by Eden Summers
How was he supposed to react? How? His friends were fucking morons.
“I’m not even going to ask.” Mason tested the door handle and nodded at a job well done. “I don’t think demon woman will get through that.”
“Then I think we have a problem.” Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Because the woman you’re trying to keep out, is the one I need to go after.”
They all glared at him.
“You’re not exposing our hiding place. Whatever it is can wait.” Mitch sank into a chair and kicked a leg over the arm rest. “Leah’s not in her right mind, anyway. It’s like PMS, hysteria, and bipolar all rolled into a package of heels, tits, and flawless make-up.”
It didn’t matter. If Felicity was right, he didn’t want to give Leah another second thinking he was letting her walk away. He had to bridge the gap. At least temporarily. Until he worked out a plan that made everything fall into place. “I’ve seen her at her worst. It won’t bother me.”
He made for the door and Sean stepped in front of him.
“You’ve seen her at her worst, but have you witnessed her Jekyll and Hyde impersonation? Because since this morning, she’s got that shit down pat.”
“And I’m not pointing fingers,” Mason added. “But I think we’re all pretty clear on who should be taking the full brunt of this ass reaming.”
Ryan turned to face everyone, arms wide. “Then let me out. I’ll take it.”
“Or will you make it worse, my little grasshopper?” Mason tented his fingers in front of his chest and tapped them together. “Why do you need to see her so urgently?”
Admitting he may have made an error in judgment wasn’t on the top of his to-do list. They would slay him. Verbally, at least. Then again, they may confirm he hadn’t made a mistake after all. “I think I fucked up.”
“Clearly,” Mitch drawled. “You have a fake girlfriend, impregnated the wrong woman, and ditched the one you were supposed to keep. What’s your point?”
“I didn’t ditch Leah. She was the one who told me to take time to think about what I wanted.”
Blake stepped forward. “I thought you were the one who asked for space.”
“No.” He shook his head. “The baby hasn’t changed the way I feel about her. I’m not going back to married life.”
“Does Julie know that?” Mitch asked.
“Not yet.”
“How about Leah?”
“I told her the day I found out about the baby. And then again on the jet. But she still wanted me to take more time.”
Sean groaned. “No wonder she’s in an epically bitchy mood. You’ve left her hanging.”
Ryan’s heartrate increased. “I gave her what she wanted—time. Space. How can I be in the wrong?”
“For starters, don’t listen to a woman when she says she’s ‘fine,’ or that ‘nothing is wrong,’ or if she ever utters the words ‘I’m not mad’—”
“Or ‘I’m almost ready,’” Mitch added. “That shit is never true.”
“And never, ever believe her if she tells you to take time to think about your relationship.” Mason clucked his tongue and shook his head. “What she’s really saying is ‘do you love me enough to make an on the spot decision about our future?’”
“Umm…” Ryan wasn’t sure if he should be shocked at their insight or petrified that he’d clearly made the wrong move. Either way, he was fucked if these four were now the experts and he was the novice. “Thanks… I guess it’s more important than ever to go find her.”
“Touch that chair and I’ll be forced to hurt you.” Sean cracked his knuckles, not an ounce of humor in his features.
“But you just said—”
“We said you fucked up,” Mason muttered. “We didn’t say we were letting you expose our cavern of protection.”
Sean inched closer to the door. “She’s in Lord-of-the-Flies mode and we all refuse to be Piggy.”
“But what we can do,” Blake drawled, “is help you find those balls of yours so you can tell her how it’s going to be.”
Fucking morons. He couldn’t understand how they weren’t laughing through the pitiful misogyny. It didn’t matter, though, because he already knew they weren’t going to let him out. Not without a fight.
“Fine.” He slumped onto the nearest chair, resigned to wait it out. “In all your infinite wisdom, please tell me exactly how I’m going to get Leah back.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Leah’s feet were killing her. She hadn’t walked this much in years, but the back and forth from the dressing room to the parking lot was well worth the blisters. The stadium had been surrounded by fans hours before Slicker took the stage. Now, with ticket holders inside, the people outside were still amassing to see the live performance feed.
Scott had already emailed her with a report to show Slicker’s sales had increased over the last hour. Their social media followers had, too. Volunteers were handing out promotional items to those who downloaded on the spot, and although there would be hell to pay for the stack of Reckless posters left unsigned, she was sure her men would work the crowd into a frenzy once they walked on stage and blew their chart target out of the water.
Everything was working seamlessly.
So why did it feel like the world was ending?
Ryan had done what she wanted. He’d given her space. But all the distance achieved was heartache. Her anxiety was out of control. Her mood mimicked a heartrate monitor. Up, down, up, down. She couldn’t cement the professionalism she’d always clung to. It was elusive, hiding behind a sea of tears and a blanket of nausea.
Tomorrow would be worse.
Even if they successfully removed the Slicker burden, Ryan’s fake relationship with Felicity would be replaced with an announcement of an unborn child from his real wife. A charade would be interchanged with something more tangible and destructive.
“Leah?” a voice called through her ear-piece.
