“Impressed is more like it.”
“I went to college before enlisting because I wanted to get it out of the way. It also allowed me to become an officer. I thought if I ever went back to studying I’d possibly do a masters. I did computer science and business. So I can write codes for anything and do a bunch of crazy technical stuff.”
“Did you use it in the Marines?”
“Yeah, big time. I was an intelligence analyst at the start before my field duty became more involved. My friend is trying to get me to become a cop so I can join the intelligence unit.” He chuckles and picks up one of the folders.
“Would you?”
He looks over to me and there’s something in his stare that dims. I almost feel like I’ve asked him something I shouldn’t have.
“I don’t know. It’s not like the Marines. There’s nothing like it.”
“Well you seem to be good with this stuff,” I state, and move closer to him to start working on a pile of folders.
“Gets boring after a while if you’re not careful.”
“I can imagine. For me the worst part of my job is the research. It’s gonna sound weird but I hate reading too much.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “You’re kidding. I thought doctors get a kick out of anything like that.”
“Not all. I’m definitely not one of them. There was a time when there was no way you’d catch me quoting anybody’s research for anything. I used to drive Mac insane. He’d wonder how I made it so far. He even said it to me once when he threw a tantrum.”
He laughs and the sound seeps into me. “How did you make it this far?”
“I have my own system. I take time and read what I need to. Back in college they asked us to read a lot, and I get it. You’re meant to. But I just read for the topics I was studying. Now I go over my patients’ notes and if there’s stuff that needs digging a little deeper, then I do research.”
“Good plan…” He smiles wide, revealing perfect white teeth. “Look at us talking like a bunch of regular folks. You not thinking I’m a burglar is good.”
“Yes, same as you not thinking I’m sleeping with your uncle. Of all the things, why would you think that?”
“You were the one who was acting suspicious. What else was I supposed to think?”
“Not that.” It was simple.
“Okay, I guess I’ll admit that was crazy, but it’s not as bad as you pretending you don’t remember anything from the other night.” He stares long and hard at me.
My lips part and I try to think of something to say but can’t think of anything other than to continue the pretense.
“What? No, I actually can’t remember one thing,” I lie, and instantly become aware that he’s switched on me. First we were indeed talking like normal folks then he changed back into himself. Got me all comfortable in our conversation on the files and what we studied, and I let my guard down.
“Really? Nothing at all? That was one hell of a night and you must have had to drink all kinds of shit to have such terrible amnesia, Doctor.”
“I remember getting into town and then waking up at Mac’s the next day,” I continue to lie. Pretty sure I just reserved my one-way ticket to hell with no return flight, because he actually helped me massively and I’m here denying remembering because I can’t believe I kissed him.
I don’t know why the hell I would do something like that when we’d just been talking about Jack.
What Dylan said was so sweet and meaningful and I think in my drunken state my mind made me do the thing I wanted to do the most to show him that what he said meant a lot to me. He won’t understand that. At least I don’t think so, and I’ll admit that there’s that thing I’ve been denying too about him. The fact that like every other woman here, I’ve fallen under his spell.
He narrows his eyes at me and continues to stare me down.
“Nothing in between at all?” he prods.
“No.” I swallow hard and he steps closer to me. I step back. After another step I back right into the wall.
He places his hands on either side of me, blocking my escape, and my heart stills.
What is he going to do?
I press my head back against the wall when he leans in close and lingers right there. Inches away. A kiss away. So close our lips should meet.
The force that compels them to meet is like wild electricity. It’s so wild I almost believe I could touch it and it would burn me.
Heat flushes straight through my body when he moves to my ear. His warm breath tickles my skin. “Should I remind you?” he breathes.
I turn my face to him and our noses brush against each other.
It’s enough to wipe my brain clean.
I remember I kissed him that night, but I don’t remember how it felt.
The corners of his lips arch with mischief. “Answer the question, Dr. Lincoln.”
His hand slides up my cheek. I can’t help it.
“Yes.”
That smile of his widens, dancing across his sensual lips, and he inches closer, closing the space between our lips by slanting his mouth over mine.
Wild fire instantly courses through me.
Fire fueled with electricity designed to scorch and burn from the inside out. The kind of fire you know you can’t put out.
It consumes me and takes me whole, enticing me to do what I want to do. Touch him and taste him.
My hands feel up the hard walls of his chest I’ve been dying to touch and he pulls me closer, flush against him to deepen the kiss, and angles my face so that he can kiss me harder.
Our tongues tangle at the same time and the kiss turns hungry. Then it rises to greed, need, and I feel myself tugging on his shirt while he pulls me even closer. So close I feel the hardness of his arousal pressing into my stomach.
It arouses me too. It drives me wild that I can make a man like him so aroused for me.
We kiss and I forget everything.
Nothing matters, and somehow I feel free. Freedom pure and true takes me. Freedom from grief. Freedom from the darkness. Then it stops when he pulls away,
and reality creeps back in slowly.
