‘Actually, I can do anything I want, because I’m clever!’ said Lumpydump, grabbing the bulging suitcase and the remote-control joystick. ‘Toodle-oo!’ he added, and then hopped across the laboratory and bounded through the tunnel chuckling wildly to himself.
‘Do you think he’s really gone?’ said Urk.
‘It certainly looks that way,’ said Will.
The pair waited until they heard the tunnel gates clanging in the distance, then Urk started kicking the bars with his hooves while Will hacked at the lock with a fork. Neither of these actions did any good so they stopped and looked around the laboratory.
On the table sat a large bunch of cast-iron keys, but after a tiring time spent swinging their cages and attempting to grab them through the gaps in the bars, they realized they were completely out of reach.
‘It looks like we’re stuck here,’ sighed Urk, as the cages creaked to a halt.
‘While Lumpydump is off preparing to take over the world,’ said Will, thinking about the Bumble’s awful plot. ‘All my friends are going to end up as zombie soldiers with dung on their heads, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.’
It was then that Urk saw something small and brown moving in the shadows beneath the table. Will saw it too, and they both watched closely as a tiny Dungflapper crept into the light and blinked up at them.
‘It’s much smaller than the other ones,’ said Urk. ‘More of a plop than a dung.’
‘And it doesn’t have an antenna, either,’ said Will.
‘Here, little Plop,’ said Urk, trying to coax the creature over to his cage.
‘What are you doing?’ gasped Will.
‘Maybe he can help us,’ said Urk, reaching through the bars and sprinkling imaginary breadcrumbs. ‘He could fly up on to the table and bring us those keys.’
‘He could also suck our brains out!’ said Will.
‘Plop wouldn’t do that, would you, boy?’ cooed Urk.
‘I don’t think Plop wants to do much of anything,’ said Will, as the creature stared blankly up at them. ‘Didn’t the Monsterbook say you have to give them food?’
‘But we didn’t bring any with us,’ said Urk. ‘Unless…’ He pulled the rucksack off his shoulders and rummaged around inside. Then he took out Mrs Dumpy’s hat and tore the battered fruit from the brim.
‘Oooh, lovely bruised plums!’ said Urk, dangling the fruit through the bars.
Plop suddenly became very excited and flapped his wings, taking to the air and fluttering through the bars of Urk’s cage. The young monster quickly plucked a plum from the bunch and fed a small piece to the Dungflapper.
‘Now what?’ asked Will.
Urk thought about it for a moment, then he picked up Plop and pointed him in the direction of the table. ‘Go get the keys!’ he said, in a voice that he hoped made the task sound exciting.
The Dungflapper looked at the table, then it looked at Urk and the plum in his other hand. The creature then flapped over to the table where it nested on the bunch of keys. Urk and Will watched with amazement as the small brown blob gripped the iron ring with his tiny feet, but when he flapped his wings and tried to take off, Plop couldn’t lift the weight.
‘They’re too heavy!’ sighed Will, and slumped back in his cage.
‘Good try, Plop,’ said Urk, calling the Dungflapper back and feeding it the plum.
The deflated prisoners watched the creature sucking and chomping on the fruit with equal measures of fascination and disgust, when they suddenly became aware of heavy footsteps stomping through the tunnel towards them. Plop obviously noticed it too, because the creature stopped eating and gave a tiny ‘Meep!’
‘Lumpydump’s coming back!’ gasped Will.
‘It can’t be a Bumble,’ whispered Urk. ‘They don’t have any feet to stomp with!’
‘Then maybe it’s a Dogblob!’ gasped Will.
‘Their paws don’t even touch the ground,’ whispered Urk.
As a large shadow approached the end of the tunnel, Plop grabbed his plum and hid behind the rucksack, while Urk and Will backed even further into their cages, holding their breath as the mysterious monster stomped into the light.
‘Miffni!’ they gasped together.
‘That’s my name,’ she sneered. ‘Don’t wear it out!’
8
Miffni Plop
‘Well, what do we have here?’ said Miffni, stomping across the laboratory and grinning spitefully as she approached the prisoners. ‘Looks like a couple of caged Coo Coo Birds to me!’
