With My Whole Heart

by MariaLisa deMora

  Digging in his pocket, he pulled out the wadded ball of paper and handed it back.

  Bet she’ll accept it from Coop and Marie.

  Chapter Seven

  Jaime

  “What do you mean there’s an advance payment?” Jaime stared at Sarah, no less confused than she’d been this morning when she checked her bank balance to find it was thousands of dollars healthier than it had been in years. She had spent hours racking her brain, trying to figure this out. The deposit was clearly from the clinic, but it didn’t make any sense. It still didn’t. “Everything is in escrow until we have the sonogram with the heartbeat.” That was what the paperwork all said. She was certain of it. She’d read it three times this morning alone. “We’re not scheduled for the first procedure until tomorrow.”

  Sarah smiled at her. “In most cases, yes. Because the Thompsons have been through the process before, there’s an exception.”

  “An exception?” Jaime shook her head. The money was a windfall, because it would allow her to move to a better apartment immediately, screw the eviction notice and screw Solon. She already had a line on a different place. But she couldn’t spend it if there was a chance it would be rescinded. “What does that mean?”

  “Maybe bonus is a better word.” Sarah tapped for several moments on her keyboard, and the printer behind her whirred to life. “I should have had you sign this before I authorized the transfer, but I knew you’d be coming in tomorrow.” She shrugged and whirled to grab the single sheet of paper off the tray. Sliding it across the desk, she flashed a broad smile that held just a tiny bit of unease which did nothing to settle Jaime’s nerves. “I didn’t expect to see you today, but here, you can sign it now.” Sarah took a pen from the holder near her computer, laying it beside the paper.

  “Tell me why there’s a bonus I didn’t know about.” Jaime didn’t look down, didn’t break eye contact. This meant she saw the tiny bit of unease grow into a flare. “It’s not illegal, is it?” The relief Sarah showed her was real. So it wasn’t illegal, but it was out of the norm, which made Jaime nervous.

  “No, not illegal,” Sarah confirmed. “Not at all. It is…unexpected. But then again you and the Thompsons have made a strong connection in the weeks you’ve known each other. It’s only natural they want to thank you for what you’re doing in the only way they really can.” One corner of her mouth quirked up as she said, “Personally, I think it’s beyond sweet. That paper”—she pointed to the sheet still lying on the desk—“is an addendum to the contract. It doesn’t call it a bonus. The legal language doesn’t allow for that. It’s a compensation increase with an advance. Covers everyone that way.” Tipping her head to one side, she paused a moment and her face softened as she quietly said, “It’s a good thing, Jaime.”

  After spending two sleepless nights fruitlessly trying to figure out how to stay in their apartment, Jaime did the only thing she could. She burst into tears, burying her face in her hands.

  ***

  Connor

  “Need any reading material?” Cooper’s voice was amused as he tapped Connor’s shoulder with his fist. Amused, but tight, exposing the emotion that had him in its grip. They were at the clinic, waiting.

  “No, man. I got this.” Connor held up his phone, waggling it back and forth. “I’m the jizz master, brother. All the material I could need, right here in this tiny, mysterious box they call a smartphone.” He snorted a laugh. “Jesus, Coop.”

  Frowning, Cooper said, “You’re quick on the draw with that.” A look of concern flashed across his face. “You abstained, right?”

  Rolling his eyes, knowing it was nerves that were driving his brother crazy, Connor laughed. “Yeah, bro. I told you, I got this. Not my first rodeo. I’ve gone without my hand for a week now. We’re good, Coop. Swear.”

  “I know. I hate the waiting. Sorry.” Cooper shook his head and leaned back in the uncomfortable chair. “I can’t thank you enough, Connor. This means—”

  Connor cut him off with a gesture. “We’ve had this convo. Anything for you, bro.”

  A knock sounded on the door and he chuckled, knowing it would be Marie. He gripped Cooper’s bicep and squeezed before he called out, “Oh, baby, do it again. That feels so good.”

