by Megan Lowe
“Why?” he asks suspiciously.
“Because you’re my brother and I love you.”
“You want something,” he accuses, his eyes narrowed.
I sigh. “I do. I want to apologise for what happened yesterday. We both said some things that I think, I hope we didn’t mean, and this is my way of saying I’m sorry.” He seems to accept my explanation and nods. I smile. “Good. Um, since you’re standing there, would you mind setting the table?”
There’s an uncomfortable silence at dinner. Josh, despite saying otherwise, is still suspicious of my motives, and Grandpa doesn’t approve of my relationship with Mav. At the moment though, that’s a side issue; I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
I quickly clean up then head upstairs to Josh’s room. “Can I come in?” I ask, standing in the doorway.
He chucks the magazine he was reading to the side. “Sure.” He shrugs.
I sit beside him on the bed. “So, I wanted to talk a little bit about some of what we said last night,” I say tentatively. He sighs. “Look,” I add before he can say anything, “I know you’re probably thinking I sound like a broken record, but we said a lot of stuff last night, Josh, some of it quite upsetting.”
“I know, my cheek is still sore,” he says, rubbing the side of his face.
“I won’t apologise for slapping you. What you said was incredibly hurtful, but I do want to talk about why you said the things you did.”
He blows out a breath. “You’re not going to let this rest, are you?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m not. I just don’t understand it, Josh. You and Mav used to be so close, and then all of a sudden you want nothing to do with him? What changed?”
“Let me ask this instead,” he says, turning to face me. “When you first saw Mav you thought he was nothing more than a tattooed thug, right? Out to get in your pants and then leave you hanging, right?” I nod, unsure of where he’s going with this. “So what changed for you? How did he change your mind?”
“I got to know him. I saw what he did when Connor came round here threatening you. I knew a guy who was only interested in sleeping with me wouldn’t go to those lengths and pay such a massive amount.”
“Do you know that for sure?”
“As sure as I can be. I still don’t know where this is coming from, Josh. Mav loves me. We’ve been together for five months. Hell, it took him half that long to finally agree to sleep with me, and even then I practically had to beg him.” I’m not entirely comfortable sharing details of my sex life with my brother, but if this is what gets him to see what a good guy Mav is, then I’ll do it.
“Are you sure it wasn’t a game? Some sick way of him getting pleasure by denying you?” he asks.
“He loves me, Josh. That’s not a game,” I tell him.
“But can you be sure?”
“Can anyone be sure about anything?” I ask.
“So you’re not sure about him.”
“You’re twisting my words.”
He grabs one of my hands, sandwiching it between both of his. “What happens when he gets tired and leaves you?”
I try to pull my hand back, but he holds on tighter. “Who says he’s going to leave me?”
“Don’t be a fool, Aubrey. You know what guys like him are like.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t. I’ve never been with a guy like Mav. He’s kind and gentle and sweet, plus, he loves me, Josh, and I love him,” I say. It’s true.
“You’ve been sucked into his web and one day he will chew you up and spit you out. We all know it.”
“Who’s we?” I ask, the pieces starting to come together.
“Me and Grandpa.”
“You and Grandpa! How the hell did that happen?” I ask.
“He explained a few things to me, that’s all.”
I can feel my blood pressure rising. “And what were these things?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“Just that I got you into this mess, and now I’m trying to get you out of it.”
That’s it, I’m done. I spring off the bed. “Like Mav got you out of your mess with Connor?” I spit.
“I never asked him to do that,” Josh retorts angrily.
“You didn’t have to. He did it out of the goodness of his heart.”
He scoffs. “He did it to get in your pants. And it worked, didn’t it?”
I’m going to let that slide, because I’ve finally got Josh on topic. “I didn’t hear you complain when he was saving your bacon. Didn’t hear an offer to pay him back either,” I say.
“Why would I offer to pay him back when you’re obviously working off my debt for me?”
I want to kill him. I want to tear every limb from his body and set him on fire. Tears pool in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I won’t let him, this person I’ve known for literally all of my life, get the better of me. Steeling myself, I square my shoulders. “You know,” I say with deadly calm, “I wonder what else Mav and I are working off for you.”
“I told you, I’m not gambling again,” he grits out.
“Say I don’t believe you. Say I think you’ve gotten yourself in an even bigger mess than before. Mav’s bike would square away a whole lot of debt. Well, one would assume it would,” I say casually.
“What do you mean ‘assume it would’? It’s worth a hundred grand.” He’s sweating now, and I know he’s worried.
“The bike is worth a hundred grand, but only in conjunction with Mav. Everything on that bike is custom made for him. Without him it’s just a pretty bike that someone else uses for tricks. It’s basically worthless.” I turn to leave. “But that’s not a problem for you, is it? Because, as you’ve told me several times, you’re not gambling again,” I toss over my shoulder. I don’t need to see my brother’s expression to know he knows he fucked up.
