THRAX

by Bonnie Burrows

  Afterward, we rested in embrace while heavy rain began pelting the roof of the spacious, one-story cabin. With Damien slowly running a hand over my hair, I dozed off almost immediately.

  When I awoke, a clock on the nightstand told me it was almost midnight. My first thought after that was about Nick. Nick, the man I was supposed to soon be speaking to again and possibly reconciling with. Nick, who was not the man lying beside me.

  I was certain I was still in love with him. What had happened with him rescuing Alexandria hadn't changed that. But now, I was certain I was in love with Damien as well. And maybe I had been for a while. The two of us making love had just brought my feelings to the surface.

  Head spinning, I got out of bed and began throwing on my clothes. I needed to get away from Damien. Needed to think. Not wanting to wake him, and once dressed, I crept out of the cabin as quietly as possible. And nearly ran right into Nick.

  CHAPTER 12

  The moment I stepped out of Damien's cabin, I spotted a large group of people heading down the lane. They were talking and laughing, and I instantly recognized Nick's deep voice. The group wasn't all that far away, maybe only thirty feet or so. Damien's porch light wasn't on, so I knew I was fairly well-hidden, but still, I didn't want to be just standing there when the group passed the cabin. And so, thinking fast, I silently dropped to a crouch, crawled over to a large wicker chair with padded cushion, and got behind it.

  It was only then that I realized I probably could have used my new "magic trick" of becoming invisible to people just by rubbing the star-shaped birthmark on my left hand, though the headache afterward wouldn't have been pleasant. I also realized I could have just as easily stepped back inside the darkened cabin. And actually, that surely would have been easier. Feeling more than a little stupid, I rolled my eyes at myself.

  Soon the group passed the cabin and continued on down the lane toward the center of town. None of them seemed to have seen me. While the sound of their talking and laughing faded, I breathed a sigh, relieved. I was sure that Nick catching me exiting Damien's cabin would have been a situation not without a mountain of awkwardness. Particularly since his friends were present. Not to mention, I didn't want to hurt him by ever having him find out that I'd slept with Damien.

  At least, I didn't want to have to hurt him until it was completely inevitable, like if I decided to be with Damien in the long run. Which I had no idea about. No clue if that would actually ever happen. I felt like I didn't know anything anymore.

  I waited until I couldn't hear Nick's voice at all anymore before standing and stepping out from behind the wicker porch chair. Katie had told me earlier that day that Sam, Uncle Marshall, and a few other men had planned to take Nick out to one of the two bars in town for drinks that evening to cheer him up, since he'd been obviously more than a little down in the dumps since I'd asked for a break. And obviously, their plan had worked. Which caused a surprising little twinge in my heart. I wanted Nick to be happy and not sad, of course. But the little twinge was due to the fact that maybe I wanted him to be happy with me.

  More confused than ever, I shuffled down the porch steps and started down the lane for home. But I didn't get very far when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned, not wanting to see Nick, yet wanting to see him badly at the same time. But it wasn't him. It was Damien, and he was jogging toward me.

  "You know, Daisy...earlier, I wasn't just saying it as a ruse when I said I didn't want you walking home alone. I said it because I want you to be safe. And needless to say, that hasn't changed."

  I let him walk me home, and I let him hold my hand. It felt good and natural, confusing my already-fried brain even further. We didn't talk much, but the silence wasn't awkward; it was actually comfortable. At one point, he picked up my hand and kissed it, making me smile. After he'd walked me up my porch steps, he pulled me close and gave me a brief kiss before pulling away.

  "I realize you may still need to do some thinking, and that's fine. But please don't take too long. I need you in my life, and I...." Pulling me even tighter against him, he sighed. "I really can't live without you. I love you. I love you, and I want to tell the world. So, please...please don't take too long thinking."

  I sighed myself. "I'll try, but...in the meantime, can we keep what's happened between us to ourselves? I just don't need any more...complications right now. Because this situation has plenty already."

  He agreed and kissed me again before leaving once I was safely inside the cabin with the door locked.

  The following day, Katie came by for lunch before the two of us were supposed to head over to do some work on the museum. I hadn't even finished making our sandwiches before she sidled over the counter and told me to spill.

  "Because the look on your face tells me there is something to spill. And something just tells me it has to do with you breaking your little promise not to kiss Damien last night."

  I arranged tomato slices over turkey breast cuts on our sandwiches, cringing. “Well...yeah. There's a little more to tell."

  Katie's big green eyes widened.

  "You mean...."

  I cringed again. "Yeah. I mean a little more than kissing went on."

  "Like?"

  Sighing, I put the top slices of bread on our sandwiches. "Let's sit down."

  Over lunch, I told her everything that had happened the night before, or at least the gist of everything. Never having been one to kiss and tell, I left out intimate details.

  After taking a bite of an oatmeal-raisin cookie, Katie set it on her plate. "So what are you going to do now? Who are you going to be with?"