  “Connor Allen Thompson, you don’t scare me. I’ll come in anyway.” Marie scolded through the door as he reached over to flip the lock on the doorknob. She pushed into the room. Sized for one, with three occupants it was now claustrophobic. Eyes only for Cooper, Marie breathed, “She’s here.”

  Cooper asked, “She prepped yet?” The egg retrieval procedure was today, which was why Connor’s presence was required. He didn’t have to be here, could have done his collection days ago and dropped it off to be frozen. That’s how they’d done things with Sam, but since then he’d read articles that suggested this was the better route.

  His part was easy.

  Connor glanced at the collection cup he’d placed on the table in the corner. Little tug, little pull, little imagination—he’d have the cup half-filled in no time. He thought about Jaime, calling up an image of her face. Not when she’d been crying and frustrated at him being an apparent bullying asshole, but when she first had gotten to the gym with Nate, and her innocent flirting had captured his attention along with his sudden knowledge of who she was. He felt his cock start to fatten and bit back a curse.

  She’d occupied his thoughts these past few days. After practice had ended, he had followed her and Nate outside, watched them wait for and then climb on the bus, their comfortable chatter telling him this was a standard mode of transportation. Nate had been animated, hands and body flung here and there as he described what he’d done that night. Once Connor had locked up after all the kids and parents were gone home, he’d gone straight to Cooper’s house and told him what he’d found out, then followed it with his idea.

  “Come on, Coop. She wouldn’t take it from me. But you didn’t see her with that boy, man. This is a woman who just needs a fucking break. I got the money, you know I do. Marie would totally be down with the idea.” Connor knew he was scowling, but he hadn’t expected to get any resistance. “Want me to talk to her instead? She’s gotten to be friends with Jaime, she’ll agree with me in a heartbeat.”

  “Fuck you,” Cooper shot back.

  “She just needs a break. You didn’t see the worry on her face. The smallest of breaks, man. I can give her one.” He didn’t want to talk about the motive behind this, content to let Cooper believe it was about the baby. Instead it was much more. It was about having that hole in his heart gone for the few short minutes he’d been talking to her, a sense of completeness he hadn’t known existed until Cole died and he lost it.

  “We’ll have to tell Marie.” That was the signal for Cooper’s surrender, and Connor grinned, knowing he’d won.

  His part would consist of thinking of her, mostly.

  Her part, much harder.

  IVs and meds, nurses and techs hovering around her, she’d be scarcely covered by the thin gown as she lay on her back. Lot of trust there, wide open for anyone to see, sedated. He’d read articles about this, too; there was danger involved for an egg donor, and he wondered suddenly why they were doing it in vitro and not intrauterine. Jesus, my brain.

  “They’re doing the final interview.” Marie’s words pulled him out of his thoughts and he blinked at her. “Prep next. I just wanted to give you an update. Since she’s in the building, you could—” Marie paused a beat and grinned at Connor. “—you know. Get started.”

  “Jesus, woman. Did you just tell my baby brother to jack off?” Cooper stood and herded her towards the door, Connor’s laughter following both of them. “That ain’t right.” The closing door cut off anything else Cooper might have been going to say.

  Hand to the knob, Connor locked the door and leaned back, eyeing the container. Showtime.

  ***

  Jaime

  “No, I don’t have anyone.” In tears, Jaime looked at the nurse. “I
don’t drive, though. I take the bus. That’s okay, right?” Since the treatments had started, her emotions had been all over the place, and she’d found herself crying at the drop of a hat. Thirty-six hours ago on the nose, she’d been in this same room, bent over, ass in the air, waiting on the shot that would trigger her eggs. “Why didn’t anyone say anything?”

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Grimes.”

  Jaime shook her head and corrected her, suddenly angry instead of devastated. “It’s Miss, not Mrs.”

  The nurse picked up smoothly, telling Jaime by her actions and easy manner that she didn’t think Jaime was nutso. This behavior was obviously normal in fertilityland. “Miss Grimes, I don’t know why it wasn’t explained specifically, but I do know it’s in the paperwork we provide. We ask that you bring an adult who can accompany you home and stay with you for just the first couple of hours.”