Chapter 27
Josh
Holy fuck. I am so fucking fucked. If Connor finds out Mav’s bike is worthless, he’s going to come after me and it’s not going to be good. Oh fuck. But it’ll take him a while to figure that out, right? I mean, it’s not like he can just wheel the bike up to Cash Converters and say “gimme money.” No, that shit’ll take some time. I can’t imagine he knows too many people who a) want a FMX bike, b) know what to do with it, c) know what it’s worth, and d) are willing to pay a price that Connor feels is fair.
I let out the breath I was holding. No, I’ll be fine; I have time. Just in case though, I better work on a back-up plan. My odds have got to change at some point, right? I know I can win back the money I need and then Connor will forget all about the bike. I know I can make everything better, set everything right. I just need a few bets to fall my way, just a few….
I pick up my phone and open up a new message.
Josh: What odds have you got on the rugby?
Chapter 28
Mav
It’s been two weeks since the break-in, and things are slowly getting back to normal. The front door was fixed the day of the robbery, which meant that two days later when my bed was delivered, I was able to move out of the hotel and back into my apartment. I don’t think I need to tell you Aubrey and I have had a lot of fun breaking my new bed in. Insurance paid for pretty much everything, although they weren’t too happy about paying out on my bike. Not that I care. I pay a shitload in premiums each month so they can damn well pay when I need them!
So, the apartment’s back together, Aubrey and I are making the most of my new bed, and all seems to be quiet where Josh is concerned. Aubrey told me about their conversation, and while he didn’t come out and say that he’s gambling and in debt, I think it’s a pretty safe assumption. She still hasn’t told me what else happened during that conversation, but I know it’s about me and it’s not good. Things at her house are pretty tense now, so she’s spending most of her time with me. Josh still isn’t talking to me either, just emailing his parts of our group assignment. You know, when I left Booker to come to the Coast, I was praying I’d be left alone,
that no one would bother me. I didn’t care if I made friends or not. I just wanted to be left alone so I could do my own thing. Getting to know Josh, and by extension Aubrey, changed that view. They reminded me how good it felt to be a part of a group, of a family. Now though, that family is all but torn apart, and it’s all because of me. It seems like no matter what family I’m a part of, I’m doomed to disrupt it. Maybe that’s my Ryan curse. I pick up my phone and dial the number.
“Yo,” he says.
“Do you think I’m cursed to disrupt any family I’m a part of?”
Jax bursts out laughing.
“It’s not funny, fucker, I’m serious!”
“Why is it the minute we become coupled up, we turn into insecure, whiny girls? First Reed, now you,” he says.
“I think I’m breaking Aubrey’s family apart,” I say, ignoring his comment.
“Maybe they weren’t that close to begin with.”
“I think they were.”
“And what, you’re such a destructive person that you managed to pull apart this tight-knit family with your mere presence?” he asks.
“Well, yeah.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Clearly I’ve done something! They barely spend any time together anymore, Josh can’t stand to be near me, and their grandpa hates me.”
“Then that’s their problem,” he says, easy as you like.
“It’s also Aubrey’s problem, one I wish she didn’t have and want to fix.”
“And here comes the White Knight complex,” Jax mutters.
“When you find a girl, you’ll understand.”
He scoffs. “There isn’t a girl in this world who’d be able to tie me down.”
I shake my head. “Oh, she’s out there all right. There’s no way Ma and Nan would let you go unscathed. Just you watch, the moment you’re least expecting it, bam! I hope she makes you work for it too.”
“I think that’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“You called me an idiot!” I retort.
“I’ve called you worse,” he responds.
“That’s true.”
“But seriously, Mav, you’re being ridiculous. You didn’t break Aubrey’s family apart.”
“I broke ours,” I say quietly.
“Dude, you are seriously deluded if you believe that.”
“You didn’t speak to me for six months,” I remind him.
“I didn’t have anything to say.”
“I gathered that. You hung up on me a couple of different times.”
“And now look at us, shooting the shit like old times.”
I smile as I shake my head. If there’s one thing I can count on, it’s that Jax will always be able to put a smile on my face—when he’s talking to me, that is.
“You didn’t break us apart, Mav. Sure, you broke away, but you’re still part of us, still a member of the family. We’re like the mob, once you’re in, you’re in for life.”
“Right,” I say.
“I mean, clearly Aubrey’s family had some underlying problems. There’s no way an ordinary human being like you would be able to tear a loving family apart. You might be good, but you’re no seven-gold-medal-winning BMX god like I am.”
I snort. “Right, what was I thinking?”
“I dunno, man, maybe all that sunshine has gone to your head.”
“Maybe,” I concede.
“You’re not destructive, Mav. The opposite, actually.”
“How do you mean?” I ask, confused, which is something you get used to when talking with Jax.
“I know this is going to sound odd—”
“Odd? Coming from you?” I interject.
“Cockhead,” Jax mutters, and I laugh. “Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, you actually have a very calming influence on people. I know that’s at odds with your temper that could rival Mt Vesuvius when you go off, but the majority of the time you’re calm, like Zen master calm.”
“Are you high?” I ask.
“This is why I don’t give compliments,” he mutters.
“Me? Calming? Are you sure you know what calm means?”
“You’re getting mean in your old age.”
