“You changed without me,” she whispered to him.
“I would have waited, but you were knocked out,” he laughed. “You snore, by the way.”
“Shut up. I wanted to undress you.” She was never normally this forward, but at least this time she’d meant to say those words and Alejandro didn’t make her regret them.
“I’m wearing clothes and you’re more than welcome to take them off me.” His hand moved over her thigh and lid down toward her hip.
“I wanted to take off your cufflinks and unbutton your shirt, slowly one button at a time. Sometimes that’s all I can think about when we’re in the Faculty Senate Meetings, how I want to undress you painfully slow, so you’ll fuck me the same way.” Her face was hot with her admission. Deja had never been the type to talk dirty, but she liked to tell the truth. She meant every word she’d said to Alejandro and there was more where that came from.
Alejandro’s pupils slowly dilated as she spoke. “Next time,” he croaked in a rough voice dripping with arousal.
“Promise?”
He swallowed, thick and loud, and then nodded. “I might have had that fantasy too.”
Deja smiled and sat up on her knees, letting the covers fall from the vice grip of her left hand. Her nipples pebbled as the cool air hit her skin and Alejandro’s eyes widened as they did. Yeah, she felt powerful and wanted and she never wanted this feeling to end.
“Stand up,” she whispered.
Alejandro practically to his feet in excitement.
Deja laughed and shook her head and then bent over to crawl to the edge of the bed toward him. H
He groaned and cursed under his breath.
She slipped her hands under the hem of t-shirt and slid her palms over his abs and up his ribs and his chest. She straightened to pull his t-shirt over his head. She kept her eyes on his as she bent forward, lowering her mouth to stomach. She placed soft kisses on each of Alejandro’s ridiculously defined abs and then up moved her mouth up his chest. She let her tongue move through the hair dusting his chest until they were face to face.
She watched him as she pushed his basketball shorts down his legs with a smile. It was his turn to pant in anticipation, although he didn’t beg the way she had. At least not yet.
He wasn’t wearing any underwear and she sat back on her heels with an appreciative smile and a groan. She’d never had a better view.
“Deja,” Alejandro said in a choked voice. It wasn’t a plea, but his voice sure was strained.
She didn’t look at his face, couldn’t tear her eyes away from his thick dick as it slowly grew before her eyes like magic, like intensely lustful magic.
When looking would no longer suffice, she gently cupped his length from underneath, cradling it in the palm of her hand as if it was precious, squeezing him gently. And then she leaned forward to run her tongue over the head and up the top of his shaft.
Alejandro hissed.
As she licked him from tip to root again and again, his legs tensed, and his body began to shake. She had no idea what any of these muscles were but watching them spasm as she used her tongue to tease him was a definite highlight of the night. She finally lifted her eyes again and so she could watch his face when she sucked just the head of his penis into her mouth.
“Dammit,” he hissed grabbing onto his head and if her were falling apart.
“I really hope you have condoms,” she whispered against the mushroom crown of his shaft.
“I bought two boxes after Wednesday,” he admitted in a rush.
“Gotta love a man who’s prepared,” she said, sitting back on her heels.
Alejandro laughed and pushed her onto her back, gently but still urgently, covering her body with his.
Deja moaned at all their skin connecting and his tongue in her mouth. He kissed her until she was squirming underneath him and scratching at his back and circling her panty covered pussy against his groan.
He tore his mouth from hers just long enough to pull open the drawer in his bedside table with a bit too much force. He lifted onto his knees and tore the box of condoms open while Deja shimmied out of her underwear, accidentally kicking Alejandro in his side to get her underwear over her knees and off one leg.
“Oof,” he huffed.
“Fuck sorry,” she said she said.
His only answer was laughter and to push her legs apart again so he could look at her slit as he rushed to roll the condom down on.
She found that she liked his eyes on this part of her body and moved her hand between her legs, touching her sensitive folds for their pleasure.
His hand tightened over the head of his dick as he tried to stave off a release and she slipped her middle finger into her warm pussy for the opposite reason.
“Fuck, Deja,” he whispered.
“I love it when you say my name like that,” she breathed.
He grabbed her right thigh, squeezed and pushed it down toward the bed, opening herself fully to him. “Like what?” he asked.
“Like I’m making it hard for you to stay calm,” she said as she moved her wet finger along her lips to circle her clit just as the tip of Alejandro’s dick tapped at her opening.
“Fuck!” Her moan was a shouted, surprised, but satisfied cry.
“That’s exactly how I feel,” he said and then pushed inside her in one long, slow press.
When he was in her to the hilt, he grabbed her other thigh and squeezed. Pushing her thighs to the bed.
The spread hurt deliciously. She’d never felt so exposed or so full as she did in that moment. “Shit,” she breathed.
“Yeah,” he whispered back to her, and she could hear that he was as far gone as her.
“Keep touching yourself,” he demanded, his eyes shifting between her face and between her legs where he was filling her up.
Deja was more than happy to obey. She gently rubbed at her clit as Alejandro began to pump into her as slowly and deliberately as he seemed to do everything else.
