by jeff brown
When he twisted, though, people could see they weren’t looking at a picture of Flat Stanley. They were looking at the real Flat Stanley!
“In person, you are even flotter than I expected,” someone said.
“May I have your autograph?” someone else asked.
Stanley smiled. He was used to being famous by now. After all, that was why he was in London in the first place! No one would ever suspect him of attending a palace ball with a secret plan. But he did have one regret about his mission. The thing he was famous for—being flat—had nothing to do with the job. Sometimes being flat was useful. On this trip to London, being flat was just . . . flat.
When the train stopped, the Lambchops went up another long escalator and made their way through the crowded streets to a huge department store called Harrods. As its glass doors swung open, the family stepped into a different world. The air smelled like perfume, and the floor was as shiny as ice.
Mr. Lambchop looked at a map. “This way to the children’s section,” he said.
The children’s section was full of fancy clothes. These were the kinds of clothes that movie stars wore, Stanley thought. Or maybe models. There was nothing that looked comfortable in sight. He wished he could wear his favorite sweatshirt, or a pair of jeans, to the ball.
“Oh, hello! Can I help you?” A saleswoman looked Stanley over, a little perplexed. “What size would this young gentleman take?” she asked Mrs. Lambchop.
“I think a ten,” said Stanley’s mother. “Extra thin.”
“Is this outfit for a special occasion?” the saleswoman asked Mrs. Lambchop.
“We are attending a ball at Buckingham Palace,” Mrs. Lambchop explained.
“How lovely!” said the saleswoman. “You must be very special to be going to a ball. And at Buckingham Palace, no less!”
It took a little while, but she found a suit in Stanley’s size. It was a pair of gray pants with a white shirt, a gray vest and jacket, and a black tie. She suggested a pair of black shoes to match.
Stanley struggled to button up the shirt. The sleeves of the jacket were too long. His father had to help him with the tie, and the shoes were so stiff that Stanley could hardly walk in them. When he looked in the mirror, though, he had to admit he looked like he belonged at a ball in a palace. He looked like a Very Important Person.
Meanwhile, Arthur gazed intently at a toy display. The saleswoman turned to Mrs. Lambchop. “Will he be needing a new suit as well?” she asked.
Arthur spoke up right away. “Oh, no . . . that’s okay . . . ,” he sputtered.
“No way. If I need to wear a suit, so do you!” Stanley dragged his brother from the toys to the suits. By the time they were done with shopping, the boys had matching outfits. When they stood side by side, Arthur said, “We look like twins!” Except that one twin was flat, and one was not, Stanley thought.
Mrs. Lambchop smiled. “Once you change back into your regular clothes, we’ll go for tea,” she told the boys. “Harrods is known for its elegant tearoom!”
Stanley and Arthur changed, and a few minutes later, the Lambchop family walked into a beautiful room with all their shopping bags. As soon as they sat down, a waiter asked that funny question again: “Would you like a spot of tea?”
It turned out in England that meant “Would you like a little tea?” Stanley did not want to drink any tea. But he did want to eat tea, because in England that was the name of a big afternoon snack! Mr. and Mrs. Lambchop poured steaming tea from a pot while Stanley and Arthur helped themselves to the tray of treats that came with it.
Arthur picked up a little sandwich and took a bite. “A cucumber sandwich?” he said. “I’ve never heard of that, but it’s not bad!”
Stanley sliced open a warm scone and spread jam all over it. “Mmmm, tasty,” he said. Some of the jam overflowed onto his fingers, and he licked it off.
Quickly, he looked at his mother, but she had not noticed. Just this once, he got away with being impolite.
Someone else had noticed, though. A lady was sitting next to the Lambchops, sitting up very straight in her chair. When she saw Stanley licking his fingers, she took the napkin off her lap and dabbed her lips carefully. She caught his eye and nodded. Was she sending a message? he wondered. Was she reminding him to use a napkin?
