“Did you explain that to her, or send her a letter?” I ask wryly.
A sheepish smile pushes up the corners of his mouth. “Email.”
“Colin—you didn’t!”
“I did. It came to me while we were on holiday. I thought I was doing the right thing. I don’t want to replace her because she’s a terrible employee—she can keep her job. My aim was and always is to treat her with respect. Considering that she’s my mother-in-law, even more deference is required.”
“I love it when you get all formal.” I kiss his nose. “But you’ll have to make things right with her, okay?”
“Absolutely. Right after dinner.”
I shake my head. “Not if you want to live to eat supper.”
“Duly noted.” He kisses me hard and strides toward the kitchen. “My lady Tressie, how may I be of assistance?”
“You can start by taking out the trash.”
Giggling, I fall into the sofa.
Maybe tonight won’t be so bad. Maybe he’ll be reasonable and, heck, maybe he’ll forget what he said or he’ll realize what he said and back up a step or two.
I wouldn’t mind the reprieve.
No, you have to tell him.
I frown. “I hate doing the right thing,” I complain, trying to get my inner thoughts on board.
No, you don’t.
You’re right. I just wish it were easier.
Nothing worth having is.
Later that night while I’m hanging up my clothes and sorting my laundry, Colin joins me in my room.
“Tressie no longer hates me. The boys are in the guest room, practically asleep, and I’m ready to sleep with my wife.” He grins. “In a room no man has ever been in.”
“You really can’t let go of that, can you?”
“That your bedroom is virginal.” He fingers the lace edge of my comforter. “No.”
“Good grief.” I roll my eyes playfully and hang up the last shirt. “Men love being first.”
“First and last, honestly. We’re very primitive.”
“No argument from me.”
Colin tosses a pillow at me and I catch it, then throw it back. He tosses another and then a third. I throw each one right back at him.
“Damnit woman, I’m trying to unmake the bed.” He actually looks grumpy.
“Oh, I thought you were retaliating.”
“For agreeing with me?” He arches a brow. “Isn’t that every man’s wish for his wife?”
“You are so wrong.” I wag a finger at him. “Keep that up and you’ll sleep on the floor.”
He wraps his arms around me, pulling me to him. I can feel his cock against my ass. “So can we get started tonight? Perhaps we can make a little girl with red hair and platinum eyes?” He spins me around and sweeps me up in his arms, stalking to the bed and laying me down in the center like in an old-school romance novel. “I’ll fill you so full, love.” His fingers glide up my thigh to find me wet from his words. “You can take every bit, every drop, and then I’d give you more.”
I close my eyes as he enters me, trying to stay in the moment and turned on as anything instead of a weeping mess.
“What’s wrong? You’re crying. Shit. Are you not ready…” He immediately withdraws his fingers. “How can I make it better?”
“There’s nothing you can do,” I say, my voice a whisper. “There’s nothing anyone can do.”
“There has to be. I can’t— Tell me what’s wrong. At least give me the opportunity to fix this.”
More tears fill my eyes until I’m forced to open them. Colin is hovering above like a cross between the prince that he is and the angel he seems.
It’s now or never. I take a deep breath and let the words flow from me all at once. “I can’t have kids.”
“Can’t as in right now, or can’t as in ever?”
“Ever.” I look away from him. I have to. I don’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes. “I was born with barely functioning ovaries. Had just enough for puberty and—and I had to take a lot of pills to keep it going. I do want kids and I want them with you. I want Aiden and Pierce to have siblings, but I can’t be the one to carry them.” My voice cracks. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you dare apologize to me ever again.” He cups the side of my face, then kisses my tears. “We can adopt. We can do surrogates. Whatever you want. You tell me and I’ll make it happen.”
“You’re not disappointed?” I ask, giving voice to one of my biggest fears—the same fear that made me break off a relationship before.
His eyes roam my face. “I am sad because I can see and hear how much this hurts you.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“A little.” He gathers me to him and rolls to one side. “But I don’t love you for the children you can or cannot give us. I love you, Della.”
“And you already have your boys, so…” I smile through my tears at him while something I can’t name shines in his eyes. Oh God. Is he thinking of their mother now? “I wasn’t trying to bring anything up.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” His hand slides under the front of my robe, making my nerves dance. “Shall I make you feel better?” Lowering his head, he cups a breast. “Shall I take you now, nothing between us, and make you come again and again?”
“Yes.” I fuse my mouth to his, helping him out of his clothes while he touches, kisses, and strokes me everywhere.
Every sensitive spot.
I gasp into his mouth as his fingers slide in and out of me, teasing me and bring me closer and closer to the edge. He smiles, then lowers his head and wraps his mouth around a hard nipple. I grip his shoulders tight, my nails digging into his skin.
“My beautiful wife,” he murmurs against my skin, his thumb pressing hard against my clit. “Come for me.”
I shatter into a million pieces as I cry out his name. He covers my mouth with his, drinking in my cries while his fingers pump in and out of me. He stays with me through it all, helping me come down from the high.
