by J. M. Paul
“Mmhmm.” Nicholas nods and turns back to us.
“You have a twin.” Connor regards me.
I sit straight and swallow deeply, trying to lead my thoughts back into PG-13 territory.
“When he decides to come around, I do.” I give Nicholas the side-eye, and he scowls. At Connor’s confused expression, I explain, “He’s been on, um … assignment.”
Thank goodness the FBI isn’t scouting me. I’m the worst liar in the history of the world.
“Assignment?” Connor’s brows furrow.
“Yeah. I work for the government, so you know, confidential information.” Nicholas scratches his chin—his dead sure I’m lying tell—but Connor has no idea. “I asked Noel to keep quiet about anything to do with me or my work.” He nudges me with his shoulder and gives me a knowing smile. “It’s good to see she’s able to keep a secret.”
My return smile has thank you written all over it. Hopefully, Nicholas’s ability to lie so effortlessly will keep me out of hot water with Connor.
“The government, huh?” Connor nods, impressed.
“Yeah. I recently finished a job, so I’m back for the holidays. I leave again on January 2.” Nicholas’s jaw clenches.
“How long will you be gone?” I was so excited at that fact that he’d be home for Christmas that I forgot to ask how long he would be here.
“I’m not sure. We have to undergo some training.” He pauses. “Then, we’re being sent out on a job right after. It’s similar to the one I just completed, so no one’s really sure.”
He’s speaking in code, so I understand, but it sounds legitimate enough for Connor.
“That’s impressive, man. It must be exciting.” Connor leans against the bar top.
Exciting but dangerous.
I know that’s what Nicholas isn’t saying and what Connor isn’t grasping. My brother is putting his life on the line to bring justice to a world that sometimes doesn’t appreciate what our brave men and women of honor do for us so selflessly.
“We’ll see.” Nicholas leaves it at that.
“Lunar!” Trey comes to stand next to Connor.
“Trey.”
“How’s it going?” Trey slaps Connor on the back. “I’m sure this dick is doing better now that he’s heard from you.”
Connor gives Trey a look, but in true Trey fashion, he laughs it off.
Connor’s eyes capture mine, and I know he’s been worried over my lack of communication, especially after the way I acted yesterday morning. Our relationship is so new that we both have insecurities we don’t want to admit, but they’re still there.
I give Connor’s hand a reassuring squeeze before I introduce Nicholas and Trey.
The two guys shake hands and exchange pleasantries, Trey oblivious to the fact that Nicholas is my twin.
“Holy fucking shit. I think hell has frozen over,” someone says from behind me.
The four of us turn our attention to the person now squeezing their way in between Nicholas and me.
“Cami,” Nicholas says in an almost bored tone and gives her a chin bob.
Cami doesn’t say anything to him and stands with her hands on her hips, her back to me. I can’t see her facial expression, but if I know my girl, she’s giving Nicholas one hell of a bitch face. And Cami is the queen of dirty looks.
“Glad to see your sparking personality hasn’t changed.” Nicholas cocks his head to the side and taps his finger on the granite.
“And I see you still have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants.” Cami cocks her head right back.
Oh, boy.
Connor’s and Trey’s eyes both go wide, and they look at me. I shrug and sit back in the stool. Knowing Nicholas and Cami, this can take a while.
“You wish you knew what I packed downstairs.” Nicholas leans closer. “And believe me when I say”—he looks Cami up and down—“you couldn’t handle it.”
“You’re right,” Cami says, and a smug look overtakes Nicholas’s features. “I’m used to handling real meat, not a little dickling.” Cami pinches her fingers together, leaving about an inch of space between them.
Connor and Trey sputter out a laugh and try to cover it with coughs. I bite my lip, trying to contain my reaction. This game between Nicholas and Cami is nothing new, but it never gets old, listening to them burn each other to a crisp.
I bet, if they ever gave in to their obvious attraction, they would have some seriously hot, angry sex.
Ew.
“You’re an idiot.” Nicholas clenches his jaw.
