“Did someone hurt you, Rilly?”
Amaryllis shook her head, the tears starting to fall again. What had she been thinking to do that without being married? “No, Mama. I…I did something I shouldn’t have.”
Mary’s eyes widened with understanding. “Did you see Lawrence after you left the library?”
Amaryllis gave a half-laugh and her eyes met her mother’s for the first time since she’d gotten home. “No, I saw Alex.”
Mary shook her head slowly. “Not Alex Anderson? I thought you two had broken up!”
“We did. He’s been back in town, and I’ve seen him a few times…just run into him. And today, well…Mama he’s talking to Papa and I don’t want to be forced to marry him. You won’t let that happen, will you?” Her eyes pled with her mother to help her.
Mary sighed. “There are consequences for your actions, Rilly. You should have come straight home from work like you usually do.”
Amaryllis stared down at her hands. “He grabbed me and kissed me, and whenever he kisses me, I just feel things. I can’t stop. I know what we did was wrong, but I shouldn’t have to suffer the rest of my life for it!”
“You could be carrying his child. I’ll stand behind whatever your papa says, but I think marriage is in order.” Mary got to her feet and walked to the doorway. “I’ll go get the dinner we saved for you. You’ll need to have strength for the conversation your father is going to have with you.”
“Mama, are you disappointed in me?”
Mary sighed. “I’m disappointed in your actions, but never in you. You’re wonderful just as you are.” She hurried from the room.
Amaryllis sat with a half-smile on her face. She knew a lot of mothers would be angry and yelling at their child. She had new respect for the woman who had raised her.
Chapter Four
Amaryllis ate a small portion of the pot roast and vegetables her mother had saved for her. Mary kept her company as she ate, knowing the agony her third daughter was in as she worried about what was being said between her father and Alex. Mary could see the emotions flitting across her face, and she kept glancing over her shoulder as if she was expecting to hear gunshots.
When Jasmine came to the dining room and found her sister there, Amaryllis could see the gleeful grin on her face and wanted to vomit. “Papa’s looking for you!”
Amaryllis pushed her plate away, even though it was barely touched. She looked at her mother. “Will you come with me?”
Mary shook her head. “You have to face these consequences on your own.” She squeezed Amaryllis’s hand as she stood to leave the dining room.
Amaryllis took a deep breath and walked through the quiet house to her father’s office. She opened the door and walked just inside standing there waiting to hear what her father had to say to her.
“Sit down, Amaryllis.” Her father’s eyes were sad, but no longer angry as they had been earlier.
Amaryllis took the empty chair beside Alex, because it was the one her father had indicated. She sat quietly looking at her hands, afraid to say anything.
“Alex told me what happened this evening. You obviously care for him, or you wouldn’t have allowed him those liberties with your body. You’ll marry him this Saturday.”
Amaryllis shook her head. “I won’t, Papa. I don’t trust him.”
Fred leaned back in his chair, obviously astonished that Amaryllis was arguing with him over something so important. “You will. You made a choice today, and you have to live with that choice. By allowing him to touch you, you agreed that he was the man you want to spend your life with.”
Amaryllis looked up for the first time since she’d entered the room. “But, Papa! I didn’t make a choice. I was on my way home from work, and he grabbed me and pulled me into his office!” She couldn’t help but protest. Her father thought she’d actually deliberately gone with the man for the purpose of having relations with him, and that’s not what had happened.
Fred leaned forward, his elbows on his desk as he looked between Alex and Amaryllis. “Are you saying he forced you?”
Amaryllis knew that lying would be the only way she could get out of the mess she was in, but she couldn’t do that to Alex. “No, Papa. He just didn’t give me time to think. He started kissing me, and I lost my head.” She looked down in shame.
“You’ll marry him then. Alex tells me he has a law practice and a small apartment attached to his office. We’ll have the pastor come on Saturday, and the two of you will marry with only family here. We’ll put it around that you saw each other again and decided you couldn’t wait because you loved each other so much.”
