friend die in front of them and move forward as if
nothing had happened. Both he and Parker knew that
dying on the line of duty was a threat that loomed over
their heads anytime they went in to work, but
intellectually processing the risk didn’t lessen the impact
of such a profound and scarring loss. Parker was a
family man and very involved with his daughter; Tom
felt a tight squeeze around his chest when he thought of
how his daughter would take his untimely death. Was it
worth it? Was a job worth the life of a good man? He
thought about Kathy and how she would feel if he had
died instead of Parker, and he knew that even if she
never asked she would be immensely relieved if he quit
his job as a police officer. It was definitely something to
think about. And of course, he was proud of her – she
was a superb photographer, and this was her time to
shine. He wanted to support her and yet he was terrified
at the prospect of walking away from a profession he
merged with for so long. He closed his eyes and saw
Parker, his old pal, the friend who had laid his life on the
line for him, and he wished Parker could have walked
away too. It was too late for Parker, but not for him, and
as Kathy came back outside carrying two cups of coffee
he felt a slight twinge of hope breaking free from its
prison of guilt and pain -- maybe a radical life change
was just what the doctor ordered.
#
Mary Townsend walked to the visiting room and sat
across the glass from Shannon. When she first entered,
Shannon could barely recognize her – she looked
smaller than how she remembered her, and her hair was
slightly longer and more feminine; but the thing about
her that kept Shannon in a spell was her eyes; they were
no longer filled with anger, and for the first time in her
life Mary looked like a lost little girl.
“Hi Shannon…” Mary was surprised to see her, “I
didn’t know you were out of the hospital.”
“I wasn’t. I checked myself out this morning when
Detective Quince came by to see me and told me what
happened. How are you Mary?”
Mary shut her eyes for a moment and tears escaped
them. “I am fine. I am finally free from everything – I
am free from my mother, but most of all I am free from
myself and from anger, and I am happy that you no
longer need to live in fear of me. I cannot tell you how
sorry I am, Shannon. Believe me when I say that I love
you and that every time I scared you I hated myself for
it but couldn’t help it. I had no control over who loved
me or left me when I was a child, and I had no power
against the man who raped me repeatedly when I was no
more than a little girl – I wasn’t going to let anyone be
in charge again, and I couldn’t bear the thought of being
abandoned by anyone else. There is something else I
need to share with you…something you will probably
find sick and completely twisted. You look a lot like my
mother did at your age, so when you loved me I felt like
she was loving me and I was a happy child again; when
you resisted my attention I felt like my mother was
abandoning me all over. Do you remember the night we
met your friend from high school? I know you had no
interest in her, but just seeing you so captivated by her
tales of times gone by made me feel like second option
– I was second option to other priorities where my
mother was concerned. I never meant to hurt you
Shannon. I do love you, and if I never see the light of
day out this place again, I wish you a happy life. Find
someone who can treat you right and can respect you for
the beautiful person you are.”
Mary turned her face away and quickly wiped the
tears away. Shannon was sobbing openly, her heart
breaking for a friend who had inflicted her own pain on
her, yes, but had also avenged her twice.
“Maybe you won’t be convicted, Mary. When the
jury hears what happened they will probably
understand.”
Mary smiled through her tears. “No, Shannon, they
won’t. To them I will look like a monster with no
conscience who committed the ultimate crime, and
maybe I am just that, but I guess I will have to wait for
God to judge my actions. I hated her, Shannon. I hated
her with everything I had in me; I blamed her for
everything that happened to me and to my brother Jack.
I just hope that he can move on now, and be free from
the ghosts that haunted both of us for a long time.”
“I will find Jack, Mary, and talk to him. I promise
you that no matter what happens to you, I will look out
for him.”
Mary nodded, tears running freely down her face.
“Thank you Shannon. You’re a good girl. I hope that
some day you will be able to forgive me for the pain
I’ve caused you and you will be my friend. I never
meant to hurt you – I just didn’t know how to love you.”
“I know, Mary, and I have already forgiven you. As
far as being your friend, you will never have to worry
about being abandoned again.”
Shannon lifted her hand and placed it on the glass,
and Mary raised hers to touch it. They couldn’t
physically feel each other’s touch, but for the first time
they were truly connected through the heart.
#
Brad Johnson and Erin Winthrow got out of her
gold Toyota Camry and hugged. She opened the back
door of the car and let out her children, and she lovingly
reminded Hannah – the younger of them – to be careful
about the flowers. Jimmy filed out of the car behind his
sister and fussed at her for getting out too slowly.
