He’d never spent such a night with a woman—never shared such a connection with anyone. Physically, he desired her, but Maddie’s intelligence and perceptive sympathy were equally seductive to him. It was this latter discovery that surprised him most.
Each moment in her presence was another tug at his tightly knit resolve, another yank that threatened the integrity of who he was. As much as he feared unraveling as his father had, he felt himself longing for something outside the realm of his work.
Jace had confided in her today, told her things he’d never spoken aloud to anyone. Things he barely admitted to himself. She’d mined emotions from him that he’d buried deeply in his past and his work and whatever else might smother them. Emotions he hadn’t allowed himself to feel, let alone express. And strangely, in dredging the unpleasantness to the surface, he’d found real relief. Freedom.
Shoving away this troubling realization, Jace turned his attention to the task at hand. The house call to check on Daniel. He was still incensed by the memory of Daniel’s ungrateful outburst at the picnic, but Jace stowed his anger inside his duty as a physician. He pulled the buggy up to the Hogle house. The porch lamps glowed and the house was well lit. For a moment, Jace feared Daniel had taken a turn for the worse.
Jace rapped on the door. Without a word, Gertrude led him through the quiet hall to the parlor, where Daniel sat on the sofa beside his uncle, the pastor. Dolly sat opposite them. Their grim expressions gave Jace the distinct feeling he’d interrupted a serious family discussion.
Matthew Webster appeared from the next room, halting at the sight of Jace. Resuming his pace, he strode to Dolly, then dropped the afghan he carried into her lap.
“It’s late, so I’ll check Daniel’s condition, then be on my way,” Jace said.
Daniel remained silent during the brief examination, only nodding and shaking his head to answer Jace’s questions. Beneath the watchful eyes of his audience, Jace completed the exam, satisfied to discover Daniel suffered no lingering symptoms, not even a headache.
“You’ve recovered nicely,” Jace said. “I’ll check on you once more tomorrow. Notify me if there’s any change in the meanwhile.” Jace gave a nod to the others. “Good night.” He closed his medical bag, then turned for the door.
“One moment, please, Doctor,” Pastor Hogle called.
Jace stopped short, his spine tingling with dread.
The pudgy man stood, hands on his lapels. “Just before you arrived, we were discussing my nephew’s accident.”
“He was lucky. The concussion could have been worse.”
“Daniel told us that while that woman—your fiancée—was kneeling over him, he experienced something strange.”
“Strange?” Jace glanced to Daniel, and the coward averted his eyes.
“She did something to him,” Gertrude declared, leaning forward.
“I didn’t say that, Gert,” Daniel snapped.
Gertrude slumped back in her seat next to Dolly.
“What is it you did say, Daniel?” Jace frowned, shifting his weight. “What have you to say about the woman who rushed to your aid? The woman who held ice to your head, which reduced your swelling significantly, and therefore, the severity of your injury?”
“She was kneeling while applying the ice,” Pastor Hogle clarified. “And she used her own glove, did she not?” He stepped closer. “I’ve heard disturbing stories of self-proclaimed mystical healers and practitioners of witchcraft and how they use personal items to—”
Jace blinked incredulously. “Are you suggesting that Miss Sutter cast a spell on him?” He teetered between laughter and rage for all of a moment. The pulse pounding at his temples pushed him swiftly toward rage. “That her actions led to his prolonged impairment, when, in fact, her quick thinking may have saved his life?”
Pastor Hogle pursed his lips, taking a few moments to form a reply. “I’m suggesting you refrain from allowing that woman to act as a nurse to your patients. My nephew is quite distressed.”
“I’m fine,” Daniel said. “I merely mentioned I’d felt something strange.”
“You did feel something strange, Daniel,” Jace shot back. “It was a horseshoe to your skull.” He pointed at Daniel. “You should be counting your lucky stars that you’re alive, instead of attempting to discredit Miss Sutter with ridiculous accusations.” Jace dragged his look of disgust across the other faces peering up at him. His eyes fixed on Matthew’s triumphant expression, and he felt his stomach lurch. “So should the rest of you.” He turned and strode from the house.
