The Magical Peppers and the Great Vanishing Act

by Sian Pattenden

  ou did it!”

  Esmé was astonished, even though she had been told earlier how the trick worked.

  In the blink of an eye – or maybe even half a blink – Potty had actually made the magic shed disappear. Then after a few seconds the shed reappeared and Potty jumped four times on the spot with glee. If he could make the museum disappear in a similar way, he would perform a sensational trick that would go down in the history books.

  “It works!” Potty shouted. “We can make this happen!”

  Monty grinned as Esmé went to get a packet of biscuits from the kitchen to celebrate.

  “We are ready,” sighed Potty, contentedly sitting on the grass, after his fifth Hob Nob.

  “Bring on the royal event,” said Monty.

  “In all totality,” added Esmé.

  Four days later, in the early evening, Potty and the Pepper twins arrived at the Mega-Million Super Museum for the dress rehearsal, but found that the place was deserted. Unlike before, there were no cleaners to be seen, no lighting technicians or other workers trying not to fall from the ceiling. The Peppers and Uncle Potty walked up the smooth stone steps and into the building. Each was rather nervous: Potty’s eyebrow kept twitching and Monty was chewing his fingernails.

  “I had a nightmare last night,” admitted Monty. “The Queen put me in the Tower of London because she didn’t like Potty’s trick. Then she cut off my head. It rolled about, then started performing mind-magic on a beefeater.”

  As they neared the top of the steps, Henry J. Henry appeared. Potty gently pulled him to one side and Esmé watched as they spoke.

  “I’ve practised the trick,” said the Potty Magician. “And I’m extremely happy with it.”

  Henry smiled, his extra-shiny shoes glinting in the evening sun as if they were happy too. “And will the skull be OK for your show?”

  “Of course, Mr Henry, it’s going to be a fantastic start to the act.” Potty was thrilled that it was all coming together. “But we will need to perform the trick at night-time.”

  “That is not a problem. You will appear at the end of the show. There is a juggler first, then the mayor is going to come on and say something rather boring, then you.”

  “We will need to have the Queen sitting just to the left of the building, in a specially marked seat,” instructed Potty. “That way she will be in the perfect spot to witness the museum’s disappearance.”

  “I imagine you’re expecting a little medal for this, eh, Mr Potty?” said Henry, nudging the performer. “Heh heh – a reward for all that hard work?”

  Uncle Potty was taken aback. “No no! I had nothing like that in mind. I just want to put on a good show.”

  “Maybe a knighthood instead, hmm?”

  Esmé interrupted. “We’re here to do the best we can, Mr Henry, and if I may speak for Potty, I believe he has no interest in titles or medals.”

  Henry raised his eyebrows. “I admire your integrity, each one of you. Now, the light is starting to fade, so let’s begin rehearsals,” he beamed. “I’ll just get that crystal skull and put it into place out at the front. It’ll be a show to remember, Mr Potty.”

  “In all totality!” announced Potty in the spotlight, swinging his magic wand in the air as if he was the conductor of a small orchestra. He was wearing a new purple cape over his tweed suit, trimmed with yellow pom-poms.

  Monty Pepper stood next to him, gazing up at the great magician in awe, awaiting instructions. He was dressed in a silver cape today, which made him look as if he had been wrapped in cooking foil.

  “Welcome,” Potty told the crowd – which this afternoon consisted of just Esmé and Henry J. Henry – “to the show of a lifetime… nay, an epoch.”

  Esmé sat watching the trick from a plastic chair, thrilled to be sitting in the exact spot the Queen would occupy in precisely two days’ time.

  Potty and Monty stood on the main path in front of the museum, behind the crystal skull, which was perched on a plump velvet cushion on a small plinth. It glinted in the spotlight. To Potty’s right was the Plants from Really Really Ancient Times display. To his left stood two mammoth security guards, Trevor and Heather Bonce, making sure that the skull was protected at all times. They had matching bumbags with the words Bonce Security™ sewn on them in curly gold lettering.

