by Candace Sams
"I think you probably planned it that way.” Kathy glanced down at his plastered leg. “So long as you're alive."
He tried to shake off the drug, but it was no use. The room just kept getting darker. He could hear Kathy's sweet voice and clung to the sound. He wanted to tell her how the loving charm, woven with her hair and the baby's, had brought him a great deal of luck. He remembered clutching the small pouch as he jumped from the window. One of those rendering first-aid to him said they'd had to pry it from his hand. It now lay safely in the table drawer beside his bed. He held fast to all these thoughts, and the sound of Kathy's soft, musical voice, as he fell into a dark, empty place.
For a few moments, Kathy watched as Tearach slept and perused his injuries. They were bad, but nothing that wouldn't heal. Kathy looked up to find Cairna smiling back at her from across the room.
"It'll be all right now, Kathy.” She stroked Rome's shoulder as he slept. “Everything will be all right."
Kathy nodded, closed her eyes and silently thanked God for the second chance they'd been given. As soon as Tearach woke, she promised to tell him all the words that should have been said. She'd never again assume there would be enough time to do so. Her heart was finally beating at a normal pace, and the world was in order again. But she knew from firsthand experience that things could have gone so differently.
The door to the room opened and a man beckoned to Kathy. She glanced at Cairna, who gave a reassuring nod that she would stay with both men. Kathy went into the hall where the agitated stranger was twisting his hands together and pacing.
"What is it?” She placed a calming hand on the man's shoulder to stop his anxious movements.
"Owen needs you in the surgery. They have to ... please come quickly,” he begged.
Kathy nodded and followed him through a series of corridors. They finally stopped outside the surgery doors. The man held up his hand, gesturing that she should stay put. Then he went into the room while she waited. Tearach was alive but others needed her. Kathy wouldn't fail them.
In a few moments, Owen stuck his head out the door and held it open for her. Kathy walked through and saw Gawain lying on a surgical table. A brunette woman was scrubbing up on the other side of the room. The man who had summoned her was gathering autoclaved equipment and surgical instruments. He put these on a tray.
"Can you scrub up and assist, Kathy?” Owen asked as he walked across the room and began to disinfect his hands and arms.
"Yes. I know the equipment and can follow any directions you want."
"Good. There are some surgical gowns in the next room. The man who summoned you is Bennet. He'll have the antiseptic you'll need laid out. This is Maureen.” He nodded toward the woman who was still washing up. “She'll be doing some invasive work, trying to stop Gawain's internal bleeding, and I'll have to work on his arm. If you can hand us equipment, it'll save time."
She nodded as years of professional training took over. “Right."
Without waiting to be told anything else, she went into the next room, found her gown and proceeded back to the scrub station Maureen and Owen had used. When she turned, Maureen was ready to help her put sterile gloves on. Kathy nodded in thanks and raised her mask. Under the circumstances, they were all doing the best they could, but the castle wasn't a hospital. She didn't know what kind of surgery would take place, but there didn't seem to be an anesthesiologist anywhere.
"Ready?” Owen looked at the two women. When they nodded, he approached the unconscious man.
When Owen pulled the sheet away from Gawain's body, Kathy stared at him in shock. There was a terrible wound in his lower left abdomen where something was impaled. His right hand, what was left of it, was hanging on by fragments of fascia and tendon. “You're going to have to take the hand, aren't you?"
Owen looked up. “You see how it is, Kathy. There's nothing left to save. If Tearach hadn't used his belt as a tourniquet, Gawain might have bled to death.” He took a deep breath. “We'll need the tray. Ready, Maureen?"
Maureen nodded and Kathy glanced quickly from one to the other. “Where is the anesthesiologist?"
"There isn't one. I've given Gawain morphine, so we're going to have to work fast."
Kathy swallowed hard and checked Gawain's motor responses and circulation on his good hand and his feet. Then she took his pulse and reached for a blood pressure cuff and a stethoscope.