The door slammed behind him, but he didn’t care. He stomped from the porch toward the buggy. Clenching the reins, he gave them a snap and tore down the road. Would these people never leave Maddie in peace? Ignorant fools, the lot of them for shunning and blaming her.
Maddie was a remarkable, resilient woman, but perhaps it was silly to hope that she might one day transform Misty Lake’s irrational hatred of her into something manageable. She deserved so much more. Watching her today with Caroline and the Strope brothers, Jace had realized how easy it would be for Maddie in another town, away from her past and the poisonous talk, far from those who made her life miserable.
Jace couldn’t help wondering if he, himself, had hurt Maddie by taking her into his bed. Despite her vow that she would never marry, she could certainly do so if she wished. She could leave Misty Lake and start a new life. People started over all the time. Men would flock to her.
The sharp ache in his chest confirmed what he already knew. He didn’t want her to leave. Now he was not only a jealous man, he was a selfish one, too. It was not a self-discovery in which he took any pride or pleasure, and he gritted his teeth in shame for the remainder of the short ride home.
Chapter 18
Maddie’s mind buzzed with the memory of last night, and her body still hummed. She’d arrived at the office that morning eager for more, but she and Jace had barely had a moment alone since sun up. A steady influx of patients had kept both of them running all day, and Jace was just now saying his good-byes to the last one. He would then spend some time transcribing patient notes in his office, while Maddie moved on to her final task of the afternoon: cleaning and restocking the examination room.
She set to her work, grateful for the distraction. The hours in Jace’s presence had filled her with desires she could barely contain. She was fairly bursting with longing to touch him again.
Her wildest dreams about what it might be like to share Jace’s bed paled in comparison to how wonderful it had been. Not even when she healed, when she poured her heart and soul into another living being, had she ever experienced anything as intensely intimate as she had in that bed.
No wonder she’d fancied herself in love with him. She shook her head against such foolishness, accepting that she’d mistaken lust for love. Even now, the mere picture of him, hunched over his desk, engaged in the task of writing notes, filled her with longing. What was more, she found the anticipation of acting on her lust again overwhelmingly thrilling.
With a deep breath, she refocused herself, straightening the supplies on the counter in the examination room. Jace was a stickler for order when it came to the room where he performed his most important work. Everything had to be arranged just so for easy access, and Maddie took great care to ensure the room’s condition measured up to his high standards. This chore would keep her busy until Jace drove her home.
She restocked the shelf with fresh linens, then proceeded to sweep the floor. Her work was interrupted by a call for help from the hall.
“I need the doctor!”
Maddie hadn’t seen Evan Yates since he’d moved to Chicago two years ago, but even with the bushy mustache he now wore, she recognized him immediately.
Jace rushed from his office, almost colliding into Maddie as he skidded to a halt. “I’m Doctor Merrick. What is it?”
“My wife. The baby isn’t expected until late next month, but somethin
g is wrong. Hurry, please,” he said.
With a reassuring squeeze to Evan’s shoulder, Jace said, “I’ll get my bag.” He turned to Maddie. “Can you get yourself home?”
“Yes, of course.” She waved Jace toward the door.
“No,” Evan said. He turned to Maddie. “You must come, too.”
Maddie blinked in surprise. Evan’s sister, Phoebe, had died in the wagon accident Maddie had survived. No one in that family had spoken a word to Maddie since. Until now.
“Please, Madeline,” he said. “Laura needs a woman with her. She’s crazed with fears of childbed fever, and my mother went to Saratoga. She may not be back for hours.”
That he wanted Maddie’s help with the birth of his child showed how terrified he truly was. Maddie couldn’t refuse. “All right.” She glanced to Jace.
“Let’s go,” he said.
She grabbed her shawl and followed behind the men as they headed outside. Jace raced to hitch up the buggy, while Maddie tried to calm Evan with small talk. “So, are you and your wife in town for a visit?”