“Well, I do have to talk like an idiot, or how else would you understand me?” Cami shifts her weight and plops her hand back on her hip.
“Go to hell, Cami.”
“Oh, sweetheart”—Cami pats Nicholas on the cheek—“where do you think I came from?”
“Well, you are Satan’s mistress.” The corner of Nicholas’s mouth twitches, and I know he’s about to break his demeanor.
“Mmm, keep talking dirty to me,” Cami purrs.
Nicholas shakes his head and pushes back from the bar to stand.
“Where’s your restroom?” Nicholas asks Connor and Trey.
The guys point in the direction at the same time.
When Nicholas leaves, Cami falls into his vacated seat in a rather dramatic flourish.
“He’s such a gem, that one.” With a scowl, Cami watches Nicholas make his way through the crowd of people loitering around the bar.
“Feel better?” I arch a suspicious brow.
She gives me an evil grin and then huffs. “Where the hell did he come from, and why is he back?”
“It’s a long story, but it was for work.” I hate lying to the people I love.
“Work?”
I clear my throat and watch Connor serve drinks to a group of guys at the end of the bar. Trey’s flirting with a pretty blonde girl a couple of people away from Cami.
“Yeah. He couldn’t explain much, but apparently, he works for the government now and was on a top-secret assignment or something.” I wave my hand like it isn’t a big deal.
“Huh.” Cami stares off into the distance. “How long is he back?”
“For the holidays. He has training before he gets put on another assignment.”
I’m not sure how much of what Nicholas told me is okay to repeat to Cami. As long as I don’t tell her specific details, I’m sure it’s fine. If there’s anything I know about Cami, it’s that, if I were to murder someone, she’d be the person to help me hide the body. The girl is like a vault; whatever goes in doesn’t come out.
“That’s not very long.” Cami pulls at her lip as she watches me.
“No, it’s not.” Sadness starts to overtake me, and I try to brush it off.
I don’t want to be unhappy tonight. It’s Saturday, and there are only a few days until Christmas. My brother’s back in town, and I have a wonderful, hot boyfriend. And, for the first time in two years, I want to enjoy myself.
“You need a drink,” Cami says.
“No.” I shake my head.
“Two?” she questions.
I hold up three fingers and smirk.
“We should barf.” She nods her head and lifts her hand in the air, trying to signal our favorite bartender.
Before I realize it, I have two drinks down, and I’m working on my third, laughing so hard that I think I piddled in my panties a little.
Nicholas, Cami, Connor, and I moved to a table in the bar about a half hour ago, and I’ve been giggling like a schoolgirl ever since. Cami gave up her bitch act with Nicholas, Connor gave up on working and decided to play with us, Nicholas has been sipping on his beer and shaking his head at our antics, and I’ve been slurping down alcohol like it’s my new profession.
I plan to thoroughly pay for my stupidity tomorrow, but as of right now, I don’t care. I’ve been walking through a season of life that has tried to claim me and maim me, but tonight, I want to be irresponsible and enjoy the little thi
ngs—like having the greatest friends and my brother here with me. Tonight is about living my best life. Letting go of the rules, inhibitions, restrictions, and hurt to enjoy what’s in front of me while it’s still in front of me—because, if there’s anything I know, it’s how fast the things I love can be taken away before I’m ready.
“You’re an asshole, Nicholas.” Cami swats him on the shoulder.
“Pretty sure that’s not breaking news to you.” Nicholas takes a swig of his beer.
“At least nothing’s changed between you two.” I salute and take another drink.
The liquid hits my stomach in a sour twist, and I groan.
“What’s wrong?” Connor asks.
“I think I’ve had my fill of drinks.” I lift the Holiday Mule in the air and swipe my finger across my throat in case they didn’t understand my slurred words.
“Here”—Cami pulls the copper mug from my hand—“leave it to a pro.” She takes a big gulp of the gingery liquid.
“Welcome to the shitshow,” Nicholas grumbles.
Cami flips him off, bends so that she’s right in his face, and takes another drink from the copper mug. Nicholas places his palm on her forehead and pushes her back.