"You were right, Owen. She does know what she's doing.” Maureen stared at Kathy and nodded in approval.
"Right.” He nodded. “Let's get started. I'm told the other physicians have just arrived. But we've got some serious smoke inhalation victims. They'll have to be monitored. If there's time, we'll have some help here. But, as I said, we're going to have to work fast."
Kathy watched as the surgery began. She checked Gawain's level of consciousness to make sure he wouldn't come out of his drug induced state. Then there was an intravenous line to run, blood pressure, circulation and respiration to be checked. She did all this every five minutes. The doctors were the best she'd ever seen. A London emergency theater, fully staffed and equipped, couldn't have done a better job. Maureen finished first. The bleeding was stopped, and she sutured the wound closed and checked the intravenous line.
"Good job on this, Kathy. First rate.” She picked up a vial, drew some fluid into a syringe and handed it to her. “Can you bolus this? It'll help fight off infection."
Kathy nodded, plunged the needle into the I.V. spigot, checked the intravenous bag and needle again, then watched as Owen finished. He discarded torn tissue and the remains of Gawain's hand in a trash receptacle and Kathy's eyes filled with tears over the tragedy. She prayed the loss wouldn't permanently affect the smiling, affable man she'd met.
Kathy turned to Owen. “What kind of explosion did this?"
"I was told the main kiln blew up and took almost half the building. The eastern end of it anyway. Gawain was supposed to have been working late with about fifteen others. Nine were killed instantly. Six got out, thanks to his, Tearach's and Rome's efforts. I suppose that's why this brute wouldn't leave.” He waved a hand at Gawain's body.
"Do you think he knew his hand would have to be taken?"
He shook his head. “Not the way I was told he moved about, even with his injuries. I'm sure he was operating on pure adrenaline. I don't believe he knew he was so badly hurt. Sadly, he'll certainly find out when he awakens."
Maureen walked to the door. “May I leave to check on some of the others, Owen?"
"Certainly. I'll stay with Gawain for a while and make sure he's stabilized. Will you help me, Kathy?"
"Go ahead, Maureen, I'll be here,” Kathy acknowledged and watched the other woman leave. “She's quite a surgeon."
"The very best,” Owen quickly responded.
Kathy watched his gaze. He stared at the doors through which Maureen had walked. She'd bet her very last farthing that the man was in love with the woman.
"Gawain once told me he has a family.” Kathy held Gawain's hand and pushed the brown hair off his burned and bruised face.
Owen picked up a tube of antiseptic and proceeded to apply it to his less severe burns. “A very large one as it happens. He has a sister and five brothers, and his parents should be here shortly, if they're not here already. I believe they were abroad. Shayla's staff had to notify them."
"I only just met him. He seems like such a kind man."
"He's the best. His artwork paid for just about everything we used tonight and then some. Now that this has happened...” Owen stopped and shook his head. “I don't know if he'll want to continue with his art. But I hope so."
Kathy shook her head in sadness. Sometimes life didn't seem very fair. First, all those lives had been lost. Now, Gawain lay injured with his hand amputated. She slowly helped Owen wrap the remains of his arm in a clean, sterile bandage. He might not thank Tearach for saving his life when he awoke. Not that the missing hand was something to die over, but amputees sometimes did
n't see it that way. Some of them, when they found out what had been done, irrationally wanted to die. It often took counseling and patience to get them to see that life went on, and that their abilities hadn't diminished. Gawain would simply have to learn how to do things a different way. Surely, with such a big family, he'd find the love and support he needed. The kind she would share forever with Tearach.
As the minutes ticked by and Gawain showed signs of stabilizing, Kathy took a few moments in a nearby restroom to gather her wits. Serious matters began to cross her mind. All the goods that supported the Order's existence were being crafted within the Loft. Kathy stared at her reflection in a mirror, and felt a sudden kind of foreboding. So many beings depended on those art pieces and saleable goods. Others were now dead, killed while crafting them.
