by Diane Gaston
‘Indeed,’ she agreed. ‘Why, I can hardly remember when I last read a book. There is much I ought to read for myself. My mind is in sad need of improving.’
His spirits rose, but only a bit. It was something he could do for her. ‘We must go to a bookshop. You may select whatever you wish for yourself and Linette.’
She blushed. ‘Please do not countenance my hasty words. I do not expect you to—’
He raised a hand to silence her. ‘We will go there tomorrow. I think if we go early you should feel comfortable.’
She was always more concerned about being seen with him than he was with her. For his sake, he supposed, although no one would look upon him with disfavour for being in the company of a beautiful unescorted female. They would merely assume he had an arrangement with her.
‘I have brushed your evening clothes,’ Madeleine said.
He was expected at the Catsworths’ ball this evening, as were Miss Duprey, her brother and her ever-present mother. Amanda, Greythorne, and, thankfully, Ram also planned to attend. Devlin was especially concerned about Amanda Reynolds having to encounter Greythorne.
Devlin stripped down to his small clothes. ‘Thank you, Maddy.’ He fingered the cloth of his jacket. ‘Well done.’
It was painfully ironic that Madeleine acted as his valet when he dressed for these evening entertainments.
She turned to get his clean shirt and he grabbed her arm. ‘Sit with me a minute.’
Her eyes lingered on his bare chest, but she dutifully sat next to him on the bed. He should have planned for a neutral setting. The bed brought too many ideas to his head.
He leaned against the pillows and settled her in front of him, his arms around her, her soft hair tickling his chest.
‘We must talk of where you will live,’ he said.
She stiffened.
‘There is little time left,’ he continued.
‘I told you that it is of no consequence to me where you place us.’ Her voice seemed determinedly devoid of emotion.
It was detestable that she must be sent away where he would never be able to check on her, to make sure she was safe. He would never know how she fared. How his daughter fared.
He buried his face in her hair. ‘Forgive me, Madeleine.’ His body shook. ‘I have made a mull of all of it and I cannot make repairs. Forgive me. I never meant to hurt you, to bring you to this end…’
She turned around, coming on to her knees in front of him. She took his face in both her hands. ‘Oh, no, you mustn’t say so!’ She pressed his cheeks firmly. ‘You saved us, Devlin. Saved us. What would my life be like—Linette’s life—if you had not rescued us? Even Sophie. Would she have had any chance for the happiness she now possesses? You did this for us.’
She brushed his hair with her fingers and gazed tenderly at him. ‘I shall be grateful to you my whole life. I shall never forget you. Never stop loving you.’ Her hands flew to her mouth at these last words.
‘Maddy,’ Devlin managed, his arms going around her. To hear her say she loved him was unbearable, yet at the same time his heart soared with happiness. Madeleine loved him. She was not merely repaying him with her body. She loved him and, by God, he loved her in return. ‘Maddy.’
He could not help himself, needing to show her his love. He rained her with kisses, freed her from her clothes and what few were left of his own. He poured himself into her, desperate to make the moment last, knowing it would be fleeting.
By the time he walked into the Catsworths’ ball, almost too late to be fashionable, he moved in a haze of sexual satiation. His soul remained with Madeleine, but his body walked dreamlike through its paces. She loved him, and nothing else seemed the least important.
‘Stee-eellle,’ slurred a nasally voice. A tottering Robert Duprey grabbed his arm. ‘M’sister’s awaiting you. Bad form to neglect the chit. Ought to declare y’rself. Common knowledge, y’know.’
Devlin shrugged him off. ‘You are presuming, sir. And you are drunk.’
Devlin might next have sought out Miss Duprey, but her brother’s insinuations, correct as they might be, angered him. He went in search of Amanda instead. It was never difficult to find her, since she shone more brightly than the other marriage-mart hopefuls. He spied her across the room. Greythorne was speaking animatedly to her, looking very cross. Devlin took a step toward her, but Ram appeared at her side. Ram clamped his fingers into Greythorne’s arm and, a moment later, led Amanda into a waltz.
