the window, her eyes fixed on something only she could
see and her mouth slightly parted but otherwise
motionless. A barely noticeable rivulet of saliva had
spilled from her parted lips and had run down her chin.
Kathy checked her pulse and felt relieved when she felt
a strong beat. She sat on the bed beside her and gently
caressed her hand. “Alexis, it’s me, Kathy. I know you
can hear me.”
Alexis didn’t move. Mike and Rose Howard walked
closer to the bed but Kathy raised her hand to silently
stop them from coming any closer.
“Alexis, I know what happened. I know that the
Lieutenant confirmed what Lily told you, and it is a lot
for you to comprehend. It is okay, Honey. I believe you.
I believed you when you called me and told me what
Lily said.” From the corner of her eye, Kathy saw
Alexis’s parents exchanging glances. “It is a huge
burden for you to carry alone, Alexis; please, let me help
you. I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me. Lily
doesn’t want to see you like this, does she…? And I
don’t want to see you like this. I know you and Lily are
together right now, but being with her is not your place
yet. Lily is dead, and she is lonely, but your place is here
in this world with your mom and dad, and with your
other friends.”
“Ms. Spencer,” Mike Howard’s voice sliced through
the air of the room, “may I have a word with you?”
“Of course.” Kathy gently let go of Alexis’s hand
and got up from the bed.
“Would you be so kind as to go downstairs with
me?”
Kathy nodded and followed him, and only when she
looked into his eyes did she notice an icy layer that
wasn’t there before. They rode the elevator down in
silence, and only when they walked out the main door
toward the restaurant, Mike Howard let his frustration
burst.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m sorry…I don’t think I understand. You are the
one who came looking for me.”
“Yes, I did; because I thought you could actually
help Alexis. I didn’t expect you to push her deeper into
the abyss of insanity.”
Kathy felt heat rising quickly to her cheeks. “I was helping Alexis! Alexis needs to have someone who
believes in her, someone who doesn’t think she is crazy.
And yes, I do believe her, and do you know why?
Yesterday Alexis called me very early in the morning to
tell me about a dream she had, and she explained that
she was terrified because Lily told her Tracey was
pregnant. Now, Lily, her imaginary friend as you call
her, told her this before any of us knew of Tracey’s
pregnancy. How – tell me how, Mr. Howard – could
Alexis have just imagined that? I am a rational woman,
but I am also open to the possibility that some things
cannot be explained. Alexis has a gift, and you and her
mother make it sound like a curse!”
Frustration cursed through Kathy’s body like an
electrical current, and she couldn’t fight back the tears
that suddenly poured from her eyes. “You have a little
girl up there who’s beginning to think her parents don’t
want her because she is crazy. She is shutting out the
outside world to stop it from delivering more pain. How
can you not see that?”
Mike Howard just stood without saying anything,
the expression in his eyes impossible to read.
“Please let me talk to Alexis, Mr. Howard, I know I
can get her out of her state.”
“How, Ms. Spencer? By feeding her fantasies? Or
are you actually saying that this Lily is a ghost?” Mike
Howard’s voice was swollen with anger and pain.
“I wish I could show you something, Mr. Howard. I
have some photos that I took at my house, and they all
show a very eerie image of Tracey’s face imposed over
the items I was trying to photograph….”
Mike Howard laughed nervously. “Are you hearing
yourself, Ms. Spencer? I have had enough of this. My
whole family has had enough of this. My wife has gone
through all she can take, and I would appreciate it if
from this day forward you stay away from us.” He
turned on his heels and left Kathy standing alone in the
parking lot. Her heart ached for Alexis, and in fact, her
heart ached for the whole family, but if they didn’t allow
her to talk to Alexis there was very little she could do.
She walked back to her car and wiped her eyes before
she started the engine and left to go home. As she drove
off, she looked up toward Alexis’s room, and when she
did, she thought she saw a little girl wearing piggy tails
waving goodbye.
#
Alexis had never seen a prettier park. She didn’t
know where Lily was taking her, but so far she loved the
area. There were flowers everywhere, of all shapes and
sizes, and in the distance she could hear children
squealing excitedly.
“Where are we, Lily?”
“I don’t know the name of the place, but it is nice,
isn’t it? There is a play area over there, right past that
hill. Come on, let’s go look at it!”
The two girls ran toward the green hill, their hair
sparkling like dew in sunshine, and their clothes flowing
in the soft breeze that lifted just a few seconds before.
“I have a surprise for you,” Lily said, “but I can’t
tell you what it is yet.”