Amaryllis glared at Alex out of the corner of her eye. He reached over to take her hand. “I love you. I’ll make you as happy as I possibly can. Please don’t be angry.”
She refused to look at him, shocked that he had taken it this far and gotten her father to force a marriage when he knew it wasn’t what she wanted.
Fred sighed. “Go ahead, Alex.”
Alex stood and walked around her chair, dropping to one knee beside her. In his hand, he held a ring. “Amaryllis, I love you more than I’ve ever dreamed it was possible to love someone. I want nothing more than to be your husband. Will you marry me and let me spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I care about you?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away. It was a proposal like she’d always dreamed of, but it wasn’t right, because she didn’t trust him. Yes, she loved him. She had to admit that to herself at least. She never would have made love with a man she didn’t love. She wasn’t ready to marry him though, so she remained silent.
Fred leaned forward. “Your answer is ‘yes,’ Amaryllis. Say it and get on with it.”
Amaryllis sighed, the anger in her eyes shooting daggers at Alex. “Yes.” She knew she sounded frustrated, but she didn’t care. She was frustrated. She watched as Alex slipped a ring on her finger.
Alex looked to Fred. “May I kiss her now?”
Fred laughed and mumbled something about closing the stall after the horse got out as he left the room, leaving the young affianced couple alone together.
Amaryllis shook her head. “No, you may not kiss me now. Thank you so much for asking me and not my father. As far as I’m concerned, I’m never kissing you again.”
Alex grinned, took the hand he still held, and pulled her to her feet. “But I like kissing you. And you like kissing me. Whether you’ll admit it right now or not.” He lowered his head to hers and kissed her softly, a sweet kiss to seal their engagement. He lifted his head, and looked at the open door, seeing Jasmine standing there watching them.
“Kissing is disgusting, you know. Have you considered that really you’re just sharing your spit with each other?” Jasmine was sixteen now, but still hadn’t really discovered boys, which was a good thing. There was no telling what Jasmine would do when she discovered boys.
Alex smiled. “I know.”
“I guess her spectacles don’t get in the way like I thought they would.” Jasmine made her announcement as if everyone in the world was waiting for her opinion on whether or not spectacles made kissing more difficult.
Alex chuckled softly. “You sure do know how to make a marriage proposal more interesting, Jasmine.” He kept Amaryllis’s hands in his to keep her close to him even as he focused his attention on her younger sister.
“Marriage proposal? How come she’s marrying you when she’s been going to dinner with Lawrence? That doesn’t make sense.” Jasmine made a face.
“I came back to town, and she forgot all about him, I guess.” The look on Alex’s face dared Amaryllis to argue with him.
Amaryllis nodded. “That’s exactly what happened. How could I think of anyone else when Alex has always held my heart in his hand?” She smiled sweetly up at Alex, brushing her lips against his.
“Then why did you go to dinner with Lawrence so much?”
Amaryllis ignored the look in Alex’s eyes as sh
e turned her attention on her sister. “He was a friend who knew no one else in town. I felt badly for him. That doesn’t mean I stopped loving Alex.”
Alex cupped her cheek with his hand. “Go away, Jasmine. I’m going to kiss your sister again.”
“Fine, I’m leaving!” As soon as Jasmine said the words and stomped off, Amaryllis pulled away from Alex.
Alex raised an eyebrow at her. “What was that about?”
“Jasmine is…well, she’s Jasmine. I don’t want to have to live with her knowing that I was forced to marry and didn’t choose this. I’d rather she thought I was deliriously happy.”
Alex sighed. “I’d rather you be deliriously happy.”
She shrugged. “That’s not going to happen married to you. I told you how I felt, and you pushed it anyway.” She walked to the front door and opened it, making it obvious she was ready for him to leave. “I guess I’ll see you Saturday.”
Mary walked up behind them. “Amaryllis, is there an announcement you want to make? I’ve got tea and cookies at the table for all of us if you two would like to share your news with the family.”
