Jason: A Dystopian Paranormal Urban Fantasy Romance (Warrior World Book 3)
Page 11
“Do me a favor, Matt, and let everyone know that I’m not going anywhere. If anyone has concerns I’m here. Also.” I couldn’t believe I was just going to up and ask after so much trepidation about it only days earlier but I felt different now. Stronger. Secure. Whatever it was, I needed to know. “Why did you guys want me back? I haven’t been a great Alpha so far. Why ask for my cloning? Why harass the scientists and the others for it to the point that they let me live through my accidental cloning? Why?”
He shook his head. “I’ve known you since you were a baby, Jason. I don’t want to speak ill of the dead.”
Matt had to mean my father. “I asked you for an answer. Feel free to give me one. Even if you think I won’t like it.”
“He wasn’t very kind. You always were. Alpha, but kind. We all felt like we’d had enough distress. We wanted to start over. We needed an Alpha who might want to make things better, not dominate the world.”
He left me that thought. I stood there, the breeze smelling like rain as it hit me in the face. Matt was right. My father hadn’t been a nice man. Not all the time. He was a complicated person. A doctor who had saved a tremendous amount of lives. I used to hear how he never rushed a patient out of the office, made everyone feel like they mattered even if they were a hypochondriac. Years later, in these circumstances, he’d had to take on even more roles. He’d had to suddenly preform surgeries he’d not even seen since med school and deliver babies without the help of modern medicine.
My father had preformed beautifully.
But he’d become a bit of a megalomaniac. All in the name of our pack. I sighed. He was more than my father, he was my Alpha and I’d made excuse after excuse for him in the name of pack loyalty. I’d thrown myself into the idea that I was a Werewolf and he was my Alpha. I would obey. I closed my eyes. I was Alpha now. I knew how completely ridiculous it was to assume that my father had a clue about anything when I so clearly did not.
I rubbed my face.
My father had been a terrible Alpha and a complicated man. I couldn’t live with him constantly on my shoulder. I couldn’t let his burdens, his self-destruction, and his weakness determine my life. He’d fallen weakness to a virus that brought out the worst of him. I would never have that, thanks to Margot and others who had cured it. I didn’t have to act like I was about to become psychotic. That had not been my path. Hell, those times hadn’t even been this body.
“Chad,” I called out to him as I saw him in the distance, and he jumped, hearing his name. He strode over to me, looking at the tents in a circle now taking up part of the area.
“Did your pack move over here?” He spun around, checking out the new arrangements. “You okay?”
I nodded. “Yes. Something interesting. When I was in the place with Margot, following the Vamps, one of the Doubledays told me you guys have the ability to end this but you don’t know how. Do you know what she meant?”
His face fell. “The cloning machine. We don’t know how to turn it off. Icahn had a safety measure he kept in Genesis. He could have ended all of it. We found it. But we don’t know how to safely shut it off without potentially risking the clones that are alive. Like you and me. And Margot for that matter. It may instantly kill us. It might not. We have no idea, and we are convinced that no one really knows. So we don’t do it.”
I didn’t want to die, but even more than that, I didn’t want Margot to die. I was sure I didn’t have to explain this to Chad who was himself cloned. “We don’t know who all the clones are. Not really, right? There was so much of that going on before we even became aware of it. In our pack we knew of the cryogenic sleep you’d all had but it was news to us that Icahn had brought himself back from the dead however many times he’d done that.”
Chad put his hands on his hips. “Yes. For all we know everyone here is a clone. We turn that thing off and we lose everyone.”
“The other side of that is that Doubleday—whichever one of her is in charge—keeps messing with the original Vamps and we lose to her because she can keep bringing herself back to keep doing it.”
We were both quiet until Chad spoke again. “And that’s why we stumble. There is no way out of this. Someone will have to decide, but neither Deacon nor I, let alone Tiffani feel qualified to make those kinds of life and death decisions. Maybe that’s ridiculous. We send people out to die all the time. But this potential mass destruction? Damn. I don’t know, Jason.”
The burden of leadership. I was deeply familiar with it. Chad had a baby to meet. Did he potentially end his life for the good of everyone else? What if that ended Rachel?
“We’ll see what happens tonight. We’re forewarned. That’s a good thing.”
Chad nodded. “I think so, too. Thanks for getting that information. Thanks for being here. You and I have bad history. But I think it’s different now.”
“It is.” Everything was different. I just hoped it wasn’t about to be all over.
I sniffed the air. Battle was imminent. I could smell it. “They’re coming.”
“So glad you’re here.” Chad ran off as I strode into the tent. I bent over Margot’s sleeping form and kissed her cheek. She smiled, not waking. I did it again. “Sweetheart, time to get up.”
Her eyes fluttered open. “Time?”
“Yes.” I kissed her mouth, her neck where I’d bitten her, her cheeks again. “You stay safe. Understand? The wounded get brought to you, you don’t go looking for the wounded.”
She narrowed her eyes at me but there was no anger in them. “My alpha ordering me around like I haven’t taken care of myself a long time.”
