by Sky Corgan
TAMING JACK KEMBLE
The first night I stayed at Eric's place, I slept with one eye open. Part of me didn't trust him, though I had no reason not to. He had offered to share his bed with me, a courteous thing to do, but there were other motives behind it, I was sure. Naturally, I had declined, and found myself on the couch. While Eric had been nice enough to offer to share his bed, he didn't seem interested in taking the couch himself. Wasn't that the gentleman thing to do? I guess it was different when I was moving in and not just staying the night.
My last night with Jack Kemble played through my head like a recurring nightmare. It made me feel better to pretend that drinking had been my downfall. Would I have offered myself to him had I not been drunk? Would he have accepted me? There was really no way of knowing, since that's not what happened. Either way, the embarrassment of the situation was enough to make me never want to see Jack again.
When I went home the day after Halloween, I slept off my hangover. And when I awoke on Sunday, the first thing that I did was pack my things. A promise was a promise. If I was going to quit my job, then I couldn't stay with Mandy any longer.
I didn't tell her I was leaving until I was already packed and ready to go. While I would have preferred to leave with the clothes on my back, there was the matter of furniture I had collected over the years: a bed, a chest of drawers, and two night stands. “I hope you don't mind if I leave them for the time being. As soon as I can save up some money for storage, I'll come back and get them. For now, you can use them for whoever comes in as my replacement roommate. Or, if you want to get them out right away, I'll call my parents and have them come pick them up,” I told her.
“Jen, what happened?” Mandy's hazel eyes were large with concern. She was taking this harder than I had expected.
“I don't want to talk about it. I can't go back to Sygex,” I insisted.
“Did he do something to you? Did he hurt you? Just because he's rich doesn't mean he's above the law,” she said, obviously expecting the worst.
“No. It's not what he did. It's what I did. I just . . . really don't want to get into it. Maybe after time has passed, I'll tell you about it. For now though, I'd rather just drop the subject.”
Mandy seemed displeased that I didn't want to talk about it but dropped the subject all the same. “Are you going to stay with Eric?”
“Mhm.” I nodded.
She saw me off with a sad expression, and I cried all the way to Eric's apartment. It wasn't where I wanted to be, but it was my only option if I didn't want to go live with my parents. Hopefully, living with Eric would light a fire under my ass and make me take my job search seriously. The faster I got a job, the faster I could go back and live with Mandy, if she hadn't moved someone else into my room by then. It was a depressing thought.
With my less than impressive resume, I hit the streets and the internet. Following Mandy's model of finding me employment, I put myself in for every job I thought I qualified for. The calls came pouring in and I put my best foot forward, lying my ass off in an attempt to get hired as quickly as possible.
After a few weeks, I was able to get a job as a cocktail waitress at a strip club, but the first time a guy smacked my ass was the last time I came to work. My next employment adventure was at a small diner. That job lasted for less than a week too. The boss was such a nasty cunt I couldn't stand to be around her. She seemed to think her measly salary entitled her to talk to her employees like they were crap. I was standing for none of that.
Jack had called me a couple of times since discovering I had no intentions of coming back to work. He left messages saying he wanted to talk, but I never returned his calls. What was there to talk about? I couldn't stand to be around him anymore.
At the time, ignoring Jack's calls seemed like the wisest thing to do. Now, however, I was becoming desperate. A month had come and gone already, and Eric was beginning to drop hints that there were other ways for me to pay rent.
No, I chastised myself. I won't go crawling back. He'd have me right where he wanted me. How did Jack want me exactly though? Judging by the last night we had spent together, he didn't want me at all. The thought still hurt—even more of a reason not to return his calls.
It seemed like I had traded one bad situation for another, but it was too late to turn back. Jack's phone calls had stopped weeks ago, and I was sure I was long forgotten, replaced by a more willing blonde with perfect tits and spread legs. He was probably happier now that I was gone. And I was miserable.
After a while, it seemed like I had applied at every available job in New York City. The listings were beginning to repeat themselves, and I had lost hope.
One afternoon, Mandy offered to take me out to dinner. It was a nice change from the endless nights sitting at home in front of the television watching sports with Eric, though I felt bad that I couldn't afford to pay my share. What money I did have needed to be used for gas to get back and forth to job interviews.
“So, you've had no thoughts towards going back to Syngex?” Mandy asked, avoiding my eyes since she knew I wouldn't like the subject.
“No,” I sighed. “My position has probably been filled already anyway.”
“Probably, but it never hurts to try. As I recall, Jack Kemble seemed rather fond of you.”
Not fond enough, or else he would have taken me when I offered myself to him. Rejection was a bitter beast. “I don't think he was.”
“That note about the ball was pretty romantic. I wouldn't think he'd do something like that if he had just wanted to get you into bed.” She dipped a fry into ketchup.
“Jack has lots of money. I'm sure he's done more extravagant things to get women into bed with him.”
“He showed up at the apartment a few weeks ago. I about died when I opened the door. Good lord the man is attractive. I still don't understand why you didn't jump on that. I would have raped him if it wouldn't have landed me in jail.”