“Be patient, Jimmy,” asked him smiling, “Hannah is
trying to make sure the flowers don’t break.”
“But why do we need to carry flowers to this park? I
don’t see a playground anywhere – not even a swing
set!”
Brad laughed and ruffled the little boy’s hair. Jimmy
reminded him a lot about himself at that age, and he
silently pledged to be there for him as he grew up. He
was aware that Jimmy already had a father, and he was
okay with taking any scrap of time with him that he
could; he didn’t want to steal the spotlight, but he hoped
that Jimmy would come to love him some day. Erin
answered Jimmy’s question in a calm and firm voice
that instantly tamed the little rebel inside of her tiny son.
“We are bringing these flowers to honor the memory of
a friend. Her name was Tracey, and she died not too
long ago, just beyond those trees. The park is allowing
us to place a small cross marker there and the flowers,
so that’s what we are going to do now. I expect you to
be at your best behavior when we approach the place
where she became an angel; are we clear, Mr. Jimmy?”
Jimmy stuck his hands in the po
ckets of his red
shorts and shifted on his feet while he looked down at
his scraped knees. “Okay Mom. I promise, but I still
think we should have taken the flowers to a park that
had a play area; this Ms. Tracey would have liked it
better.”
Erin smiled and they all walked toward the trail
leading into the woods. When they reached the area
where Tracey was found – still marked by a piece of
yellow tape left behind after the police wrapped the
investigation – they stood around solemnly, Hannah
proudly holding the flowers, Jimmy kicking a small
pebble with his shoe and Brad and Erin closing their
eyes to wish Tracey a happier journey than the one she
left behind. Erin took the flowers from Hannah and
handed them to Brad, who laid them on the ground
while blowing a kiss into the air. “Goodbye Tracey. Our
paths only crossed for a short while, and not in the
healthiest of ways, but you were a good person and I
will miss you. Rest in peace, Sweetheart, and awe the
angels with the songs humans weren’t fortunate enough
to hear.”
Erin wiped tears and arched her brow as she looked
at Brad. “Songs?”
“Tracey loved to sing. She could play guitar and her
voice really was beautiful. She wrote a few songs that
are probably still at her apartment.”
“Wow, that’s nice…maybe we should go look for
them, Brad, and have them framed for her family.”
Brad looked at Erin with adoration in his eyes. “I
have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I must have
done something right to deserve you. I have made a
decision, Erin, and I was going to tell you tonight over
dinner, but I might as well tell you now. I have a
problem with addiction, and no matter how hard I try on
my own, I don’t think I can kick it, but while I was in
jail I spoke with a counselor who told me of a local
program I can sign up for. The program lasts for thirty
days, and their rate of success is impressive. If you are
okay with it, I will check myself in tomorrow, and by
next month we can really start a new life, free from the
past and from anything else that can get in the way. I
don’t think I will have a job when I get out, but I will
find something else. I promise you right now, in front of
Tracey’s memorial that I will make a good life for us.”
“Oh Brad…of course I am okay with it! I love you
so much!”
“Good then, we can go home, after I ask you one
final thing.”
“Yes? What is it?”
Brad got on one knee and took a small box out of
the pocket of his shorts. He opened it in front of Erin to
show a tiny diamond that even in its small size captured
some of the sunlight filtering through the trees and
sparkled in colors of fiery red and cool blue. “This is
only a promise ring, Erin, because without a job it is all
I can buy at the moment, but I promise you that if you
accept to be my wife some day, I will honor you and
love you and I will get you a ring much prettier than this
one.”
“Oh my goodness, Brad….of course I accept…I…I
didn’t expect this. I don’t know what to say.”
“We have a long road ahead of us, Erin. You will
need to get a divorce, and we might be in for a nasty
custody case, but if you can wait for me for one month, I
promise I will never leave your side again.” He turned
toward the children and was happy to see they didn’t
mind to make eye contact with him. “I promise you both
that I will never stand in the way between you and your
daddy. I love your mommy, but your mommy and daddy
were already not happy together before I came along. I
will support anything you choose in life, and I will be
content just to be there for you if you need me.”
Hannah appeared a bit surprised but he didn’t detect
any resentment in her eyes. Jimmy looked for more
pebbles to kick and Brad gently touched his shoulders.
“Did you understand what I said, Jimmy?”