  “And now, witness the incredible… the magical… crystal skull,” said Potty, pointing to the precious slab of crystal. Monty nodded his head and also pointed to the skull with his own magic wand, then shot a quick glance at Esmé, who gave him an encouraging smirk.

  “The skull hails from the ancient Mexica civilisation,” said Potty, who liked to be informative as well as entertaining. “The Mexica people believed the crystal skull was imbued with a spirit that would grant them good fortune and real fortune.”

  Here, Potty produced a pound coin from behind Monty’s ear. “But what happens at dusk,” asked Potty, his long hands fluttering over the top of the skull, “when the sun goes down and the spirits themselves make merry?”

  The trick was timed to coincide exactly with sunset; the light was already fading and Uncle Potty raised his hands slowly above his head. Monty, after a slight pause, did the same. Then both Potty and Monty clapped their hands twice, in unison.

  “Darkness!” Potty shouted as the spotlights went out. “We have embraced the night!”

  The performers were plunged into the dark for a couple of seconds, then a bright white spotlight fell on the plinth – and the cushion was bare. Potty had managed to make the crystal skull disappear in record time.

  Esmé stood up and started to applaud. “Hurray!” she shouted, eager to express her admiration. As she looked to her left, Esmé noticed that Henry J. Henry was standing beside her.

  “A simply wonderful act,” he said, grinning at Esmé.

  The spotlight widened so that both Potty and Monty were illuminated.

  “I will now find my magic wand and make the skull disappear!” said Potty. He smiled at the crowd while fishing in his cape.

  Monty moved over and nudged his uncle in the ribs.

  “Potty,” he muttered, “the skull has already disappeared!”

  “What?” answered the Potty Magician. “That can’t be...” He glanced at the plinth in disbelief. Then he froze, mouth open.

  Henry J. Henry, realising all was not as it should be, started walking towards him. “Has something gone wrong?” he asked.

  Esmé followed Henry.

  “What’s happening?” she asked.

  “I do apologise,” Potty addressed Henry J. Henry, “but we seem to have lost the crystal skull.”

  “You are joking, of course,” replied Henry, seeming a little confused.

  “Are you sure it’s lost?” asked Esmé. “Isn’t it in your cape?

  But the look on Monty and Potty’s faces suggested that this was not a joke and that the skull was most definitely lost.

  “I don’t understand it,” said Potty. “This has never happened to me before, Mr Henry. I am so terribly sorry.”

  But Henry was not happy, despite Potty’s apologies.

  “I put my trust in you, old sport,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “I lent you that skull so that your trick would be the greatest. You knew it was not just a fabulous historical object, valuable to scientists and the public alike. You knew it was – is – worth a great deal of money. I put it to you that you have stolen the skull.”

  “This is simply not true!” exclaimed Potty.

  “Mr Potty, I showed you the exhibits myself and in confidence. I told you how precious the skull was. You – yes, you – have decided to repay me by snatching this valuable piece.”

  Esmé gasped. How had he come to this conclusion? Potty had never stolen anything in his life.

  “You may gasp, little girl, but it is the truth,” hissed Henry. “Potty has masterminded a devious plan, and I am horrified. Never trust a magician. Guards, seize him!”

  Heather and Trevor Bonce moved in and gra
bbed Potty by the shoulders. Monty ran to his sister’s side.

  “Unhand me, you fools!” Potty shouted to the guards as they tussled with both him and his satin cape. “Henry, I can prove I didn’t steal the skull.”

  “Nonsense. You’re as guilty as can be.”

  “Let Potty show you he hasn’t got it,” pleaded Esmé.

  “But Potty is a magician,” said Henry, turning round to Esmé. “He fools people for a living. He hides a wand here, a silk scarf there – his whole life is spent tricking people.”

  Esmé tried to appeal to reason for the last time. “There has simply been a mistake, Mr Henry.”

  “It’s a matter for the police now,” spat the museum boss as the Bonces dragged Potty away.

  “This is madness, Mr Henry!” yelled Monty.