  “Well, I don’t have anyone.” Admitting that was harder than she expected, which was likely why she’d apparently glossed over the information in the packet. “I thought that was just to drive, and like I said, I don’t drive.”

  “Let me just step out and tell the Thompsons.” At the nurse’s words, Jaime’s throat clogged with renewed tears. Three weeks of treatments thrown away because she didn’t have a friend to call.

  ***

  Connor

  “Bro.” A knock came from the door just as Connor screwed the lid on the container. “Don’t bother.” Anger and frustration flooded through him at the defeated tone in his brother’s voice. “We’re not a go.”

  “I thought the ultrasound showed she had several eggs ready?” Connor used a wipe he’d already taken out of the package to clean his cock, then tucked himself away, straightening his boxers before fastening his pants. Another month of these motherfuckers, he thought in annoyance as he wiped his fingers and tossed the trash.

  “She does. There’s a wrinkle.” Connor unlocked the door and yanked it open, suddenly certain he knew what the wrinkle was. Shit. Totally fucking read her wrong. Didn’t think she was that type.

  “Oh, I bet there’s a wrinkle.” He stared at Cooper, seeing the lines of fatigue in his features.

  “No, it’s not her backing out. If anything, she’s more upset than anyone else, even Marie.” Cooper sighed. “She doesn’t have anyone to stay with her. We, Marie and I, could take her to a hotel, but she started freaking out about her son. She’s just upset and not thinking straight. I guess there’s something tonight that he doesn’t want to miss, and she promised him they’d go. She thought the whole ‘bring an adult with you’ was just to drive, and since she takes the bus everywhere—” He shrugged and sighed. “—she didn’t think it applied. We’ll sort it out for next month.”

  “She needs a ride?” Connor clipped out the words in disbelief. “We’re scrapping this month because she needs a fucking ride and a babysitter?”

  “She’s upset, Connor. Marie’s in with her now, but she’s not backing out.”

  “I’ll do it.” Connor lifted his chin as Cooper stared at him. “She needs a ride, I’m it. Needs a babysitter, I’m there, too. Nate needs a ride to practice, I’m his ride. No problem.” He swallowed, not sure how he felt about the idea of spending so many hours with Jaime when he’d just used her image to jack off to. “I’m there, bro. Maybe I should…officially meet her.”

  Excitement lighting his face, without answering, Cooper angled a finger to point at the specimen cup. Connor leaned into the room and grabbed it, then turned to follow him up the hallway. He stopped at the window to pass it off to the tech, then walked to where Cooper had stopped in front of a door. He could hear sobs of “I’m so sorry,” through the thin wood and as he listened found himself absently scrubbing at his sternum.

  Cooper glanced at him and said, “Wait here,” then lifted one hand and rapped on the door. Connor heard soft voices, and Jaime’s hiccupping sobs slowly died off, becoming softer and less frequent. After a moment, Marie called, “Come in.”

  The door closed behind Cooper, and Connor was left standing alone in the hallway, but only for a moment before Marie was in front of him, tear-streaked face studying him. “She’s upset.” Connor nodded. “Be nice.” When he didn’t respond, her brows inched together, and the tiny wrinkle appeared between them that Cooper called her “I want” line.

  Connor smiled and cupped her face in his hands, bringing her close so he could kiss it away. “Love you, little sister. I’ll be nice.”

  She moved and he stepped through the door to see Jaime seated next to the tiny desk, a handful of tissues held to her face. “Jaime,” he said, “I’m Coach Thompson.” When he spoke her name, she shivered and lowered the tissues, her eyes widening in incredulity when they landed on him.

  “Oh. My. God.” Her pauses were distinct, and he tried not to grin at how cute that was. “You’re Coach. The coach from basketball. Nate’s coach.” He lost his battle with the grin, and when she frowned in response, he smiled wider. “Cooper said you would drive me home.”