Devlin’s throat tightened. He was turning maudlin at seeing his friend assume the role of protector over the fair Miss Reynolds. He glanced around the room and spied Miss Duprey and her mother. She did not see him.
Stepping back, Devlin turned on his heel and fled the ballroom, seeking the chill air of the evening…and home.
Farley hid in the shadows outside the Catsworth town house. Steele would be there. It was the event of the evening, after all. The ball would last into the wee hours, but he could stand the wait. He had decided to shadow Steele this night. If the opportunity presented itself, he’d plunge a knife in Steele’s back. With Steele out of the way, Madeleine would have no choice but to return to him.
Carriages continued to arrive and a bustling of people crowded the pavement and the entrance. Farley hardly noticed the man walking in the other direction. It was not until the man disappeared around the corner that he realised the figure had resembled Steele.
Impossible. The ball had hardly started.
Farley would wait. Steele was bound to leave at his usual time and Farley then would be ready.
Chapter Twenty
‘Oh, my!’ Madeleine cried as she entered Lackington’s bookshop on Finsbury Square. She had not imagined so many books to exist in the world.
‘Devlin, this is impossible. I will not know how to look.’
He patted the hand holding his arm. ‘We shall ask for assistance.’
They walked up to a large circular desk with four clerks behind. Two were idle at this early hour.
‘May we assist, sir?’ one asked.
Devlin asked the grey-coated clerk to escort them to books suitable for young children. They made a few selections, Aesop’s Fables, one book both could recall from childhood, among them. Devlin then requested they be shown the equestrian section. He had in mind that what Linette would enjoy most of all would be a book with engravings of horses.
Unfortunately, such books also captivated Madeleine, and he, of course, could never be uninterested in such a subject. They pored over volumes containing a wealth of information on breeding, riding, equestrian care. They examined fine engravings of handsome horseflesh, arguing energetically over which volume would be most pleasing to Linette.
When their selections were made and they readied for their departure, Devlin glanced at the large store clock. It read half past one.
‘We have been here almost three hours,’ he told Madeleine as they stepped out the door.
She grabbed his arm and squeezed it in pleasure. ‘I was not aware. Time passed so swiftly.’
The streets were bustling and Devlin looked about, realising the fashionable shoppers were out in abundant numbers, people he’d hoped to avoid, but only because they would distress Madeleine.
Her hand trembled as it clutched his arm. They stepped onto the pavement. Two ladies, one young, one middle-aged, approached.
Emily Duprey and her mother, Lady Duprey.
It was impossible to avoid them. Damn his carelessness. The most efficacious solution would be to pretend he did not see them. They, in turn, would ignore the beautiful creature on his arm, relegating her to a part of a gentleman’s life that bore no speaking of.
Miss Duprey glanced up, a shocked look on her face. Devlin felt Madeleine hesitate.
Deuce. He had hoped to spare Madeleine this moment. Walking by would convey that Madeleine was his mistress. Miss Duprey was no naïve miss. At her age she was bound to be realistic about the dealings of men. She could weather the sight of him with
a prime article on his arm, as could her mother. But could he bear Madeleine’s humiliation?
He could not.
When they were abreast of the two women, he smiled and gave them a small bow. ‘Lady Duprey, Miss Duprey, good afternoon.’
The two ladies gaped. Lady Duprey appeared as if she would pop a blood vessel.
Devlin remained undaunted. ‘May I make known to you Miss Madeleine England? She has accompanied me to this excellent bookshop.’ He stepped aside to present Madeleine, who grasped his arm so tightly it hurt. ‘Miss England, Lady Duprey and her daughter, Miss Duprey.’
Madeleine gave a stiff curtsy. ‘How do you do,’ she said, her voice barely audible.
Lady Duprey hissed, muttering under her breath, ‘This is the outside of enough.’ She pulled at her daughter.
Miss Duprey paused and gave a shaky nod of her head. As her mother hurried her off, she turned and took one last brief glance at Madeleine, the shock still plain on her face.
After they disappeared through the doorway of the bookshop, Madeleine went limp beside him. He dropped the wrapped package of books as he caught her, easing her to sit on some nearby steps.
