The idea of not feeling his arms around her ever again hurt almost as bad as it did when she found out she wasn’t pregnant.
Getting pregnant never occurred to her. She’d been on the pill for years, and up until that one night, Maddox had always used a condom.
When she thought she was pregnant, she decided it was a sign. It had to mean she and Maddox were meant to be together. Now she knew better. No baby. No life with Maddox. What was he even doing here?
Tears slid down her cheeks, but soon it would be worse. She could feel it coming, and she wouldn’t be able to stop it.
Maddox woke when Alex’s body shuddered. At first he thought she was chilled, but soon he realized she was sobbing. He tightened his arms around her.
“Darlin’, what’s got you so sad?”
She shook her head and her body convulsed. Maddox hadn’t seen Alex cry this hard since her father died.
“Come on, baby. Tell me.”
Alex buried her face in the pillow, and her sobs diminished. She slid out of the bed, and went into the bathroom. When she returned, her eyes were red and puffy, but she’d stopped crying. She’d also put on a robe that she must’ve left in the bathroom.
“Alex?”
“I had a bad dream, it was nothing.”
“What did you dream about, Al?”
“My dad. I miss him.”
Maddox sensed she was lying, but he couldn’t call her out on it. What would he say without divulging his own secret? Alex, are you sad about not being pregnant? Because I am.
“It’s the anesthesia. Cristobal told me it would take a while for my body to shake its affects.”
Maddox raised an eyebrow, but let it go. “Come back to bed.” He reached for her, but she stepped back.
“I’ll make some coffee.” The words trailed as she walked out of the bedroom.
Maddox pulled on his jeans, and joined her in the kitchen.
“We need to talk, Maddox,” she began.
What was this? Alex didn’t talk, she left.
7
Maddox drove home, still shell-shocked. He was the one who always wanted Alex to talk more, but now that she had, he regretted it.
She told him in no uncertain terms that she was ready to move on. He was her high school crush, and it was time they let each other go.
If she hadn’t been so convincing, he might’ve tried to argue, but her words were clear and concise. There was no hesitation in her voice, no hint that this was the same Alex who might say it was over, but would eventually come back.
He had an ache in his chest, the same one he felt whenever he thought about Kade. It was finality. Kade was gone forever, and while Alex still walked the Earth, she was gone from him forever too.
He never thought he’d see this day, and that it came so close on the heels of them having a tie that kept them together forever, made it harder to accept.
It wasn’t as though he could bury himself in winemaking and push his pain and disappointment aside, this was the slowest time of the year for him.
In June and July Brodie was the only one of them who was busy. The early summer months were for selling wine, attending festivals, making contacts. Maddox would participate, but only when Brodie asked him to.
It was the same for Naughton. The vineyards needed his attention, but only to monitor the grape growth, and keep an eye on things like pest infestation or mold.
If there were ever a time for the two of them to get started on the Old Creek Road property, it was now. A little back-breaking work might help him sweat away some of his anger and frustration over Alex. That was the only downside to starting this project in June. Daytime temperatures would be scorching.
He’d call Naught, but he’d be in the vineyard this early, so he decided to get some breakfast before driving home. Instead of going somewhere in Cambria, or driving all the way to Paso Robles, Maddox stopped in Harmony. There were ten houses, one winery, and one restaurant in the little town, and the people who lived there liked it that way.
He parked a couple doors down from Sadie’s Diner, and cut the engine. Before he climbed out, something caught his eye. He blinked a few times at what he saw in the mirror. Damn if the guy walking across the road a few hundred feet back didn’t look just like Kade.
Maddox jumped out, and slammed the door behind him. The man must’ve gone into one of the houses, because he was no longer on the road. He walked down that way anyway, even though there was no reason for him to. Kade was dead, and if he caught up to the guy he just saw, he’d think he was a wack-job. Maddox turned back around, and went in the front door of Sadie’s.
He sat at the counter, still shaken. How could anyone look so much like his brother? Same height, same build, even walked the same as Kade. Granted he was pretty far away, but the cadence was so similar.
After his ma had the heart attack, he heard that Peyton dreamt Kade came and talked to her, so had his mother. Maddox thought it was a little weird, but now he wondered if the same thing had just happened to him. Was he dreaming? If he was, he’d give anything to wake up, because then it would mean the conversation he’d had with Alex was just a nightmare.
“Look who’s darkenin’ my door this mornin’.” Sadie came out of the kitchen, and kissed his cheek. “How the hell are ya, Maddox?”
“Been better, Sadie.”
“I hear ya, honey.”
Maddox wasn’t sure what Sadie meant, other than maybe her life wasn’t any better than his at the moment. There’d been a time that he and Sadie tangled a few sheets, and she was a fine-looking woman, but he wasn’t feeling it for her today. Maybe it was too soon, Alex’s words had barely sunk in. Marry that with him thinking he just saw Kade, and Maddox wondered if being out in the hot sun later was such a good idea. He already felt a little delirious.
Just because Petyon was with Brodie, didn’t mean Alex couldn’t text her, did it? When Peyton was with Lang, Alex called whenever she wanted. He was never home anyway.
