuned them out, picking up his pace to get back to the ship before the rest of the guards got brave, or stupid. To be safe, he had everyone run in different directions so that the tracks would be completely muddled. If anyone did try to track them, it’d take a while.
Sandoo to Reluctant, open the bay doors, please.
The ramp dropped and the crew walked inside.
ARISE!
Captain Harr jolted awake as his earpiece dinged and Lieutenant Moon said, “Thir, Commander Sandoo and his crew have returned. They have Ensign Ridly with them.”
Harr rubbed his eyes, wondering how long he’d been out. The pain in his lower back suggested at least an hour had gone by. The noise from Jezden’s room had silenced, but the two Inquisitors were still making all kinds of a ruckus.
Now that Ridly was back on board The Reluctant, it was time to make an exit.
“Thanks for the update, Hank,” Harr said into his wristband before pushing himself up and cracking his back a few times. He wasn’t used to sitting in the wooden chairs that seemed the norm on this planet. “I’ll get everyone moving. How’s Geezer’s progress on the GONE Drive coming along?”
“He says that there was something wrong with the Bawadawa Connector, but he’s certain that it’s fixed now.”
“You know he makes up those names, right?”
“Yes, thir.”
“Right. Harr, out.”
The captain knocked on the door to the room where Jezden had taken the witch. From the amount of chanting and yelping that she’d done during the first fifteen minutes, Harr had a difficult time believing she wasn’t possessed. Cracking open the door he saw that Jezden was putting on his outfit. The android put his finger to his mouth in a shushing motion and then looked over at the witch, who appeared to be sleeping soundly.
“Actually,” Harr whispered. “You should wake her up and tell her to get out of town.”
Jezden said, “I’m more used to leaving before they wake up, but under the circumstances I’ll do that.”
Harr backed out and went over to the other room. There was still noise coming from there, so he knocked very sternly and didn’t bother to crack the door open.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s Servant Harr, sir.”
“Come back later.”
“You asked me to tell you when we had completed our Ridly proposition, sir.”
“Our what?”
Jezden stepped out of the room and took a chair, sliding his boots on. A couple of seconds later, the “witch” came out, smiled at them both, and then bolted out the side door to freedom. With any luck, thought, Harr, nobody would spot her.
“Ridly, sir,” Harr said back through the door where Parfait was. “You do remember that, yes?”
“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”
Harr took a deep breath. His back hurt, his head hurt, and he was irritable. But he had to keep his cool.
> “Maybe if you came to the door, sir, I could better explain.”
“I’m in the middle of Loo…erm…something right now.”
“Oh, for the love of…” Harr stood straight, squared his shoulders and gave up on diplomacy. “Senior Diplomat Parfait, this is your Captain speaking. We have retrieved Ensign Ridly and we are ready to depart this planet. We are walking out the door in precisely thirty seconds with or without you. Should you choose to stay here, farewell; otherwise, I suggest you pull yourself together and get a move on.”
There was about a 10 second pause and then Parfait replied, somewhat breathlessly, “That kind of talking to was just what I needed, Captain. I’ll be straight out.”
Harr gagged and grimaced, but held his ground.
“You call your servant Captain?” said Looby, barely loud enough for Harr to hear. “And what’s this about departing the planet?”
“Sorry, Inquisitor Looby,” Parfait replied, “no time to explain. Also, I do apologize, but I’ll need to hit you over the head with this jar now.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” answered Looby. “It won’t be the first time that’s happened.”
Bonk!
The door opened and Parfait stepped out, looking refreshed and full of vigor. He darted back in and retrieved his hat, putting it carefully on as they exited the building.
“What happens now?”
“We’ll just walk straight out of town,” said Harr as they exited the building. “No stopping.”
“But the people are all groveling, Captain. Surely, I can at least take the time to touch a few bottoms.”
“Pardon?”
“I meant a few souls, Captain.”
“No, you can’t. The show is over. We have to get back to our time and leave these people be. With any luck we won’t even show up as a footnote in their lore.”
“Seriously, Captain Harr, you’re not much fun at all.”
Harr ignored the comment. He was all for having a good time when they weren’t on duty. Right now, though, they were on an alien world some 750 years in the past. There was no more time for goofing off—or getting off, as was nearly always the desire of his two current companions.
Getting through town was a snap when walking with someone sporting a hat as tall as Parfait’s. The guards got out of the way, the people dove out of the way, especially as Parfait reached out to touch as many bottoms as he could manage, and the other clergy stepped fitfully aside, bowing in the process.
When they’d reached the final guard station that sat at the entrance to the town, Harr found the two guards rolling around on the ground, cursing, punching, and calling each other names. Taking the opportunity to get off of this warped world, Harr told the other two to pick up the pace and get to the ship.
As they entered The Reluctant, Harr felt the urge to drop to the floor and kiss the metal plating.
He resisted that urge.
Still, it felt good to be home.
ANOTHER TIME
Getting back into his military clothes had never felt so comforting. If Captain Don Harr never wore a pair of tights again, it would be too soon.
Engineering was bustling with activity as he walked in. There were two ensigns working on access panels, two more halfway hidden under the decking, and Geezer was yelling instructions while keeping his eyes focused on the GONE Drive.
“Access panel 13 needs the purple wire on slot F-7 moved to F-9, but be careful not to touch F-8 with it…unless you’re looking for a jolt you’ll not soon forget.” The robot looked up. “Actually, you would forget it because you’d be dead. Oh, hey chief, what’s up?”