  Potty struggled, but the guards’ grip was far too strong, probably due to the fact that they had biceps as big as cowbells. In an instant, they bundled Potty into a waiting van, which sped off quickly.

  Esmé grabbed Monty before Henry spotted them and they both hid behind a Corinthian pillar.

  “What are we going to do?” she asked. “We both know Potty didn’t steal the skull.”

  Monty nodded.

  “I’ve got a nasty feeling that Henry made the skull disappear using his magician’s skills – and so he must still have it somewhere,” said Esmé.

  Monty agreed. “One moment it was there, the next moment it was gone.”

  “We need to find the skull, then present it to Henry as proof.”

  “But how?”

  “We dash into the museum and start looking there, before anyone spots us,” said Esmé, thinking fast. “It’s bound to be nearby. This is the perfect opportunity.”

  Monty sighed. “We have to save Potty.”

  Esmé held his hand and the two Pepper twins scuttled off through the main doors and into the vastness of the Mega-Million Super Museum, desperate to uncover the truth.

  An excerpt from

  TRICK: Mind Magic Spook Tumbler

  Find a glass tumbler and put it upside down on a table in front of your crowd. Now find a small object in your possession, such as a piece of jewellery. Take the object in your hands, roll it about a bit and talk about how many magical vibes it has. Now put the object on the table and choose six people from your audience to come up. Turn your back while someone from the small group puts that object under the tumbler, supervised by your assistant, and then turn round again. Now tell them that using mind magic, you will guess who put the object under the tumbler when your back was turned. Tell each of the six people to place an index finger slowly on the inverted tumbler to create more magical vibes, and you will correctly guess who it was who placed the object there. Your audience will be astonished when you are right!

  The secret is that your assistant will have seen who placed the object under the tumbler, and you have told said helper in advance to sniff just as the tumbler is touched by the person who placed the object.

  Salutations! It’s a winner!

  The midnight spook show was once a very popular form of entertainment. During the evening, a magician would entertain a drawing room full of people with the summoning of ghosts: noises would be heard from inside empty cupboards, strange breezes would be felt from nowhere at all, tables would suddenly tip up or objects fly around the room. These tricks were just that – tricks – but some folk believed the magician to have supernatural powers and gave him all their money.

  Frolicsome as ghosties seem, never pretend you are a spook. It will not bring you riches – it will cause countless problems instead. If you do want to perform some of the mind-magic tricks we have in here, make sure that your audience know this is just entertainment and you are no more psychic and supernatural than anyone else.

  In all totality,

  enry J. Henry stood next to the Bonces outside the museum while Potty was carted away in the van. Henry had forgotten, for the moment, about Esmé and Monty.

  Now the Pepper twins were inside the museum, they realised how cold and dark it was at night. Monty shivered. The walls, lit by moonlight from windows in the ceiling, looked a ghostly blue-white. The marble seemed to glow in the dark and the smell of citrus cleaning fluid stung the air.

  “Now, first things first,” said Esmé, as they walked along one of the many corridors. “Did you see Henry tamper with the skull or the cushion before the rehearsal?”

  “I didn’t notice anything,” replied Monty. “Potty and I were too busy gearing up for the trick.”

  “He must have used his magician’s skills,” said Esmé. “What could he have done?”

  “Hole in the cushion?” ventured Monty.

  “No, you would have noticed.”

  “Trapdoor in the ground?”

  “Outside the museum?” asked Esmé. “The ground looks pretty solid.”

  “It might look like solid ground,” replied Monty, “but in my experience, trapdoors can be anywhere.”

  “Well, it’s a possibility,” said Esmé. “But where could Henry have put the skull once it had disappeared?”

  Monty thought hard. “In a mysterious cupboard?”

  “Hang on!” Esmé had had a brainwave. “Didn’t Sir Hans Toast devise a special code inside the museum?”

  “Yes, and we saw it by Dr Dee’s mirror, I’m sure of it, even though Henry said it was something to do with the audio tour.”

  “Somehow the code reveals where the secret passageways are – it said so in my library book,” said Esmé excitedly. “Now, Henry claimed that he didn’t know about any passageways or tunnels. But if he did...”