“For me? I love surprises, Lily! You are the best
friend anyone could have in the whole wide world.”
They ran the short distance to the hill and suddenly
Alexis stopped to look around. She spun around herself
to take it all in – the puffy white clouds that looked like
cosmic cotton candy, the tall, majestic trees that seemed
perfect for a book and an apple, and the bright yellow
playground with three swings and spiral slides.
“Wow! This place is amazing! But where is
everybody?”
When Alexis looked at her friend, she was taken
aback by the sad look in her eyes.
“I don’t know. I can hear the other children too, but
I can never see them.”
“Oh Lily…is that why you are always so eager to
play?”
Lily smiled. “Yes. This beautiful playground is
lonely if I always have to play alone.”
“Where are your parents, Lily?”
“I’m not sure. I was told my mother sent me back
because she wasn’t ready for me. It was hard to accept
in the beginning, but I got used to it. That’s why I was
trying to help William when I saw him looking for his
mother. I swear, I tried! It was like he couldn’t even hear
me – he just kept on walking and crying.”
“But who takes care of you now? How do you do
things without adults helping you?”
“Oh, adults do help me sometimes. Not all the time,
but they do when I need them.”
>
“That doesn’t sound too bad then…at least you
don’t have people telling you that you are crazy.”
“Yes, I don’t have to worry about that. In fact, I
don’t have to worry about anything at all. And I have
warned you about telling your parents about me. If they
give you medicine, the door is going to close, and I
won’t be able to get through any more to see you.”
“I know, Lily. I do my best to keep it all to myself,
but sometimes it is really hard. Like, for example, when
you told me about Tracey’s baby…how could I not say
something?”
“It’s okay, Alexis. Now close your eyes and I will
show you your surprise.”
Alexis did as her friend asked and when she opened
her eyes again, Tracey was standing in front of her,
holding a tiny baby. Alexis wanted to jump and hug her,
but she was afraid to harm the small creature Tracey was
cradling in her arms. “Tracey! Is that really you?”
Tracey smiled. Her hair was no longer just blond
but a cascade of gold; her eyes were deep pools of blue
Alexis wanted to dive into. “Of course it’s me, silly. I
am not sure exactly where we are, but I like this place.
And I got to meet your friend Lily – we talk a bit from
time to time, when I am not too busy taking care of
Justin.”
Alexis couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. “Is Justin
the name of your baby?”
“Yes. Do you like it?”
“I do! I am going to be the best aunt ever. He is
going to love auntie Alexis.”
Lily’s soft voice broke into the conversation. “You
can’t play with the baby, Alexis. In fact, you are not
supposed to be here at all – you know that.”
“But, I thought you said you wanted me to stay,
Lily.”
“I do, but Uncle Jessie says you can’t stay.”
“Who’s Uncle Jessie?”
“He is one of the adults I was telling you about. He
said that you need to go back and help.”
“Help? Who?”
“He didn’t say. Uncle Jessie always talks in riddles,
it seems. But we can’t argue with him.”
“Well, okay then…but can I talk to Tracey a little
longer?”
Lily thought for a minute. “Okay, Alexis. You can’t
stay long, but I guess a little chat with your sister can’t
hurt anything.”
When they turned around, Tracey was gone.
“Oh? She was here just now…where did she go?”
Alexis asked.
“I’m not sure, but we can look for her after we play
for a while. Come on, let’s go.”
The two girls ran together toward the playground,
and Alexis never heard her mother calling her name.
Chapter 13
Mike Howard glimpsed at his wife sitting in the
chair beside him, and for the first time he fully realized
the toll this tragedy had taken on her. In the past, Rose
Howard always took pride in her appearance, but now
her face was free of make-up, her hair appeared dull,
and her silk shirt hung loosely on a body that had
become too thin in a matter of days. Her eyes were fixed
on the doctor in front of her, but Mike wasn’t sure if
Rose could actually hear him talk. Like Alexis, Rose
had withdrawn into herself, and Mike was quickly
losing the ability to reach out to her.
“I believe it is best for Alexis to be reintegrated into
a more familiar environment.” The voice of Dr. Brenner
spread through the small office, and Mike was grateful
for the distraction – worrying about Rose had become
his number one job these days.
“Then I will make arrangements today, Doctor. We
were planning on staying in the area for the length of the
investigation, but since our daughter’s body is ready to
be released for burial, we really don’t have a reason to
stay. We can stay in touch by phone, and if necessary I
can fly back here on my own. I believe it will also be
good for my wife to go home.”
The doctor took a good look at Rose and nodded. “I
agree with you. What she has been through is very hard
to process in a foreign environment.”