Connor eyes me.
“There’s no explaining these two.” I shrug.
“Hey, Con!” Trey yells from behind the bar.
Connor lifts his head, so he can see his friend over the patrons.
“Reggie’s here, says he has something for you.” Trey waves Connor over.
Connor’s face goes from amused at me to jubilation over whatever Trey’s saying. He pushes a water toward me, kisses me on the forehead with an, “I’ll be right back,” and then disappears.
“What’s that about?” Cami jerks her head toward Connor’s retreating back.
“Beats me.” I slurp down some water.
Nicholas and I pigged out at On the Border before we came, but I need more food.
“So, my little demon,” Cami says this to Nicholas, “now that you’ve decided to grace us with your evil presence, where do you plan on staying while you’re here?”
Nicholas’s eyes flash to mine. “I don’t really know. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“You’re staying at our place, duh.” I pull a face.
“She’s had too much of the drink. It’s making her delusional. You’re not staying with us. Nope, not gonna happen.” Cami tosses me a pleading expression for me to take back my words.
“He’s my brother, CC. I can’t leave him hanging.” I chew on an ice cube.
“Doesn’t he have friends?” she asks me and then turns toward Nicholas. “You have friends, right?”
“Kinda gave those up when I had to disappear.” He raises his brows.
“That’s not our fault,” Cami exclaims and then gives me a panicked expression. “That’s not our fault, Noles.”
I reach across the table and pat Cami’s hand. “It’ll be fine. You two can try to get along for a week. We’re all adults here.” I squint my eyes and point at Cami. “Although you’re questionable.”
Cami scowls and sticks out her tongue.
“Thanks, man. I really owe you one.” Connor stops at our table, sets a very official-looking envelope in front of where he was sitting, and shakes the hand of a nerdy-looking guy.
“You bet your ass you do. It was no easy feat. Especially in the time frame you requested the info. Not to mention the fact that I could lose my job if anyone found out what I did.” The guy—I’m assuming Reggie—gives us all a chin bob. Then, his eyes focus in on me.
“Is this her?” Reggie asks Connor.
What the hell? Am I who?
“Uh, yeah.” Connor swallows deeply and shifts his weight several times. “This is my girlfriend.”
Nerdy Guy sticks out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Noel. I’m Reggie, a, uh … friend of Connor’s.”
I take his hand and shake once. “Nice to meet you, too.”
“All right, well, good luck, man.” Reggie slaps Connor on the back and then leaves without another word.
“What was that about?” I ask when Connor takes his seat again.
“Business.” He waves the official-looking envelope in the air and gives me a mysterious smile. “And getting your Christmas present.”
“That’s my present?” I point at it.
“Holy shit. Is that what you talked to me about?” Cami almost sputters some of my boycotted drink onto the table.
“Yes.” Connor nods slowly.
Cami’s eyes go wide. She looks at me, then Nicholas, then at me again, and then Connor. “Wow. You did it.”
“You did what?” My suspicion is piqued.
“Nothing,” Connor growls in Cami’s direction.
“Bullshit. He either pulled off the ultimate of all surprises or you’re going to kick him to the curb.” Cami slurps through the straw of her beverage.
“What?” My brain is too hopped up on vodka to understand what’s going on.
“I’m not sure if you’ll want this gift, so I’ll leave it up to you to decide. But you don’t get it until Christmas Day.” Connor brushes the hair back from my clammy face. It’s hot in here.
“Why wouldn’t I want something from you?” I fan myself.
“It’s …” He runs his hand through his hair. “I might have overstepped my boundaries, but I won’t know until I give it to you.”
Connor grabs my hand and pulls it up to his mouth to kiss the scar at the base of my thumb.
“This makes me think that what I got you isn’t good enough.” I shiver at the touch of his mouth on my skin.
“Whatever you got me will be perfect.” Connor leans forward and whispers in my ear, “Especially if it’s you.” He nips my earlobe before he pulls back to look deeply into my eyes.
