by Cherrie Mack
The sting behind her eyes was unbearable. The buildup of frustration made her tremble until the tears spilled over. Her shoulders shook as she let out the anguish that had been building inside for weeks. He was right. She saved it up. All the pain and suffering was locked away until it spilled over, and releasing it gave her sweet relief. Over and over she did this since she could remember. Unable to look at him, she buried her face in her hands. Her body quaked with sadness until she cried like a baby.
Angelo pulled her into his arms. She struggled to get away, but his hold was unbreakable. His voice was different, almost sympathetic. “Let it out. You need this to move forward. I understand you, sugar, and I’m here for you.”
Allie grabbed his arms and pressed her forehead against his chest. Crying, she pleaded, “Let me go.”
“No.” He wrapped his arms around her and held tight. “You need me now. And I’m not going anywhere.”
“No one understands me,” she wailed.
He stroked her hair. “I understand more than you know, Allie. You’re unable to relish the joy life has to offer, so you choose to revel in misery. Because it’s the misery you’ve learned to count on. For you, it’s reliable.”
“Please let me go.”
“No can do.” He picked her up and carried her to the couch. Cradling her like a child, he pressed his lips to her forehead and rocked her. The caring and gentleness he showed her was remarkable as Allie leaned into him and cried.
*
This was a breakthrough. Remaining silent, Angelo held Allie as she unburdened herself. She recognized her behavior and acknowledged it as truth by crying. Oh, she wanted to deny it by fighting him, but her surrender told him volumes. Now he would dig deeper and expose the root of her problem. He tried hard to remember how he had come to know the signs and symptoms of co-dependence. But he remained void of his human existence, remembering just his name and very few details of his life.
Getting back to the issue at hand, he examined Allie’s behaviors. The repressed emotions, low self-esteem, putting others happiness first, even the job choice of hospice nurse fit the criteria. Angelo waited until her breathing relaxed before he spoke. “Allie, if I ask you a question, do you think you could be honest with me? No getting defensive, all right?”
She sniffled and nodded her head yes. He continued to stroke her hair gently. “When you were growing up, can you remember a time when you did something to make yourself happy?”
After a few seconds she lifted her head up. “Does doing something nice for someone else count?” Her nasal sounding voice made her sound so vulnerable it made him smile.
“No. I mean something you did specifically for yourself.”
She thought for a moment. “Children don’t make themselves happy. They like to please their parents.” It wasn’t a question. She stated it as a fact.
“Not all children, sugar.”
She was silent. He didn’t want to push, but a little nudge was in order. “Allie, if there was no such thing as a hospice nurse, what kind of nurse would you become?”
“Hospice nurses are the best of the best, and I want to be like them. I just don’t think I have what it takes. Instead of helping patients die, I’d like to help them live.”
“Do me a favor, Allie?”
She looked up at him sheepishly with swollen and red eyes. “Okay. I’ll try.”
He shifted her weight for his comfort. “Pursue a career that will fulfill you and make you happy. I’d like to know that someday you’ll smile when you think of me and want to thank me for setting you straight.” His thumb caressed her cheek as he stopped a tear from rolling down her face.
She cast her eyes down. He quirked his mouth. “Did I just upset you by saying that?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t speak, and her breathing was pitchy from all the crying.
“Why?”
“The … way you said it. It sounds like I’ll never see you again—I don’t think I can deal with that right now.”
He hugged her tight. “I’m not going anywhere at this moment. I’ve got you and I won’t let go.”
“Promise?”
He was silent. He couldn’t promise. He wouldn’t remember Allie or this experience if he was allowed to live. He never thought he would fall in love with her, but he had. Angelo had no idea how it all worked, and it made his emotions fragile. But Allie needed him, and he would sacrifice whatever was needed to give her a life filled with the happiness she deserved. She spoke into the crevice of his neck. “You didn’t promise,” she whispered.
“Ssh, Allie. We’ll talk later.”
Chapter 13
The steam from the shower opened Allie’s sinuses, and the hot water on her skin made her shoulders relax. The long bout of tears had exhausted her, and she couldn’t get Angelo out of her mind. The way he held her and got her to open up was something she’d never experienced before. He knew her, the real her. Every flaw, every emotional loophole and scar she bore, he saw. It was as though he could trace every unseen wound with his fingertip.
The big, scary guy with the tattoos and piercings was as gentle as they came. He was tough with her when needed, but he was also tender. He certainly told her what he thought and didn’t hold back. She was beginning to discover the man, whose temper flared with passion and whose persona was larger than life, had her in his grip—and Allie was unsure whether or not she wanted to be let go.
Stepping out of the shower, she wrapped herself in a towel and wiped at the foggy mirror with her hand. Jumping when Angelo could be seen in its reflection, she quickly turned around to face him. Leaning against the sink, she shouted, “Hey! I’m wearing a towel.”
“I see. It wouldn’t bother me if you wanted to drop it, either.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“You wish.”
His chuckle was infectious and she laughed. He crossed his arms over his chest. “How are you feeling?”
“Better thanks. You really helped me release a lot of … stuff.”