“And you’re not getting any less ridiculous,” I reply.
“Fuck you, man, I was trying to be nice.”
Great, now I’ve hurt his feelings. Again. I sigh. “Fine, tell me how I’m this calm Zen master.”
“Are you just saying that ’cause I’m pissed at you, or do you really want to hear what I’ve got to say?”
“I really want to hear what you have to say,” I say, and I do. At least, I think I do.
“I don’t know, man, I don’t think you do. I think you’re just saying that to humour me.”
I blow out a breath. “No, I really want to hear what you have to say, Jax.”
“Say ‘Jax, oh wondrous BMX god and knower of all things, please impart your wisdom to me.’”
“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter.
“Uh-uh, that’s not the password.”
“You’re a pain in the arse, you know that? Park should’ve dropped you harder when you were a baby,” I say.
“That’s just uncalled for, man. All I want is a little love from my big bro.”
I roll my eyes but say the words he wants me to. “Please, Jax, oh wondrous BMX god and knower of all things, please… what was the last bit?”
“Please impart your wisdom to me.”
“Please impart your wisdom to me,” I repeat. “You know, only you would use ‘knower’ and ‘impart’ in the same sentence.”
He snorts. “Whatever. But that wasn’t so hard, now was it?”
“Not hard, but painful, oh so painful,” I say.
“You’re not making me feel loved, bro.”
“I’ll make you feel loved in a minute,” I mutter under my breath.
“What was that? Didn’t quite catch it?”
“Just say what you were going to say, Jax.” My patience is wearing thin.
“You know what? I can’t remember now.”
“Jax!” I shout.
“Okay, okay, keep your hair on, geez.”
“You realise I could’ve done two run-throughs of my competition run in the time it’s taken for you to spit out whatever it is you’re going to say?”
“You’re riding again?” I can hear the hope in his voice.
“I was up until my bike was stolen.”
“Insurance doesn’t cover it?” he asks.
“They did, but you know as well as I do all the work that went into getting that bike just right.”
“Get Rome to build you another.” Rome’s the head mechanic at Ryan Racing.
“Isn’t he a little busy right now?” The NRS season is in full swing, so I’m sure his attention is focused on that.
“Whatever, you’re part of the team too, and if you want to defend your medals then you need to practice and a bike to do that on.”
“I’m still not sure if I want to defend my medals,” I say.
“Ah, worried you’ve lost your touch, huh? I get it, not everyone’s as naturally talented as I am. Don’t worry, though, I’m sure you’ll pick it up if you work hard enough.”
“Remind me again why we keep you around?” I ask. I’m genuinely interested in the answer.
“’Cause I make you lot look good. Gold is a pretty, pretty colour, Mav, and I bring home a lot of it.”
“You’re not the only one who brings home gold, you know,” I remind him.
“No, but I am the only one who’s planning on bringing home more of it, or are you going to join me on that quest?” he asks.
“Quest? Sure thing, Frodo.”
“Well if I’m Frodo, that makes you Sam,” he says.
“Fuck that shit.”
“No, but seriously, you are thinking about competing again, aren’t you?” he asks.
“Of course I am, I just don’t know how seriously I’m thin
king about it.”
“It’s part of who you are, Mav,” he tells me.
“It’s just not all of who I am.”
“Never said it was, but even you’ve got to admit that bikes and being on bikes is ingrained in us.”
“Of course it is.”
“So how can you give it up?” he asks, and he’s genuinely curious.
“I just can.”
“Do you not like riding anymore? Is it not fun? Do you not get a rush every time the bike rumbles to life beneath you?”
“No, I do.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“It’s not what I want to do with my life anymore,” I say.
“So do it just for fun. Do it because you’re good at it, because you belong on a bike. Do it because deep down you still love it.”
“You think it’s that simple?” I ask.
“Why can’t it be? Okay, so you’re probably not keeping up with what everyone else is doing so Quarter Pipe is probably out. Everyone knows Best Whip is a popularity contest, but you’re still way ahead of everyone in Moto-X. Plus, we both know you can knock out a lazy double flip/trick combo with your eyes closed, so that counts Best Trick in.”
“Maybe,” I concede.
“Think about it, Mav. Doing those two, all you have to do is focus on you, on your run, your best trick, no mess, no fuss, no worries.”
“I don’t know,” I say, still unsure.
“Please, Mav, I need you there.”
“I’ll be there, even if I’m not riding,” I say.
“Okay, you wanna know what I mean when I said you were like all Zen master calm?” he asks.
“I’ve been wanting to know for the past fifteen minutes.”
“Well why didn’t you say something?”
“Jax!” I shout, so loud I’m sure my neighbours heard me.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding… or am I? No, seriously, Mav, you have this calmness about you. It’s almost like you know that this can’t be as bad as things get because there’s so much stuff out there for you to explore. Do you know what I mean?”
“Not entirely.”
He blows out a breath. “Okay, it’s like, you’re calm because you know that your destiny is more than just bikes. In knowing that it means you can go out and just do your thing and it doesn’t matter, because that’s not all of who you are.”