Evil Inside Me
“Me? What makes you think I had anything to do with your experience last night?” she asked. “Maybe it was the, uh, ghost. You said it was strong.”
He could hear uncertainty and skepticism in her voice. She wasn't a believer - yet. She was close but the simple fact that she stumbled over the word ghost when she'd been literally lifted off of her feet by an unseen presence hadn't convinced her of the reality. “A ghost like that isn’t new to me,” he said. “Being able to move while I’m divided is. The only difference was you.” It was true. It had to have something to do with her but he didn’t know how or what. She clearly wasn’t aware of it. Or she was a really good actress. He didn’t think that was the case though, which was why he had to get closer to her. He needed to learn her secrets so he could protect his team, and stay alive. If his dreams were right, this woman would be the cause of his death. Worse, she would stand by and watch him die. He looked over to see Chaos deep in thought, like she was trying to solve a riddle. Her brow was furrowed. She chewed on her bottom lip. The attention on her mouth caused a stirring deep inside him. He looked away and instead focused his attention on the bowl of rock salt sitting on the coffee table in the center of the room.
“Isn’t it dangerous to leave your body open - without your soul inside? Couldn't something take over your body?”
It was a good question and one he hadn't expected from her. But it terrified him. That is exactly what happened in the dream his ancestors sent him. “Yes. It has happened before. Most of the time I can sense it happening and snap back inside my body. I’ve had to fight for it before but I’ve learned how to win. Sometimes, though, and this is why Linda wanted me to tell you about this, sometimes dark energy gets inside. It hides. I don't know it’s there except for the fact that it drains me of energy. I don't feel like myself. There’s evil inside me.”
“Evil?”
“Yes, lustful, vengeful, hateful, greedy. Evil.”
“Oh,” she said, waving her hand and dismissing him.“That’s just human nature. Maybe you’re just weakened to fight that part of your nature.”
“Maybe.”He wondered if she was remembering his offer to fuck earlier. Wondering if that was negative energy or if it was really him.
“And this cleansing stuff, it cleans the dark energy out of you?”
“Yes. It can get pretty ugly and Linda probably wanted me to warn you about what you’re going to see.”
“You mean we’re not done yet?”
“Nope.”
“What am I going to see?”
“Depends on how much darkness got inside. Don’t worry; it won't be like the exorcist or anything. My head won't spin around. I usually get sick and sometimes I have a seizure. I really wish you weren't here for this.” Dakota pushed to his feet to put some distance between them.
“You’ll change your mind,” Linda said entering the room. “I have a feeling that Chaos is going to be a great help to you - to the entire team. She needs to see what we're up against. She needs to see the reality.”
Dakota groaned and scrubbed his hands through his hair. He should have known Linda would do this. She wanted Chaos to join the team and she wasn’t going to stop until she’d convinced her. But she didn’t know about his dreams. She didn’t know that Chaos was dangerous. Tell her. Tell Linda about your dreams. He could. He knew he probably should tell Linda about the warning and yet he held back. Linda had enough to deal with right now, more than anyone should have to deal with; he didn’t want to add to her burden. He could handle Chaos and whatever danger she presented on his own. “Brace yourself,” he said, not looking at Chaos. He didn't want to see whatever was in her eyes. Curiosity, compassion, pity, revulsion, understanding - he didn't want to see it.
Chapter Nineteen
Smoke Circles
Chaos felt her heart stutter. See the reality? She wasn't sure she wanted to see any more reality. She felt like she'd jumped headfirst into a 1980s horror movie and she was more than ready for the credits to run. And Dakota was giving her whiplash. One minute he was scowling at her, the next he was complimenting her. They’d been dancing around each other like two wolves in a strange mating ritual. It was exhausting. She needed his help pure and simple. She didn’t need anything else from him. It wasn’t an option.
“Dakota, are you ready to finish it?” Linda asked.