‘Just let us out!’ said Urk, waving a hand through the bars. ‘The keys are over there on the table.’
‘Now, why would I want to do that?’ Miffni frowned. ‘An annoying brother trapped in a cage is like a dream come true!’
‘Very funny,’ growled Urk. ‘How did you even find us?’
‘I was going to visit my friend Pong Pong over in Snotshire when I saw you two sneaking on to the train,’ said Miffni. ‘So I pretended to be asleep until you left the carriage, and jumped off afterwards. Then I simply hid in the station hut and followed you.’
‘But we were in disguise,’ Urk sighed half-heartedly.
‘It would take more than a silly hat and glasses to hide your ugly face!’ snapped Miffni. ‘So what are you doing creeping around the Horror Hills and breaking into a castle? Aren’t you supposed to be out scare training?’
‘My fleshblob is staying with his granny,’ Urk lied. ‘So I had a night off.’
‘I’m not stupid!’ growled Miffni, grabbing Urk’s cage and shaking it angrily. ‘You’ve been up to something for a while now, and I’m not releasing you until I find out what it is!’
Urk gripped the bars as the cage bounced up and down, but said nothing.
‘Maybe the Jub Jub will tell me what I want to know,’ said Miffni, swinging Urk’s cage away and turning to face Will. ‘You showed up around the same time my brother started acting strange. Perhaps you’ve got something to do with it.’
Will peered helplessly through the bars as Miffni grabbed his cage and shook it. The boy tried to hold on, but his forks clanged hard against the metal and he dropped them. Urk’s cage was still swinging like a pendulum and his eyes widened when his friend, without thinking, reached through the bars to catch the falling cutlery.
Miffni leapt back as Will’s hands appeared from under the sack. She was expecting to see a Jub Jub horror, but when fleshblobby fingers grasped at the air, her mouth fell open in an enormous gasp.
Will quickly snatched his hands back beneath the sack, but it was too late.
As Urk’s cage creaked to a halt, Miffni looked back and forth between the prisoners, slowly piecing everything together. Then she stepped forward, took hold of Will’s Jub Jub sack and dragged it through the bars.
The boy was suddenly grateful for the locked cage as he sat inside it wearing jeans and a T-shirt.
‘A FLESHBLOB!’ hissed Miffni, throwing the sack to the floor in disgust.
‘I-I can explain…’ gasped Urk.
‘Ooooh, you’re in so much trouble now!’ Miffni growled, clenching her fists and snorting through her nostrils. ‘When Mum and Dad find out that you befriended a fleshblob they’ll go mad! It’s the worst thing a monster could possibly do!’
‘You don’t have to tell!’ Urk pleaded.
‘Of course I have to tell!’ said Miffni, pacing up and down between the cages. ‘Oh, I knew you were up to something, but I never imagined it would be anything this juicy. There’ll be an uproar all over Monsterland!’
Urk and Will were both in shock as Miffni began thinking aloud – plotting to make the most of her discovery. She quickly decided the best course of action would be to cover the two cages and carry them back to Monster City. There she could gather a crowd for a big shocking spectacle, and maybe even sell tickets for the event.
‘I’ll be famous!’ Miffni gasped.
The prisoners watched helplessly as their new captor skipped through the labo
ratory looking for sheets to cover the cages. It was then that Urk noticed something brown and frightened quivering behind his rucksack.
In all the excitement he’d forgotten about Plop.
Urk held the creature in his hand and raised an eyebrow at Will, who frowned at first and then quickly caught on. With the exchange of a few hand signals they soon had a plan, and after a nod from his monster friend, the boy flopped back in his cage with a long dramatic gurgle.
‘He’s dead!’ yelled Urk. ‘My poor fleshblobby friend is dead!’
‘What are you squealing about?’ yelled Miffni, returning with two filthy sheets.
Urk’s sister saw Will collapsed in a heap and shrugged.
‘So?’ she said.
‘I don’t think anyone will pay to see a dead fleshblob,’ said Urk.