Tenderly he covers my body and nudges my thighs apart, entering me one thick inch at a time until I’m practically shaking.
“I’m so full,” I whisper.
He laughs low in his throat. “Not yet, but you will be.”
Time seems to slow down as he moves, as he thrusts in and out of me, as he pumps his hips and gives me all that he has.
“You feel so bloody good,” he groans. “Can’t get enough.”
I pull him to me, loving the feel of his chest against mine, of his hips as they press against me again and again. Desire sparks inside me again, growing to a roaring flame that leaves me gasping and urging him on.
“More.”
“Not yet.”
“But I want more.” I suck on his ear. “Please.”
He thrusts deep.
“More.” I bite his neck.
He grunts, then grabs one hip and begins to pump hard. “Take it, love. Take it all.”
I spread my legs wider and lift my hips to meet his. He pelvis grinds against mine with each stroke.
Suddenly, my body arches hard, my toes curl, and a scream bursts from my throat as I come.
Colin growls, spurting into me as he comes. “Della,” he says, searching for my mouth.
“I’m here.”
We kiss, our bodies locked together in the most intimate of ways. But this time it’s different. He knows all my secrets, knows what I can’t give him and what I can.
He lifts his head, his dark green eyes glittering. “I love you. Forever.”
My heart pinches in my chest in the best way possible. “I love you. Forever.”
Chapter 19
Colin
Early morning light comes in through Della’s windows. I haven’t slept all night, despite the numerous times we shagged. Her confession made my heart crack in ways I hadn’t imagined possible.
I fucking hate that she suffered alone in this. Della is rather a private person and not one to c
omplain, so it’s safe to assume that only Tressie and perhaps Lola know.
Tracing the curve of her cheek, she smiles in her sleep. I stop, not wanting to wake her. Della is normally a morning person, but at five A.M., she’s rather beastly.
I grin.
The boys are morning people as well, but from what I read, most kids are and mine are not the exception. I had to retrain myself from being a perpetual night owl who used to attend parties, jetted off to exotic locations, and came and went as I pleased.
All because of two tiny humans who needed me more than I needed my old life.
Two tiny humans who became my boys. Boys that everyone, including Della, assume are mine. She assumes I loved their mother in the way that I love her.
I am such an unforgiveable prat.
It’s because of my need for secrecy and privacy that I let her assume this. I could have told her. Could have easily told her last night.
But the look on her face. The tears streaking down her cheeks. I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t be the man who hurt her even worse. The only thing that seemed to work was orgasms—multiple orgasms.
My mouth lifts at the corners, then falls just as quickly.
“And you already have your boys, so…”
Bloody. Fucking. Hell.
My lovemaking skills weren’t the only thing to make her feel better.
How could I be so stupid not to grasp that last night?
She was able to accept our future because of my past. My perceived past.
Full of self-loathing, I slip from her bed and simply stand at the edge, gazing at the woman I love. Her apricot-colored hair is like a splash of springtime against the white linens. She has one slender arm tucked under her pillow while the other shields her perfect, plump breasts from me.
Tempted to crawl back into bed with her, I harden my resolve and pull the covers up to her chin, then make use of her bathroom.
After brushing my teeth and a quick shower, I stealthily make my way down the stairs. The television is on in the living room. Aiden and Pierce are sitting on the floor in their pajamas, hair sticking up in every direction while staring at cartoons.
“What are you doing up so early?” I ask them quietly.
They tear their eyes away from television long enough to grin at me.
“Cartoons.”
“You can watch those anytime.” I sit down beside them.
“Not these,” Aiden replies.
Pierce chimes in. “They’re special.”
I watch a cat chase after a mouse, but the mouse ends up outwitting him. “That’s not real.”
They give me twin looks of Duh, Dad.
“It is entertaining,” I concede. “So…feel like talking any more this morning?”
Before I put them to bed, I’d talked with them privately about where they wanted to live, what to call Della, and how we were one big family now. Although I had assured them of this before, my extended holiday seems to be responsible for their new anxiousness.
“Nope.”
“Della—I mean, Momma’s home now.”
“Better than a dad being home?” I make a quasi-hurt face at them.
Aiden gives me a fantastic glare with a bit of side-eyeing thrown in. God help us all if he were actually in line for the throne. “She never leaves, except when you made her.”
“This is true.”
“Are you going to make her leave again?” Pierce asks.
“We went on a special vacation that adults take once they’re married.”
“Tressie said you sleep all the time. Booooring.”
“Adults need more sleep,” I say gravely.
“Then why do you make us go to bed so early?”
Walked right into that one. “Because you grow when you’re asleep…and don’t you want to be strapping, tall men?”
They nod.
“Good. I’m glad we are in agreement.” I stare at the television. “I have a meeting today. But it’s at home, in my study,” I quickly add.
“Can we stay here while you meet?”
“I don’t know. Della hasn’t informed me of her plans.”
Tressie walks into the room, wearing a hot pink dressing gown and curlers in her hair. “They can stay with me.”