  Cooper must have left off the babysitting and shuttling to and from practice, but he wouldn’t rock the boat at this point. “Yes. If that’s the only thing standing in the way of this thing moving forwards, I’m happy to be your personal cabbie today.” He took a step closer and squatted, putting one knee to the floor, bringing his face level with hers. “From talking to Coop and Marie, I know that you’re all-in on this, and I want you to know I am, too. The three of us”—without looking back, he gestured behind him, indicating his brother and sister-in-law—“have been in this together. Jaime, now you’re in it with us, too. This is the least I can do.” He took a breath and held it, waiting.

  She nodded, and Marie gave a strangled cry. Jaime’s eyes never left Connor’s face. “Okay. They said that I need someone for a couple of hours.” Her hard swallow was audible. This was a woman not accustomed to asking for anything. “Could you…?”

  “As long as is needed. Tonight is practice so I can drive all of us there, too.”

  “Okay.” This time it came faster and he smiled.

  Cooper muttered, “I’ll go talk to the office.” The door opened and closed.

  “Thank you.” Even without looking, he knew Marie had gone with Cooper. “What you’re doing for them. It’s…it means an awful lot to a bunch of people.”

  “They are genuinely good people.” Her eyes grew bright and she fluttered a hand in front of her face. “Sorry. I do this all the time now.” She sniffed, and he tugged a couple of tissues from a box on the desk, passing them over. “As you witnessed the other night. Sorry about that.” She waved the tissues. “I’m not normally like this.”

  “You seem to be genuinely good people, too.” At his words, her eyes got bright again and she looked to the side. Okay, douche, don’t make the ovulating chick cry. All women liked talking about their kids, right? “Nate’s a good kid. I was impressed by him last week.”

  “The best.” She gave a tiny laugh, but her smile was big. Score with the topic change. “He’s a character. Love him.”

  “Have you met Sam yet? He’s the best little guy. Gutsy and fierce, he’s gonna give Coop a run for his money when he’s older.” He liked how her face softened at that. “Nate told me he’s in high school?” That had been a surprise, and he had wondered if Nate was lying when Connor asked him why he didn’t know any of the kids his own age. “He’s nine, right?”

  She nodded, lips quivering again and he wondered why talking about her son would bring on the tears afresh. “He takes after his daddy in the brains department. Brice was a musical prodigy, could have done anything, but the mathematics of music composition spoke to his soul.” She’d said “was” and now he understood how it was she had such empathy for his family’s loss. “Brice was killed in a car wreck when I was pregnant with Nathan. He never got to see his son. He would be so proud of Nate.”

  “Nine years old and in high school. Man, that’s amazing. What’s he interested in, other than basketball?” He shook h
is head. “This explains a lot, because I was stumped how he was deconstructing the drills. He spent a few minutes trying to tell one of the assistant coaches how to change things to get more benefit.” Connor laughed. “When it got back to me, I validated the theory, not knowing until afterwards it came from a nine-year-old. I planned on talking to him tonight, explain why college-level drills weren’t appropriate for grade school players.”

  “He’s opinionated and doesn’t have the maturity to filter through what he reads. Sometimes he gets ahead of himself.” She was smiling now, at least, and he liked the look on her far better than the tears. “He’s very into science right now. All of this”—she waved her hand at her belly—“probably doesn’t help.”

  “He knows what’s going on?” Connor snorted a laugh. “Never mind. Don’t answer that. Of course he does. Some kids you could hide a pregnancy from, but not if he’s that smart. You have your job cut out for you, little lady.”

  The door swung open followed by a belated knock, and Connor turned around to see a nurse standing there. Her eyes went back and forth between them as she smiled warmly. “I’m glad to see you were able to call a friend in, Miss Grimes. We’re ready for you.” Turning to Connor, she said, “Partners can come back and be with the patient until we’re ready to begin, then you’ll have to go to the waiting room. Sorry.”

  “Oh, he’s—”

  Connor spoke over Jaime, cutting her off. “Sounds good.” From his position on the floor, he had to look up slightly. There was an expression of uncertainty on her face as he echoed his earlier thoughts. “You’re doing the hard part. Least I can do is hold your hand.”

  Sitting in the waiting room with Cooper and Marie was the longest hour of his life until the doctor came out. “Five eggs. We’ve already introduced the sperm to the container. Now we see what they look like in a few days.”