“It looks like you’ve got repairs underway,” said Harr.
“Always the observant one, honcho.”
“What’s the ETA?”
“Estimated Time of Arrival.”
“I know what ETA means, Geezer. I’m asking you how long it’s going to be before we’re able to get back to our normal time.”
“Oh, I think we’re about ready as it is.”
“Thir?” said Lieutenant Moon through the comm.
“Yes, Hank?”
“There are a group of people walking toward the ship. They’ve got torches and swords, and there is a fellow with a very large pointy hat, much like the one that Senior Diplomat Parfait was wearing.”
“Great,” said Harr. “Look, Geezer, we have to get out of here right now.”
“We’ve got enough charge for about 5 jumps, Cap’n, but I haven’t solved the time dilation issue yet, so we may just end up in a different era.”
“Thir, they’re starting to run at the ship.”
“Press the button, Geezer.”
“Okay, but—”
“Press it!”
Geezer shrugged and pressed it. As usual, there were no lights, tweaks, bumps, shudders, or anything that would even remotely make anyone feel as though something had happened at all.
“Hank, is the mob gone?”
“Yes, thir.”
“Great,” Harr said with a sigh as he slid down the wall and sat on the floor.
“Not really, thir.”
“What now?”
“There are some very large creatures outside the ship, thir.”
Geezer tapped the keys on his computer and the scene came up of an animal that looked to be some thirty feet long. It had a massive tail that acted as a counterbalance to the snake-like head that jutted out the other side. The middle of the beast was as round as The Reluctant.
“What the hell is that?” asked one of the ensigns.
“It looks like a giant wabmor beast, but with a long tail and an even longer neck.”
“What’s it doing?”
The beast turned and started swinging its tail viciously back and forth.
“Hank, are our shields—”
“They’re already up,” said Hank quickly, “but if that thing steps on us, we’ll be crushed.”
Just then another creature leapt past. This one was not quite as tall, but it had a massive jaw with jutting teeth. While the original beast stood on four legs, this one was standing only on two. It’s forelimbs were tiny and seemed somewhat pointless, but those teeth more than made up for it as he dove toward the larger beast.
“Woah!” said one of the ensigns.
Harr cringed, fearing for the wabmor-type creature, but it had whipped its tail in perfect timing to smack the predator an instant before being bitten. The predator topped over, sliding into and knocking over a medium-sized tree.
The screech that it let out when it got back up was so loud that it could be heard throughout The Reluctant.
To Harr’s surprise, the predator got up and began brushing himself off with his little arms while walking towards the ship.
“Captain,” Moon said, “you’ve got to hear this.”
“Hear what?”
“Hook to the outside speakers, sir.”
Harr pressed a switch on the console.
God dang! The Mother Egg must have thought it was really funny to create such a ferocious and mighty beast only to saddle him with a couple of puny, wretched arms.
“Is that thing really talking?” asked Harr.
“Yes, thir,” Moon replied.
Harr was dumbstruck for a second and then he activated the external speakers.
"You there,” Harr yelled. “Stop where are! Come no closer to our spaceship."
The predator froze, looking first left, then right.
What is a spaceship?
"It's a vessel with walls and an engine that can fly through space, but that's not important right now. Just don't come any closer to the big metal object in front of you."
How do you fly in space?
“It involves complicated mathematics, engineering, and good, old-fashioned ingenuity.”
Oh, simple stuff, then?
“I wouldn’t say that,” said Harr, feeling like he was being talked down to. “In fact, this ship is state of the art. We’re able to instantly tran
sport between any two points in the known universe and even travel through time.”
The creature did a fake yawn, trying to raise his tiny arm to his face in the process, in what seemed a very human, sarcastic gesture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time travel. You should endeavor to try something really complicated like creating your own wormhole, traveling through a singularity, or meeting yourself in thirteen different dimensions. Time travel is a snap compared to those things, especially once you’ve solved the rotating polarity issue in the time dilation interflux.
“Holy shit, prime,” said Geezer, after a moment. “That’s what I neglected to do. I think that thing just solved my root issue.”
Harr was slack-jawed at this.
Enough of this. I have to find something to eat since that fellow over there was uncooperative in regards to my feeding schedule.
“Right,” said Harr as the thing walked out of sight, thinking for certain that he’d seen the little model of The SSMC Reluctant sitting atop of the creature’s head. “Geezer, are you ready now?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Hit the button.”
The scene changed and they were now sitting in a dusty, flat area that had minor foliage.
“Now where are we?”
“Actually, it’s still when, prime. We’re a lot closer.”
“How close?”
“We’re about 70 years in the past from our original place in time, and, hmmm…”
“Yes?”
“It looks like we also moved to the other side of the planet again.”
Harr grunted and pushed himself back up. After telling Geezer to keep working on getting a fix in place, he took the ladder up to the bridge. Lieutenant Moon gave a quick sit rep, which included a note that Senior Diplomat Parfait was down for his afternoon nap.
“At least that’s something to be thankful for,” said Harr under his breath. “Are there any lifeforms out there, Hank?”
“Nothing in the immediate area, no, but there is a house about a mile out, so if we were spotted, we’ll know about it soon enough.” Hank then keyed up another panel. “I have been constantly scanning since we arrived at our first stop, and this stop shows some interesting frequencies on modulation bands, thir. I think they’re being done on purpose.”
Platoon F: Pentalogy Page 27