When Peyton was with Kade, Alex kept her distance. She knew Peyton would only be MIA for a short while, and then it would be time for Kade to leave on his next mission, and she and Peyton would have more time to hang out.
Brodie was different. He’d be with Peyton every chance he could, and he’d never be deployed. Was work the only place she’d see her best friend?
Whatcha’ doin’? She texted.
Just got to Stave.
Be right in.
Thank goodness Peyton was at Stave, even if she didn’t work all day. Alex would still have some time to tell her what she’d just done.
Alex parked her car behind the building, and took a few deep breaths. She and Maddox had been apart before, after a fight, or when he was just being an asshole and she didn’t want to be around him. This felt different, though. This was forever, and as hard as it would be for her to have enough self-control to stay away from him, her future depended on it. The ache she felt inside would go away. In a few days, she’d be over Mad-man Butler, and ready to move on.
Thinking she was pregnant, even for a few short weeks, made her think about her life in a different way than she ever had before.
If she wanted a life like Peyton was going to have with Brodie, and she did, she had to break out of the Maddox paradigm, and find someone she could make a life with. If Maddox Butler wanted something more than sex with her, he would’ve said so years ago.
Brodie was the only Butler boy who was settling down. Alex doubted Maddox or Naughton ever would. If he’d lived, Kade wouldn’t have either, even though at one time Alex thought he might propose to Peyton.
When she walked in the back door of Stave, she heard Brodie’s voice coming from the bar. He and Peyton were talking to someone about Butler Ranch wine. He sounded so much like Maddox that for a minute she considered turning around and going home
“Look who’s here.” Brodie was the first to see her, and greeted her with a hug. Peyton was right behind him.
“Why does it feel a
s though I haven’t seen you at all, Alex?”
“A lot’s been happening. You’re engaged…and other stuff.”
“What other stuff?”
“Nothing major,” she lied through her teeth. It didn’t get much more major in Alex’s life, Maddox had been an integral part of it since she was a teenager. She shook her head, trying to shake off the tears that threatened.
“Be right back,” she said to Peyton, and went into the restroom.
“Where’d Brodie go?” she asked when she returned.
“He just dropped me off. He’s going back to the house, and then he and the boys are adventuring.”
“Do you want to go with them? I can cover.”
“Heck, no.” Peyton walked over and hugged her again. “I miss you like crazy, Alex. We need to catch up.”
“I was thinking the same thing. You go first.”
Peyton pulled a stool from around the corner of the bar. “Have a seat, Alex, and tell me what’s going on.”
“I might as well be in a coma compared to what’s happening in your life. You’re engaged, you’re pregnant. Tell me how he proposed. I’m dying to hear the story.”
“Nope, you’re not distracting me. I’m not saying another word until you tell me what’s up.”
The people who had been in the tasting room left, and for now, they were alone. Alex might as well tell Peyton now. Saturdays were always busy, and soon they wouldn’t have a chance to talk.
“I ended things with Maddox,” she began. “It was time.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing really. Or maybe something huge…I decided I want more.”
“More?”
“You know, what you have. A husband, a family, a future. I want that, Peyton.”
“Did you tell Maddox that’s what you wanted?”
Alex shook her head. “It isn’t what he wants.”
“Did he tell you that?”
“Sure did.” Over the course of the last twenty years.
Peyton studied her. “I’m surprised.”
“At what?”
“That Maddox told you that.”
“Don’t be. Mad and I were friends with benefits, an expression I hate, but in this case, accurately describes our relationship.”
“It’s more than that, Alex. It’s so obvious whenever the two of you are together.”
“We’re comfortable, that’s all it is. I grew up with Maddox. If we hadn’t had sex, he’d be like a brother to me.”
“Ew.”
“Right? Can we please change the subject? Tell me how Brodie proposed.”
Peyton told Alex about the letter from Kade, and the ring, and how it all fell together so perfectly, as though it had been scripted.
“I’m sure Maddox told you about his letter.”
“What? No, I don’t know anything about another letter.”
“You know about the Old Creek Road property though, right?”
“That the Butlers bought it? I surmised that from the conversation between Mad and Rory last night.”
“No, Alex. The Butlers didn’t buy it, Kade did. And he left it to Maddox.”
“You’re kidding?” Alex did a mental calculation. “Where did Kade get that kind of money?” As soon as she said it, she wished she hadn’t. Peyton looked haunted.
“I don’t know,” she murmured. “I don’t want to think about it.”
Alex nodded. This was huge, and Maddox hadn’t mentioned anything about it. It was another sign he didn’t want their relationship to change.
“Not just Maddox, though,” Peyton continued. “Naughton, too. Together they own four hundred acres.”
If Alex had taken the drink of the wine in front of her, she would’ve spit it all over the bar. Four hundred acres? How in the hell had Kade pulled that off?
“Did Laird and Sorcha help?”
“Brodie doesn’t think so. They said they knew nothing about it.”
“Maybe Kade robbed an Afghani kingdom no one knew about.”
Peyton laughed, but Alex saw the worry in her eyes. Nobody came up with that kind of cash overnight.
