To Love & Betray

by Shelly Ellis

  “And you know that for sure now?”

  He nodded again. “Took a DNA test on Tuesday. Ninety-nine point five percent chance that he’s mine.”

  She closed her eyes at the news and involuntarily rested her cheek on the baby’s crown. Duncan’s lids were growing heavier and heavier. He looked like he was finally drifting off to sleep.

  “I should’ve used a condom,” Terrence continued. “I thought I did, but . . . but both of us were pretty drunk that night. Maybe the condom broke. Either way, it wasn’t good decision making on my part. I know that. But I was just so hurt and pissed off after I caught you with that son of a . . .”

  She raised her eyes to glare at him, stopping him midsentence.

  “Which I know now that you two weren’t hooking up,” he said, quickly correcting himself, “but I didn’t know it at the time, is what I mean. Well, anyway, I thought it would be a one-night stand with Daphne that would make me feel better. But it didn’t. Then Daphne got pregnant.” He stared at his hands. “She said she reached out to me not just because I was Duncan’s father but because she had nowhere else to go. She didn’t tell me at the time but she’s . . . she’s married. When she found out she was pregnant with Duncan, she thought it was her husband’s baby—until he was born. Then she could see her son wasn’t his. They both could,” he said, gesturing to the curly-haired, café au lait baby C. J. held. “The shit really hit the fan, and her husband kicked her out of the house.”

  C. J.’s hand stilled on the baby’s back. “Oh, God!”

  “It gets worse.” He sighed. “She told me her family are conservative Mormons and don’t believe in that shit. They didn’t like the fact that she cheated, and she thinks they liked it even less that she cheated with some black dude. They told her to forget their numbers, to pretend like they never existed.”

  “They cast her out,” C. J. whispered, feeling sympathy for Daphne that she didn’t want to feel.

  C. J. knew what it was like to be excommunicated from her family. Daphne had lied and cheated on her husband, but had that warranted her mother and father turning their backs on her completely—especially now that she was alone and a new mom?

  “She and Duncan need my help. She doesn’t have any more money saved and no real place to live. She’s been hopping from friends’ houses to hotels, but that’s not a way to raise a baby. I’m putting them up in an apartment. I’m giving her money now to take care of Duncan. I don’t know how you . . . you feel about that, but it’s . . .” He took a shaky breath. “It’s not something I can compromise on. I have to take care of my son!”

  “And I wouldn’t expect any less of you,” she answered softly.

  “So if you . . . if you decided to take me back, that would be the situation we’d be facing. It would mean having me—and Duncan. We’re a package deal now. You need to know that.”

  The room fell quiet. All C. J. could hear was Duncan’s soft breaths against her ear.

  “Duncan’s asleep,” she whispered. “Do you have somewhere that I can lay him?”

  “Yeah . . . uh . . . Daphne brought one of those . . . uh . . . bassinet thingies. I set it up in the bedroom.”

  She gradually rose to her feet and crept toward the bedroom. Terrence trailed behind her. When they reached the bedroom entryway, he walked around her and turned on one of the night table lamps. She laid the baby on his back in yellow bassinet. It was hard to believe he had been screaming his head off only minutes ago. He looked so peaceful. His round face looked almost angelic.

  She and Terrence walked back into the hall.

  “We should check on him every fifteen minutes or so,” C. J. whispered over her shoulder as she eased the bedroom door shut, “to make sure he doesn’t—”

  “We? So you’re staying?”

  “Sure! I’ll stay to help you with Duncan if you—”

  “You know that’s not what I meant. Are you staying, C. J.? Are you coming back?”

  C. J. winced. So they were now back to the reason she had come to his condo in the first place.

  “I need to know, baby,” Terrence pleaded. He clasped her shoulders and squeezed them tight. When she looked up, she saw pure desperation in his eyes. “Just tell me! You can’t keep me in limbo forever.”

  Grudgingly, she nodded. “I know . . . and I wasn’t trying to.”