Amaryllis sighed. “Jasmine knows so the whole world is already aware, I’m certain.”
“Amaryllis.” Mary quietly said her daughter’s name, letting her know that her answer was unacceptable.
Amaryllis smiled at Alex. “Would you like to stay for tea and cookies so we can tell the whole family our joyful news?” Her words were spoken sarcastically, but he just laughed.
“I’d love to!” Alex followed her into the dining room where he’d eaten on several occasions when the family had gotten together with Harriett and her husband Max as well as his parents and him.
Amaryllis took one of the seats on the side of the table, and Alex took the seat beside her. He squeezed her hand under the table, and it became a small game of tug of war as she tried to get him to loosen his grip and let her go. Mary noticed the fight and frowned at Amaryllis, shaking her head slightly. Amaryllis sighed and gave up, letting him hold her hand.
When all of her sisters, minus the two who were on their own, and her parents were at the table, Fred looked at them with a smile. “Amaryllis and Alex have news for us all.”
Amaryllis stayed quiet, refusing to say the words. She knew Alex would handle it. He was the one excited about getting married after all.
Alex got to his feet and smiled down at Amaryllis, wishing she’d look at him. If she wanted her sisters to think she was happy about their marriage, she needed to put on a better act. “Amaryllis has agreed to be my wife. We’re getting married Saturday.”
Even Jasmine was stunned by that news. Mary had obviously already been informed, because she just smiled.
“Saturday? Why so soon?” Jasmine asked. “What aren’t you telling me?” At sixteen, Jasmine was very suspicious of fast weddings. “You’re not pregnant are you, Rilly?”
Amaryllis shook her head adamantly. “No, I’m not pregnant. I’ve just loved Alex for a lot of years. Why wouldn’t I marry him quickly?”
Jasmine still looked like she knew something was going on, but she didn’t say anything else about it. “Whatever you say, Rilly.”
Daisy, at seventeen, smiled at Amaryllis. “I’m happy for you. You and Alex deserve each other.”
Amaryllis just kept smiling through all the congratulations. She wanted Alex to leave so she could go to her room and have a good cry. They took their time over the cookies, and Alex kept giving her loving glances. She did her best to at least look like she liked him, but she was so angry with him, she didn’t even want to be in the same room with him unless it was to spit on him.
Saturday. She was going to marry him Saturday. They were going to live in his tiny apartment, which was fine, but she couldn’t cook. She’d never learned to clean. How were they going to live? She closed her eyes and didn’t think about it. She hoped it would be a slow three days.
When she finally led Alex to the door at the end of the evening, she knew her sisters were watching from their windows, so she walked him outside. She sighed as she looked at him. “I guess you’d better kiss me good night, so my sisters will still have all their romantic illusions.”
Alex frowned. “How ‘bout I kiss you because we both enjoy it so much?”
Amaryllis’s eyes dropped to his lips, and she thought about how good his lips and touch made her feel. “I think it’s better if we do it just because my sisters are watching.”
He shook his head as he pulled her into his arms. “I’m going to kiss you because I like to touch you.” He stopped with his lips an inch from hers. “And you do too.”
Amaryllis sucked in a breath as his lips touched hers. She wanted to keep the kiss light, because she was still angry, but as soon as his tongue stroked along her lips, she opened her mouth for more. Her arms went around him, and she kissed him with all the passion that had built up inside her while they’d sat together holding hands and her sisters had laughed about their quick marriage.
Her stomach fluttered, and she again felt tingling in her woman’s place that was still sore from earlier. She pulled him closer, actually looking forward to one aspect of being married to him. He may not be trustworthy, but he could make her body sing.
Finally, he pulled his mouth from hers, resting his forehead on her own. “I love you, Rilly. I’m going to make you the happiest woman in Seattle.”
*****
Alex came by the library to see Amaryllis right before close the following afternoon. “I’m going to see my parents tonight so I can tell them about the wedding. I’ve talked to the pastor, and he’ll be at your house at two for the ceremony.”
