“Absolut Legspreaders!” She giggled wildly.
“Awesome. Hey, you know that guy from the other night, the one in the kilt?”
It was loud where she was; she yelled, “The hottie in the kilt?”
Her voice carried through the phone causing Magnus's brow to draw together.
“His mother is in the hospital, so I'm helping him arrange for when she comes home tomorrow. I wanted to know if—”
“You're with the hottie in the skirt right now? You blew us off for a skirt-wearing Scottish guy?”
“Can James hear you right now?”
“No, I got up from the table before you said all this crazy bullshit. You have a date with James in a few days right?”
“I do. This is just business.”
“What kind of business? Are you YouTube videoing him? Are you making porn with the kilt guy?” She giggled drunkenly. “I mean, there are worse things, of course, but if you go being a porn star with MacDickson you won't marry James and have babies at the same time as me. Our babies need to grow up together—” I put my hand over the phone to cut off her words, stood up, and left for the laundry room. I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I'm not marrying James. We have one date planned. Plus, if you remember, he played me last time. Played me hard. Broke my heart.”
“He's changed though, Katie. He really has.”
“Bullshit. Where are you right now?”
“The sidewalk out front.”
“Look through the window. What's James Cook doing right now?”
“Um...”
“Exactly. Who is he talking to?”
“Christina, you remember her from school? She's in my seat.”
“Is she flipping her hair, Hayley? Is he spinning his beer bottle and doing that lopsided smile thing?”
“Katie, I'm going to kill you. Just don't make porn with the Scottish guy, and please give James a chance on Friday, for me, please?”
“I am going on the date. And this is just business. And I need you to call me when you get to the office tomorrow. I need to hire about…” I had forgotten how many people, so I quickly counted. “Five people. Possibly more.”
“Crap girl, that will make my quota. I'll call first thing. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!”
“Doesn't leave much.”
I walked back into the kitchen. It was awkward to go from talking about Magnus when he could hear me, to speaking to him directly. “Sorry about that, my friend Hayley has opinions she likes to share, loudly. I'll organize it with her though, and she'll send some people tomorrow.
He was a standing beside his barstool. I was standing beside mine.
He said, “T'would establish me verra well tae hae more men. Tis been a long and arduous week. I dinna ken what I would do without your assistance.”
“You probably need to rest...I should probably go...” I pulled my purse off the back of my chair. Trouble was I didn't really want to. This was the most relaxed I'd been in days. I loved meeting someone new, especially when they were like this, nonjudgmental.
He said, “I know ye hae somewhere tae be, but if ye dinna — would ye stay here tonight? I hae rooms aplenty. I daena much like the idea of being alone — the house is verra strange still, but your presence has improved it measurably.”
He looked uncomfortable and that had been really sweet. So I thought through my options, which weren't great. If I went home now, Mom and Dad would still be up. They'd talk to me about my “plans” and I was a little too tipsy for that. Or the inverse, they would ignore me and act like I was in their space. Which I was. Eating their food. Watching tv in their living room. Sleeping in the guest room, because my old room had been turned into their gym. As Mom helpfully pointed out, “You were getting married, that means you don't live here anymore.”
I could show up at the Turtle. That would be pretty funny since James was flirting with someone, but also, Hayley sounded full-blown buzzed. That would not be fun to walk into the middle of. Also, how much had I been drinking? Probably a lot. I supposed I might as well stay. In a separate room of course.
“Okay, yeah, I mean, I could stay in the guest room, that would be okay.” I put my purse over the back of the chair again. He opened another bottle of heather ale and set it in front of me.
“Besides, I still haven't given you a full tour of the house yet, with extra instructions. Let's start here.” We were facing the living room. “What do you see that doesn't make sense?”