The lady was having tea with a girl about Stanley’s age. The girl picked up a fork and a knife. “No, Lucy, not like that,” the lady said, pinching her lips together. With her own fork and knife, she showed Lucy the right way to cut her food.
Lucy was supposed to be watching the demonstration. Instead, she was watching Stanley. Her eyes grew large and she covered her mouth in surprise. “Auntie, look,” she exclaimed, pointing right at him. “It’s Flat St—!”
She did not even get to finish her sentence because Auntie threw her napkin on the table. Her voice was not loud, but it sounded as pinched as her lips. “You must never, ever point at a person, Lucy,” she said. “That is not proper at all. You must remember your manners!” She sounded upset. “I think we are finished here.”
With that, they swept out of the tearoom.
Stanley frowned as he watched them leave. “That was a little mean, wasn’t it?” he asked his family.
Mrs. Lambchop sipped her tea. “It’s a tradition in England to use good manners,” she said. “Auntie was teaching Lucy the rules. They are good to know, whether you are just having tea or attending a ball at the palace.”
Stanley sighed. He felt a little sorry for Lucy. And also a little sorry for himself. Manners were not his specialty. But if manners were a tradition, he would have to use them while he was on his mission. Following that tradition might be the only way for him to fix the other tradition—crowning the new king with all the crown jewels.
Welcome to the Palace!
Back at their hotel, the Lambchops got dressed for the ball. Arthur and Stanley put on the suits that made them look like twins, and Mrs. Lambchop put on a sparkly dress. Mr. Lambchop wore a suit, too, but it had a strange jacket. It looked short in the front and long in the back. “It’s called a tailcoat,” he told the boys.
“Because the back looks like a tail?” Arthur joked.
Nobody joked when they met up with Detective Bates. He was wearing a plaid skirt with knee socks! “It’s a called a kilt,” he told the boys. “My family is from Scotland. Where we come from, this is what men wear for special occasions.” Stanley smiled politely, as if he saw detectives in kilts every day. Lucy’s auntie would be proud of his manners, he thought.
Detective Bates led them out of the hotel and started walking toward the palace. “I will be right there with you the whole time,” he explained. “You can count on me to protect you if anything happens. But I will also be acting like a regular guest at the ball.”
He put a hand in the pocket of his kilt and drew out a small black tube. “Now, Stonley, this is for you,” he said.
Stanley turned it over and flicked on a switch. A thin beam of light came out of one end, almost blinding him.
“It is disguised as a pen, but this tool has a special purpose,” Detective Bates explained. “This ultraviolet light can help you detect imitation gemstones in one glance. Under this light, a real jewel will look clear, but a fake one will have cloudy spots.”
“So I should use this if I find the Windsor Ring?” Stanley asked.
“Bright chop!” said Detective Bates. “Yes, you can run a test right there at the ball. The world’s best jewelers rely on lights like this one. Maybe Lady Laura has a ring that just happens to look like the Windsor Ring. Or maybe she has stolen the real one from under the queen’s nose. Today we will learn the truth!”
Just then, they arrived at a massive gate. Behind it was a stone building with several sets of pillars. “Welcome to Buckingham Palace!” announced Detective Bates. “Headquarters of the royal family, and home of the queen!”
Stanley gulped. It was an impressive building with hundreds of windows, but it was kind of
plain.
“Where are the towers?” Arthur asked. “Where is the moat?”
He said just what Stanley was thinking. This was not the way Stanley had expected a palace to look.
Stanley felt nervous as the gate opened to let them in. Now he knew how to use the ultraviolet light, but how was he supposed to find any jewels in the first place? Detective Bates had not told him much about that. He did not know how to be a spy. He did not even know what people did at a ball!
Detective Bates was ahead of him now, chatting with Mr. Lambchop. Stanley knew that good manners meant he couldn’t interrupt with tons of questions. He took a deep breath and pulled himself together. He would try to act natural and keep his eyes open for anything unusual. Any good spy would start with that.
Actually, the first unusual thing was right here in front of him!