“Glad I could be of service. Speaking of, I have a surprise for you.”
“You do? What?”
He looked her up and down, and Allie felt her bare skin prickle. Her stomach fell as she felt the familiar tingle of desire race through her blood, heating her from the inside out. He got closer to her. Her mind screamed, Drop the towel! Now! But Allie pulled the towel tighter around her body.
Angelo put both hands on her waist. “Oh yeah, I got it right.”
“Huh?”
He reached down and grabbed her free hand. As he pulled her into the bedroom, Allie realized she liked the way he took charge. She was beginning to like his tattoos and piercings too. He stopped at the bottom of Zach’s king-sized bed. “What do you think?” he whispered. The thought of sex with him gave her a rush of adrenaline. Her breasts tingled, and the slow throb between her legs caused her breath to hitch.
“I-I don’t know. I—” Unable to concentrate, she shook her head and tried to focus.
“Just try it. I think you’ll love it.”
“Really?” What an odd way to convince me to have sex with you.
“I think the color is perfect, and I know the size will work. You shouldn’t wear clothes too big Allie. They hide your beautiful figure. Believe me, this dress is perfect for you. It will knock Zach on his ass.”
“Uh … oh.” She watched him point at a dress that lay on the bed, and suddenly the throb between her legs shot straight to her heart. He was talking about a dress she should wear for Zach. All the questions he asked about her not wanting someone like him could have been his simple curiosity, part of his assignment. Allie felt like she’d been slapped in the face, and a lump formed in her throat as she choked on her words. “It’s a gorgeous dress—really it is.”
He ran his hands up her bare arms and rested them on her shoulders. “This is what you want, right? Tonight with Zach will give you the opportunity to snag your happiness. You’ll cook him dinner, and he’ll see you in this dress, an
d well … if it was me, you wouldn’t be in it for very long.”
Oh, how I wish it were you. The feel of his hands on her naked skin was making her tremble. She looked up and he narrowed his eyes at her. His hands ran up her neck and held her face as he caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. “Allie? Zach Brady is what you want? Nothing has changed? You still want to go through with it?”
The thought of not pursuing Zach left Allie cold. Adrienne had to be punished. Stealing Zach, even if he was a con artist, was too important for her to abandon. She had to get the satisfaction of taking something from Adrienne that she really wanted.
“I want to find out about his business dealings first, but yes, Zach is not something I want to abandon at this point.” The second the words came out, she wanted to reel them back in, but it was too late.
His eyes showed disappointment, and his slow nod indicated acceptance. “All right then. I will leave you to your evening. Everything you need for tonight’s dinner is in the kitchen. Remember our cooking class?”
The memory of the erotically charged moments when she was blindfolded came to mind and she wanted to cry. “Yes,” she whispered apologetically. “And I’m sorry things—”
“You owe me nothing, Allie. I am here to see that you get what you want. Do not apologize for telling the truth.” He offered her a half-smile.
But I didn’t tell the truth. She silently nodded her head and turned her attention to the dress. She held it up and admired it. The magenta color with clever color blocking in cream made the dress an instant figure enhancer. Although Allie did not consider herself a fashion expert, she immediately recognized how the material and design would flatter her curves and not bring them into focus. “I have to say, you really have a good eye. This color is so—” But when Allie turned around, Angelo was gone.
* * * *
The candles gave the dinner table a romantic glow as instrumental music played, setting the scene for slow dancing. Zach ate his dinner like he just won the Hope Diamond in a craps game. Allie watched him closely as he chewed. The experience of working with the squid made her want to barf, and watching him eat it was even worse. The thought of him trying to kiss her afterward made her want to gag.
“So, Allison, tell me why you can cook squid but don’t eat it.”
She was silent for a moment. “I took a class and learned how to cook it because I knew it was your favorite dish.”
Zach’s fork stopped within inches of his mouth. He stared at her as he slowly put the utensil down. Leaning on the tabletop with his elbows, he intertwined his fingers and touched them to his chin. “Allison, that’s just about the nicest thing any woman has ever done for me. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
“I’m enjoying your company more.”
“Me too,” she lied, shyly looking away.
“Would you like to have desert on my amazing new terrace? It’s a beautiful night. Spring is in the air.”
“Actually, Zach, I need you to tell me why all the investors you have in your project are female.”
He crinkled his brow as his light-hearted mood dissipated. Blowing out an annoyed breath, he fell against the back of his chair with a thud. Allie picked up her glass of water and sipped the icy liquid to calm her nerves, not to quench her thirst.
He looked at her and smirked. “Did you ever get excited about something only to be let down again and again?”
“I’m an expert at that. So in answer to your question, yes, I have.”
“That seems to be my pattern. You think the project you have or the person you’re with is just what you want, only to be let down every time.”
Allie nodded her head yes. She knew that feeling all too well. She made a life out of that emotion and learned to count on it. She tried to be sympathetic. “I understand. Adrienne Chadwick is a phony. I know her well because—”
“Adrienne Chadwick? I’m not referring to Adrienne Chadwick. She’s a beautiful woman who has it all, but she is shallow and unattached. She uses her sexuality to try to manipulate men because she has nothing else to offer them. Women like Adrienne come a dime a dozen and men like to parade them around on their arm, but that’s where it ends. She has not one quality I find appealing other than physical. You might be her housekeeper, but I thought you and I could have something special. You’re the disappointment, Allison, not Adrienne. I couldn’t care less about her.”