He walked around the room looking at things closely and making a hmmm noise, as if studying it, rubbing his fingers along his square jaw, contemplating. Nodding. Finally, he said, “'Tis all mysterious, nae familiarity in anythin'. My grandfather, Archibald, told me, 'Magnus, if ye see something ye haena seen afore just scratch your balls—” He glanced at me and corrected himself with a chuckle. “Hae a bit o'ale and keep mum on it. Tis better tae make no noise than tae chirp like a corncrake.' My grandmother though, said, ''Tis better tae question and know the meaning of it, than tae suffer like a fool.' They were verra often more adversaries than friends.”
“My grandmother told me, “If you don't know what something is, pretend like you do while you figure it out.”
Magnus laughed a low booming laugh. “Your grandmother would hae gotten along with my grandfather quite well. “
“I'll tell her next time I speak to her.”
“She still lives?”
“Yes, far away though, in Maine.”
“Mine died during a battle with some of clan Donald.”
“Scotland is definitely different than I thought. It's in the EU, or it was, until Brexit, but I guessed it was much more cosmopolitan than you're describing.”
Magnus tipped his glass, drank to the bottom, and then poured another. “What is this big black thing on the wall?”
“The tv? Seriously, even the Amish know what a tv is...” I walked toward it shaking my head.
He laughed. “I am telling ye a story, Mistress Kaitlyn. I know tis a teev, but haena seen this kind afore.”
I eyed him suspiciously. “Good, because tv is as basic as rock-and-roll at this point.” I hit the power on and switched through channels. Nothing looked good. I glanced peripherally at Magnus, who was wincing. “Too loud?”
“Everythin' here buzzes, as if bees were swarmin' inside. Tis verra loud. You canna hear it?”
“I shook my head and turned off the tv. “What about music? I turned on a speaker, hooked my phone to it, and turned on my 'Chill for a Sec You Dumbass' playlist — created just after I assaulted Braden. On camera. The playlist had lots of Lana DeRay, so I deemed it quiet enough. I switched the volume way down.
I dropped onto the comfy couch. That was one good thing about Beach Modern decorating, giant overstuffed sofas with a surplus of decorative pillows. I tucked my feet up under me and lounged.
Magnus asked, “Would ye like another ale?”
I already had a very nice buzz, but now that I didn't need to drive, why not? “Sure.”
He grabbed two ales by the bottle necks and joined me in the living room dropping into a chair beside the couch. “This music is beautiful.”
“It's Lana Del Rey, one of my favorites.” I sang a couple of lines, very low like a whisper, because my singing voice was terrible. Everyone thought so. A friend in middle school once told me I sounded like a baby hippo crying when I sang along to Rihanna. It was true so I didn't mind. I caught Magnus furtively glancing at me, so I quit singing. “You and your mother must be very close. “
He said, “No, I haena known her most of my life. I was sent away after my father died tae be raised by my uncle John in London.”
“But you're protecting her now?”
“I hae sworn tae protect her by oath. No matter what comes. Wherever it takes us.”
“Oh, that makes sense.” I said it though I didn't really understand it. “And you said her husband was going to come for her?”
“Aye, Lord Delapointe. She has taken something he v
erra much wants.”
I was enjoying this story. It was like the plot of a movie — easy to forget it was real life, because so much about Magnus had a weird fantasy vibe about it, not seeming real at all. I swigged from my bottle.
Then I thought of something. “What did she take, was it the gold and jewels? Are we caught up in a museum robbery or something?”
“Nae the jewels belong tae Lady Mairead. He wants something else entirely.”
“Oh.”
“I would rather nae speak of it, if ye dinna mind, Mistress Kaitlyn. I find myself in the New World, at the dawn of a new life, with new friends,” he lifted his bottle in salute to me. “I prefer nae tae dwell in the past.”
“Hear hear.” I raised my bottle too. “And that's a good reminder, dwelling in the past sucks. New World, dawn of a new life, new friends.” I yawned, a big yawn, the kind that cracks your face wide with embarrassing noises.
“You are fatigued?”
“I am, I was up late last night watching tv. How about you?”
“Much the same, but I can make do on little. You may retire, Mistress Kaitlyn. You will be safe enough, I'll keep watch.”