She paused in the middle of the hall and pressed a finger to the device to respond. “Yeah?”
“I’ve got a stack of people trying to get backstage. Did you organize some sort of pre-show event I don’t know about?”
“No.” She continued down the hall. “It’s the same as usual. The last thing we need is more people back here.”
“Some are adamant.”
“I don’t care. If they don’t have a pass, they don’t get backstage.”
“Roger that.”
She stopped outside the Reckless dressing room and tapped her knuckles against the wood before letting herself in. They were immersed in laughter as she entered, all their faces alight, the flashes of teeth, dimples and smirks unwavering as they turned their attention to her.
“Evenin’, Cruella.” Mason stood beside the refreshment table, a bottle of water in his hand.
The rest of them were lounging in different positions. Mitch was seated on a backward wooden chair. Sean was laying on the sofa. Blake had a hip cocked against the armrest. And Ryan… He was in the far corner of the room, leaning against the dressing table counter.
She didn’t meet his gaze. Couldn’t. Not tonight.
“Are you all ready?” They stared at her and smiled from an unknown high she hoped wasn’t drug related. “Why do you all look overly excited?”
“’Cause it’s an exciting kind of night,” Mitch drawled.
Sean sat up and pulled a pair of drumsticks from his back pocket to twirl in his fingers. “You look nervous.”
Good. Exuding nervousness was better than the heartbreak she was trying to hide. “Once tonight is over, I’ll be fine.”
“Thank fuck for that,” Blake muttered.
Mitch snorted.
She made a mental note to retaliate in the near future. “Do you all remember the drill for tonight?”
“Yep.” Mason took a gulp from a water bottle and nodded. “Do whatever it takes to encourage downloads. Exchange sales for posters. Offer to sing more songs. Sell off sexual favors.”
“I think you can hold off on the sex.” Sean continued to twirl his sticks. “We don’t want people demanding their money back.”
“For once, can we please take this seriously?” She sighed. “We’ve got a lot riding on the success of tonight’s show.”
“Don’t fret.” Mason smirked. “I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve to ensure Slicker’s spot on a chart.”
“A few tricks?” His involvement in the business side of things was never good. The arrogance he expelled always burned bridges she had to mend. More work. More unease. “What have you done?”
“A magician never reveals his secrets.”
“For fuck’s sake, Mason.” She was living on exacerbated hormones, little sleep, and a lack of sustenance because stress continued to make her nauseated. And he thought taunting her was a good idea? “If you don’t quit increasing my anxiety, this magician is going to pull your lungs out of your ass, and I’m more than happy to reveal how I plan to do it.”
Mitch snickered.
Sean chuckled.
Ryan cleared his throat.
“Point taken.” Mason took two steps and slumped into a seat, a grin fighting to break free from the corner of his lips.
Why were they all sporting jovial moods? Usually they were in the zone before a show. Focused and stoic. They had to be up to something. Or on something.
A shout of “five minutes” came from the hall and the men began to move. Sean stood. Mason made for the bathroom. Mitch and Blake headed for the refreshment table and grabbed bottles of water. The only one who didn’t budge was Ryan. He remained in her periphery. A solid rock in a flowing stream.
“Can I talk to you?”
She pretended he wasn’t addressing her.
“Leah,” he murmured, his voice barely heard over the flushing toilet from the bathroom.
She played with her ear-piece and ignored her panic as Blake and Mitch walked into the hall.
“Leah,” he repeated, this time louder.
Reluctantly, she met his gaze and held her breath through the pain of it. Every time their eyes met her entire body reacted—heart, mind—even her soul.
“Can you come over here for a minute?”
She remained in place, unwilling to move. “What’s up?”
His lips quirked. “Come here.” There was a demand in his voice now, the subtlest insistence she couldn’t deny.
She sighed, trying to simulate frustration when her throat was closing from yearning, and strode toward him. “Is something wrong?”
From the corner of her eye, she watched Sean leave the room. Then Mason was heading for the door, about to leave them in dangerous solitude.
“Good luck, Ry.”
Good luck? She shot a frantic glance to Mason as he reached for the door handle. All he did was laugh before escaping. Shit. They were definitely up to something.
She paused a few feet from Ryan’s position against the counter and met her reflection in the mirror behind him. She looked calm. Almost in control. Until he lunged for her, one arm weaving around her waist to pull her into his position against the counter.
She froze, every muscle tight.
“Ryan.” She poised to push away from him, her palms on his muscled chest, her heart gagging her throat.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Can you tell me while we’re not touching?” She tried to laugh off the situation and failed when it came out as a whimper.
“No. I need your full focus.”
“Well, you’ve certainly got it.”
That grin continued to beam back at her, a tiny glimmer of wickedness shining around the rough appeal of his short beard. “I wanted to tell you I’m calling Julie after the show.”
“OK…” She swallowed.
“I’m letting her know there’s no chance I’m moving back in with her.”
“OK…” She swallowed again.
“What I’m not going to tell her, is that from now on, I’ll be with you.” Those eyes gleamed at her, honest and true. Their depths filled with unwarranted confidence.
