When they were finished, he drove toward her house. “Oh, I forgot to ask. How was your meeting with the Indians?” she asked. She’d been curious about how it would go, but she’d been so distracted by thinking about Alex all evening, she’d barely been present for him.
He looked over at her and smiled, passing her house. “I thought we could take a drive.”
She nodded, not really caring what they did. “Sounds fine.” She enjoyed drives, and it wasn’t so late her parents would worry about her.
“Meeting with the Indians was interesting. They certainly see the wars that have taken place between them and the white men differently than we do.” He drove toward the edge of town.
“Of course, they do. I actually find that I sympathize a great deal with the Indians. I think they’ve been treated unfairly by white men who have taken over their territory.” She hadn’t come right out and been blunt about her feelings before, because she hadn’t wanted him to brand her as an “Indian-sympathizer.”
He smiled. “I knew you were one of those.”
She sighed, leaning back against the buckboard. “I am one of those, and I’m rather proud of it.” She was a little annoyed by his attitude, but as long as he would write his book fairly to the Indians, he could say what he liked.
He stopped the wagon and pulled to the side of the road. “I understand their point of view better than I did before, and I’ll do my best to make it real in my story. Is that fair?”
She nodded, wondering why he’d stopped the wagon. “Aren’t you going to take me home?” It wasn’t late, but it seemed strange to be parked on the side of the road this way. She turned to look at him, trying to figure out what he was doing.
He cupped her face with his hands, something he’d never done before. “I wondered if you’d let me kiss you.”
Amaryllis nodded slowly, thinking of how Alex hadn’t asked. He’d taken the kiss when he’d wanted it. She’d always thought she’d prefer a man who would be gentle and considerate of how she was feeling, but suddenly, she wished Lawrence were more like Alex.
Lawrence lowered his head slowly, and his lips brushed against hers. Amaryllis waited for the flood of emotions to rush through her body, making her want nothing more than to be close to him, but it never happened. He kissed her, and it wasn’t unpleasant, but it certainly wasn’t something she wanted prolonged or repeated.
He lifted his head and looked down at her with a smile. “I think we need to be just friends.”
Amaryllis grinned and nodded. “You are most definitely right about that.” She shook her head. “If I had a brother, I imagine that’s what kissing him would feel like.”
Lawrence laughed. “Probably.” He turned toward the front and picked up the reins. “I was hoping it would be different, but at least I have a good friend.”
Amaryllis was relieved he was taking it so well. She didn’t want more than a friendship with him, but she didn’t want his feelings hurt either. “I’ll take a good friend any day.”
She was more relaxed around him on her way back to the house and pleased they’d gotten the kiss over with. Now she would be more comfortable when they spent time together, knowing that he was just a friend and would never be anything more. Her mother would be aghast that she’d already kissed two men, but she didn’t think she needed to be as old fashioned as her mother was.
He walked her to her door as usual. “Thank you for dinner.”
“We’ll do it again soon. I’ll see you tomorrow at the library.” He squeezed her hand as he headed back to the buggy.
He turned, got into his buggy, and left while she sat on the front porch swing staring out at the street. Within moments she felt the swing hitch, and she turned, expecting to see one of her sisters.
“Who was that?” Alex demanded.
Amaryllis shrugged. “I told you I was seeing someone.” She deliberately let him think there was more between her and Lawrence than there was. She needed him to leave her alone.
“Him?” There was a sneer in Alex’s voice. “What do you see in him?”
“He’s always been kind to me.” Amaryllis shrugged as if that were enough for her.
“I’ve always been kind to you!”
“When you were with me maybe.” She stared straight ahead, refusing to look at him. He had a day’s growth of beard on his face, and she wanted to lean over and touch it. It was better that she not look at him at all. “He’s always a perfect gentleman. He helps me into the buggy and is pleasant to me. We have a lot in common. He’s a writer.”
Alex discounted all that, his hand taking hers. She tried to pull her hand away, but he wouldn’t allow it. “Does he make your heart beat faster? When he kisses you, do you feel like your whole body is on fire? Because that’s what you feel when you’re with me.” He stared down at her in the moonlight, daring her to argue with him.
Amaryllis shook her head to deny what she felt for Alex. “Stop it, Alex.”
“Did you forget? Do you need to be reminded of how I make you feel, Rilly?”
She turned to him, tears glistening in her eyes. “I don’t want you in my life anymore, Alex. I want to move on, find someone who will really love me.”
“I really love you.”
She shook her head. “No, you don’t. You love the idea of the young girl I used to be. You don’t even know me now.”
Alex looked at her sadly. “I want to know who you are now. Give me a chance, Rilly. That man’s not good enough for you.”
She stared at him in disbelief. “He’s not good enough for me, but you are? You gave up on me! You didn’t care enough about me to make our relationship work, and he’s not good enough for me?” She wrenched her hand from his and ran to the back of the house into the garden. She didn’t want to talk to her family in the state she was in.
She wandered through the huge garden, finding solace in the quiet of the well-organized plants. She went back to the garden her mother had made for her. It was too late in the year for amaryllis to be in bloom, but she found this area still gave her a sense of calm she could get from nowhere else.