  “Our wedding is in a week,” he argued. “A week, C. J.! You didn’t call it off, so I held out hope you’d take me back . . . that you’d still want to get married. But . . . but I don’t know what to think.”

  She glanced down at her engagement ring, running her finger over the solitaire diamond. She exhaled and looked up at him again. “I know. I just—”

  “I mean . . . Should we start making phone calls? Sending back gifts? We have people flying in for our wedding. I don’t want them to show up to the venue and no one’s there!”

  “I know, Terry. Like, I said . . . I wasn’t trying to—”

  “The only person I told the truth about what happened was Ev, but even my friends are starting to suspect something’s up, C. J.,” he rambled on. “I canceled the bachelor party because I wasn’t in the mood to get drunk and smoke cigars when I didn’t even know if the woman I love more than . . . more than anything still loved me!”

  “Terry . . .” she began patiently.

  “You wouldn’t call me back. You wouldn’t see me! I know I fucked up, but . . . but you’re killing me! You’re straight up killing me, babe!”

  She closed her eyes. His words were increasing in speed and intensity. It was as if he believed that if he kept talking and made his case, it increased his chances of winning her over. “Look, Terry, I—”

  “Ev said I had to give you space. I had to give you time to decide what you wanted to do. I can’t force your hand. I know that! But, babe, I’m begging you to give me another chance. I will drop to my damn knees right here in the hallway and do it if I have to!” he said, pointing down to the hardwood floor. “And I know I asked you to forgive me before, only to fuck up again, but I swear this time I—”

  “Terry, stop! Just stop, okay?” She held up her hands. “Let me talk for a second.”

  He instantly quieted. She pursed her lips, not knowing where to start.

  I guess the best starting point is at the beginning, she thought. She swallowed.

  “When I . . . when I was a little girl,” she began, “I had this . . . this dream of what my wedding day would be like. I’d wear my mom’s old wedding gown. My dad would walk me down the aisle. And I’d be marrying a man who was basically the . . . the black version of Prince Charming. He’d sweep me off my feet. Say and do all the right things. He would be perfect . . . absolutely perfect. That entire day would be perfect!”

  A tear trickled onto her cheek at those memories. She sniffed.

  “But none of that’s happening. I’m not wearing my mother’s wedding gown. My dad isn’t walking me down the aisle. And though you’re fine as hell, you are no Prince Charming, Terry.”

  He grimaced.

  “But I’m no deluded princess, either. I don’t want Prince Charming. I don’t want perfection. I just . . . I just want to spend my life with you. And I don’t ca—”

  She didn’t get to finish. She didn’t need to finish. She’d already said the part he’d been waiting to hear.

  Terrence clasped both sides of her face and lowered his mouth to hers. They kissed, and relief flooded over her. He pressed her back against the wall, and the kiss deepened. They started panting as they clung to each other, and C. J. had to force herself to pull back, to tear her lips away from his.

  “I missed you, too,” she whispered, “but there’s a baby five feet away. Keep it PG—at least until he goes home with his mommy.”

  Terrence nodded, still gazing down at her. He smirked. “So that’s the other up side of parenting? Getting cock-blocked?” His smirk suddenly disappeared. His face went somber. “I was worried that telling you the truth about Duncan . . . about h
ow I’ve decided to accept him and make a place for him in my life would be the final thing to push you away.”

  “Oh, Terry,” C. J. raised a hand to his cheek and shook her head, “you don’t know me at all, do you? Baby . . . that was the thing that convinced me to stay.”

  At that, he leaned his forehead against hers, closed his eyes, and embraced her.

  Chapter 26

  Evan

  Evan gazed into his closet mirror, adjusted his silk necktie, and smiled.

  Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty, I am free at last, he thought.

  He had gotten word from his lawyer yesterday that the commonwealth attorney had filed the paperwork and officially dropped all charges against him. And tonight, he and Leila were celebrating his freedom with a romantic dinner in Chesterton. Evan had already shared the good news with Terrence and Paulette. Terrence had, in turn, shared some good news of his own.