Chaos noted that he had a completely impassive look on his face. By all accounts he was in store for some pretty intense misery with this cleansing and he looked like Linda had just asked him if he wanted oatmeal for breakfast. He didn’t want her here; that much was clear. The question was why? Was he embarrassed? She didn’t think that was the reason. He didn’t seem to be self-conscious about anything. If his reaction to her in the shower was real then he was attracted to her. Doesn’t mean he likes you, she reminded herself. Doesn’t matter. You’re leaving soon anyway and you can’t get involved. But she could help him. The sooner he was cured or cleansed or whatever the sooner they could help her get rid of Dead Bill. “What do I do?”
“Good. Stand beside Dakota in the center of the room.”
They didn't touch but Chaos could feel the attraction coming off of him like heat waves off the pavement. She wanted to reach out and put her hands on him. The urge was so strong it hurt. She was in so much trouble here.
Linda crossed the room and picked up a thick bundle of sage. It smelled differently than before. She drew a big circle about ankle height around the two of them so they were standing inside a thick smoke ring. She then brought the sage up alongside Dakota’s body and traced his outline. She repeated the process with Chaos. So far, so good, she thought. Nothing too traumatic.
Dakota coughed. It sounded rough and phlegmy like he had a wicked cold. A thick plume of black smoke streamed from his mouth. What the..?
“It’s the darkness, dear Chaos. That beast that tried to snag you last night had some weaker friends. Dakota was vulnerable.”
The coughs wracked his body. Dakota shook. Each cough, like a jolt of electricity, made his body convulse and her heart wrench in agony. Chaos thought he was going to break a rib. She felt a surge of panic. He didn’t deserve this pain. “Can I help him?”
“I’m not sure. You might be able to. We haven't yet explored your full power.”
“I don't have any powers,” she snapped. “Help him.”
“You called spirits to you last night,” Linda said, ignoring her outburst. “No one I’ve ever met can do that.”
Chaos was beginning to doubt she’d done anything. It made more sense that she imagined the entire thing. But she didn’t dare tell Linda, certainly not right now anyway. Dakota needed her help. “So what do I do?”
“What do you want to do?”
Wring your neck, she thought. Why wasn’t Linda helping him? Focus, she reminded herself. What did she want to do? Touch him. She wanted to touch him but she didn’t dare admit to that. “I don’t know.”
Linda sighed and Chaos felt like she was disappointed in her. “Try calling on the light now like you did last night,” Linda said. “Ask the positive forces in the universe to fill Dakota. Visualize him full of light.”
Chaos closed her eyes and tried to imagine Dakota filled with light. She started by trying to picture dumping it out of a bucket and into his head to fill his body. It didn’t work. The bucket full of light vanished. Dakota’s coughing distracted her. She opened her eyes. Dakota, on his knees now, was leaning over the bucket that had been placed in the room and fluid, black as tar, streamed out of him.
She caught sight of his bare toes digging into the carpet and had an idea. She filled his toes with light. Visualized roots coming out of the ground and into his feet. The light slowly spread to his ankles. His feet were glowing. She worked her way up from there. Inch by inch she filled his body with light. It reached his knees, then his hips. She reached his navel and realized the coughing was lessening. She filled his ribcage with light up to his shoulders.
His breathing was raspy now but the coughing had stopped. The light extended out his fingertips and then back up his arms. It filled his neck, reached his jaw and then up to his eye sockets. A few inches to go. She was determined to fill his entire body with light. The process stalled. She could see the light beginning to drain from him like water from a bathtub. The level lowered.
Instinctively, she reached out and put her hand on his back. His body felt hot to the touch but she could tell from his reaction that her touch was helping. Taking her arm out of the sling, she put her other hand on him. Closing her eyes, Chaos pushed forward, filling the last remaining space in his skull with light. Illumination popped out the top of his skull and shot upwards through the ceiling and onwards toward the sky.
Chaos took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and focused back on Dakota. Still radiating light, he lie on the floor on his back and breathed heavily as if he’d just finished a marathon. Linda stood over him beaming.
“Did I help?”
“You did, dear. You saved him hours of agony fighting the darkness inside him. How did you do it?”
“I did what you said. I imagined him filling with light.”
“You asked God?”