That wild, sexy smirk spreads across his face. The smile now says he has me exactly where he wants me.
Caught in a game, or a trap. I can’t tell which yet.
“Miss Thing, you know you shouldn’t kiss me like that if you want me to believe you can’t stand me. I trust that you remember everything you need to.”
I’m about to answer when my pager goes off.
“I have to go,” I tell him.
He answers with a wide smile and a spark in his eyes.
On shaky legs I leave him, my skin still buzzing and tingling from the sensational feeling of the kiss.
My whole body is on fire and my head feels light.
What do I do now?
I kissed Dylan and I want more.
I actually want more.
Dylan
I can’t get that damn kiss out of my head.
Not the one yesterday. No, not that one. It’s the other one.
The kiss yesterday wasn’t a kiss. It was the prelude call to mate forever.
What I can’t get out of my head is the first kiss.
I haven’t been able to all week. She stays in my head and I know every time she looks or speaks to me that she damn well remembers too. It is the reason for her denial. The thing about it is she kissed me that time because she wanted to.
That’s the other thing about drunk people. They tend to lack the strength to resist their inner desires.
Yesterday was something else. Neither of us were under the influence of anything besides need and wild desire.
I didn’t intend to kiss her at first, but the wild desire took me straight to those lips of hers I’ve been daydreaming about since getting home.
I’m thinking of her now as Paul and I do sit-ups in the park. He’s talking and I should be listening, but I can’t get the sexy as fuck doctor out of
my head.
Her pouty mouth. Those lips on mine. They need to be around my cock. Now that would be something to remember.
Paul punches me hard in my arm, snapping me out of my daze. I stop mid lift to glower at him.
“Geez what the hell?” I frown.
“I was going to ask you the same thing. I was talking about going out with the guys next week. Sailing or something.” Paul chuckles.
“Oh, yes. I’m in. Whatever works, I’m good.”
Paul shakes his head at me and rests his elbow on his knee. “Which woman is on your mind this time?” He grins.
This is the problem with hanging out with people who know you. They know too much. The last time we spoke about Abby I was ranting about the coffee cup she threw at me. I told him she was crazy.
Now I’ve done a full…I don’t even know, but what I do know is that I want her.
“It’s cool,” I decide to say, and he smirks.
“Like fuck…you’re not doing that avoidance tactic, and definitely not to me. You only zone out like that when you have a woman on your mind. Remember last time you were home? You spent the whole weekend with that redhead you met in the bar.”
“Oh yeah,” I sigh. I think back and can’t deny I had a good time with her.
It was a great time. We were both looking to fuck around because neither of us were going to be in town that long. I was here for five days. I spent two of those with her. My mom was so mad, but of course I never told her what I was actually doing. I’m sure she at least suspected what I was up to.
Paul laughs now. “So who is it?”
“Trust me, it’s all good. I think my situation is getting to my head.” Must be that because it’s the only explanation for my new obsession with a woman who hit me with a frying pan, slapped me, then tried to finish me off by throwing her cup at me.
Paul gasps then starts laughing hard. “Holy fuck, it’s the crazy doctor isn’t it?”
My shoulders slump. Here again is another downside to hanging out with people who know you.
“Don’t you dare lie,” he warns.
“Okay, it is.”
“I knew it. It was the way you described her.”
“I said she was crazy.”
“You said she was a crazy doctor with big tits and an ass you could get lost in. Did you sleep with her?”
My mind, crazy and racing ahead, wanted to say not yet, but I thought better of it.
“No. I won’t be.”
As much as I like Abby, she is too close to Mac. A kiss here and there may be okay but anything more maybe not so much. Besides, getting involved with a woman who was hung up on her dead boyfriend was like walking into more shit I didn’t need.
When she told me what happened I felt sorry for her. I wanted to ask how he died but the fact that I wasn’t told that was enough to know not to ask.
Paul shakes his head in disbelief. “I’d bet you anything you change your mind. I know you. She’s all you’ve been talking about since you got back. You won’t just see a woman you’re interested in and leave it like that.”
I rise to my feet. “Watch me. I know when to leave the honey pot alone.”
He gets up too. “Like fuck you do. We’ve been friends for too many years Dylan. I can tell what you’re gonna do before you do it.”
That is true, and annoys the hell out of me.
“Well, we’ll see won’t we. Race you to the post.” I point ahead. We’re doing circuit training. We previously jogged around the park, then stopped for sit-ups and crunches, now it is time to get back on to something fast. I want to push myself today.
“You’re on!” he agrees, and we both take off.
My leg has been feeling good all week. Stronger and faster. I’ve had two sessions of physical therapy, which worked wonders. It was like the exercises stimulated the muscle and the area was starting to feel like it was coming back, getting to how it used to be.
Paul is about to pass me by so I amp up my speed, pushing harder and harder. Then something gives.
It’s like the ground shifts beneath me, and I stumble and fall.
Fuck.
I just managed to put out my hand to stop myself from doing any more damage but my left leg is frozen in pain. Pain shoots right through me.