  “She took me back,” he had told Evan by phone. “C. J. forgave me, Ev. She still wants to get married despite all the shit I’ve put her through, and I’m . . . I’m amazed, man. I’m so lucky to have her back in my life!”

  Evan concurred. They were all extremely lucky that their lives were turning out for the better. Terrence would walk down the aisle with the love of his life, and Evan wouldn’t have to worry anymore about being taken away from his wife or his family. He could remain CEO of Murdoch Conglomerated rather than release control of their father’s legacy to a stranger. Now that the family and the family business was no longer on the brink of catastrophe, Aunt Ida had announced that she and Michael would be leaving Murdoch Mansion and returning to her apartment on L’Avenue de Ségur in Paris.

  “I know you all will be so sad to see me go,” she had joked.

  The dust was finally starting to settle, and life was returning to normal.

  “Let’s hope it stays that way,” Evan muttered aloud before giving his reflection one last examination. He then turned to the closet doorway.

  “Lee?” Evan called as he adjusted the lapels of his suit jacket. “Lee, are you almost ready, baby?”

  He walked into their bedroom and found her standing next to their bed with the zipper at the back of her dress half open and her shawl tossed on the footstool. Her back was facing him, but he could see that she was staring down at something in her hand.

  “Baby, what are you doing? I thought you were getting dressed!” He walked toward her and wrapped his arm around her waist. He lightly kissed her neck, inhaling the scent of jasmine and vanilla, before peering over her shoulder. “We better get going if we’re going to make our reserva—”

  His words faded when he saw what she was staring at—his cell phone screen.

  “Don’t mention it, Ev. I was happy to do it for you,” Leila read aloud in a theatrical breathy voice. “To the world, I may not be Mrs. Murdoch anymore, but I . . .” Leila’s voice faltered. She audibly swallowed. “I will always be in my heart.”

  He dropped his arm from around Leila as she turned to face him and brandished his cell phone, showing him the text message from Charisse.

  He had sent her a text earlier today to thank her for all that she had done for him. He guessed she had finally responded to his message. Unfortunately, it looked like Leila had seen the text before he had.

  His brow knitted together. He snatched his cell out of her hand. “Since when did you start checking my phone messages?”

  “Since you started lying to me,” she spat, crossing her arms over her chest. “You told me you weren’t ever going to talk to her anymore!”

  “I never said that, Lee.”

  “You told me that you guys were done!”

  “We are done!”

  “Then why is she still texting you? What the hell kind of message was that?”

  He fell silent, forcing himself to remain calm. He could feed into her fury with his own anger, but it would accomplish nothing.

  “Baby, please . . . please don’t do this.”

  “Don’t do this? Don’t do this?” she yelled.

  “We’re in a good place. Things are finally getting better. Look, let’s just forget about this. Table it for now. Let’s go out and—”

  “I found out that you’re sending texts back and forth with your ex-wife and you expect me to ‘table it’? You want me to shrug it off and just go out to dinner with you? Are you fucking out of your mind?”

  “But it’s not what it looks like! It’s—”

  “I love you, Evan, and I’ve put up with a lot because of it. Your wife has spread rumors about me around town. She had kids bullying Izzy at school because of it! I wanted to march to her house and beat the shit out of her, but did I do it? No! I held back. Because I thought it was the right thing to do. You kissed her, for God’s sake, and I forgave you!”

  He grimaced and lowered his eyes to the carpeted floor.

  “I forgave you because I wanted to try to make it work. I’ve accepted all your excuses and your explanations, but not anymore. I’ve been pushed as far as I’m gonna go with this bitch! She isn’t even your wife anymore, Ev! I am,” she said, pointing to her chest. “You don’t have children together! You’re not in business together! I don’t want anything to do with her. I don’t want you to have anything to with her, either!”

  He shook his head again. “It wasn’t like that, Lee. I sent her a text message thanking her for something she did . . . something big. She sent a message back! That doesn’t mean I want her and me to get back together! I love you. I want you! I made one mistake and I admitted it. Are you always going to question me?”

  “No more phone calls. No more texts,” she continued, like she hadn’t heard him. “I don’t want her to even send a fucking birthday card to this house! I want her out of our lives! Do you hear me?”