Maddox called Naughton on his cell and asked if they could meet on Old Creek Road, so he didn’t have to drive all the way back to Butler Ranch. Naught told him he could be there in a couple of hours. While he waited, Maddox went exploring.
The severe drought the region experienced over the course of the last few years took its toll. The Earth was dry and desolate-looking, and the vines would look dead to the untrained eye.
Maddox parked near a single-story house, not far from the entrance to the estate. The Mercedes was parked out front.
Last night, he and Lena sat on the boardwalk overlooking Moonstone Beach before going into the restaurant. She told him that at one point her father had planned to expand winemaking at the ranch. When her mother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, that plan dried up like the land around it.
Lena had been living in Santa Barbara, up until about five years ago when her mother’s condition worsened. She sold her house, and moved north in order to help her father.
Two years ago, her mother passed away, and her father moved away from the ranch, not wanting any part of it. Lena stayed, not knowing what to do next with her life.
When she asked if she could stay in the house a few more weeks, Maddox told her she could stay as long as she wanted.
It would take three years, at least, for Naught and him to restore the vineyards. He didn’t need to live here to do that, so he wasn’t in a hurry to move out of his house on Butler Ranch.
Instead of knocking on the door of the house, Maddox followed a path that went through the trees.
Every footstep he took on this land brought another question about Kade. If he hadn’t died, what had he planned to do with the acreage? Had he planned to live here with Peyton and her boys?
So many other questions plagued him. Why had it taken the lawyers so long to get in touch with his parents? Why had the lawyers called his parents instead of him? Why hadn’t Naughton told him about the property? Kade had been dead for a year and four months.
Rather than roaming further, Maddox turned around. He and Naught agreed to meet where he’d parked, and his brother should be there soon. He’d wait in the shade under one of the oak trees that lined the banks of the creek.
Between his conversation with Alex, and then seeing his brother’s doppelganger in Harmony, he needed a rest alongside the water. Maybe its flow would ease the ache he felt deep in his soul.
He must’ve fallen asleep, because the sound of his brother’s motorcycle jarred him awake. The vintage BMW was worth a fortune, yet Naughton rode it around the hills of wine country like a dirt bike.
A thin layer of dry dirt from his nap by the creek clung to him like film. Maddox stood and swatted at his jeans to brush it off.
“See?” Naughton said, as though the dirt held the answer to a mystery.
“See what?”
“It’s good stuff. Dryer than the Sahara, but it’s what’s in the soil that makes it stick.”
Maddox’s degree was in the science of enology—winemaking. Naughton was the environmental scientist. He specialized in viticulture, but it was the rest of his training that would help them figure out how to make something grow on the neglected land.
“Follow me.” Naughton led him over rolling hills, pointing out different vineyards and what had been planted in them. They crested a hill, and a grove of trees.
“Get ready,” Naughton told him.
The trees gave way to a view that brought Maddox to his knees. Before him was the majestic Pacific Ocean, one hundred and eighty degrees of the most magnificent view he’d ever seen. Even the view on the south side of the highway that looked out over Morro Bay wasn’t as breathtaking as this.
“Is this what Kade said I’d discover?”
Naughton shook his head, and motioned for Maddox to follow. The land had a drastic slope on the western side, but in this
case, that was a very good thing. It made hiking difficult, but the amount of vineyard area that would directly benefit from the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the ocean breezes, was more than he could’ve dreamed existed in this part of the country. These were among the best growing conditions he’d ever seen for Pinot Noir.
“Come on,” Naught hollered. “Keep up.”
His brother was a ways ahead of him, but Maddox refused to hurry. He was tempted to sit where he stood and simply watch the deep blue water, that looked almost black from this distance, flow to the shore and back out again.
The water looked calm from here, although he guessed the crashing waves were easily over ten foot, maybe more than twenty. He closed his eyes and breathed in the salty air, wishing Kade had shown him this when he was still alive, so they could’ve enjoyed this moment together. He opened his eyes and looked at the sky, a much lighter blue than the ocean, but no less vivid. The prevailing winds moved the billowing clouds further inland quickly. Maddox shielded his eyes from the sun, and saw Naughton standing below, looking up at him.
“Are you coming?” he shouted, sounding more like his little brother of thirty years ago.
Maddox took one more deep breath, wishing Alex was with him today—wishing she’d been at his side the first time he saw this view. There was a big rock near the edge of what had once been rows of vineyard. He picked it up and brought it back to the place he’d been standing, vowing to bring her back with him, so she could see the view from the same perspective he had.
“There’s more down here,” Naughton shouted.
“Okay, okay.” Maddox laughed, and made his way down the steep terrain. When he got to the place Naughton waited, his brother pointed to the right. Maddox followed, and saw what Naught was in such a hurry for him to see. A cave, and not a small one. This cave was man-made, like the ones on Butler Ranch. No telling what treasures it held.
“What’s in there?” Maddox asked.
“Dunno.”
“Hey, Naught, why’d you wait? Why not tell me about this land right after Kade died?”
The Truce (Butler Ranch Book 2) Page 7