Paul rushes to me and crouches down.
“Dylan are you okay?” he asks, panic in his eyes.
I shake my head.
I’m not okay. And something in this moment tells me I won’t be the way I want to be ever again.
Mac meets me at the hospital and we go in for x-rays.
With the extent of the pain I feel I’m sure I broke my leg. The pain is that intense.
The x-rays showed nothing broken but suggest the nerve has been irritated.
I get confirmation of that when the doctor checks my leg and all I feel is burning. While I can move my leg, I have no feeling where I should. Then when my balance is tested I can’t do anything on that side. Can’t stand on my toes, can’t balance on one leg to do a hamstring pull, can’t do shit.
I am so pissed by the time we get home that I think I’m going to explode.
We go into the living room. Mac sits before me in one of the wooden chairs and I sulk against the sofa.
It is the same sofa Abby slept on. It still smells like her, like wild strawberries and honey. The distraction is the only thing keeping me buoyant because I actually feel like I might slip into the hell of reality. What it actually holds for me.
I’m not stupid, and I won’t be stupid about this either.
I was running. Not doing anything strenuous really. Prior to that, the jog around the park would have been a walk in the park. A literal walk in the park. I used to start my days with half marathons. Today I doubted I even did a full 2k run. That last exertion of my energy wasn’t even me at fifty percent, and look what happened.
“Dylan,” Mac says, his voice filled with concern.
We haven’t spoken since we left the hospital, but the silence said everything.
“Mac, I’m done aren’t I? I think my days of being a marine are over.”
He swallows hard and presses his lips together. “Look son, I’m gonna tell you the same thing I tell my patients,” he answers. I guess it fits because I’m basically a patient. “We keep trying until we know there’s nothing left to try. You have a few more months. Much can be done in that time, but…maybe it can’t be. We have to factor in both. Give it a shot but bear in mind that maybe you should just be grateful you have your life.”
I nod, agreeing. He’s said that before. I should be grateful for my life.
I am. There’s not one day that goes by that I’m not grateful.
It’s just…I want the life I worked so hard for.
It already feels like the dream is gone.
Abby
The vibrant music at the sports bar envelopes me as the music changes to a smooth club mix blending a few of Maroon 5’s songs together. They’re my favorite band so I take a moment to enjoy the melody as if flows around me.
I’m out with the girls tonight. Me, Tania, and Celine.
We needed some down time and this is what we normally do at least once a month.
We usually tend to gravitate here. It’s perfect if you want to dance or play pool.
We’ve all been working hard so the need to just go out and let our hair down was on the table. I’ve always loved hanging out with them.
Tonight, though, I have to admit I do feel different. This is the first time in a while that we’ve been out, and I feel like I can have fun with my friends.
I won’t deny that it’s down to a certain guy even though I haven’t seen him at work since last week.
I avoided Dylan for the rest of the day that we kissed, then came back Monday thinking he would be there, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t there yesterday either, or today. And there are still several boxes left to be sorted out.
I stopped looking out for him today when I started feeling fool
ish and definitely in need of getting my act together.
I pick up my drink and smile when Celine starts talking about her date last night.
We’ve been sitting in the little booth area near the pool table for about half an hour listening to her. Or, rather, trying to listen to her because the music alternates between volumes. It’s loud when the song starts playing then fades out to the dance floor below us.
“The man was gorgeous but shit, he kept talking nonstop about all his accomplishments,” Celine complains. The guy she’s telling us about is an entertainment lawyer who apparently went to Harvard, and is basically a genius who only works with celebs. “I can’t be with somebody like that. It’s annoying.”
“But you said he was hot. Maybe he doesn’t have to talk.” Tania starts laughing.
“The sex was great but the rest of him was a no-go for me,” Celine says in a nonchalant manner, and Tania and I both gasp because that was her first date with the guy. Celine is a no-kissing-on-the-first-date kind of girl. So of course I’m shocked that she’s jumped from A and landed on Z already.
“You slept with him?” Tania asks with wide eyes.
Celine laughs. “I just thought I’d try something new, so when he asked me to go home with him I said yes.”
I still have my mouth open in sheer surprise. I’ve never done that. I don’t think I could.
These two though yes…now that Celine has joined the dark side.
Even though I met them with Jack and they knew we’d been joined at the hip since we were twelve, they found it hard to believe I’d only ever been with him.
I told them after he died when they were trying to get me back out there. That was hard too.
That part. Sleeping with someone who wasn’t him. In the three years he’s been gone I’ve only been with two different guys. The last was of course Wade and, we hadn’t been together like that in close to a month. Not since before we went sailing. It was possibly why he was trying to get me to go away for the weekend. The fact that we both had busy lives got in the way. But it probably helped to put a stop to a relationship that would be going nowhere fast.
I take another sip of my drink and it tickles the back of my throat. We all have virgin cocktails because it’s a work night and we’re in early tomorrow. As in seven.
Dylan Page 9