What would the Sorceress be able to conjure in the way of compensation? Not even she could replace all the materials and tools. Certainly, Shayla could do nothing to compensate the families of the dead. For them, life as they knew it stopped tonight. Before any other work could begin, the grieving families would have to be comforted. She'd been so very close to being one of them.
Kathy raised her eyes to the ceiling. “Please, help those who lost loved ones tonight. I know what they're feeling, and they'll never stop hurting. These people may call you by other names, but I know they're praying to the same god. Be with us all now, I beg you.” With her rendition of a prayer finished, she slid to her knees and wept.
Chapter Seventeen
"Tearach, darling. You need to wake up,” Kathy said, touching his face.
Tearach took a deep breath, forced his eyes open and found himself in his own room, propped comfortably against soft pillows. “How did I get here?"
"I thought you might recuperate better if you were home. And I'm sure you wanted to see Tearyn."
A slow smile spread across his face. He tried to lift his arm, but he did it too quickly. A sharp pain came from deep within his chest. “What in the bloody damn did I do to myself?"
"You've a nice set of broken ribs and a broken leg to go along with them. That means you're going to be around the cottage for a very long time."
"That won't do. I have to be up and working with the other men. I can't just lie about."
"Well, you don't have a choice, my love. You're going to stay put until you're better, and that's the Sorceress’ direct command."
"I don't think you understand what's happened, Kathy. Everything was in that building. All our tools, the goods we were going to sell this year."
"Not to mention nine people who didn't get out,” Kathy sadly informed him.
Tearach's heart dropped. “Nine didn't..."
She nodded and waited for him to take in the information. “Their families have already set up altars to mourn them. I saw one in the woods yesterday. It was heartwrenching."
His throat ached. “I thought ... after we got the workers outside, we made our way to the far end of the building and checked. We thought everyone was gone. By then, the fire was on us and we had to find a window to ... Herne, help us! I didn't know others were still there."
"You're misunderstanding, darling. They were lost when the kiln blew up. They were already gone when you got there. Didn't you know about it?"
Tears filled his eyes. “I was just told about Gawain and the six others."
She stroked his hair and then his cheek with one hand. “I know how their families feel, though I wish I didn't. It's a pain that will never go away. In time, it'll be bearable, but only just."
He swallowed the lump in his throat while remembering Kathy's loss of her father and her intended husband in a fire. How horrible it must have been for her and for the families of those who never came out. They'd stood by and watched, unable to do anything. His heart felt like lead.
Kathy took a deep breath. “If the list of dead had included you, I couldn't have stood it. Especially because I never told you..."
He tilted his head and gazed at her. “Never told me what, sweetheart?"
She scooted closer and wrapped her arms about his shoulders. “I love you, Tearach. I should have said it so long ago. Please, forgive me. I think I have a head as hard as yours."
He buried his face in her clean, flower-scented hair and held on. “I love you too, Kathy. I should have learned a vital lesson at Exmoor, but it seems I'm still being taught."
She pulled back far enough to look into his black eyes. “What lesson?"
"That you should never wait to tell someone you love them. They should hear it every day of their lives."
"I guess we thought we had all the time in the world,” she whispered.
"I wanted things to be perfect. On Imbolc, I was going to find some quiet place and ask you to handfast with me.” He put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her. “Now, I won't even be able to walk to the ceremony with you. And it will be a time of grief, not happiness. Not after losing so many.” He sighed and hung his head in sorrow.
She kissed his forehead. “I already consider myself your mate, Tearach, and there'll always be Spring Equinox. We can be handfasted then. After the pain of all the loss isn't so new."
For a long time, he clung to her. Then he asked, “Does anyone know exactly what happened? Has there been time figure it out?"
Kathy shook her head. “I don't know. Shayla will stop by tonight. We can ask her then. I'm just so glad you and Rome got out safely.” She nuzzled her cheek against his and murmured endearments to him for a very long time.