“Lady Mairead's room is upstairs, which is yours? I mean, I'm wondering which room I should take?”
“You may hae the grand room.” He gestured toward the door of the master bedroom. “I'll make my bed here.” He bounced up and down on the cushions of the overstuffed chair. “What name would ye call this?”
“A chair?”
He chuckled. “I had hoped for somethin' fancier. I shall sleep in this heaven-stuff'd chair.”
I hadn't known him for long, but his face had so many expressions, most often intense and deep, but then when he was amused his smile spread and crinkled the corner of his eyes. I drained my beer and stood to grab my purse and head into the bedroom.
He asked, “Will ye turn off the lights? I hae forgotten your first lesson, Mistress Kaitlyn, ye may need tae shew me again on the morrow.”
“Happy to.” I turned the switches off, throwing the entire bottom floor into darkness, but only for a moment. Once my eyes adjusted, through the sliding glass door, the boardwalk glowed faintly in the moonlight. The sea grass beyond stood still on the dunes.
“Tis peaceful, ye made it just right.”
“Goodnight, Magnus.”
“Good night, Mistress Kaitlyn, thank ye for welcoming me tae the New World.”
My room was luxurious, large, with a full wall of glass. I didn't close the blinds so I could look out onto the beach, at night, from my bed. It was awesome. I had never had a view like this. Undulating dunes, covered in sparse sea grass.
The bed covers were silk. The pillows so large I was sure to throw a neck out by morning. Why did luxurious beds always have neck injuring pillows? I tucked one between my legs, wrapped around another one, tucked into the covers and was asleep in minutes.
Five
The next morning I woke at eight-thirty. Crap. Visiting hours started at nine. I raced to the living room and found Magnus standing on the back porch. A bit of breezy wind blew a curl on the nape of his neck. He heard my footsteps, turned, and his face lit up.
He slid open the door and met me in the living room. “Did ye sleep well, Mistress Kaitlyn?”
“Nice, you've got the doors figured out already. And yes, I did.” I checked my phone. “We need to get you to the hospital. Coffee first though.” I went to the kitchen, filled a glass with water from the refrigerator, and took some big gulps. “Dehydrated.”
“We go tae the lands of the Donalds then?”
“Definitely.”
“Good, because I could eat a horse.”
In the drive-thru Magnus ordered four muffins and two coffees. I ordered two muffins and one coffee. I rather liked watching him fish the card or, as he called it, his tile, from his leather pouch. He was scrunched in the seat, knees splayed, shoulders taking up most of the freaking room. His jawline taking all of my air. We ate while I drove and then carried our coffees into the hospital, to check on Lady Mairead. She was still sleeping, so we ate outside on a bench.
Then I left to go to Hayley's place of business, the Temps on Top Agency. I told her years ago that it sounded like she was running a prostitution ring, to which she said, “Exactly. I'm not, but if that gets me some phone calls, I can say, 'No, I don't have someone to service your sexual desires, but perhaps you'd like a girl to come over and polish your silverware.'”
I laughed. “Is 'polishing your silverware' a euphemism for sex; are you running a prostitution ring?” And now whenever I saw the sign outside it made me laugh.
I entered the small, well-appointed, empty, waiting room. She called me through to her office and I sat on the opposite side of her desk like a customer.
“So tell me all about it.” Her eyes squinted. “You're holding a coffee from Mackydoos so obviously you're hungover. Did you bed the wild Scotsman? I hope not, because James was pining for you all night.”
“I am. I did not. And no he wasn't.”
“If not pining, he's really looking forward to your date. So what are you doing with the dude in the skirt?”
“I don't know, nothing. I spent the night—”
She gasped, “Katie!”
“Let me finish, I spent the night in the guest room. His mom is in the hospital, and he doesn't know his way around — anything, and... We're friends.”
She looked suspicious. “You should keep it that way. He looks like nothing but trouble. He carries a sword for Pete's sake, it's 2017. Is that even legal?”
“There are guys who carry big guns strapped to their backs around a Starbucks in Texas. I saw it on Facebook.”