“Mandy!” My eyes widened at her, though I wasn't sure if it was because of what she had just said or because Jack had stopped by the apartment. “Why didn't you tell me he came by?”
“Because I didn't think you'd care. At any rate, it wasn't that long ago, so your job might still be there. That's why I think you should give him a call.”
“No. I absolutely refuse to go back,” I insisted, though it was a curious thing he had come looking for me so long after I had quit. “Did you tell him where I was?”
“No. I just told him you'd moved out. He asked if you had found another job, and I told him I didn't know. He also asked if you had your phone shut off. I assumed that was because you weren't returning his calls.”
“It's weird he'd come by like that, almost stalkerish.”
“That's why I think there was something more there. Anyway, are you ever going to tell me what happened that made you want to quit. Eric told me you didn't stay out all night with him on Halloween.”
I felt bad. The night of Halloween when I had left the party, I told Eric I was going home. That hadn't been true though. At the last minute, I'd decided to make a detour to the Masked Ball. In all honesty, I hadn't expected Jack to still be there, but he had been, and everything went downhill. If I hadn't of shown up, things would be completely different now. It was sad how one drunken decision could ruin everything.
I tried to explain what happened as best I could, though recalling specifics made me cringe at myself. To say the least, I had been a bitch to Jack, showing nothing but displeasure from the moment I laid eyes on him. Most of my words throughout the night had been cynical or rude. Then when I offered myself to him . . .
“Maybe he just didn't want to take advantage of you while you were drunk,” Mandy suggested.
“He showed me his dungeon. I'm pretty sure he meant for us to have sex before I took off to his bedroom like a spoiled little brat.”
“It sounds like you might have just crossed his comfort zone. As you said, Jack Kemble isn't used to having women in his bed.
”
“And he obviously didn't want me in it either.” My heart sank. It was all the proof I needed to know I was nothing special to Jack.
Mandy shrugged. “Well, it's over now. Forget about the past. Look forward to the future.”
“What's there to look forward to?” I huffed. Every day was spent stressing over the next. It wasn't a pleasant way to live.
Sensing my discontent, Mandy changed the subject, “So, how are things going with Eric?”
I took a deep breath. This was yet another topic I didn't really want to discuss. “I guess they're as good as can be expected. I haven't woken up with him on top of me, but a month has come and gone and I haven't paid rent so it's only a matter of time before he expects something more from me.”
“I think you're worrying for nothing. Eric's not like that.”
“All men are like that. And you don't know him as well as I do, no offense.”
But Mandy was offended. I could see it in her eyes. “I suppose I don't. After all, I've never lived with him before.” There was a hint of jealousy in her tone, and I suddenly felt guilty. Here I was bitching and moaning about getting hit on by two men she found attractive. Mandy would have jumped at the chance to be with either one of them. She rarely got hit on at all, and when she did, it was never by someone she was actually interested in.
I decided to shift the conversation to avoid further unpleasantries. For the rest of the meal, we talked about Mandy''s job and graduation, which was quickly approaching. It scared her to think she'd soon be leaving the bowling alley to venture out for better employment opportunities, but I assured her it was long overdue. Mandy was absolutely brilliant. I still couldn't understand why she had stayed with the bowling alley for so long.
When the meal was over, I was forced to return home, if that's what it was. Every mile closer to Eric's apartment filled me with dread. He had been getting bold lately, blatantly eying me and touching me more than normal. I had decided to take the same approach with him as I had with Jack Kemble, exposing as little skin as possible when we were together. Those baggy pajamas I had bought for business trips still came in handy, though unlike with Jack, they did little to deter Eric.
One afternoon, he came home from work beaming a smile brighter than the sun. I had just spent another unenthusiastic day planted on the couch watching reality television. Almost as soon as Eric walked through the door, he was sweeping me off my feet and twirling me around the room.
“Good lord, man, put me down.” I clung to his shoulders in fear. “What the hell?”
“I got a promotion.” He jumped up and down, making my teeth chatter in my head.
“Congrats,” I said, not knowing what else to say. This wasn't Eric's first promotion at the tech company he worked for. In fact, it seemed like he was getting one every few months.
“We'll get to move into a house soon with the money I'll be making.”
While I was happy for him, it did little to lift my spirits. I was just along for the ride, much like I had been with Mandy before I had gotten the Syngex job. Whatever he decided to do, I had no choice but to follow.
“I'm glad you got promoted. Now can you put me down?”
“Oh, yeah.” Eric set me down. “We have to celebrate tonight. This is big, big, big. My pay increase is ridiculous. I still can't believe it happened.”
“Calm down, stud,” I joked. “You deserve the success.”
“You really think so?” There was a hopeful look in his eyes, as if he might be expecting a different sort of celebration. Maybe calling Eric a stud was the wrong choice of words. He didn't seem to pick up on the playfulness behind it.
“Y-yeah,” I replied hesitantly, though my smile stayed in place.
“Go get ready. We're going out.”