What was going on with Alex? Had he really given up on Sarah and was coming back to her? She couldn’t help but wonder if he’d never meant for her to find out about Sarah, and he was just going to see the other woman until he’d finished college, and then he planned to come home to her. Did it matter?
She sighed. Of course it matters, a little voice told her. If he abandoned me once for another woman, he could easily do it again. What if I had a child to worry about? I can’t go down that road with him again.
Alex followed her to the garden and stood to one side watching as she sat looking so forlorn on a bench way to the back. On one hand he wanted to rush to her and explain exactly what had happened with Sarah, so she would understand everything, but on the other, he wanted her to trust him completely. Why had she given up on him so quickly? Wasn’t he worth fighting for?
He desperately wanted to talk to her, but she wasn’t ready to hear him, and the talk he wanted to have would not be appropriate for her parents’ back garden. He had to get her alone to make her realize he was the only man who should be with her for the rest of her life. They were soul mates, and he wasn’t giving up on them. It would just take a bit of careful planning, but he’d make her understand, because life wasn’t worth living without Amaryllis at his side.
*****
Alex planned carefully how he’d get her alone. He couldn’t just grab her from the library and drag her back to his home, but he knew she walked past his office on her way home every day, so he thought carefully about how he’d handle it. He waited outside his office at five the following afternoon, knowing she’d be coming that way any moment. He stayed hidden under the awning of the building so she wouldn’t see him when she walked past.
As soon as he spotted her, he stepped forward, grabbed her hand and dragged her into his office, not saying a word to her. He shut the door behind them both and locked it,
pocketing the key.
Amaryllis spun around to see who had grabbed her, her eyes full of fear. When she saw it was Alex, she shook her head, and tried the door, even though she’d seen him lock it. “Let me out, Alex. My family is going to miss me.”
“We need to talk.”
She sighed. “We’ve tried talking several times, and it’s just not working for us. You need to just give up and realize that there’s no future for us.”
“So you won’t even discuss it with me?” He stared down at her, his eyes sad but determined.
She shook her head. “I just want to go home, Alex.” She felt herself pulled toward him more and more, but she couldn’t give in to it. He wasn’t the man she thought she knew, and she refused to waste her time on a man who wasn’t going to be good for her.
“Okay, we won’t talk then.” He slowly took a step toward her. She expected him to unlock the door, but instead, he wrapped his arms around her. He lowered his head until his mouth was an inch above hers before whispering, “If you don’t want to talk, then we’ll communicate in the one way that never fails.” He kissed her as he’d never kissed her before, his tongue tracing her lips, his hands gentle, as they explored her curves under her dress.
She gasped against his mouth, and he took the opportunity to stroke his tongue inside to join with hers. She tried to take a step back, but his hands were firmly on her bottom, and she couldn’t back up at all.
He pulled her even closer until her body was flush against his. Her breasts were flattened against his chest, and she felt her heart beat faster. She loved the feel of his hands on her body. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him down closer, all thoughts leaving her mind. She returned his kiss with all she was worth, loving the feeling of excitement rushing through her.
He took one step forward until her back was against the wall, his hands stroking up and down her sides through her layers of clothing. His lips kissed a trail down her neck, all the while mumbling sweet words. “I missed you. I need you.”
She put her hands on his shoulders to push him away at the same time as she tilted her head to the side to give him better access to her neck. She groaned, her hands trailing up and down his back. She wanted to feel his skin against her fingertips. He was wearing a brown suit with a black tie, so she couldn’t get to his body. She moved one hand under his jacket and pulled him closer. Every time he kissed her she wanted more and more from him. Why couldn’t she resist this man?
Alex felt her hand under his jacket and smiled, knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her. His fingers went to the front of her gown, and he carefully undid each of the buttons there. He pushed her dress off her shoulders without ever breaking the kiss.
Amaryllis could think of nothing except touching his skin. She pushed his jacket off his shoulders, and her hands went up to untie his cravat. Once both were disposed of, she unbuttoned his shirt. Her hands immediately went to the flesh she’d bared, rubbing her hands against the light covering of hair there.
He groaned deep in his throat, running his hands over her undergarments. His lips left hers and he kissed across her cheek and down to her neck.
She let out a small moan, arching her head to the side as she felt his lips kissing her so sweetly. She pushed his shirt off his shoulders, her hands rubbing his shoulders and back muscles. In the back of her mind, she knew they were doing something wrong, but it felt so good, she couldn’t make herself stop.
When he moved the shoulder strap of her petticoat to one side, she sucked in a breath as her flesh seemed to ignite wherever he touched her. No one had ever warned her that it would feel so good when a man touched her bare flesh. How had she gone her whole life without knowing that?
Amaryllis was startled when Alex put a hand behind her knees and swept her into his arms carrying her through the office to another room she hadn’t realized was there. She didn’t take the time to look around her, just held tight to him as he lowered her carefully onto a bed. She laid there staring up at him in just her petticoat. He shrugged his shirt off his shoulders before following her down onto the bed. He lay on his side and stroked her breast through the thin material that was her only protection from his fingers.