Before I can give our excuses to Nicholas and Cami and drag Connor out of his bar and back to his place—which I’ve still never been to—we’re interrupted by a sharp voice that has my stomach immediately tying into knots.
“Con.”
Both of our backs go straight.
Oh no, she didn’t.
I peer over Connor’s shoulder, and he turns to face the intruder.
“Emily.” Connor’s tone tells me he’s just as surprised to see her as I am. “Why the hell are you here?”
Emily sneers at me, and I glower right back. When she regards Connor again, it’s with an innocent expression I know is anything but harmless.
“My aunt died, and I have no one, except you. I came here for you, Con. I want you back,” she answers.
Poisonous Web
It’s been two days since Emily stepped into Harry’s and whisked my boyfriend away from me and trapped him in her poisonous web.
Connor’s texted me many times, and we’ve had a couple of brief phone conversations but nothing of significance. When I ask him what’s going on with Emily, he gives me vague responses—the kind of replies that make me feel worse about the situation than better.
While Connor’s off doing who knows what with The Bitch—as I’ve dubbed Emily—I’ve been keeping busy by reconnecting with Nicholas. Together, we’re working hard to rekindle our love of Christmas—for our parents’ sake.
The two of us are reliving the good old days of when we were children and Mom and Dad made the spirit of the holidays magical. Yesterday, we drove north to Frankenmuth—a well-known city in the middle of Michigan’s Lower Peninsula that celebrates Christmas year-round—for the infamous family-style fried chicken dinners. We also stopped at Frankenmuth’s renowned Bronner’s Christmas Wonderland, which is the world’s largest Christmas store. It was my parents’ favorite place, and they unquestionably passed their love onto us kids.
When we walked into Bronner’s, I had to excuse myself from Nicholas and Cami to use the restroom, so I could pull myself together. Instant tears sprang into my eyes, and even though the location brought me so much joy and fond memories, it also poured vinegar over the woun
ds my parents’ deaths had left on my heart.
Nicholas and I bought two identical angel ornaments—to represent my parents—and hung them toward the top of the pity tree when we got back to my condo. Cami made her excuses and went to her bedroom, so Nicholas and I could have some time to reminisce and nurse our broken hearts.
Today is the eve of the anniversary of when my parents died. The eve of the day I had to make the hardest decision of my life—to end theirs. The day I lost so much more than I’d ever thought I could lose.
My brother and I sit in the living room, watching The Santa Clause with Tim Allen, drinking hot cocoa with a candy cane and marshmallows melting in it—Mom always allowed us to have both, if we wanted, around the holidays—and watching the tree lights shimmer in the darkened room. It was another one of my parents’ favorite things to do.
“I love you, little sis, but this just isn’t the same without them.” Nicholas sets his mug on the side table and stretches out on the couch.
“I know.” I spin my peppermint stick around and around the steaming liquid. “It never will be, but they’d be happy we’re trying.” I release a long, dramatic exhale after I take a tentative drink of the sweet cocoa. “Death has a way of changing every remaining moment for those of us still living. We can keep the same traditions, go to the same places, and do the same things, but the fact remains that they aren’t with us.”
“It sucks.” Nicholas’s voice breaks.
He hasn’t told me in so many words, but I know the situation he was in didn’t allow him to properly grieve our loss. I can only imagine what he went through, trying to save face and to act like he didn’t have any emotions around a bunch of testosterone-filled, high-on-power bookies.
“It really does suck, but you know what?” I sit up and face him. “We need time to mourn Mom and Dad, but we’ll never be able to move forward if we’re always looking behind us at what was or what might have been.”
The television is the only noise between us for a stretch of time until Nicholas finally says, “That sounds like some wise life experience talking.”
“Well, yes. I’m a writer, and we’re known for our way with words.” I try to lighten the moment.
“You always did slay the words.” Nicholas turns to look at me, his brown eyes dark and serious. “Mom and Dad would’ve been real proud of you, Jelly. You’ve done well for yourself. I’m proud of you.”