by BWWM Club
“Alex! Where are you?!? Our baby is missing!” Bianca screamed, running as fast as she could towards his voice.
Where was he? Finally she emerged from the house but Alex was gone. The sound of the crying baby had stopped and Bianca collapsed on the ground, defeated. The baby was gone. Alex was gone. She began to sob as the house burned down around her. She heard sirens in the distance but she couldn’t make out the fire trucks. The sirens were getting louder and louder. Someone was shouting her name again.
Bianca bolted upright in bed, sobs wracking her body. The dream was still fresh in her mind and a chill shook her as she realized the meaning. Her baby was gone. She felt empty, lost.
“Bianca?” Alex asked, his hand resting on her arm. He must have been trying to wake her.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean to wake you,” Bianca whispered sadly.
“You were crying in your sleep so I woke you. Were you having a nightmare?” He asked, rubbing her arm to comfort her.
She nodded, but didn’t tell him about it because she didn’t want to relive it and she didn’t want to see the pity that was sure to flash across his face when she said it; pity and sadness. It was her fault. Her stupid body failed and she lost Alex’s baby. How could he even look at her? She hated herself right now. Even though it had been a week since the miscarriage and proceeding D&C, Bianca still felt raw inside, like there was an opened wound that wouldn’t heal. Shrugging off the sudden wave of grief that engulfed her, Bianca lay back down on her pillow, allowing Alex to pull her into his arms. She didn’t deserve his comfort. She didn’t deserve anything. Closing her eyes to fight back tears, Bianca began to count backwards from one hundred, hoping it would help her fall asleep. By the time she reached fifty she knew it was a lost cause. Glancing over at her clock and seeing it was just after four-thirty, Bianca decided to get up. Today was the day she was supposed to return to work. It was the last thing she wanted to do. Sighing with frustration, Bianca climbed out of bed, being careful not to wake Alex since he seemed to have fallen back to sleep while they were laying there.
Bianca padded down the stairs and into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. Hopefully coffee would wake her up enough to get her through the day. At this rate, she would need at least five cups to sustain her. Having little appetite, Bianca decided against breakfast and took her steaming cup of coffee to the living room to watch the morning news. After several sad stories about shootings and fires, Bianca switched the TV off, her broken heart unable to take much more tragedy. Setting down her coffee on the end table, Bianca reclined back on the couch; she suddenly felt so exhausted. She would just close her eyes for a few minutes. As she drifted off to sleep Bianca had the faint image of being covered by a blanket.
*****
Alex rested the quilt over Bianca’s sleeping body, noticing the dark smudges under her chocolate brown eyes. She was barely sleeping lately and when she did she would wake in the middle of the night crying or screaming from nightmares. At the moment, she looked peaceful, her dark brown curls spread out on the pillow. Alex heard her get up, which wasn’t unusual lately. It seemed he couldn’t remember a time when Bianca didn’t wake before five a.m. Heaving a sigh of frustration, Alex tiptoed into the kitchen and brewed a cup of coffee for himself. The job he landed the day of Bianca’s miscarriage was on hold. He hadn’t even told her about it because he knew she needed him by her side while she healed. Alex was equally devastated but knew there was nothing either of them could have done to prevent it. Bianca felt otherwise. She blamed herself. Of course she never mentioned it to him directly but he knew that’s what she was thinking. After just two months, Alex was able to read Bianca better than anyone he knew.
Running a hand through his sleep tousled hair; Alex sat at the kitchen table and dropped his head in his hands with defeat. He felt like they were drifting apart but that was the last thing he wanted. Or maybe Bianca was pushing him away. Didn’t she see that they needed each other now more than ever? Stifling a curse Alex dumped his now cold cup of coffee in the sink and started back upstairs. He would just have to try harder, there was no way in hell he was going to lose her, he’d only just found her in the first place.