Shaking his head, Evan stared after Jace, clearly distracted. “We’re staying with my mother while we build our own house on the property next door. Laura’s been helping me clear brush all week. The exertion must have brought the labor on early.”
“Don’t worry, Evan. Doctor Merrick will take good care of Laura and the baby,” she said, glancing toward the carriage house and wishing Jace would hurry.
A few minutes later, Jace had the buggy hitched and ready to go. Maddie hurried to the buggy as Evan hopped into his wagon and tore down the road.
Maddie held tight as Jace sped to keep up with Evan. The Yates house was situated on the more isolated side of Misty Lake, a few miles from town. The thought of Evan’s poor wife, trembling in pain, afraid and alone, turned Maddie’s stomach. Women sometimes died during childbirth. Babies died, too.
She glanced at Jace. He drove with purpose, his handsome face set in determination. As always, his confidence helped put her at ease. Maddie felt sure that Jace’s skill as a physician would result in a healthy outcome for both mother and baby.
They reached the house. Evan ran to the porch and took the stairs two at a time. “I’m coming, Laura!” He flung open the weathered screen door, nearly snapping it from the rusty hinges. “I’ve brought the doctor.”
Maddie’s heart pounded as she and Jace raced inside. They followed Evan upstairs to the bedroom at the end of the hall.
Laura squirmed in the bed, panting wildly. Sweat beaded on her forehead. Tears streaked her pale cheeks. She clutched the sheets at her sides, writhing and whimpering in pain.
Jace set his bag on the foot of the bed, then opened it wide. He set out some bottles and instruments, including ominous-looking forceps. “You may want to wait in the hall, Evan,” he said at the man’s petrified expression.
Evan leaned over Laura and kissed her cheek. The tender concern in his eyes as he gazed down at his wife caused a lump in Maddie’s throat that nearly choked her. Oh, to be loved so dearly…
“I’ll be right outside,” Evan whispered in Laura’s ear.
Laura nodded frantically, overcome by her discomfort.
“All right, now, Laura, let’s see how you’re doing,” Jace said. After a brief exam of her belly, he said, “The baby’s positioned properly.” He walked to the foot of the bed. Lifting the sheet between her legs, he ducked beneath the tent he’d created to examine her. “You’re doing just fine,” he said. “It won’t be long now.”
Whimpering in fright, Laura nodded.
Maddie distracted herself from her own fear by filling a basin with water. She soaked a rag, fingers trembling as she squeezed out the excess water. “My name is Madeline, Laura,” she said as she dabbed the cool compress to Laura’s sweaty forehead.
Laura conveyed her gratitude by patting Maddie’s hand. Her soft grip on Maddie’s fingers tightened as another pain tore through her body.
Maddie winced from the force of Laura’s grip. And again from the piercing scream that punctuated the end of Laura’s contraction.
Maddie’s heart ached for the girl, but she didn’t dare intervene. Laura required Jace’s ability today, not Maddie’s. He would guide this child safely into the world. Maddie watched as Jace moved about, preparing for the birth. The massive responsibility he carried each day—by choice and not circumstance—filled Maddie with awe.
The door opened and Evan’s mother burst inside. “What’s happening?”
Evan followed on her heels.
“You’re about to become a grandmother, Mrs. Yates,” Jace said.
The woman rushed to Laura’s side. “Stay strong, darling,” she said, patting Laura’s knee. Mrs. Yates uttered a few more hasty words of encouragement before she noticed it was Maddie at her side. “What is she doing here?” she asked, turning to Evan.
“I was desperate, Mother. Laura needed a woman.”
“Laura was frightened,” Jace said. “Madeline is helping to keep her calm.”
“That’s what chloroform is for,” she shot back. “Besides, I’m here now, and we don’t need her upsetting things.”
Laura stared, wide-eyed, at Mrs. Yates’s sudden hostility. The confusion on her pale face turned to alarm.
Relinquishing the compress to Mrs. Yates, Maddie took a step back. She’d do nothing to upset Laura, nothing to jeopardize the delivery. “I’ll wait downstairs,” she offered.