“Yes, but you don't want to date one, Katie. I've known you since you were five. You've never once dreamed of a man with a gun strapped to his back. Maybe a prince on a horse, but I don't think weapons had any part of it. Besides that, what does he think about your on-air tantrum?”
“He's never seen it.”
“Ah girl,” Hayley cocked her head to the side with a sympathetic pout. “See, that's what this is. What are you going to do, nervously wait until he has? Hope he finds it funny when he does? That's what's so great about James, he's seen the video, he thought it was funny, and he still likes you.”
“And he'd punch anyone in the face who would say otherwise.”
“Exactly. He's your prince.”
I chuckled. “I wouldn't go that far. He did break my heart pretty good back in the day. Plus, he's not the only man in the world.”
“You should know that everyone deserves a second chance. I'm just saying I'm glad you're going out on a date Friday night. Second chance him. Then second chance him again. The third time you second chance him, ask yourself, do I want to second chance him forever? And whatever, there's a great band at Sliders, you can dance with him first, then second chance him later.” She giggled. “Then if you don't like it, go do your other men.”
I pretended to be irritated and huffed. “So the business at hand.” I placed the pad on her desk, leaned on my elbows, fishing a pen out of her desk jar. “The Scotsman needs...”
“What's his name?”
“Magnus Campbell.”
“Magnus.” She jokingly shifted in her seat, then said it with a sultry voice. “Mahg-nus. Oh, Magnus. Oh yes.”
“Are you going to be able to do this, Hayley, or are you going to sexually harass your client?”
“Here at Temp on Top, we are totally professional. What kind of staff does he need?”
“A full time, twenty-four-seven, security team. A maid. Someone to dress Lady Mairead, maybe a nurse? Or a personal assistant? He wants a stable boy, but I don't have the heart to tell him he doesn't have a stable. And a cook.”
Hayley's eyes went wide. “Seriously? He has the money for this?”
“My dad says yes. Dad has decided to personally handle Magnus's money and says he's very, very rich.”
“Whoa. Okay then. A staff that large d
efinitely fills my quota. Does Lady Mairead really need someone to dress her?”
“I think she's royalty and is used to having everything done for her.”
“Okay then, I have a—” Hayley turned to her computer and started clicking and typing and talking to herself and me.
“I'll call Jim Sanders, you know him, Declan's uncle? He runs Island Security. I've got one guy who temps security, but I'll need more.”
“Sounds good. I barely remember Declan, definitely don't remember his uncle.”
“A stable boy? Doesn't he live in a beach house?”
“I'm just telling you what he wants.”
Hayley scrolled through the list, muttering to herself. She said, “I'll call Debbie over at Amelia Stables and see if she has any ideas. Remember her, we worked for her for two weeks that summer when we were twelve?”
“I do, barely.”
“For nurse I have Elizabeth Macklinberg, she's great. She moved here from Brunswick, is a nurse, and worked in eldercare hospice. I think she can dress a royal.”
“And that leaves the best for last, Michael's very own big brother, Zach, is a chef. He works over at the Inn as a line cook, but he's so great. Do you think Magnus would mind that he's covered in tattoos and uses foul language just about every other word — his food is amazing?”
“He probably won't mind, just tell him to keep it down in front of Lady Mairead.”
“Best part, Zach's girlfriend is out of work, Emma. She used to clean houses for Maids for Hire in Jax. So there's the housekeeper. Zach will be thrilled they can work together.” She leaned back in her chair and said, “Done. When do you need them by?”
I grinned. “This afternoon.”
She looked shocked. “That's just a few hours.”
I looked down at the list. “I think the security is very important. He's willing to pay extra to have that in place now. He hasn't slept in days.”
Hayley leaned forward. “I told you he was trouble. What is he hiding from?”
“I don't know, but I think it has more to do with Lady Mairead. I also think the cook is very important, and the nurse. If those were in place by tonight that would make you the greatest living temp agency boss in the world.”
Kaitlyn and the Highlander Page 5