*****
Bianca woke up confused. Where was she and what time was it? Work! She bolted upright and looked around with panic. She was on the couch, a throw blanket over her legs. It was light out, but what time was it? Afraid she was late for work, Bianca stood up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen, the lights inside blaring. Where was Alex? She suddenly remembered that he slept over. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Bianca stumbled tiredly to the coffee maker. She glanced at the clock on the microwave; it was six forty-five. Kicking herself into high gear, Bianca brewed a cup of coffee. She turned and froze at what she saw before her. Alex was lying with his head on his arms, asleep at the table. Sighing with regret at the way their relationship was going the last few weeks, Bianca forgot about her coffee and walked over to where Alex was sleeping.
“Alex,” she whispered, leaning down to kiss his cheek. She felt bad waking him but she also knew he had job hunting to do.
“Hmmm,” he mumbled, turning his head.
“You fell asleep at the table,” Bianca said, running her hand through his sandy hair.
“I’m sorry,” he answered, sitting upright.
Bianca shook her head, “It’s okay I just didn’t want you to get a stiff neck.”
“Right,” Alex said rubbing his neck. “I think it already started.”
Bianca smiled at the way he was playing up his stiff neck. “Would you like me to rub it for you?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” Alex smirked, leaning into her touch.
After a few minutes, Alex moved his neck from side to side and gave her a thumbs up. With a chuckle, probably one of the first in a week, Bianca stepped back to retrieve her now ice cold coffee.
“I guess I’m going to be late for work my first day back,” Bianca shrugged as she heated up her coffee in the microwave.
“I called them and told them you needed one more day. I hope that’s okay?” Alex replied moving behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.
Bianca tried not to stiffen. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to touch her, but she felt like she didn’t deserve his comfort or affection after she failed to keep his unborn child safe.
“Bianca, let me help you. Let me take care of you. You’ve spent the last week moping around the house, not eating, barely sleeping and not talking to me. We need to talk about this if we are going to get past it,” Alex said turning her to face him. “Unless you don’t want to get past it,” he added.
Bianca shook her head. “It’s not that, Alex,” she said, opening her mouth to speak again only to snap it closed again. Now was not the time to tell him she loved him.
“Please, Bianca. Talk to me,” Alex begged, gripping her waist.
Tears began to well in Bianca’s eyes. She couldn’t talk to him. It hurt too much. Didn’t he see that? And it was all her fault.
Swallowing the giant lump in her throat, Bianca spoke, “I want to talk to you. But I can’t speak the words without reliving that awful day.” She choked back the sob that tried to escape. “Why aren’t you angry with me?” She added, a few rogue tears escaping her eyes.
Bianca wiped the tears away angrily and snatched her cup of coffee from the microwave, sloshing some over the side.
Damnit!
Tears of frustration finally falling, Bianca grabbed the dishtowel and sopped up her mess. From her periphery she could see Alex watching her, his jaw twitching with tension. He was gripping the side of the table until his knuckles turned white and Bianca thought he must be holding himself back from coming to her. But why? That was what she needed from him, unconditional comfort. She would talk about what happened when the time was right but just knowing he was there for her through this awful time would help her heal. Bianca feared he wouldn’t want to wait for her to heal though
and the thought made her stomach clench with fear.
*****
Alex watched as Bianca cleaned up the spilled coffee. His first instinct was to take the towel from her and do it himself. His second was to make her stop cleaning it up and gather her into his arms and not let go. Instead, he held onto the table and let her cry and mop up spilled coffee like an asshole. What was he waiting for? Damned if he knew. Releasing his grip from the table, Alex ran a hand through his hair again with aggravation. How did something that was going so well turn to such shit in a matter of months? Giving up the fight to leave her alone, Alex pushed off from the table and walked across the room. At this point Bianca was done with the coffee spill and was leaning over the counter silently sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her waist again and ignored her stiffening posture.
“Bianca,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to her neck.
“Please don’t, Alex. I don’t deserve it,” she sobbed, trying to pull away.
“Yes you do, baby. Let me help you heal,” Alex said, continuing to press light kisses to her neck and cheek.
“Alex, please.” And he wasn’t sure if she was asking him to stop or to continue.