Miffni considered her ticket sales and decided to give Will’s cage a good hard shake to bring him back to life. But as soon as her back was turned, Urk reached through the bars and planted Plop firmly on her head with a satisfying splat.
To begin with nothing happened. Then Miffni let go of the cage, stood up straight and turned to face Urk. With the Dungflapper sat on her head, the monster’s mean glare was replaced with the wide friendly eyes of Plop.
‘Good boy, Plop!’ cheered Urk, dangling a squashed plum in one hand and pointing to the table with the other. ‘Now, go fetch the keys and bring them over to Daddy!’
Will sat up and watched with his friend as Miffni shuffled over to the table, picked up the bunch of keys, and shuffled back with them. Urk took the keys and fed the plum to the Dungflapper, then he opened his cage and jumped down to free Will.
‘We’d better get a move on,’ said Urk, heaving the rucksack on to his shoulders.
‘We can still make the return train, if we hurry,’ said Will, checking his watch before pulling on the Jub Jub sack and arranging his forks. ‘But what are we going to do about your sister?’
‘I suppose we’ll have to take her with us,’ said Urk, cramming Mrs Dumpy’s hat on Miffni’s head to disguise the Dungflapper. ‘But when we take Plop away, she’ll still remember everything that happened before the mind-suck.’
9
The Poopy Plot
Urk and Will beat a hasty retreat from Dung Castle with Miffni lolloping behind them like a giant puppy. Making their way back through the Den of Doom they found the Dogblobs were still in a circle making their deadly move, and Plop guided Miffni around their snapping jaws.
On the return Scream Shuttle, Urk spent the whole journey worrying about the Miffni problem and Will spent the whole journey worrying about the Lumpydump problem. After all the recent frights they didn’t scream once, and barely even noticed when they looped-the-loop into Monster City.
They took Miffni straight home to Terror Towers, where Urk checked that their parents were out before leading his sister to her revolting room. There he plonked her down on the bed and removed the hat, while Will hovered in the doorway ready to run.
‘I’ve had an idea,’ said Urk. ‘But I’m not even sure if Plop can do it.’
‘What kind of idea?’ asked Will.
The young monster rummaged inside the rucksack and pulled out the three remaining plums. The Dungflapper immediately became excited and bobbed up and down on Miffni’s head.
‘These are for you, Plop,’ said Urk. ‘But can you do me a favour first?’
The Dungflapper frowned and then gave a tiny ‘Meep!’
‘Can you suck a teeny bit more memory out of my sister’s head before you let her go?’ he asked, and then did a quick calculation on his fingers. ‘About four or five hours’ worth?’
Plop shrugged and then started making a strange sucking sound followed by more bobbing up and down. After a few minutes of the strange ploppy dance, the Dungflapper hopped off Miffni’s head and landed in Urk’s lap.
While Plop feasted on his reward, Will and Urk watched closely as Miffni blinked, frowned, and then yawned very loudly. It was then that she saw her brother and his friend staring at her and glared ferociously at the pair of them.
‘What are you two doing in my room, you little Nibble Nobs?’ she demanded.
‘Er, just making sure you’re OK,’ said Urk, hiding Plop behind his back and moving slowly towards the door.
‘Of course I’m OK! Why wouldn’t I be OK?’ Miffni demanded, scratching her head. ‘I must have nodded off, but I think I was going to Snotshire to visit my friend Pong Pong…’
‘Oh, that’s nice,’ said Urk, backing Will into the hall. ‘Have a lovely time then.’
‘OH, JUST BOG OFF, YOU LITTLE WEE WEE WORM!’ shrieked Miffni, and kicked the door shut behind them.
Urk and Will heaved a sigh of relief and took Miffni’s advice. After placing Plop in Urk’s room to finish his plums in peace, they made their way back up the Monsterland tunnels, through the wardrobe and back into Will’s room – where they collapsed into their beanbags.
‘That was all very frightening,’ said Urk.
‘I know,’ said Will.
‘And we still have Lumpydump to deal with,’ said Urk.
‘I know,’ said Will.