“Thank you.” I don’t ask if she’s sure, because she told me in no uncertain terms that I am never to question her. I figure anyone with that much gumption and brass needs to be listened to—plus I want to stay on her good side for the nights I want to spend with Della without the boys.
“So far, so good, young man.” She pads across the carpet. “Keep it up.”
With orders like that, who am I to gainsay her?
—
After breakfast, I head back home, the boys running ahead of me on a stone path I had installed six months after Della and I agreed to trust each other. It leads directly to the pool, where we first met.
I should have married her there. However, Char said Della would appreciate the flower garden more.
Beaumont calls out to them and they run to him, giving him a quick hug before darting off for the playground.
He’s such a dad.
Della’s apt description of the man who has been with us since the day I was born hasn’t helped my suspicions. In fact, I think he might be the father of more than just the boys.
God help the royal line of Sinclairs if my suspicions are correct.
“Your Grace.” He bows and I incline my head slightly.
“Morning,” I say.
“Davies is flying in this evening. He will arrive at St. Claire tomorrow at noon. Shall I have Thomas prepare lunch?”
This is unexpected. I didn’t invite the man. Don’t want to see him again, unless I’m standing by Imogen’s throne and looking down on the odious creature. However, I am interested in why he’s here.
“Yes.”
“Shall we be traveling in the very near future?”
“Absolutely. I did promise Davies a Sinclair homecoming.” I pull out my phone and text Wallace to gather my siblings together in my office in the next fifteen minutes. “You will join us.” It’s not a question.
“I’m always by your side.”
“Not as my bodyguard, Beaumont. Not this time.”
His face is a wealth of secrets; his blue eyes clear of deception. “I understand.”
Eight minutes later, my brothers and sisters, as well as Beaumont, file into the room. I catch them up on what I learned during my honeymoon with Della.
As one, they all fix their gazes on Beaumont.
“We need to know. I don’t want to be caught unaware, and frankly I’m tired of living in the shadow of their scandals.”
He hesitates and I know his answer before he can reply. “Are you sure you want to know?” he asks, irritating the shit out of me. I am in no mood for this.
“Beaumont, answer the damn question or else,” I warn.
“You are their child. The rest are mine.”
My world tilts off its axis.
The twins gasp. Imogen’s face turns as pale as the bone china dinner plates that our mother liked to use for family dinners.
“Motherfucker,” Theo says, rushing at Beaumont.
I rush him, grabbing his arms and pulling him back just in time. His swing goes wild and his fist nearly connects with my mouth.
Theo strains against me. “He’s a liar.”
“Doesn’t matter, brother.”
“Unfortunately, I am anything but,” Beaumont says. “After Colin was born, the queen’s king consort visited the Congo and contracted a virus that left him sterile. The country needed an heir.”
“You played stud.” A warning pings in my head, but for the life of me I don’t know why. The information is there, just out of reach…Fuck. I wish Della were here. She’d help me remember or she’d help me sort this out.
Hell, she’d do both.
“I loved her. I would have done anything for her and I did.” He exhales, his shoulders slumping
as if he can no longer bear the weight of his now-free secret. His voice shakes as he continues, “I swore that I would never tell, but she’s gone and you deserve the truth. All of you do. You deserve better than what you got.”
“Let go of me,” Theo barks.
I release him. He stalks across the room, in the opposite direction of Beaumont, fixing his shirt and muttering under his breath. I watch as he pours himself a drink and slams it back, then pours another.
“Does Davies know?” I ask. My mind and heart are reeling, but I can’t let my emotions take control. I have to be in control.
“Honestly, I’m not sure.” Beaumont lifts his gaze to mine. “He knows the boys aren’t your father’s.”
I tug on my ear, trying to make heads or tails of anything, really. “What a fucked-up mess.”
“Shall I go now?” Beaumont asks. “I can have Peter take over for me.”
“There is no need for that.”
“There is every need for that,” Theo all but spits out. He shakes his glass in our direction. “There is every need for Beaumont to get the hell out of our lives.”
“He is not to blame for our parents’ mistake.” I can’t find it in me to be angry with him. Over the years, he’s more than proved himself to us, been there for us, offering up advice even when we did not want it, but desperately needed it.
“You mean your parents’ mistake.” Theo laughs harshly. “This is rich. All this time, you knew, played the dad—were there for us in every conceivable way, yet you didn’t have the balls to tell us the truth.”
“You’re right. I should have, but my only excuse is that I made a promise to your mother to keep quiet.” Beaumont clears his throat. “For what it’s worth, thank you for allowing me to share in your lives.”
“We didn’t have much choice,” Imogen points out.
“But he had a choice,” Charlotte says, then turns her attention to Beaumont. “You didn’t have to go into exile with us. You could have stayed and gotten married to someone else.” She fixes her gaze on Theo and Charlotte. “Instead he devoted his life to us.”
“With a healthy paycheck and bennies,” Theo growls.
“Still, he gave up everything for us—even you, Colin, to be like a dad.” Charlotte, ever the peacemaker, goes to Beaumont and kisses his cheek. “Thank you for watching over me…and getting rid of that one boyfriend who turned out to be not so very nice.”
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