Alex didn’t stop. He turned her to him and continued to kiss her face and neck. Bianca didn’t pull away but she wouldn’t relax against him. Refusing to give up this time like he had for the last week, Alex pulled her to his chest, feeling the curves of her petite body press against him making his dick hard, and kissed her collarbone. He ran a hand up her t-shirt, finding her braless breast and squeezing gently. Bianca moaned and relaxed against him. Alex counted that as an invitation and continued his exploration of her body with his hands. He moved on to the other breast, palming her nipple and moving in slow circles. Bianca inhaled a sharp breath and pushed herself against his hand. Alex continued to suck on her neck, the scent of her driving him wild no matter how many times he had her.
“Alex,” Bianca breathed, the tone of her voice changed from before. This time she sounded like she wanted him and Alex took the opportunity to finally be able to make love to her to show her how much she really meant to him.
Gripping the hem of her t-shirt, Alex tugged it up over her head. Bianca complied, arching back as his head came down on her bare breast with his mouth. Alex groaned against her nipple, sucking fervently. His dick was so hard it was aching and he wanted her right now, but he wouldn’t rush. She needed him to go slowly and that’s exactly what he would do. Moving to her other breast and giving it the same attention, Bianca moaned loudly and threaded her hands through Alex’s hair, pulling him tighter to her. Alex pushed back long enough to shed his own shirt then he gathered Bianca in his arms and rushed up to the bedroom. Laying her down gently, Alex tore his pants down and tossed them away, taking his boxers with them. He then pulled off Bianca’s sweatpants and threw them away with the others. A low growl rumbled in his chest when he realized she was going commando and he wanted to devour her. Reminding himself to go slowly, Alex perched himself over top of Bianca on the bed, taking in the sight of her beautiful body. Although petite in stature, Bianca was curvy in all the places that mattered. Her chocolate brown skin glowed with arousal and Alex had the sudden need to taste her. Leaning down, he pressed kisses to her flat stomach, working his way down to where he really wanted to be. Alex pushed her knees apart, spreading her legs as far as they could go. He groaned again at the sight of her, wet and inviting. Trailing kisses down her thigh and back up again until he was at the center of her, Alex pressed a firm kiss to her wet pussy, and Bianca’s hips surged forward as she moaned loudly.
Slowly circling her clit with his tongue, Alex slipped two fingers inside of her, stretching her tight channel to accommodate him.
“Ah, Alex, yes,” Bianca groaned, thrusting her hips to meet his movements.
She tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him to her and Alex took that to mean she wanted more. He pushed his tongue inside of her, lapping up her arousal as she came undone around his tongue, screaming his name. Alex moved up Bianca’s body until he was fully settled between her thighs, his thick erection pressing at the entrance to her pussy. Before entering her, which was torture, Alex slammed his lips to Bianca’s as she lay regaining her breath from her intense orgasm. He pushed his tongue in between her lips and tangled it with hers at the same moment as he plunged into her. The sensation was intense and they both cried out at the contact. Alex began moving his hips in a steady rhythm, surging in and out of her as she pushed her hips to meet him. It began as a slow love making but soon turned frenzied. Bianca grabbed his ass, pulling him to her and he plunged deeper as she positioned her legs on his shoulders.
“God, Bianca, you feel so wet,” Alex moaned.
“Deeper and harder, Alex. I need to feel all of you,” Bianca breathed, arching to meet him again.
Taking the cue he flips her over. “Bend down,” he growls, pushing her back down towards the bed.
*****
Alex pushed inside of her again and Bianca cried out once more, the feel of his large dick deep inside of her making her orgasm build again. Bianca pushed back against him with her ass, needing more. Alex wasn’t just fucking her, he was filling the empty space inside of her that the loss of her baby created. She needed Alex right now like she needed oxygen to breathe and he was giving her just what would heal her.
“Yes, baby, deeper,” she moaned, pushing back against him even more.