He thankfully remembered Rome's escape with him and Gawain, but not much else. He also remembered that Kathy couldn't have seen it because he was at the back of the building. She needed his comfort and he needed hers. “My heart will always be with yours, Kathy. No matter what happens, you need to know that,” he consoled and held her as close as his injuries would allow. Finally, he gently pushed her away. “How long have I been home?"
"Two days. But you were pretty heavily sedated. I don't think Owen wants you moving about too much."
"As much as I'd love to stay right here with you and never leave, I need to get back to work and help."
She caressed his shoulders. “Tearach, even if you could, the building is still hot. Wood there will be burning for days until the rain and the cold can get through all that rubble. And you're not going anywhere,” she firmly reiterated.
"Is Rome up and about? Was he injured badly?” He waved a hand, in frustration, at the cast on his leg.
"Yes, he's just as hurt. And Cairna is having a hard time getting him to stay put. He's just as hardheaded as you."
"All those people dead,” he murmured, and turned his head away so she wouldn't try to bear his pain as well as her own.
Kathy pulled him into her embrace again and held on.
For a long, quiet time, they clung to each other. A steady tattoo of rain and sleet gently pelted the window pains. Tearach wanted to bury himself into her embrace and never come out. She stroked his back and whispered soft words of love and comfort. Then she drew slightly away and placed a hand on one of his cheeks. Her thumb caressed his lips. “I'll bring Tearyn in for you in a minute. First, I'd better tell you the rest."
Tearach took one look at her sorrow-filled eyes and wondered what other horrible news he'd hear. Something deep inside made him wish he was in another place.
"Gawain will live. You and Rome saved his life. But Owen had to take his right hand."
He took a deep shaky breath and felt his mouth go dry. “How did he respond?"
"He doesn't know yet. I assisted during the operation. Owen will keep him sedated to let his internal injuries heal. A piece of wood, from the explosion, embedded itself in his abdomen. He'll recover fine, but I don't know how he'll deal with his missing hand. You know the man better than I."
For several minutes, Tearach didn't speak. “He's a warrior. Gawain will fight, but it might take him time."
"I want you to rest, Tearach. There'll be time enough to sort all this
out.” She paused. “Just know that I love you with all my heart, and we'll get through this,” she reminded, wanting to say it as many times now as she could.
"Yes. So long as we're together.” He paused and stared at her. “I now know why Cairna chose you to be my mate, Kathy. I understand why she picked your file out of all those the Sorceress offered."
"I've sometimes wondered about that. What was so special about me?"
"She knew, even by looking at your photo and your file, that I could never want another but you. I needed a strong, beautiful enchantress. A woman of intelligence and grace who had love enough to see us both through my stubbornness and heartache. Without you, my life is nothing. I'll carry your love with me everywhere I am, in whatever corner of the forest I'm working and into whatever future we share."
"Oh, Tearach,” she sobbed and tried to wipe away the tears. But he took her hands in his and kissed them away instead.
"It's all right, my heart. Cry if you want to, and I'll hold you until it's over."
His warm arms wrapped around her and Kathy knew it was the only place in the world she'd ever feel so safe and happy. “You know,” she sniffed, “that damned file the Sorceress had on me didn't tell you everything."
"It didn't?” he breathed.
"It never said that my favorite color in the whole world is green."
Tearach smiled through the tears in his own eyes. If he'd listened to his heart sooner, it would have told him so.
* * * *
Many weeks later, Tearach's cast was removed, and he was almost back to his old self. He worked in the mines for part of the day, and then he helped clean the rubble from the burned remains of the Loft. He saw Gawain each day and, as Kathy told him might be the case, the man wasn't taking the loss of his arm or his co-workers easily. He blamed himself for not checking the equipment better, though everyone told him it wasn't his fault. Tearach feared Gawain would never turn out another piece of stunning artwork. He refused to touch his tools and spent a great deal of time alone. But the Sorceress was working with him, and Tearach knew if anyone could alter a person's outlook or change their destiny, Shayla was the one to do it.