Amaryllis sighed. “Okay. Thanks for giving me the time of the wedding.” She put down the small stack of books she had been working on reshelving and picked up the book she was reading to take home with her. “I’ll let Mama know.”
“I want you to come with me to tell my parents. I need them to think we’re both happy about this, just like you needed your sisters to think we’re happy.” His eyes dared her to argue with him.
“I’d really rather not.” His parents both knew about Sarah and that Alex had betrayed her. How could she possibly smile at them and tell them she wanted to marry their son who she couldn’t trust?
“I’d rather you did. Please, Rilly. I’m not asking for anything else from you. Make this my wedding gift.”
Amaryllis shrugged. “Fine. I’ll walk over with you.” She wouldn’t hurt his parents for the world.
“Thank you.” His eyes bored into hers. “This means a lot to me.”
“I like your parents,” she answered honestly, trying to give the impression that she was doing it only for his parents’ sake and not for his. She couldn’t let him get close. That was her biggest fear about being married to him. She couldn’t let him know how she felt about him.
She locked the door to the library, and they walked through the busy streets to the battered women’s shelter.
When his mother opened the door and saw the two of them together, she immediately had tears in her eyes. “Amaryllis! It’s so good to see you!” She pulled the younger girl into her embrace. “What are you two doing here?” She was so obviously excited just to see them show up at her door together, Amaryllis knew she had to convince her she was in love.
Alex smiled at his mother, thrilled that she was so happy to see Amaryllis. His mother had always had a fondness for his fiancé, and he was thrilled to be able to tell her they were getting married. “Is John around?” he asked, wanting to give them the news together.
Mildred looked at him. “Are you going to ignore me and talk to John all night again?”
Alex laughed. “No, I just want him here as well.”
Mildred nodded. “I’ll run and get him. Amaryllis? Why don’t you put some coffee on? I just baked a cake.”
Amaryllis went to the kitchen and opened the cupboards to get the coffee beans down, putting them in the grinder automatically. Coffee was the on
e thing she was adept at making, but only because Mildred had taught her while she volunteered there. Alex leaned against the counter watching her as she carefully measured the grounds and put them into the pot.
“I didn’t know you could make coffee,” he told her.
“Don’t get too excited. Making coffee is really the only thing I know how to do around the house other than embroider. I’m going to be a useless wife.” She knew he was planning on basing most of his practice on helping the battered women in the area, so she envisioned a life of poverty. They hadn’t discussed her continued work with the library, but she assumed he would make her quit. She didn’t bring it up, because she wanted to be able to work for as long as she could. Not necessarily for the small amount of money it brought in, but because she enjoyed her work so much.
“I can do most household chores. I cooked for myself a lot while I was at college.” He shrugged. “My mother taught me some of the basics as well. She had a broken arm for a while, and I did a lot of the cooking, so my father wouldn’t get angry.” He left the rest of his statement unspoken. She knew his father had abused his mother, and everything was explained in that short sentence.
“Well, I’m glad one of us can cook then.”
Mildred came back then with John Higgins in tow. Amaryllis knew that Alex called the older man John, but her family had always referred to him as simply “Higgins.” He’d moved out here with her aunt when she’d come to marry her uncle Max as a mail order bride. There weren’t a lot of mail order brides who brought their butlers along with them, but Harriett’s situation had been unusual all along.
Amaryllis turned away from the stove. “Higgins!” She flew into his arms and hugged him tightly. He was an honorary uncle to her, which was what had made her break-up with Alex even harder than it would have been. “It’s so good to see you.”
“You could have come by anytime. I wish you hadn’t shut us out.”
Amaryllis shrugged, looking down at her feet. She knew she hadn’t handled things well. When she’d heard about Alex and Sarah, she’d refused to do any more volunteer work for the shelter and had instead dedicated her time to a local orphanage. Her parents had insisted on volunteer work for each of the girls once they’d reached an age where they could help.
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