‘I don’t suppose you’ve had any brilliant ideas?’ Urk asked hopefully.
‘As a matter of fact I have,’ said Will. ‘And I’m calling it the Poopy Plot!’
The boy got up again and hurried over to the wardrobe where, instead of stepping into the Monsterland tunnels, he pulled out a huge camping rucksack and an umbrella. He then asked Urk to stand up while he measured the bag against him.
‘Perfect!’ said Will, grinning broadly.
‘Perfect for what?’ gasped Urk.
10
Something a Little Bit Special
The next day at school, Will hobbled into the rowdy classroom under the weight of his rucksack. The terror teacher had not yet arrived, so he heaved the bag off his shoulders and placed it carefully on the floor beside his desk. The boy quickly took his seat, ducked down and pulled the drawstring open.
‘You OK?’ he whispered.
‘Cramped, but fine,’ whispered Urk, peeking through the gap in the rucksack and wiggling the umbrella that was poking out of the top. The umbrella was an essential part of the Poopy Plot, so the young monster had held on to it for the whole bumpy journey.
‘Lumpydump isn’t here yet,’ whispered Will. ‘But there’s something about all this that’s still bothering me…’
The classroom suddenly fell silent and the boy peered over his desk to see Mrs Dumpy’s fat figure looming in the doorway. The teacher pulled an unpleasant face and stomped into the room swinging the suitcase from the laboratory.
Will quickly sat up straight with the rest of his classmates.
‘Good morning, idiot children!’ sneered Mrs Dumpy, dumping the case on the desk.
‘Good morning Mrs –’ the class began their chorused greeting, but then stopped abruptly when their teacher threw off her frizzy wig and two antlers pinged up on her head.
‘ARRRRGGGGH!’ they screamed.
‘Impressive, huh?’ said Mrs Dumpy, jutting the antlers with pride. ‘Well, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!’ boomed Lumpydump, using his real voice and ripping away the rubber mask to reveal his true monster face.
The whole classroom continued to scream as the creature stripped off the rest of his disguise. Lumpydump then heaved himself over to the door and slammed it shut with his tail.
‘SILENCE!’ roared the Bumble, bobbing back to the suitcase.
The class immediately fell silent again, though more through shock than obedience. Will glanced around at his classmates and they were staring straight ahead like startled rabbits.
‘I think we can agree that you all performed very poorly yesterday,’ chuckled Lumpydump, flicking the clasps on the case and lifting the lid. ‘So for today’s lesson, I’ve prepared something a little bit special!’
No one spoke as the suitcase lid creaked open, but a few kids wafted their hands in front of
their noses as the smell of dung filled the room. Lumpydump then grabbed his handbag, pulled out the remote control and began fiddling with the buttons.
Will looked down at Urk and gave a frantic nod.
With no one looking under the desk, the young monster pulled himself halfway out of the rucksack, crammed Mrs Dumpy’s hat on his head and gripped the umbrella with two hands. At the same time, Lumpydump cranked back the joystick and the Dungflappers swarmed from the suitcase like giant ploppy bees.
Chaos immediately filled the classroom as the kids fought the swooping dung with swishing rulers and jabbing pencils, so Will leapt from his seat, pulled the rucksack on to his shoulders and charged towards the teacher’s desk. Urk was now strapped firmly to his back, swinging the umbrella to protect his friend’s head from the zombifying splats.
Will ducked and dived through the wild brown whirlwind as the smelly Dungflappers soared through the air. The creatures soon began dropping in filthy formation, covering heads with dollops of dung that the Bumble could control.
‘Fly, my brown ploppies!’ roared Lumpydump, jerking the joystick around with glee as he splattered the last of the children. But the monster was so busy conducting the fleet, he didn’t see Will rushing towards him and was very surprised when the boy snatched the joystick and legged it.
‘We did it!’ gasped Will, dashing out of the classroom and running down the corridor with Urk bobbing above his head. The young monster was still swiping at two Dungflappers that had given chase.
‘Yeah,’ said Urk, batting the bombers away. ‘But what were you saying earlier about something bothering you?’
Monsterbook Page 3