“Came with the mating. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
She shook her head, reaching up to kiss me straight on the lips. “We never do. If this had been that time you lived in, it would still be the same. Random acts of death happened all the time, right? You’re going to fight. I know there is risk but there always was. Am I wrong?”
“You’re not.” I smoothed her hair off her forehead. “You’re so lovely, Margot. I’d do it all again. Every second of this fucked up existence to be here with you now. Every mistake. Every wrong move. Every time I screwed up. I’d do it because somewhere in that time I must have been doing things to become worthy of you.”
“Oh, Jason. When you say things like that you sound like you’re saying goodbye. That’s not what we’re doing, is it? This is see you later, not goodbye.”
I had to tell her the truth. “I’m always saying goodbye. That’s just the reality of things.”
She didn’t argue with me, which I appreciated. Margot lived in the real world. Instead she tugged my mouth to hers again. “Do your best to come back.”
“Sometimes my head gets lost in things that don’t matter. But you draw me back here, to home. To you.”
Margot sat up straight. “Like what? What do you get lost in?”
“I wonder, for example, if this is it or if there is some place we go when we die. And if there is some place—like they used to tell us before the world ended—then is there some version up there of me or did I not get to go because I did bad shit. Or, if this version of me dies, will I be judged on that version? Or could two of us get to go there?”
She got up on her knees. “I was never raised on any religion at all. We haven’t had that since I existed. My maker sure seems to think she’s a god. So I don’t have any of that information. None at all. Did Werewolves get to go to heaven?”
That was a good question. “Not according to a lot of belief systems. But a Werewolf ran the church we went to. We may have had a different take.”
She touched her hand over my heart. “You’re good, Jason. I wish you would stop worrying about it. I can feel it deep inside of me. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere you’re not anyway. And… who knows. If clones are judged by the actions of our makers then I’m genocidal and royally screwed.”
Nothing in her face or her scent told me she was particularly worried about this. “You don’t g
et lost in philosophical questions in your mind?”
She shook her head, slowly. “No, I worry about things like do I have enough antibiotics? Could we start investing in ways to make more? Bandages? Training new doctors so it’s not just me…”
Those were really important questions. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Don’t get lost in the middle of the battle. Save it for downtime. I’d hate to lose you, Jace, because you’re not in the present. The past was what it was. We can’t change any of that. All we have is now.”
I kissed her nose. “I won’t forget where I’m supposed to be. Stay safe, my love.” I loved how she was calling me Jace. This was the second time. My mother used to do that. I shoved that thought away, too. Death. Heaven. Hell. What came next or didn’t. My mother. Father. Damn. Someday I’d really like to just spend time worrying what I was going to eat for dinner.
Ten
I stood on Micah’s wall, next to the man himself, and stared down. “Where is your wife?”
I didn’t usually make small talk but it felt like I should say something. I’d lost track of how many original Vampires were coming toward us. They were lining up like some kind of medieval army, and I wondered if they were about to lay siege on our proverbial castle. Maybe I had paid attention in school a little bit more than I realized.
Micah shook his head. “I don’t know. I asked her not to be where I could see her. I’ll worry too much about her and not be able to concentrate on what I have to do. She’s tougher than me. She can handle herself. But still...”
“It’s everything I can do not to lock Margot up somewhere until this is over. I thought it was a mate thing.”
Micah laughed. “It’s a love thing and a we live in shitty times thing.”
“I guess you’re right.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “There’s no way we get through this if they make it through the wall. There’s too many of them.” My Wolves were ready but there were only so many of us. We were going to need an army and we didn’t have one.
Micah nodded. “Glen’s special arrows need to work.”
The resident inventor happened to be Micah’s brother-in-law and he’d fitted us with special arrows that were supposed to somehow pierce the extra level of protection the Originals had around their hearts. “Will they?”
“He doesn’t tend to let us down.”
I hoped that continued to be the case. “Have we seen a single regular old Vamp since this crap started?”
“No.” Deacon stepped toward us. “Since you two are cackling over here like old women I thought I’d come join the conversation. Most Warriors are puking. Our population is screaming in terror and you’re what? Gossiping?”
Micah grinned. “Jealous?”
“Little bit.” Deacon held up his fingers together to show how little he was actually jealous. Now, it was the three of us laughing. I’d missed this. Back in high school, even during my Rachel years, I’d had friends to hang out with. That had happened less and less as the Wolf had ridden me more but there had been times we’d just laughed.
“Where is Lydia?” I hoped I remembered her name right. Micah had Brynna. Deacon had Lydia. I had Margot. What were the chances in this crazy world the three of us would have anyone at all?
“I hope she’s with Margot. She’s good in a crisis, but I don’t want her wandering around and maybe getting in trouble. She’s helped your wife before. Oh wait, sorry. Not wife. Mate, right? Same thing?”
It was more than a wife to me. Or maybe not. What did I know about how full on humans felt about their wives? It seemed like we were all reacting pretty similarly when it came down to it. “I need to ask her to marry me.”
Margot was human. She should have the human ritual.
I was going to see to that. Assuming I lived through this.
Glen came up behind us, panting. “They work. I mean, I think they do.”