  I dropped my head to my hands. "I don't know. Nick and I have something really special. I do truly love him, and once I'm able to let go of the whole Alexandria issue, if I'm able to let go of the whole Alexandria issue, I can see us having a very happy life together. And despite what happened last night may make it seem, I also have this certain sense of loyalty to him...not to mention that he was the first man I really ever gave my heart to completely, which really means something to me.

  “But then Damien...Damien is just something else, and I don't even know how to put it other than that. I realized last night that I love him, too, and that maybe I have for a while. And when we were together last night...."

  A rush of heat rose to my face, and I tried to ignore it.

  "When we were together last night, it was just...."

  My face got even a little warmer still, and I took a quick sip of ice water.

  "I think last night might have been the most satisfying...night of intimacy I've ever had in my life. And that's not to say that Nick hasn't made me incredibly happy in that department as well, but Damien just...he just really knocked my socks off."

  Face flaming, I took another quick sip of ice water. "But, anyway...during all that, I realized that I love him, and I know he loves me, too. Along with the whole dinner, he even made us apple crisp for dessert. He said that he'd never even cooked for a woman before, because he'd never met a woman he'd wanted to impress before me. And it's just little things like that, and like how he's always so concerned about my safety, that make me think that he genuinely loves me with the kind of love that could be forever.

  “And maybe I want that, too, with him. But then, there's Nick."

  Dropping my head to my hands again, I heaved a sigh. "And so, I really have no clue what I'm going to do."

  "Which could possibly make things a little tense tomorrow evening."

  "What?"

  "At the Monday evening council meeting. When you, Nick, and Damien will all be present."

  I swore under my breath. I'd completely forgotten about the council meeting. Not that I was really required to be there, but I almost felt the need to be. I wanted to be kept abreast of the whole Ezra situation, and also, I wanted to be present at the meetings in order to keep Nick and Damien from nearly killing each other, as they'd seemed to want to do at all recent meetings.

  Additionally, Alexandria had
been coming to the meetings, and something just wouldn't feel right to me if she were present at one and I wasn't. I thought it was silly that she was even allowed at council meetings in the first place, considering that council members and their wives were supposedly the only people invited to attend.

  And I supposed that that meant that I didn't exactly have a right to be there, either; however, I'd started going when I'd become Nick's serious girlfriend, and since he was chief and leader of the town and he had the final say about anything and everything, no one seemed to question this.

  I picked up a cookie from a plate near a sunlit arrangement of mini pumpkins on the table. "I think I definitely need one of these right now while I contemplate the potential awkwardness of this meeting tomorrow night. Although things shouldn't get too bad, as long as Nick and Damien both keep their distance from me. And each other."

  I tossed and turned that night, despite having spent an exhausting eight hours or so setting up different exhibits in the museum building.

  Though once I did finally fall asleep, around dawn, I slept hard and only awoke around eleven, when I began having a bad dream about Nick and Damien battling each other while in shifter form, their razor-sharp dragon claws dripping blood.

  Once I'd showered, dressed, and had a quick lunch, I spent the rest of the day working in Katie's clothing boutique, to thank her for helping me at the museum the day before. Customers streamed in and out of the boutique all day, and there were several front-window displays to set up, and I was more than grateful that I was kept too busy to think.

  After I'd enjoyed dinner with Katie and Sam, the three of us arrived at the council lodge a few minutes before the meeting was scheduled to begin.

  And just my luck, this time, unlike when I'd left Damien's cabin, I literally ran smack into Nick. Turning a corner that led from the foyer of the building to the meeting room, I actually ran right into his hard, broad chest.

  Heart pounding, I looked up and into his deep green eyes while Katie and Sam went on ahead. "Sorry. And hi."

  Taking my hands, Nick gave me the hint of a grin. "No apology needed at all. I just want to know if you're okay. From running into me just now, and...just in general."

  I resisted a strange sudden urge to hurl myself into his arms. Instead, I just nodded. "I'm fine. And you?"

  "Just fine. Though if I'm being completely honest, a little heartsick."

  All faint traces of his tiny grin left his face, and his expression became undeniably serious.

  "I miss you, Daisy. Terribly. I've been missing you every single minute of every day. But despite this, I've been determined to give you plenty of space to think. I've been determined not to smother you. Though now, it's getting to the point that...." He heaved a sigh and didn't finish the thought. "I don't want to rush you in any way, and I don't mean to come off as impatient. But, please. I have to know. Can we officially get back together soon? Can we be a couple again, and start planning our future together again? Do you feel like you're almost ready?"

  I turned my gaze down and to the side, wracked with guilt and uncertainty. And it was a long moment before I could look at Nick's face again.

  "I don't know. I almost think...I have a terrible feeling that it might be too late for us."