  “She’s my ex-wife, Lee, but we live in the same town! I can’t completely avoid her. That’s not realistic!”

  He watched as she lowered the zipper of her dress down her back. He guessed they wouldn’t be going out to dinner tonight after all.

  “No, Ev, what’s not realistic is that you’re still friendly with a woman who cheated on you, who tried to destroy me and turn everyone in town against me! I’ve been a good fucking wife to you, Evan Murdoch! I deserve your allegiance. Not that bitch!”

  “Lee, she saved my ass!” he argued, making her suck her teeth. “Believe it or not, I’m standing here with you right now because of what Charisse did! I could be sitting in a courtroom on trial for attempted murder or in jail if she hadn’t seduced Dante and duped him into spilling his guts. She was the one who told the prosecutor the truth about what happened! All right? She recorded their conversations and got the case thrown out. She didn’t have to do that!”

  “So she seduces Dante and earns your undying loyalty?” Leila let out a caustic laugh. “Well, if that’s the case, then maybe I should’ve fucked him, too, when I had the chance! Stupid me . . . All I did was jerk him off! But I guess I didn’t count on you being so appreciative,” she snarled.

  Evan blinked. All the blood drained from his head. The overhead lights in their bedroom seemed to dim then flare up again. He stared at her for several seconds, struck dumb. He watched as Leila turned away from him.

  “W-wh-what . . . what did you say?” he finally stuttered.

  “You heard me!” she snapped as she pushed her dress off her shoulders and down her torso. She removed the diamond teardrop earrings that he had given her on their wedding day. She walked toward her dresser and hurled the earrings onto the mahogany dresser top with contempt.

  “So it . . . it was true. What . . . what Dante said you did . . . all that shit he was talking? You really did it? You lied to me, Lee!”

  She turned back around to face him. Her expression was cold and remote, almost smug. The look conveyed that she didn’t give a damn how much she was hurting him, how her words were ripping him apart limb from limb.

  This wasn’t the Leila that he had adored and loved s
ince childhood. She had morphed into someone else—a person he didn’t recognize.

  She shrugged. “So what if I did lie, Evan? I wouldn’t be the first person in this family to lie, now would I?”

  She then turned back around and continued to remove her jewelry.

  After she said that, everything seemed to speed up and slow down simultaneously. Evan didn’t have any cohesive thoughts as he marched around the footstool and grabbed her arm, making her shout out in alarm.

  “Let go of me!” she yelled.

  But he didn’t let go. Instead, he grabbed her other arm and shook her like a rag doll.

  “What the fuck do you mean you lied? I trusted you, Lee, and you lied to me? You let that motherfucka touch you!” he bellowed, curling his lips in disgust. “How could you do that shit to me? I loved you! I trusted you!”

  The wrath had come over him so quickly, like a bomb had been set off inside him and his actions were the resulting explosion.

  She tried to shove away from him and instead fell back onto the bed. He pounced on her, even as she tried to crawl away. He grabbed her dress and pulled, ripping the seam, shredding the hem. He grabbed her ankle and dragged her back across the bedsheets, making her scream.

  “Why him, huh? Why him, Lee?”

  She slapped and kicked to get him off of her, but he was the stronger of the two. He pinned her down to the mattress, pressing his full weight on top of her as she pled for him to stop, to let her go.

  “You wanted to get back at me for that shit with Charisse? Is that it?” he hissed. His vision had gone completely red. “Why the fuck would you do this to me?”

  What else had she lied about? What else had Leila done while he was stuck in a prison cell dreaming of her every night? Suddenly, Evan was flooded with lurid visions of his wife with Dante, with all the things they’d done in that hotel room.

  Unable to get away from Evan, Leila turned her head instead, squeezing her eyes shut as she whimpered and cried. He knew at that moment he seemed utterly terrifying. He was certainly scaring himself. But he wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. He would make her pay for this betrayal. Tears wouldn’t work. Screams wouldn’t, either. There was no way she would escape this.