“But the shoes? And the gushing about how wonderful and kind she is.”
When he looked at her, his eyes darkened with anger. “Adrienne was a mark. A straight-up money funnel for my project. One Broadway hit is all I need, and I can tell them all to go to hell. These women make demands of my time and act as though they own me for a few bucks. Don’t get me wrong. I sleep with them, but in the end they’re just a meal ticket.”
“And me? My inheritance? You would’ve taken it as well?”
“No. I wasn’t going to take your money. You’re not the kind of woman I go after for that. Most of them have husbands that couldn’t care less if they give money to support the arts. Who am I to argue? But you? No. I wouldn’t have taken your money. I like you too much for that.”
“Thank you for being honest with me.”
Zach pushed his chair back from the table and stood up. He walked around the table and stood next to her chair. “You deserve honesty, Allison. But I suppose now that you know the truth, you’ll be leaving. I wonder if you’ll grant me one favor before you go?” He put his hand out to her.
She eyed his offering and hesitated. He reached down and took her by the hand. Pulling her up, he stood inches from her. With one arm around her waist and the other extended, he held her in position for a slow dance. Whisking her away from the table, Zach moved his hips with the skill of a graceful ballroom dancer and male gigolo rolled into one.
As he pressed himself against her, bringing his cheek to rest against hers, he whispered, “Dance with me, Allison. I want to have this moment with you in my arms before you walk out of my life.” He was caressing her, making her feel desired and wanted. Suddenly Allie understood how he was able to convince the others to bend to his will. When he poured on the charm, Zach was very hard to resist.
Oddly enough, her heart swelled with sympathy for Adrienne. She no longer saw her as the enemy but as a friend. A friend who needed to be told about the swine after her money. But Adrienne would never believe it unless she saw it with her own eyes. Allie pulled herself away from Zach and batted her long lashes. “Leave? I don’t think I want to leave, Zach.”
“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.” He leaned in, kissing her deep. He was all tongue and hands. Allie moaned, pretending to enjoy his attention, and then gently pulled away. “I’d like to freshen up, Zach.”
“Of course. I’ll meet you right back here, and we’ll pick up where we left off.”
She answered him with a sideways smile and grabbed her purse, making a quick exit to the powder room.
Once inside, Allie pondered what to do. If she called Adrienne, she would insist she tell her everything over the phone. Instead she sent a text that read: “Ran late. Can’t wait to see you. Adrienne has no clue. Apt 12C is it?”
Allie hit send and crossed her fingers. She counted on Adrienne’s contempt for her to cause her to show up at Zach’s door. She glanced at her watch. What if she doesn’t see the text right away? She needed help and Angelo was the only option left. She called to him.
“You rang?” He leaned against the wall, his hair hanging loose over his crossed arms. One leg was bent at the knee with his foot resting against the wall behind him.
Allie smiled. “Yes, I did. I need you to make sure Adrienne shows up here. I sent her a text, but then it occurred to me she could be occupied. I need you to make sure she shows up here very soon. Can you do it?”
Angelo studied her suspiciously. His smile faded, and his eyes flashed with indignation. He pushed off the wall and approach
ed her. He tilted up her chin and with the pad of his thumb and cleaned off the smudged lipstick from around her lips. He was rough as he rubbed the mess off her skin. “Sorry. Maybe you wanted me to leave it that way? For Adrienne, I mean. She can see how you won the heart of the man she wants.”
Allie placed her hand over his. “That’s not what this is about.”
“You could’ve fooled me.”
“This isn’t the time to discuss it. You just told me I owed you nothing, and now you act as though I belong to you.”
He let her go with a gentle nudge. His eyes told her she hurt him, and he sighed, “Fine. Have it your way. Adrienne has just arrived.”
“Wow. You work fast.”
“Get ready. The party is about to begin. Oh, one more thing. I guess once she sees you, you’ll exact your revenge and you’ll be happy. That means my job will be done.”
She shook her head, “No. That’s not true.”
There was a loud bang on the door. “Get out here and show your face.”
Allie sucked in a breath. This is it. “Angelo, please—this is not over. I need—”
“Whatever it is you need, Allie, clearly it’s not me.”
“Will you just listen—”
Bang! A startled Allie looked toward the door. “Come outta there, you slut!” Adrienne shouted.
Allie looked around and Angelo was gone.
* * * *
Adrienne stood with her hands on her hips. Her mouth twisted with resentment as she narrowed her eyes in her direction. “I want you outta my house! Tonight, Allie!”
“Let me explain.”
“No! I spent enough time on you. I’ve tried for months to become your friend, and all you’ve ever done was make it your life’s purpose to hate me. When we met, I tried hard to comfort you knowing you lost your mom, but right away you looked at me like I was some phony.”
“Comfort me? How? By trying to get me to go out and meet men? Is that your idea of comfort?”