‘Maddy,’ he exclaimed, alarmed. Retrieving the books, he sat next to her. ‘I am so sorry. Shall I get a hack?’
‘Give me a moment, if you please.’ She hugged her knees and rocked, hiding her face from him.
Passers-by began to take notice.
‘I shall secure a hack.’ Devlin hurried to the street and waved a hand to an approaching hackney coach. He almost carried Madeleine to the vehicle and bundled her inside.
‘I am recovered now,’ she said in a weak voice, her hand covering her eyes.
‘Damn.’ He rubbed her arms bracingly. ‘There was no call for them to look at you such. They could not know…’
‘It is of no consequence.’ She continued to shield her eyes, and he feared she was crying.
‘I am sorry for that, Maddy. You have probably deduced who they are.’ He expelled a tense breath. ‘Believe me, I would not for the world wished you to encounter the lady I…I mean, the one I…’
‘Oh, no.’ Madeleine felt her moan emerge from the depths of her heart. It was worse than she imagined. Much, much worse.
Devlin continued, ‘Damn them. Their treatment was rag-mannered in the extreme. You appear perfectly respectable. You could have been my cousin or Ram’s sister, for God’s sake. They had no right to treat you so.’
She lowered her hand and gazed out the window of the hack. ‘They had every right, Devlin.’ She took a breath and faced him, looking directly into his eyes. ‘They are my mother and sister. They thought themselves rid of me after I shamed them so.’
He stared at her, speechless.
The calm of fatalism descended upon her. ‘Let us not go home just yet. Ask the driver to drop us in the park. I once promised to tell the whole of my story. You shall hear it now.’
He rapped for the coachman to stop.
They found a bench in the park. Devlin protested that she would be chilled, but Madeleine assured him the brisk air served her well. They sat in silence.
‘It is unusually chilly for June.’ He drummed his fingers on his knee.
She smiled at him, capturing his hand and squeezing it. Nearby, a bird flapped its wings, aiming for the sky. She fully expected any regard he had for her to also take flight.
‘I grew up in Wiltshire,’ she began, ‘though I suppose your acquaintance with Emily has told you that. I was the youngest. There was my brother, my oldest sister Jessame, Emily, and me. I believe my mother was tired of children by the time of my birth. She bothered little with me. Our father had no interest in any of us, I do not think. In any event, I was a difficult child. Wilful. I never heeded governesses, or tutors or anyone. I was sent down from the few schools I attended. All I ever wished to do was ride my horse.’
He placed his hand over hers. ‘You could be speaking of my childhood, you know. Except my father took an intense interest in every niggling aspect of my life.’
‘But your life has been worthwhile. Mine has…’ She cleared her throat, and took a deep breath. ‘I was fifteen when Farley came to visit. He had some business with my father, I know not what, but my older sisters were allowed to take meals with him, while I was confined to the nursery. I cared not for stuffy dinners, but my sisters teased me about it ceaselessly. When Lord Farley saw me out riding one morning, I was ripe to have some revenge upon them.’ She glanced at him, blinking rapidly. ‘But I have told you this part.’
His gaze searched her face. She’d once spoken lightly of Farley’s seduction. ‘I suspect there was more to it than the trifling occurrence you made it out to be.’
‘I suppose.’ She crossed her arms over her chest. ‘It was a fine jest on my sisters, you know. The man they spoke of incessantly was paying me attention. Imagine. Me. He spoke pretty words to me.’ She hugged herself tightly. ‘I had no idea the impression I made in my brother’s old clothes. The shirt had become tight around my chest, and I could barely lace up the pants. I thought nothing of it. I simply loved to ride like a boy. In those days I’d wished I was a boy, for boys could do all sorts of exciting things, like race and be soldiers and such. I hated to sit still for sewing or pianoforte or French lessons.’
He regarded her, tenderness filling him. He wished he might have ridden over the countryside with that young girl.
She continued. ‘Lord Farley told me later that my clothes would have aroused any man. I should have known that, but I never paid attention when the governess talked of such things.’ She bit her lip. ‘When Lord Farley kissed me, my only thought was that I had achieved something my sisters endlessly dreamed about. I could not wait to tell them.’