Rose didn’t respond, but rather sat motionless, her
eyes dark and empty. Her hands were clamped over her
lap and her face was so still that Dr. Brenner – a man in
his late fifties with a receding hairline and a salt-andpepper beard but still quite attractive in his own distinguished way – felt compelled to look at her
repeatedly to see if she had moved at all. Rose Howard’s
heart was still beating, and blood was still being pumped
through her body, but her soul had taken a leave of
absence the evening she saw her daughter’s body laying
lifeless on the gurney.
“What exactly is wrong with Alexis, Doctor?”
“In all honesty, Mr. Howard, I don’t know. Like
Mrs. Howard, Alexis seems to have found a sanctuary
within, and she has shut the door on the outside world. It
is a fairly common defense mechanism, but her refusal
to eat and drink can be extremely dangerous, especially
at such a young age. My advice is for Alexis to be taken
back home after she is released from this hospital, to see
if getting back to everything that’s familiar to her will
help her snap back. Of course, I would like to admit her
and keep her overnight just to make sure she is getting
the fluids and the nourishment she needs. Once you are
home, you can talk to her pediatrician and maybe get a
few referrals for mental health practitioners in your
area.”
Mike nodded, but Rose did not budge, her
detachment from reality keeping her safe in a cocoon of
denial.
“Of course, Doctor. Whatever you think is best for
her.”
“Is Mrs. Howard eating and drinking?”
“Yes. Not as much as she should, unfortunately, but
it is to be expected I suppose.”
Doctor Brenner nodded and stood up, extending his
hand to shake Mike’s as he pushed back his chair. “Very
well, then. I will instruct the nurse to get Alexis into a
room and to start an intravenous drip. She will also
bring you any paperwork you need to fill out.”
“Thank you, doctor.” Mike shook the other man’s
hand, glad for the direct contact with a human being.
Doctor Brenner stood by the door of his office to
see the Howards out, and felt his heart tighten as he
watched Rose leaning on her husband for support.
Mike held Rose’s hand as they walked toward the
triage area where Alexis was being monitored by a
nurse, and he helped her sit on the chair near the bed.
“Stay here Sweetheart. Can I get you something to
drink? Coffee? Tea?”
Rose just shook her head but didn’t speak, and her
eyes filled with tears as she focused on Alexis’s small
body being swallowed by a white sheet on the large bed.
She wept softly and reached out for her daughter’s hand,
then brought the tiny hand to her lips and kissed it
tenderly. “Alexis, please come back to me. I can’t lose
you too.”
Mike felt his heart shatter in his chest from the
impact of Rose’s words, and he swallowed hard to push
back his own tears. He placed his hand on Rose’s
shoulder and squeezed it gently. “She will come back,
Rose. You heard Dr. Brenner – being home, surrounded
by everything she loves, will help her. I am going to call
the funeral home and the Lieutenant right now, and try
to arrange everything by tonight. Hopefully they will
release Alexis tomorrow and then we will leave as soon
as possible. There is nothing for us to do here right now,
and our daughter needs to go home.”
For the first time since acknowledging Tracey’s
death, Rose’s eyes filled with resolve. The fog that had
kept her shielded from absorbing the truth had lifted.
She lost one daughter, and she would have to bear the
weight of that pain the rest of her life, but right now she
needed to pull herself together for Alexis. “Go back to
the hotel, Mike, and work on getting us back home. I
will stay here with Alexis.”
In the last few weeks, Mike had felt completely
alone; now, he and Rose were a team again. The relief
he felt from Rose’s unexpected reaction flooded his
body and tears ran freely down his face. He didn’t even
bother wiping them away and, instead, he hugged his
wife and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.
“I’m sorry, Mike.”
“What are you sorry for, Love?”
“I’m sorry I let self-pity get in the way. Neither you
nor Alexis deserved that. I feel terrible that I got so
wrapped up in my own feelings that I forgot how hard
things were for the two of you.”
“You lost a child, Rose. Nobody can fault you for
that.”
“You’re right, but I have another child, Mike – one
who is alive; who’s suffering from losing her sister and
is surely confused about a lot of things. It is up to me to
help her through this.”
Mike nodded. “It’s up to us, Rose. And I am glad we
found out that talking to that woman was only making
things worse.”
Rose didn’t respond.
“Hopefully Dr. Brenner is right,” Mike continued,
his energy renewed by his wife’s response, “and Alexis
will shift back to her old self once she is exposed to
familiar things in her own environment.”
Killer in Sight (A Tom Lackey Mystery) Page 17