She arched into his hand, thrilled by his touch. Her fingers wound through his dark hair, and she moaned softly. She gloried in the feel of Alex touching her. She’d loved him for so long, it suddenly didn’t matter to her what had happened in the past. She needed his touch, and for this small moment in time, she was going to take what she needed. She felt an ache building between her thighs. She knew it was wrong, but she wanted him to touch her there. Did he know how to stop the ache?
Alex cupped her face in his hands and began kissing her again, his tongue invading her mouth to mate with hers. His hands never stilled, touching her breasts, her shoulders her neck. He was intoxicated by her soft skin, and what had begun as a deliberate seduction was now so much more. Her hands made him feel as if he were the one seduced. He couldn’t stop himself from touching her and kissing her. She was his, and had been for years.
When Alex pushed her petticoat off her shoulder and down over her body, she was laid bared to him. His tongue traced around the tip of her nipple, before drawing her tightly drawn bud between his lips. She arched in shock, pressing up to his mouth. She’d never dreamed that a man would suckle at her breast the same way a babe did.
Amaryllis couldn’t keep her hands still as she moved them over Alex’s bare back. His hard body fascinated her. She’d never seen a man bared to the waist before, and she was fascinated by the differences in their bodies.
His hand slid down across her stomach and nudged her thighs apart, startling her, but she spread her legs for him willingly. She wanted to tell him how much she was aching there, but couldn’t find the words. Instead she arched into his fingers as they pressed between her thighs. He was making her feel so good.
His thumb settled onto her pleasure button while his forefinger found its way into her depths, pressing deep within her. She let out a shocked cry, and her wide eyes stared into his as he held himself over her. He slowly lowered his lips to hers once again, kissing her with a passion she’d never felt. How could it be more intense every time he touched her?
He moved his finger inside her, making sure she was ready for him, and trying to make the experience as easy for her as he could. His lips toyed with hers, his tongue mating with her own. Her hands gripped his shoulders, digging her nails into him without even realizing it.
He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “I love you, Amaryllis. I’ve never known a woman I could love half as much as I love you.” He bit back the words he wanted to say. He wanted to ask her to be his wife, but he was unwilling to ruin the mood. He had to finish this before he went up in flames.
He moved to the side of the bed, and removed his trousers before slipping back into bed and moving to cover her body. He pressed his lips to hers as he gently guided his member to her opening and pressed deep, swallowing her startled cry of pain. He lifted his head, watching her carefully, hoping she would be past the pain quickly so he could move inside her as he wanted to. He used his hands on her body to slowly stoke the fire she had felt just moments before
As soon as she arched up to him, he took it as permission to begin moving inside her, stroking deep. Within moments she was moaning beneath him, and he was moving with quick even strokes, driving them both toward completion.
Amaryllis stared up into Alex’s eyes, knowing that she would never allow another man to do this to her. Alex was the only man who could ever make her feel this way, and she was happy to be in his arms.
She could feel something building deep inside her, and wanted Alex to help her find it, whatever it was. She moved with his thrusts, clenching him to her. Finally, she broke apart, and her body seemed to explode. She let out a little moan of pleasure, and held to him as he moved into her a few more times before collapsing atop her.
She lay under him, stroking his hair, now
damp with sweat away from his face, thinking about how badly he needed a haircut. His face was buried in her neck, and she loved the feel of his weight on her body.
After a moment, he rolled to her side, pulling her into his arms and cradling her head on his shoulder. He stroked his hand up and down her back slowly, until they both fell asleep. Her last thought was that she was glad to know this happiness, even if it was the only time she would ever experience it.
Chapter Three
Amaryllis woke, startled at the feel of an arm wrapped tightly around her waist. She slept alone, and had since Lily had moved from the house and left an empty bedroom. It was one of the perks of being the oldest daughter still living at home. But who was touching her?
She rolled to see Alex’s profile in the evening light drifting through the curtained window. She reached out and stroked his cheek, unable to help herself, before she got to her feet and quickly dressed, her cheeks a bright red. How could she have done this with him?
She watched him carefully, dressing as quietly as she could in the fading sunlight creeping into the dark room. He stirred and turned to her. She had pulled on her petticoat, but nothing more. She stood staring at him, wishing he would drift back to sleep.
“Where you going?” he asked, his voice heavy with sleep. He held a hand out to her. “Come back here and let me hold you.” His hair was mussed, and he looked more handsome to her than he ever had before. The sheet was pulled over his waist, but just barely, and she loved how the hair narrowed to a triangle as it disappeared under the sheet.
She shook her head frantically. “I have to get home. My family will be worried about me.” She rushed to his office and picked up her wrinkled dress from the floor pulling it over her head.
He followed her into the office moving silently. She was shocked to see him when she turned and jumped, her hand going to her chest in surprise. He was totally nude, and she made her eyes stay on his shoulders. She couldn’t force herself to meet his eyes. “You’ll marry me now, Rilly.” He pulled her against him.
Amaryllis (Suitors of Seattle) Page 3