She stood up and paced. ‘Lord Farley suggested we retire to the hunting box nearby. His kisses were not unpleasant, and I was eager to try anything, so I did.’ She stared at him. ‘He showed me more than kisses. I do not know how it progressed as it did, but I made no effort to stop him. My body responded to him, Devlin.’ She stopped to see how her words affected him.
She sunk back next to him on the bench. ‘I vowed never again to allow myself such feelings.’ She stared straight ahead of her, as if the bushes and trees held her fascination. ‘And I never did, until that night with you.’
He put his arm around her, laying her head on his shoulder.
It took several seconds for her to continue. ‘He told me to come to his room that night. I did, of course. It was so exciting, you see. At the worst possible time…my father opened the door.’
Madeleine pulled away from him and buried her face in her hands. ‘I knew I was doing wrong. I knew it was sinful. I deserved for my parents to send me away. It was only fitting.’
‘The deuce it was,’ he muttered. ‘At your age, they ought to have had Farley drawn and quartered.’
‘Oh, no. I enticed him, you see. Both he and my father said so. It was not his fault. A man cannot be expected to control those…those urges.’ The expression on her face was resolute. She believed this nonsense.
Devlin grabbed her shoulders and made her look at him. Though his grip was firm, his voice was soft. ‘Maddy, a gentleman must control such urges. Did I not do so when you first came to stay? It was not easy, believe me.’
She blinked and knit her brows together. ‘But I seduced you, too. When…when I wanted to make love to you, you could not resist.’
He could not help but smile. ‘Goose, you did not seduce me. There was no need to resist when we both were willing.’
She shook her head. ‘You do not understand.’
‘I understand Farley took advantage of an innocent girl.’
She shrugged. ‘I suppose it makes no difference. When the deed was done, my fate was ordained.’
He stood and extended his hand to her. ‘Come, let us walk.’
She rose and took his arm.
He kept her close beside him. After a while he said, ‘I still cannot believe your
parents allowed you to be carried off by Farley. Surely they must have known who he was.’
‘Indeed, they did. My mother told me she always knew I was a shameful girl. She said I deserved to be with such a man. I was so foolish, I thought he would take me to Gretna Green. Only when we reached London did I realise what my mother meant.’
Devlin felt sick with rage. What kind of parent would send an innocent young daughter into the clutches of a man like Farley? It was unconscionable.
‘In any event,’ she went on, her voice curiously devoid of the hot emotions firing off in him, ‘it was not long after that Lord Farley showed me my obituary in The Times.’
‘Your obituary?’
‘My parents fabricated my death. Farley told me there was a grave marked by a stone with my name upon it.’
‘Damn them all.’
Devlin tried to convey some semblance of calm, but inside rage burned. Damn them all. They had taken a fresh, head-strong, spirited girl, robbed her of her life, and sent her into hell.
And he had left her there, all alone, when she had been only fifteen. He should have sent her to Serena or one of his sisters. Their kind hearts would have understood how to help her. Instead he had walked away, content to consign the pleasure of her company to fond memory.
Without speaking more of the matter, they walked through the park to their apartments. Madeleine busied herself with housework, while Devlin, still feeling the burden of abandoning Madeleine, turned the pages of the book for Linette, showing her the pictures of horses. His mind simmered. He did not make his afternoon call to Miss Duprey as had been expected. He did not attend Mrs Drummond-Burrell’s musical evening that was touted the event of the season. Instead, he took a long walk in the drizzle and chill.
When he returned, Madeleine was in her own bed. He came to her side and her eyes fluttered open. In the light of the candle he carried, her eyes looked red and puffy. He blew out the candle, picked her up, and carried her to his bed.
His room was plunged in darkness. Wordlessly, they made love. The darkness and silence heightened the sense of melancholy in their lovemaking. Devlin felt rather than saw her and heard nothing but her breathing and the sounds of their bodies coming together. It was as if she had half-disappeared already and he was desperately clinging to what was left of her. When both were sated, he held her against him, his fingers combing her hair off her face, wet with tears. He still could not speak, but simply tightly held on to her until sleep finally came to him.