  Nick frowned so hard his dark blond brows nearly collided. "No. No, don't say that. We've hit a bump in the road, yes. But it's not too late for us, not at all. You haven't even given me a chance to properly apologize about the whole thing with Alexandria yet. And I am sorry for how that hurt you; I am so, so very terribly sorry. I'll regret that I wasn't there for you when you needed me every single day for the rest of my life. And now, I'm just begging you to forgive me. I'm just begging you to tell me what I can do to make things right."

  My heart felt like it was breaking in two, and the urge to throw myself into his arms was becoming so strong I wasn't sure how much longer I could resist it. But just then, Alexandria and one of the council member's wives breezed past on their way into the meeting room. After seeming to immediately notice Nick's and my clasped hands, Alexandria shot me the briefest of glares. And despite the little look only lasting maybe a quarter of a second, the glare was unmistakable.

  Once the meeting room door had closed behind her and her companion, I turned my focus back to Nick with my blood not exactly boiling, but definitely a little hot.

  "What can you do to make things right between us? Well, for starters, you could ban her from council meetings, as I can't fathom why she has any right to be here. Second, after that, you could send her back to wherever she came from. And in fact, now that I've brought this up, and now that I'm really thinking about it, I'm kind of stunned that you haven't done these things already.

  “I would've thought these things would have been the very first things you'd do after what happened. And in fact, maybe I've put off talking to you because I've been sort of waiting for these things to happen. But since they haven't, and since that's caused us to not speak...."

  I paused, a brief image of Damien and his dark gray eyes flashing in my mind. "Now maybe it's just too late for us."

  Cringing, Nick squeezed my hands. "No, Daisy, it's not. Please, please don't say that. Just let me explain. Please."

  I pulled my hands from his and folded my arms across my chest. "I'm listening."

  Cringing again, seemingly because I'd pulled my hands away, he took a deep breath. "It's like this. The very day that the fight with Ezra took place-"

  "The fight that Damien had to fight himself, one against three, when he rescued me from Ezra when you were busy with Alexandria, yes."

  Nick cringed for a third time, and tears suddenly began prickling my eyelids. I knew that had been a low thing of me to say. A low thing of me to remind him of.

  I sniffed, blinking back my tears. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that I just said that. That was really low of me to bring that up. That was just an angry, wild lash-out, and I won't do it again. Please continue."

  With his expression seeming to reflect the pain that I felt, he did. "The very day that happened, I asked Alexandria to go back to Coldwater. But she begged me to stay here in Crystal Falls, saying that she's had some recent, very painful family losses that made her not want to go back. And so, probably like an idiot, I told her she could stay for a few weeks, just until we can secure her a more permanent home in one of the neighboring towns, maybe even your hometown.

  “And then, as you know, she started attending every single council meeting. And considering the help she gave to our community by using her magic to increase my strength before the event with Ezra, I've been hesitant to tell her that she's not allowed.

  “But no more. Now that I know this might make this difference in you giving me a second chance or not, this ends tonight. Since many of the council members are already in the meeting room, and since this meeting will be very brief, I won't make a scene by giving her the boot beforehand. But after, and I mean immediately after, I'll ask her to stay behind, and I'll tell her the news.

  “I'll tell her that she has to leave Crystal Falls tonight. I'll tell her that the guards will escort her back to Coldwater, or she can pick another town, but she can't stay here. And then, she will be gone. I promise you this, Daisy."

  Thinking, I didn't respond right away. "You know the real reason she's stuck around, don't you? It's because she's still in love with you, and she wants another chance with you. I can see it in those icy blue eyes of hers...the way she looks at you, and the way she glares at me. And because of this, because she's still in love with you, I don't think she's going to take you kicking her out very well. And just being that she's a sorceress...well, I just want you to be careful."

  "I understand, but I don't want you to worry about a thing. She may or may not still be in love with me, but I'm definitely not with her, and I haven't led her on in any way while she's been here or given her any false hope at all. Outside of the spell-practices before the event with Ezra, I've honestly barely even spent any t
ime with her, and never alone. So, it shouldn't come as that big of a shock to her when I ask her to leave. And I highly doubt she'll do anything crazy or rash. And besides, yes, she's a sorceress, but her spells are no match for shifter strength. Her getting into trouble holding off a few of them in the forest before the event with Ezra is what started this whole mess, remember?"

  Actually, Nick letting her ride into the forest on his back just because she'd wanted to watch the fight was what had started the whole mess, if he wanted to get technical about it. Which I was pretty sure he didn't. And I knew it wouldn't be helping things if I did so, either.

  And besides, getting technical about anything wasn't even remotely my focus right then. I was too consumed with feelings of guilt about the fact that he not only hadn't given into the temptation of a fling with Alexandria, he hadn't even been spending any time alone with her.

  And based on reports from Katie, I knew this was true. And meanwhile, I'd more or less hopped right into the sack with Damien. I felt guilty that I'd even agreed to have dinner with him that fateful night in the first place. I really wasn't even quite sure what good I'd thought could come from it. I'd just been a bit hypnotized by him. I'd just plain given into curiosity and temptation.