She felt every inch of him enter until his balls rested against her ass, and then retreat, her own sex pulsing and clenching at him to keep him inside. Deja hadn’t had bad sex before him per se, but she’d never had anyone work her over so thoroughly before. It was exquisite. a
But she wanted to feel his weight on top of her again. She moved her finger down her lips and then, when he was almost fully inside her, she grabbed him at the base and squeezed.
“Holy fuck,” he hissed and doubled over her. His fingers dug into her thighs and she wondered if it would bruise and how she might feel about that.
Next time, she thought to herself, and pulled him on top of her.
His hips jerked and he started fucking her from this new angle, not as deep but harder. She slipped her tongue into his mouth so he could taste her pussy. When he released her finger, she cradled the back of his head – scratching gently at his scalp – and pulled him into another kiss. She didn’t think she’d ever get sick of kissing him.
Alejandro’s lips slowly caressed Deja’s mouth and his tongue massaged her own as he rocked his hips against her in hard thrusts that made her moan each time.
They fucked each other slowly for what felt like hours, until their bodies were covered with sweat and their moans mingled in their kiss and Deja’s body was shuddering with her coming orgasm.
“You’re close. I can feel it,” he groaned against her mouth.
She was too incoherent to do anything but nod.
Alejandro wedged his hand between their bodies and settled his thumb over her clit. Deja broke. This orgasm was no less intense than the last, there had been too much wanting and waiting between them, one orgasm wasn’t enough; there might never be enough to sate over a year of need. So, it was a good thing he never let up. He fucked her through that orgasm, groaning as her pussy fluttered and clenched around him, enjoying the ripples of her orgasm. And when she seemed to be coming down, he moved harder against her and increased the pressure of his thumb on her clit until she
came again. And then he went through the whole routine again; fucking and teasing her until she came and then spinning her back up again. She couldn’t do anything but scream and scratch at his back in desperation.
When he was close though, he shoved his hands between her ass and the mattress. He grabbed a cheek in each hand and squeezed as he started to fuck her harder than ever, using his hold on her to jerk her hips into his.
Deja hadn’t thought she could fall apart anymore, but she did. She became a screaming mess as he chased his released inside her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled his mouth to hers again. Their kiss was sloppy and full of her cries and his grunts and teeth and tongue as he came apart on top of her.
She locked her ankles behind his ass, in no hurry to break the embrace. She liked the feel of his damp body on hers and his dick insider her, but most of all she loved the way his heart was pounding so hard and fast she could feel it in her own chest.
Deja knew they’d have to get up eventually at least to throw the condom in the trash. But when Alejandro’s body relaxed and he settled his full weight on top of her, she knew that she wouldn’t be the one to force them to do it. She’d never felt safer than she did with Alejandro on top of her and his mouth ghosting over her cheeks.
9.
The Morning After
Maybe other, better-adjusted people could wake up the morning after finally hooking up with their crush and feel energized, ecstatic, maybe even horny.
Deja was not one of those people.
Her eyes blinked open, and her vision filled with Alejandro’s shoulder and bare chest. She was painfully near-sighted without her glasses or contacts and she could feel her contacts sticking dry and painful to her eyelids. She knew she’d pay for having slept in them just as soon as she got home, but Alejandro was close enough to her that she could see the trail of brown freckles across his right shoulder. She watched as his chest rose and fell in deep slow breaths and unconsciously calibrated her breathing to match his. She had the urge to run her fingers over those freckles and through the soft hair across his chest and then down his stomach, followed by her mouth, but she stopped herself, suddenly unsure.
She’d been single for so long that she’d deluded herself into thinking dating would be easy once she tried again. She’d spent years spinning yarns in her head about what it would feel like when she met the right person, romantic fantasies that were more elaborate and unrealistic as the rest of her life became more and more stressful. The point wasn’t to prepare herself to date again, her fantasies that were distractions; Deja didn’t believe the right person existed. That’s why it had been so easy to pour her desires into Alejandro, he was a walking fantasy, but apparently, he was even better in person; even better than she, Toni, and Marie thought.
But the insecurity that seized her wasn’t about Alejandro, it was about herself. He might have been a great dresser, smooth talker, down to earth, amazing kisser, and damn good in bed, but she was just regular old, overworked, burnt-out Deja, and in the sunshine coming through his bedroom window, she knew that she was punching way above her weight with him.
Instead of touching or kissing Alejandro like she wanted in the first gasp of consciousness, Deja started inching toward the edge of the bed, ready to run. She didn’t have a concrete plan, but if there was anything she’d become adept at since graduate school, it was winging it. That’s what she did when she had to lecture about a topic she didn't know much about or had to teach a class she’d never taught before. The trick was that she only had to know more than her students and to speak clearly and authoritatively, and she only needed to be a week ahead of them in the readings on the syllabus. And if she failed...well, she’d failed a lot and it had become a familiar state of being.
There wasn’t a syllabus for slinking out of her crush’s bed the night after great sex, but she could scoot out of bed with determination; that seemed like a good start. All she had to do was get out of bed, find enough of her clothes so she didn’t get arrested for indecent exposure, slip out the front door without waking him up, run half a block away, and call a cab. Easy. She could do that, she thought and then she fell halfway out of bed and banged her knee on the hardwood floor with a loud yelp.