Chaos took a step back. She’d stopped asking God for anything a long time ago. She’d used what came effortlessly to her; she’d used nature. “No. I…”
The basement door swung open. Feet thundered down the stairs. Chaos almost laughed out loud when Sheila’s platinum blonde pigtails burst into the room. She had a look of pure delight on her face. Like her team had just scored the winning touchdown.
“Chaos,” Sheila squealed. “Boy, do we have big plans for you.”
Chapter Twenty
Girl’s Night Out
“Your surprise is a girl’s night out?” Chaos sat on Linda’s couch in her living room upstairs and stared at Sheila dumbfounded. When Sheila had burst in announcing they had something big for her, she assumed it was an answer about how to get rid of Dead Bill since that was the reason she'd gotten mixed up with them to begin with. She hadn’t come here to make friends and socialize. It was out of the question. “I can't go out tonight.”
“Why not?” Sheila put her hands on her hips. She wasn't taking no for an answer. “Dead Bill won’t show up tonight. At least, not if you're with us. If you're alone in the hotel, well...”
“Nice,” Chaos said. “So you're emotionally blackmailing me into going out with you?”
“Hey, whatever works,” Kat said, emerging from the kitchen.
“I didn't know you were here,” Sheila said.
She took a bite out of an apple. “I'm sneaky like that,” Kat said. She snapped a photo with the camera that seemed to be glued to her hand. Chaos was getting tired of having her picture taken. “So is she ready to go?”
Kat wore skin tight jeans and black boots that came up to her knees. The deep V on her shimmery purple t-shirt plunged between her breasts. She made Chaos feel self-conscious about her own lack of sex appeal and style. “No. I’m telling you, I can't go.”
“And I told her that Dead Bill isn't the problem. But something else is. What is it, Chaos? Don’t you like us?”
“Yes, I like you.” She actually liked them a lot. It’d been a long time since she had friends and she was starting to think of this weird group as just that. Which meant they were in danger. Something would happen; it always did. “It’s not that. I just don't go out.”She really had no idea how to explain it to them without sounding pathetic, which is what she felt right now. Pathetic.
“Why not?” Sheila asked.
Chaos chewed her bottom lip. She didn’t feel comfortable telling them about her bad luck. Maybe they wouldn’t want to help her, but they deserved to know. It was time. “Bad things happen to people who get close to me.”
“They won't happen tonight, Chaos.”Linda yelled from downstairs. “I’ve got your necklace, remember. Go out and see what happens. It’ll be a good test. If the night is uneventful then you know it's the necklace and not you.”
Kat took another huge bite from her apple. “The necklace?”
“The necklace my mom gave me. She was wearing it when she died and Linda thinks it's cursed.” Chaos still fought the urge to roll her eyes. Curses, cleansings, psychics, and ghosts still didn’t feel like reality. She felt a bit silly even talking about it.
“Well, Linda would know.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“She doesn’t mean anything by it. Come out with us. I've seen your future,” she grinned. Chaos couldn't tell if she was kidding or not. “Nothing too eventful will happen. I promise. It’ll be a good test.”
“And if a riot does start, and we all die, then we'll blame you,” Kat laughed.
“Funny.”
“Seriously. We’ve been warned and we can protect ourselves.”
A spark of hope lingered just a bit too long inside Chaos. She gave in. It’d be so nice to go out and have fun without worrying about the damage inflicted on others. “I don’t have anything to wear.”She was wearing her standard uniform: jeans, dirty work boots, and a white t-shirt. In contrast to Kat, Chaos felt like a boy. A carrot had more sex appeal than she did. Sheila looked cute, too. She wore pink Capri pants, strappy sandals and a pale blue short sleeved shirt with ruffles down the center like a tuxedo.
“Kid,” Kat said, wrapping her long fingers around Chaos’s arm and steering her towards the door, “Where we're going your get up is damn near perfect.”
They headed north out of town on highway thirty-six. Chaos couldn't believe how amazingly beautiful this area of the country was. Sure, New Mexico had a mysterious beauty, especially the area where she lived. While she spent her days creating manicured lawns and rose gardens in the desert, the desert itself was much more beautiful. Full of rich reds and browns, she could spend hours just looking out at the rolling hills covered with cactus and sage.