There were two men in red coats, like uniforms, with tall black hats. Were the hats made out of fur? Stanley wondered. They looked soft and fuzzy. But the men were a little scary. They stared straight ahead. They did not smile. They did not even move! Stanley noticed they were carrying rifles.
“The Queen’s Guard,” Detective Bates told Stanley and Arthur. “Protectors of the palace and the queen. They guard the public entrance for visitors and also this private entrance for the guests at the ball.”
Stanley shrank away from them automatically. He hung back behind a lamppost for a second. But Arthur took a big step forward.
“Oh!” said Arthur. “I have heard of these guards. They are not supposed to react to anything they see.” He had a twinkle in his eye. “But I bet I can make them smile.”
Arthur made a funny face at them. They did not smile.
He clapped his hands so loud that his palms turned red. They did not even blink.
He did a tap dance. He did a cartwheel. Did they even notice? Stanley wasn’t sure. One of the guards had a mustache, and one of them did not. Other than that, they were exactly alike, and neither one had moved a muscle.
Stanley was less frightened once he saw that they were not dangerous. He stepped out from behind the lamppost, ready to walk past the guards and into the palace at last.
But when the guard with the mustache saw Stanley Lambchop, he moved! The guard’s jaw dropped and his eyes bulged out. Maybe he was not used to seeing flat boys at the palace gate, thought Stanley.
The next second, the guard was stern and still again. But Stanley knew what he had seen.
Sometimes when people asked Stanley for an autograph, he did a little trick to entertain them. If he stood up straight and shook his body, it would ripple, like a sheet on a clothesline or a ribbon in the wind.
Sometimes Stanley liked to act more mature than Arthur, since he was the older brother. Right now, though, he did exactly what his brother did. He tried to make the guards react! He stood in front of the guards and rippled. But the guards didn’t budge.
“I saw one of them move before,” Stanley told Arthur.
“You did not!” said Arthur. “I don’t believe it!”
“I did, too!”
“Boys!” said Mrs. Lambchop. “Enough silliness. Let’s get our best manners ready. We are entering the palace!”
Stanley took another deep breath. He couldn’t bicker with his brother. He was on a mission for Her Majesty, the queen!
Following Detective Bates, Stanley stepped through the gate, under a stone arch, and into a hallway inside Buckingham Palace. It was lined with silver mirrors and old paintings of long-ago kings. Stanley felt like he’d been walking for a mile when the hallway opened into a ballroom that had to be the size of a football field.
“Wow,” he whispered, looking at Arthur, who also looked surprised. He had never been in a place like this before. It was a little like a museum and a little like a fancy hotel. Everything was gold: the curtains, the chandeliers, even the ceiling. There was a fountain in the middle of the room and a row of tables with heavy platters of food. There were more flowers here than in the Lambchops’ whole garden at home, and candles cast a sparkling light on the entire room.
This was how a palace was supposed to look, Stanley thought. This place was fit for a king.
Flat as a Pancake
As they walked through the room, some musicians began to play, and a young man in a tailcoat approached the Lambchops and Detective Bates.
He greeted them warmly. “Welcome,” he said in a low voice that Stanley could barely hear over the music. “I’m glad you were able to join us tonight.”
Detective Bates turned to Stanley. “This is Prince Henry,” he said. “The future king of England!”
Stanley put two and two together. “Are you the queen’s son?” he asked.
He was not sure if this was good manners, but he needed to know. Was Prince Henry the one who needed all the crown jewels?
Prince Henry nodded. “I am!” he said. He smiled at Stanley. “I hope you will enjoy your evening at the palace.”
He winked to show he knew that Stanley was here for another reason, too.
“Will you come with me?” he asked. “I will introduce you to a very special guest.”
“Remember,” Detective Bates whispered, “I am here if you need help. I will never be very far away.” He stepped into the crowd with the rest of the Lambchops.
Stanley followed Prince Henry through a group of guests until he came to some women in long gowns, standing by the fountain. One of them had excellent posture. “Lady Laura,” said the prince, “there is someone here I’d like you to meet.”