Well then, I supposed it was time to get to it.
“When this is over,” Glen leaned against the railing, “does anyone want to get a beer?”
A beer? I’d never gotten a beer with anyone, ever. Did he mean me, too? Micah nudged me. “Yeah, we’ll all go get a beer. After we have we survived battle sex with our wives. Except you, Glen, because that’s my sister and so I can’t think about you having sex with her ever.”
I snorted and Chad groaned. “Yeah, no sex with Tia.”
“She’s had two of his children.” Deacon held up that many fingers. “That means that at least twice…”
Micah covered his ears. “I’d rather fight original Vampires than listen to that shit.”
On that note, I turned my attention downward. “Who says when it’s time to start this show?”
Chad sighed. “You do. You’re the one putting his ass on the line first. Have at it whenever you’re ready.”
“Then I guess it’s now.” I looked over at my pack mates. They were positioned up and down the wall. They’d follow me into this mess. I just hoped we didn’t all live to regret it. “Don’t hit us with any of those arrows.”
Glen gulped. “Maybe I shouldn’t be the one shooting them.”
“He acts like he wasn’t a full-fledged Warrior for most of his existence in this version of the world.” Micah shrugged. “I’ll be doing it. To start. We won’t hit you guys. I promise you that. Jason, thanks for doing this. Seriously. I know you don’t have to.”
I pointed behind me. “As long as she’s here, I’m here. And that makes you all pack.”
I realized as I said it that I meant it. They were my pack. I’d protect Genesis until I couldn’t protect her anymore. In doing so, I was keeping Margot safe. My Wolves wanted to stay here. So that was what we would do.
I launched forward, shifting mid-air. Once upon a time scientists had observed like we were a storyline for them to read in a book. They’d lost that ability but if anyone was witnessing this now let them see me. Let them know Genesis was protected.
By me.
I hit the ground on all four paws, and for the first time since I met Margot, I let my human brain turn off. There was death to deliver but it didn’t need to be giving these creatures their end. My Wolf was better at it. He’d let me stay present since my mate arrived, understanding even before I did that I had to be aware of her all the time, even when I was wearing my fur.
But Margot had no place here, not here.
This was just… death.
I struck, my mouth watering. I would deliver the end to any who threatened what was mine. I’d been born to do this. Alphas protected. It was what we did. And for the first time ever I wore the role comfortably.
It fit me just fine.
“Jason.” Micah put a hand on my shoulder and shook. I wrenched my eyes open. Where the fuck was I? On the ground somewhere? The last thing I remembered was shifting.
“What happened?”
Micah shrugged. “I think you shifted before you passed out.”
“I passed out?”
“Twelve hours with no break? Yeah. I’d say you earned it. I was up on the ledge most of the time and I’m conked.”
He put out his hand, and I took it, letting him help me to my feet. “Is everyone okay?”
Micah himself didn’t look particularly well. He had a scratch down the side of his face that was bleeding, a black eye that was swelling up even as they spoke, and his clothes were torn.
“Don’t remember much?”
“I go blank when the Wolf’s in charge. Just part of it. I can control when the Wolf’s in charge. That’s an Alpha thing. We can discuss that later.”
Micah pointed behind him. “Your pack is fine and last I heard so is Margot.”
I could finally breathe. Those were the two most important pieces of information he needed. Micah delivered that news as a man who knew what a man in love needed to hear first. I’d have told Micah about Brynna first off if the situation were reversed.
“Thanks for that. Otherwise?”
“You and
your Wolves kicked some serious ass. I don’t think you lost any. But they did get past us.” A hole in the wall caught my attention as little details of our surroundings started to filter into my consciousness. This place looked like a warzone.
I stared at the hole in the wall. “How bad?” He’d said Margot was okay. I had to keep that in my heart so I didn’t go charging in there.
“Deacon and some others drove them back. We have massive casualties. I came looking for you as soon as it was safe because I couldn’t get to you earlier and Margot is asking about you every two minutes. She needs to see you and maybe she could use some help. The only real doctor…”
He didn’t need to say anymore. I took off running. I passed two members of my pack who were helping an older woman get to her feet. They nodded at me. No one needed my attention right then except Margot. Mass casualties. What did that mean?
Margot stood, covered in blood, her blue apron that she wore in the med bay drenched with it. The stench of death hit me hard, but I covered my reaction.
She spoke to a woman who I could tell just from looking at wasn’t going to make it. She had bites all over her body, a scratch down her side. People ran about helping Margot but Margot only had eyes for the woman on her table.
“Tell me what it was like, the place you got married, so long ago.”
The woman smiled and tried to speak but couldn’t. The end was close. I approached on quiet feet. Margot met my gaze for a second before dropping her eyes back down to her patient. It was enough. She knew I was here but yes she was needed more in this woman’s final moments than anywhere else.
I could wait as long as it took to capture her attention. Actually, I could be more helpful than that. I’d assisted my father on occasion. I grabbed bandages and gauze. That was the best I could do. If she had to help people pass on from this world, then I’d see to it that she had less work when she was done.
I got busy getting busy.