Alex slammed into her and she gasped, the pain of his cock hitting her cervix and then the pleasure of it rubbing her g-spot causing her climax to rise. Three more thrusts and Bianca couldn’t bear it any longer.
“Come for me, baby,” Alex whispered in her ear.
That was all Bianca needed to let go. The orgasm hit her with force and she screamed, her muscles clenching and rippling around his thick and lengthening cock.
“Oh, God, Bianca,” Alex shouted, finding his own release.
Bianca collapsed on her stomach, Alex still inside of her, panting. She couldn’t move if she wanted to. Alex pulled out of her and she felt his weight lift from the bed. He returned seconds later with a wash cloth and it felt so good when he wiped her clean.
“Rest now, baby,” Alex said, pulling the blanket over her still naked body.
Bianca managed a weak nod and closed her eyes, drifting to sleep almost instantly.
*****
Alex watched Bianca from the doorway for a moment as she drifted off to sleep. Gathering his clothes he slipped from the room, making sure he had his phone with him when he went. He had several important phone calls to make and wanted to make sure he did it before she woke up.
Dialing the number from memory, Alex waited for the person to answer. “I’ll take the job,” he said without even saying hello.
“Good,” the man said, “I knew you’d come around.”
After a few more minutes of small talk and setting up the time for Alex to begin training he hung up. For the first time in three weeks Alex felt like everything was falling into place. Finally.
*****
Bianca woke up and it was getting dark, which in late October in the Northeast could mean it was five o’clock. She sat up, slightly disoriented from her long nap. Where was Alex? She hopped off of the bed and shivered, the floor was freezing. Remembering that she was naked, Bianca located her sweats and t-shirt and threw them on quickly followed by a fuzzy pair of socks. Finally warm, she went in search of Alex. She thought about their encounter earlier and smiled. Something had shifted inside of her and it left her feeling calm, and at peace. Maybe it was the way they connected again, for the first time since she lost the baby, which made her feel like she wasn’t so lost any longer. Whatever it was that helped Bianca, she knew she felt better. She would never stop grieving the loss of the life that she was never able to hold in her arms or watch grow up, but she suddenly felt like she would be okay.
As she approached the kitchen, Bianca could hear banging of pots and pans and muted cursing. Stifli
ng a laugh, she walked in. Alex was attempting to cook dinner. There was a pot of boiling water hissing as it splashed scolding water onto the flames, and something on a back burner smoking. Alex was rinsing another smaller pan in the sink; the contents were unidentifiable, and swearing under his breath.
“What’s for dinner?” Bianca asked holding a hand over her mouth so he wouldn’t see the smile that was spreading there.
Alex turned to her, embarrassment shining in his eyes. “I was trying to make spaghetti and meatballs. My sister assured me that it was a simple dish. Looks like I may have to call her back and tell her what she can do with that simple dish,” He said wiping sweat from his brow.
A small chuckle escaped Bianca’s lips and she slapped her hand over her mouth.
“This is funny to you?” Alex asked, feigning anger.
Bianca nodded, tears escaping her eyes. God, it felt great to laugh again.
“I’m sorry, babe. Is there anything I can help with?” She finally asked, approaching the stove with bewilderment. Nothing looked salvageable.
Alex shook his head. “I think it’s a good thing I have the take out menu to a great Italian restaurant,” he said, waving the menu in the air.
Bianca laughed again. “I think you’re right.”
Alex placed the order for their food and Bianca began to clean up the kitchen, trying to save her pan that had some sort of black charred substance stuck to the bottom.
“I’m sorry about your pans,” Alex said as they dug into their spaghetti and meatballs later that evening.
Bianca waved a hand in the air. “Don’t worry; I was due for a new set anyway.”
They ate the rest of the meal in comfortable silence. This was the best evening they had together since the miscarriage. Bianca almost cried with relief as they both cuddled under a blanket on the couch later that night, ready to watch a movie. All wasn’t lost and her relationship with Alex wasn’t beyond repair. Sighing, Bianca relaxed against Alex’s chest as the movie began. Finally, she felt at peace.