“Mrs. Yates, there’s no need—”
“This is my house, Doctor Merrick. My family. I will not have my grandchild born into a room occupied by Madeline Sutter.”
“I’ll be downstairs,” Maddie said to Jace on her way to the door. She stepped from the room, tears stinging her eyes.
She stopped in the hall to regain her composure. Stiffening at the sound of the door opening behind her, she turned, expecting to see Evan. Instead it was Mrs. Yates who had followed her.
“I’m sorry, Madeline, but I can’t have you anywhere in the vicinity of my grandchild’s birth.” Her voice emitted no cruelty, only grief. Maddie knew she was a painful reminder to Mrs. Yates of a daughter lost much too soon.
Maddie lowered her eyes at the memory of Phoebe’s sweet face. The unintentional discomfort Maddie had caused, at what should be a joyous event, filled her with shame.
“I will wait on the porch.”
Mrs. Yates shook her head. “You don’t understand,” she said. “I need you off the premises.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “Please go.”
Maddie turned, squeezing back tears as she descended the stairs. In her haste to leave, she snagged the sleeve of her dress on a loose nail on the broken screen door. She yanked it free, tearing the fabric and the skin beneath, but she didn’t care. She felt utterly wretched as she stepped from the porch and into the blinding darkness.
* * * *
Jace held the baby, marveling at the new life squirming in his arms. He felt honored that he was the first person in the world to touch this tiny child. In Pittsburgh, he’d been so rushed after each delivery, he hadn’t the chance to reflect on how remarkable it was. It struck him suddenly that by settling here, in Misty Lake, he’d get the chance to watch this child grow. To see him through common colds and fevers, bumps and bruises, and all the other ailments children experienced.
His last meeting with Doctor Filmore popped into his mind. Filmore’s mute anguish in the wake of Jace’s finger pointing began to sink in. It was difficult losing patients. But Doctor Filmore hadn’t only lost three anonymous patients in that wagon accident. He had lost three girls he’d held in his arms during their first moments on earth, before their own mothers had even had a chance to touch them. Girls he had nursed through illness and watched mature into young women. Daughters, nieces, and children of lifelong friends. While this could never excuse what he’d done to Maddie, Jace could now appreciate how Filmore’s emotions had impaired his judgment.
Jac
e placed the baby in Laura’s arms, watching the joy on the faces of the people in the room with him. Evan, Laura, and Mrs. Yates huddled around the new addition to their family, and Jace’s chest swelled with pride, and something else he couldn’t quite define.
Maddie would have enjoyed this scene, and he would have enjoyed sharing it with her. He bit back his anger at Mrs. Yates for banishing Maddie from the room, when she’d come here only to help. “I’ll be going now,” he said as he packed up his bag. “I’ll stop back tomorrow to check on Laura and the baby.”
“Thank you, Doctor Merrick,” Laura said. “And please thank Madeline for me.”
“You can thank her yourself,” he said. “She’s right downstairs.” He glanced to Mrs. Yates. “Would you call her?”
Mrs. Yates replied without looking up. “She’s not here.”
“What do you mean? Where did she go?”
Mrs. Yates glanced down at the baby, avoiding Jace’s eyes.
He stiffened, appalled. “You sent her out of the house? Alone? In the dark?”
After several beats, the woman finally looked up, her expression cool. “I did what I had to. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must tend to Laura.” She turned back to her daughter-in-law. “I’ll get you a nice cup of cool black tea, dear.”
Jace left the house, emitting a succession of curses as he boarded the buggy. Maddie’s crumpled shawl lay on the seat beside him, and he swore again that she’d been forced out into the cold. He drove at a brisk pace, keeping his eyes honed for any sign of her. The birth had progressed rather quickly, and Maddie had a long walk home.
In the dim light of the buggy’s lamps, he saw movement on the side of the road up ahead. It was Maddie. He snapped the reins hard. He stopped the buggy when he reached her, then helped her inside. Placing the shawl around her, he noticed a large tear in her dress.
“What happened? Are you all right?” he asked, unable to disguise his alarm.
The Lady Who Lived Again Page 16