Failure again.
Alejandro grunted awake and sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What’s happening?” he asked to no one in particular.
Deja sighed. He was adorable with mussed hair from sleep and just curling at the ends. And his voice was a solid A+ first thing in the morning and made her sex quiver, battling her aching knee in intensity.
“I was trying to sneak out,” she admitted, still half-hanging out of bed. She rested her chin on the mattress and frowned.
He grabbed his glasses from the bedside table and shoved them onto his face. Deja looked away; he was too much.
“Were you trying to sneak to the bathroom, or were you leaving?” he asked with a serious frown to his face that he probably used when asking his students why they hadn’t done the assigned reading.
“Leaving,” she mumbled.
“Were you going to leave a note?”
She shook her head.
“That’s cold, Deja.”
She bit her bottom lip. “I think I freaked out a little...A lot. I freaked out a lot.”
“And then you fell out of bed?” he asked. She could hear the laughter in his voice.
“This is very typical pathetic behavior from me,” she said.
He grabbed her hand and she let him slowly pull her back onto the bed.
“Ow. I hurt my knee,” she whined, rubbing at it once she was sitting on the bed again.
Alejandro lost the battle not to laugh at her and she smiled. It was funny. And pathetic.
He brushed his fingers over her kneecap. “Just so you know, I sleep like a rock most of the time. You could have step on me, and I won’t wake up, but loud sounds…yeah, that wakes me up.”
Deja sighed again. “Good to know.”
He leaned over and kissed her temple. “Next time,” he whispered, and her stomach flipped. She turned to see him smiling at her. “Stay here. I’ll get you some ice.”
She nodded mutely and watched as he stood from the bed. The covers fell from his body, and he didn’t bother to cover his nakedness as he looked around the floor for his sweatpants. She was almost sad to see him dressed, but he looked so sexy with the pants hanging low on his hips and his muscled body covered in a light dusting of dark black hair everywhere. The heat of shame and failure burned away as the desire to touch him washed over her again.
He stopped in the bedroom door and turned back to her. “I don’t think you’re pathetic, by the way.”
“I do,” she shot back.
“Don’t. If you feel the need to run again, just leave a note. Please,” he said quietly and winked at her before leaving the room.
“Fuck, he’s perfect,” she breathed.
“I’m really not,” he called from the hallway with a laugh.
“You heard that?”
“These walls are thin as fuck.”
Deja’s entire body warmed, and she buried her face in the closest pillow.
Alejandro wasn’t just as great as she’d thought; he was better.
10.
November
“Alright, there’ll be a special faculty meeting to go over the applications for the job candidates. I’m sorry to have to schedule this during finals week, but we really don’t have much time before the semester is over, and we don’t want to do this through email,” Sheila said.
Alejandro didn’t groan, but he sympathized with whichever one of his colleagues had. “That week is a scheduling nightmare,” he said, giving voice to the tension filling the room.
“I know, but it’s either this or ask you all to either stay in town for or video conference in during your winter break.”
“Not an option,” Marcus Ford said to Alejandro’s left. “I’m posting my final grades from the airport, and then it’s
a complete technology blackout until two days before spring semester. Marriage retreat. Sasha and I have been looking forward to this all year,” he said with a wide smile on his face.
“Why?” Alejandro asked with a laugh.
Marcus shoved his shoulder playfully.
“I agree. I’ve got a ten-hour drive ahead of me after my last exam. Schedule the meeting, that’s fine with me,” Rachel Bloom said. “As long as I don’t have to postpone my trip home, I’ll agree to anything.”
Even though everyone was annoyed at adding one more meeting on their schedules, this was the best-case scenario. Alejandro nodded at Sheila just as his phone vibrated. It was a reminder for yet another meeting. Normally, he hated days like this, where he had to rush from meeting to meeting with barely enough time to think or breathe, but when he shoved his laptop into his shoulder bag and stood from the conference table, he felt a frisson of excitement shoot up his spine.
How could he feel any other way? He was about to see Deja.
Never mind that it hadn’t even been a month since the last Faculty Senate meeting, and they were already gathering again just so the university could waste one more afternoon in the most boring way before the end of the semester. Never mind that he still had three final exam sheets to write and a stack of quizzes to grade and return, he still couldn’t help feeling a kind of ridiculous excitement at knowing he’d have two uninterrupted hours in a room with Deja.
They’d been dating for a few weeks, even though they hadn’t called it that yet, but they’d only had time to properly go out on a date twice since their first, and each time they had, they hadn’t been able to go farther than the burger joint down the street from campus; the one that the faculty and graduate students preferred, not the undergrad dive. Alejandro was somehow chairing three different committees in his department, sitting on the Faculty Senate, teaching three classes, he was the faculty advisor for the Latino/a/x Student Union, and secretary for the faculty union, and that was before he’d agreed to co-chair a committee with Deja, which would put who knew how much work on his plate next semester. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to go out more, it was that they didn’t have time, so they made the most of every minute they could be together, including the Faculty Senate meeting.
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