“Where are we going?” I asked as I watched Eric jog to the bedroom. His enthusiasm was contagious, and I couldn't help but grin.
“Let's go to Rudy's. Call up everyone you know. I'm buying rounds for everyone.” He disappeared into his bedroom, presumably to change out of his daily business attire and into something more casual.
“I only know Mandy,” I muttered before going to pick up my phone and punch in her number. By the grace of God, she miraculously didn't have to work that night, though she did have an early class the next morning. With a little begging, I was thankfully able to convince her to come.
Eric and I carpooled as normal. It didn't make sense to take two cars when we were going to the same place. We drove in his white Bentley, a lavish graduation present he had received from his parents after college. I couldn't image what it must be like to be born into wealth, or to have parents who loved you enough to buy a car for you for graduation, for that matter.
Mandy was already waiting for us at the bar along with some of Eric's friends. I gave her a gentle hug before we lined the bar and spilled over into a few booths. For most of the night, Eric chatted with his friends, ignoring me completely, but as people began dropping like flies due to whatever other engagements they had, we eventually consolidated down to a single booth with me, Mandy, Eric, and a friend of his. Said friend just happened to be a beautiful brunette, and I was thankful that he seemed more interested in her than me. The alcohol had definitely taken a hold of Eric. I could see his hand moving at his side, likely rubbing the girl's leg. While she seemed comfortable enough, every once in a while she'd jump and slap at him, telling him to behave.
Finally, the girl left. Eric walked her to her car, giving Mandy and I some time alone together.
“See, he's more interested in her than you. You have nothing to worry about,” she told me.
“Eric is interested in anything with boobs when he's had enough to drink,” I replied casually.
She scowled, probably thinking about how he didn't seem interested in her. “That girl was pretty.”
“Yeah. Hopefully, they'll get something going on together.” Not that it would stop Eric from hitting on me. The last time he had a girlfriend, he still flirted non-stop. Commitment wasn't one of his strong points.
“You should start looking for a boyfriend too. Have you thought about it?”
“It's hard to find a boyfriend when you don't go out. Besides, what do I really have to offer? I have no job. I don't have my own place.”
“Guys don't care about that.” Mandy grinned.
“Some do.”
“Jack Kemble didn't.”
“Isn't that a four-letter word?" Eric appeared around the corner and slid back into the booth.
“Jack Kemble is a nice man,” she said defensively.
“How would you know?”
“Because I met him. He came over looking for Jen a few weeks ago.”
“I bet you felt graced by his royal presence,” he huffed, taking a drink of the half-full beer that his friend had left behind. Her lipstick rubbed off onto Eric's lips, but I didn't bother to say anything about it. Mandy, on the other hand, was more courteous, gesturing that he should wipe his mouth, which he did. “Thanks.”
“It was like having a movie star in my apartment,” she confessed. “He's so handsome.”
“Pfft. Pampered bitches like that usually are. They get their hair and makeup done like women. Jen needs a real man.”
“He wasn't any different than you,” I said, my tone dipping a bit.
“Of course he is. I work for everything I have. He just sits atop his high tower and has it handed to him. Plus, I don't have women throwing themselves at my feet. Lucky bastard gets to bang a different girl every day of the week.”
“He wasn't banging anyone when I quit,” I told them.
“That's because he was holding out for you,” Mandy insisted.
“Not likely.”
“You should call him.”
“Are you nuts?!”
“No, I'm drunk,” she confessed with a titter. “Here, let me have your phone. I'll call him.” Mandy reached across the table, but I made no attempt to move, clutching my phone tightly in h
and.
“I don't have his number anymore,” I lied.
“Well you suck. Who would throw away Jack Kemble's phone number?”
“Someone who doesn't want anything to do with the rich piece of shit anymore.” Eric sounded jealous.
“He wasn't that bad,” I said.
“You sure made him sound bad.”
I had, hadn't I? Evil Jack Kemble, who helping me fix my flat tire, who gave me a job when no one else would, who bought me an entire new wardrobe because I was too poor to afford even a few outfits, who took me to business trips, allowing me to see and experience the world as I never had before, and who was sweet enough to try to romance me when nothing else seemed to work to get my attention. What had I done? This man had given me more chances and opportunities than anyone, and I had been a complete selfish brat and thrown it all away because the one thing he wanted from me I didn't want to give without having more attached to it. Where else would I get the opportunities I had been given with Syngex? No where. That's where.
“Fuck,” I whispered under my breath, my good mood taking a nosedive like a lemming off a cliff. The bottom of the bottle was calling me again, and I was falling, falling oh so hard.
“That's all over. You have me now. You don't need that jerk.” Eric nudged my leg under the table.
“Well guys, I need to get going. I stayed out way later than I had planned,” Mandy said, scooting out of the booth.
“Aw. Don't go,” I begged, not wanting to be left alone with Eric.
“Sorry. I have to.”
My eyes followed her out the door, wishing my body was as well.
“It's getting late. We should call it a night,” I told Eric, giving him a hopeful look.