Lady Laura! She was the one who had borrowed the Windsor Ring before it disappeared. She could be a thief! Do I have to shake her hand? Stanley wondered.
When she turned around, Stanley gasped and quickly realized he would have to.
Lady Laura was the woman from the tearoom at Harrods! Lucy’s auntie! Stanley knew that Lady Laura cared deeply about good manners, like handshaking.
“A pleasure to meet you,” she said. “Charmed, I’m sure.” Her smile was frozen and her fingers were cold. As he shook her hand, Stanley could feel that she was wearing rings, but he did not look at them. He did not want her to guess why he was here quite yet.
“It is very nice to meet you, too,” he said.
She asked, “Is this your first visit to London?”
Her voice was friendly enough, but she was not even looking at Stanley. She was looking over his head. Was she trying to find someone else to talk to? Stanley wondered.
Sure enough, Lady Laura caught someone’s eye and nodded. “If you’ll excuse me . . . ,” she said. She drifted away, and Stanley was on his own.
What did people do at a ball? Well, now Stanley would find out. Some people were dancing near the musicians, but more people were just standing around and talking. All around him, he could hear the clink of glasses and the hum of conversation.
The ballroom was full of actors and rock stars and gold medalists—not to mention members of the royal family—so Flat Stanley did not stand out. That was what Detective Bates had in mind, Stanley remembered. Since no one was watching Stanley, he could watch everybody else! It was the first step toward becoming a spy.
A server in an apron approached Stanley, holding out a tray. “Would you care for a canapé?”
Stanley looked at the tray just as his stomach rumbled. There were about a dozen tiny meatballs and a bowl of toothpicks. He said, “Yes, please,” and stabbed four of them with a toothpick.
Just when he had stuffed all four meatballs in his mouth and was savoring the delicious taste, Lady Laura happened to glance his way. He could read the disapproval in her eyes. But the meatballs were so good! And here came another server with another tray!
In a corner of the ballroom, Stanley could see Arthur with a group of children. One of them was Lucy, Lady Laura’s niece. It looked like there were things for kids to do over there. They had some arts and crafts and an overflowing trunk full of dress-up clothes. Stanley wondered if they were having fun.
&
nbsp; But he was here for one purpose, so he kept an eye on Lady Laura. She did not seem to be doing anything unusual. She took a sip from her glass. She laughed at something. She stood up very straight.
Stanley needed to get a good look at her hands. He was waiting for the perfect moment to move closer, when all of a sudden she was back at his side.
“Are you enjoying the ball?” she asked. It was a friendly question, but she did not look friendly. Her eyes were narrow and her lips were pinched together. What did I ever do to her? Stanley wondered.
Then he had a terrible thought.
What if she knew why he was here?
Had she been watching him, too?
Stanley stood up a little straighter. He could not let his imagination run away with him. Maybe Lady Laura was just uncomfortable around him. Then she asked, “May I ask about your condition? Er, your flatness?” She almost sounded embarrassed.
“Oh, sure. I have been flat for a long time now,” said Stanley. “But except for being flat, I’m a normal boy.” Right now, being flat did not seem like anything special. It was not even helping Stanley find the Windsor Ring. All he could do was stand here. Lady Laura had her hands behind her back!
“Hmm,” said Lady Laura. “Very interesting.” When the musicians finally started a new song, she moved toward the dance floor. Now she was waving her hands in the air!
Stanley decided not to let her out of his sight. He did not know how long the ball would last. He could not wait too long to look for the ring.
When the song was over, Lady Laura left the dance floor. She got something to drink. She put on some lipstick.
When she walked down the hallway where Stanley had come in, he followed her at a safe distance. She looked at the paintings. She glanced in a mirror. She was not acting suspicious, and Stanley was about to give up.
Then, all of a sudden, she did something strange.
She turned off the main hallway into a smaller hallway. It looked like it led to the kitchen. She glanced at her watch, as if she were waiting for someone, and it was then that Stanley saw something sparkle on her finger.