“Yeah, I did. I only have one question. Does your
house have a playground?”
“Not yet, Jimmy, but I will build one just for you.”
They all laughed together, and hugged, before
saying goodbye to Tracey and walking back to the car. A
light breeze blew through the trees and gently ruffled the
leaves, just as a songbird flew on a nearby branch and
delivered a soulful melody. Jimmy stopped on his track
and turned around, his eyes as big as saucers. “Did you
hear it, Mom? Maybe that was Miss Tracey singing one
of her songs.”
Chapter 23
Kathy rubbed Petey’s silky fur while the kitten
knitted her abdomen. She was glad to have worn a pair
of jeans rather than the light cotton skirt she had planned
to wear initially, since Petey’s nails would have gone
right through the thin material of the skirt.
“So, what do you think of Petey, Kathy? Do you
like him?”
“He is adorable, Alexis. I am sure he makes a
wonderful playmate.”
“Yeah…I don’t have Lily anymore, you know?”
“Oh? Where did Lily go?”
“She said she had to leave but she would always
watch over me. I didn’t understand what she meant, but
she left before I could ask her.”
“Sometimes, people only cross our lives for a short
while, Alexis, but the time we have with them is
priceless. Lily was a good friend to you, and she was a
good friend to me. She helped us both and I think we
will always remember her with love. As long as you
keep someone in your heart, they will always be alive –
you won’t be able to see them with your eyes, but if you
remember the good times you had together, they are
right there, always waiting for you. Love and friendship
don’t know boundaries of time or space.”
Alexis nodded, and swallowed a knot in her throat
to stop herself from crying. Petey crawled up to Kathy’s
neck, and arranged his tiny body over her shoulder for a
quick nap. His warm fur, combined with the softest
purring sound Kathy ever remembered hearing, came
together to form a powerful cocktail of instant peace.
Kathy picked him up as gently as she could and placed
him on the cushion beside her; Petey stretched and his
whiskers twitched before he fell back into the type of
deep sleep only a kitten could fall into. Kathy stood up
and ran her hand over Alexis’s hair.
“Why don’t you rub Petey for a little while, Alexis?
I am going inside for a second to see if your mom needs
help with dinner.”
She walked into the kitchen where Rose was busy
stirring something that smelled delicious. Kathy and
Tom hadn’t had anything to eat since they first arrived at
the airport this morning, and she was starving. Rose saw
her coming in and smiled i
n her direction while she
continued stirring.
“Thank you so much for coming, Kathy. I know
Alexis is on a cloud right now. She couldn’t wait to
show you Petey.”
“I am glad you invited us, Rose. Tom has been
having a hard time the last week, and I am confident that
a change of atmosphere is going to be good for him.”
“He almost got killed….Jesus…that woman was
crazy.”
“Yes, she was. It is very sad to know what led her to
madness.”
Rose’s eyes filled with tears. “I understand her a
little, you know? When I first found out about Tracey’s
death, I locked myself into my own darkness, and I was
not willing to get out of it until I realized that my other
child needed me. Yvonne lost both of her children, so
she remained trapped into her own pain.”
Kathy nodded. “I can’t even wrap my mind around
a loss so deeply devastating. I just wish she could have
gotten help on time. Now one of her children is in jail
and the other one is missing.”
“He is not missing, Kathy. He was released by the
authorities here in St. Louis and he called us. He
apologized for his behavior and asked if he could bring
flowers on Tracey’s grave – we said yes.”
“Poor guy…”
“I hope he will seek help to banish the ghosts of his
past. Shannon said that she is going to help him find a
good therapist.”
“You talked to her?”
“Yes. She is in town, meeting Jack for dinner as we
speak. She is staying with us for a few days.”
“If Tom and I don’t have a chance to see her before
we go back home, please do tell her that we wish her the
best.”
“I will. Oh, and Kathy…thank you for being there
for Alexis. I know Mike already said it, but I want to let
you know how much I appreciate you.”
“It was my pleasure, Rose. In time, your family will
heal, and you all will be able to smile again together for
the wonderful photos Alexis will take. I haven’t told her
yet, but I have a gift for her – a camera like the one I
carry around, which she liked very much.”
“Oh Kathy…thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. We’ll give it to her after dinner.”
“It won’t be long then. Dinner is ready.”
They walked out of the kitchen together, Rose
carrying the pot of soup she prepared and Kathy
Killer in Sight (A Tom Lackey Mystery) Page 32