But the foothills of the Rocky Mountains held their own mystique. It felt in some areas like you were roaming where dinosaurs and ancient people once roamed. It had a naturally wild feel. With the top open on the Jeep it made her feel, well, naturally wild herself. The promise of no trouble tonight and no visit from Dead Bill had her feeling hopeful, euphoric. She’d never had an uneventful night out on the town with anyone. Something bad always happened. It’s why she had no friends. It’s why she was a workaholic. It’s why she was lonely. “So where are we going?”
“Oskar Blues,” Sheila said, peeking in between the driver and passenger seat. “It’s a restaurant bar in Lyons with great food, even better beer and live music to die for.”
“Bad turn of phrase to use when you're with me.”
“Girl, you're going to have to lighten up.” Kat tugged another cigarette from her purse and lit it. She’d smoked three in the fifteen minutes they’d been on the road. “This Jeep does a number on your hair,” she said, gathering her hair in her hands.
Sheila popped her head between the two seats again. “You can fix it when we get there. I want to hear some of these stories. It’s just too damn cool to think that she's lived her entire life with a curse.”
“Yeah. How many people have died, Chaos?”
Chaos winced and Sheila punched Kat in the shoulder. “That wasn't cool.”
“No. It's okay. I can understand the curiosity. If I met someone like me…well, to be honest, I would call them a liar. No one could have the bad luck I’ve had in my life.”
“Later, honey,” Kat waved her hand in the air like she was trying to wave away their worries. “Tell us after you've had a few Mama's Little Yella Pils.”
“Pils?”
“You’ll see.” Sheila leaned back in her seat and then popped forward again. “Hey, I have my iPod with me. Wanna listen to some tunes?”
“No!” Chaos and Kat said simultaneously.
“No Olivia Newton-John. You can’t do that to Chaos.”
Following Kat’s directions, Chaos pulled into the parking lot o
f the restaurant. From the lot she could see that the balcony was packed with people and there were more than a few dozen motorcycles in the lot. Clad in leather, a large flock of bikers milled about on the outside deck. They reminded Chaos of a flock of blackbirds at a picnic. Chaos scanned the lot. There were more motorcycles than cars. Her yellow Jeep stood out like a sunflower in a cactus garden. The bikes, most of them anyway, were beautiful and well maintained. “A biker bar?”
“No. Not really and not any old biker bar. It’s a good place to hang out. The bikers come here after they’ve been out riding in the mountains but it’s not like that. Don’t worry,” Kat said. “We’re not asking for trouble.”
As she climbed out of the Jeep, anxiety began to replace the freedom Chaos had felt inside. Something would happen tonight. Someone would get hurt and it’d be her fault. She’d lose her friends and any chance to get rid of Bill. “This is a bad idea.”
Sheila grabbed one arm and Kat grabbed the other. “Trust us.”
After a giant plate of Jambalaya and Dirty Rice and three Mama's Little Yella Pils, which turned out to be the home brewed pilsner the place was famous for, Chaos was starting to lighten up. Sitting by an open window, Chaos could see the parking lot below. The bar was three stories tall with outside seating and a bandstand on the main and bottom levels. Blues music filled the building and crisp fall air blew in from outside. The bikers, and there were at least a hundred of them, turned out to be just peaceful rib eating music lovers. No trouble. Not even a grumble of animosity. For the first time in her life, Chaos felt relaxed and free. Maybe the necklace was cursed, she thought. Maybe without it, she could live a normal life without causing harm to anyone she cared about. Her heart and head ran wild with the possibilities. A boyfriend, she thought. She could have sex. Ha! Better yet, she could have sex with Dakota. She’d imagined it enough times, the reality would be astounding. She could have a husband and a family. Wouldn’t it be wonderful? Maybe it was possible. And maybe roses don’t have thorns, she thought. There was still Dead Bill to contend with and despite her new friends’ confidence, Bill was dangerous. Getting rid of him wasn’t going to be easy. Worry about it all tomorrow, she told herself. Tonight, try to have some fun.
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