  “He would have hidden the skull there! Perfect, Es.”

  “All we have to do is find the mirror and read the code.”

  “Let’s go!”

  The Pepper twins set off in the direction of the Big Ruffled Collars room to find the obsidian mirror – the one that Henry had described as boring. A side entrance led them through previously unseen exhibits this time, and in the dim light Monty and Esmé started to feel nervous. They weren’t at all sure where they were going. To begin with, they came across a small room that was lined with tiny objects. When Monty looked closely, he could see, pinned up on the wall, several rows of miniature, brightly coloured skeletons made from yarn or paper, grinning wildly at him.

  “Where are we?” Monty asked Esmé, his voice quivering.

  Esmé pulled out the small torch that she still had in her cagoule pocket, causing the packet of strawberry chews to fall on to the floor.

  “It says, ‘We are celebrating Mexico’s Day of the Dead.’”

  Monty gulped loudly.

  “Have a chew,” said Esmé, picking up the packet. “It might calm your nerves.”

  Monty took a sweet for now, and put the rest in his trouser pocket for later.

  “Let’s hurry,” urged Esmé, walking swiftly through the room and straight into the next. It was dark here too, but bigger. Enormous carved heads had been placed on sticks and placed all round the room.

  Esmé used her torch to read the sign on the wall.

  “‘African face masks,’” she said, “‘traditionally used to symbolise spirits.’”

  “Oh no.” Monty was still flustered by the skeletons.

  “‘These are still common in certain parts of Africa,’” read Esmé, trying to stay calm. “‘They are used in rituals and ceremonies. Tribal chiefs wear them. They are very high status.’”

  Monty still looked uncomfortable.

  “That one looks like a warthog – what does it say?” he asked.

  “‘Its fangs are greatly feared.’”

  “I agree... they look frightening to me,” mumbled Monty.

  “This is half crocodile, half Spirit of Strength,” said Esmé, pointing to a particularly terrifying wooden mask that had pointy jaws and long twigs sprouting from its ears.

  Crashhhherrrreugh!

  The sound made both Esmé and Monty jump and they turned to see the two
Bonce security guards running into the room and knocking over a huge mask.

  “Bother,” said Trevor.

  “Drat,” said Heather. “Where are the twins? We’ve got to find ’em; Henry told us to.”

  “I can’t see anything in here,” said Trevor. “Maybe I can sniff ’em out. What do kids smell like?”

  “Sweets, mostly,” replied Heather.

  Esmé and Monty exchanged glances, grabbed a mask each and stood behind them, absolutely still.

  Together, Bonce Security™ started fumbling about the room, trying not to knock over more huge masks.

  “What are these things? Roman shields?” asked Heather.

  “I was never very good at history,” said Trevor. “Are you sure they’re not mummies?”

  Heather stopped for a moment.

  Esmé tried not to move a muscle.

  “I’m sure I can smell something over here, Trev,” said Heather, who was alarmingly close to the Pepper twins.

  Trevor walked slowly towards Monty, then gave one almighty sniff. “Strawberry, most definitely,” he said. “The smell of sweeties.”

  Esmé knew they were just about to be discovered. So, shielded by the giant mask, she lined the torch up behind the eye holes and turned it on full beam.

  “Roooooaaaarrr!” she shouted.

  Monty took one look at his sister, realised what was happening, and joined in, equally loudly.

  “Roooooaaaarrrrgghhhh!” he thundered, and took a swipe at Trevor and Heather Bonce with his free hand.

  “Aaargh!” screamed Heather.

  “Let’s scarper!” yelled Trevor, and the poor frightened Bonces dashed out of the room.

  The Pepper twins lowered their masks.

  “Not incredibly bright, are they?” laughed Esmé.

  “But it’s not going to take them long to catch up with us, sis,” warned Monty.

  “You’re right. We need to get to the mirror fast. It must be near here somewhere,” said Esmé, putting her mask on the floor. “Come on.”