“Ryan…” Her ear-piece crackled and one of the security guards spoke her name. She pressed the talk-back button and tilted her face from Ryan’s. “What is it?”
“I’m still having problems with a woman demanding to get backstage. I’m not sure if I should have her removed from the premises.”
“I’ll be there in a minute.” She yanked the ear-piece out and let it hang over her shoulder. “I need to go.”
“Wait.” Ryan wiped a stray strand of hair from her cheek, his fingertips inspiring tingles all the way down her neck. “I love you, Leah. There’s no point wasting more of our time trying to find excuses. We need to make this work, no matter what it takes.” He edged closer, their noses a mere inch apart, their breath mingling. “We snuck around before. We can do it again.”
There was a loud knock on the door followed by a hollered, “Two-minute call.”
She stiffened and tried to pull away, her attempt failing due to the strong arm wrapped around her. “We’ll discuss this later.” In weeks. After the tour ended.
His fingers caressed her cheek, her chin, her neck. “There’s nothing to discuss. I only wanted to prepare you.” His tempting lips turned somber, no humor, no comfort. Only sincerity. “After the show you’ll be on my bus. In my bed. In my arms. The rest will sort itself out.” He bridged the distance between them, his beard scraping her jaw as he whispered in her ear. “You and me. Forever.”
She closed her eyes and whimpered at the press of his mouth below her ear. “But my job…”
“We’ll sort it out.” He placed another scorching kiss to her skin.
“The baby…”
“We’ll sort it out.” His lips brushed her throat.
“No.” She shook her head but couldn’t tear herself away. “I can’t think when we’re together. I can’t do my job.”
“We’ll…” He nipped her skin. “Work…” He bit. “It…” He sucked. “Out.”
She felt the sensations all the way through her chest. From the peaks of her nipples, then lower, to the newly forming pulse in her clit.
There was another shout from outside, this one garbled.
“You better go.”
He nodded, his arm still around her.
“Tell me you love me.”
She didn’t want to. The admission would be a sign of surrender, when she wasn’t done fighting.
“Tell me,” he whispered. “Because I can already see it in your eyes.”
“Ryan, it’s better if we wait until the end of the tour.”
He grinned, unfazed by the rejection. The beauty of his expression stole her breath. This man was sweet and loving and protective. He was happiness personified. The temptation she may soon be willing to risk absolutely everything for.
“We can talk la—” Her words vanished as the door flew open.
She shoved from his chest, her gaze flying to the mirror and the reflection of the woman now standing in the doorway, a security guard rushing in behind her.
“I’m sorry, Leah.” The guard ignored the compromising position before him. “I didn’t want to risk manhandling a pregnant woman.”
“It’s OK,” she lied, because clearly, everything was horribly wrong. She stepped away from Ryan and focused on Julie, the familiar face now a mix of shock, pain, and anger that transformed her features like a kaleidoscope. “We can take it from here.”
The guard slinked away as Julie crossed her arms over her chest, pulling the loose top tight over the small mound of her belly. “Why am I not surprised?”
“You shouldn’t be here.” Ryan strode forward, approaching his wife. “You said you’d lay low until the announcement.”
“I did lay low. Now I’m here so we can share the news together. Obviously, I didn’t realize I’d be interrupting something. At least not with her.” Julie wrinkled her nose. “I guess my years of jealousy were justified.”
A dull throb fo
rmed in Leah’s brain. Another anxiety attack waiting on the periphery. This was the end. Her position as band manager was seized by the hangman’s noose. Eviscerated with the opening of a door. There’d be no more Ryan. No more Reckless. No more life filled with achievements.
She’d fucked up.
She’d failed.
Again.
She turned her back to Ryan and Julie, their conversation drowned from the hysteria taking over her mind. Bile bubbled up her throat. She closed her eyes. Swayed.
“Leah, are you OK?” Ryan grabbed her arms and lowered to eye level.
“Yeah. Of course.” She blinked up at him, pretending, like always, and then turned to take in the empty room. “Where’s Julie?”
“She ran. I have to go after her.” He scrutinized her. So much dreary desolation in one handsome face. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t say anything.”
She nodded through the doubt. Julie would take pleasure in sharing what she’d walked in on. Without hesitation. “Go. I’ll stall the performance.”
He smashed his lips to hers, quick and hard, but still there was no relief. Only anger at herself for causing this mess. When he pulled away she waited, watching him leave before she dragged her feet from the room.
“I’m sorry, Leah.” The security guard was waiting in the hall, his brows drawn tight. “I didn’t want to physically restrain her, and I wasn’t even sure she was telling the truth about being Ryan’s wife. I’ve never seen her at a concert before.”
“Forget about it. You did the right thing.” She’d been the one in the wrong. At each and every turn since Ryan first kissed her in Richmond.
“I’m not going to say anything,” he added. “I mean…about what I walked in on.”
“Thanks.” She slunk away, hiding her wince from view. His silence wouldn’t matter. Julie’s enthusiasm would be enough to convince Leah’s boss of the breach in contract. Especially when Ryan’s wife had already set the ball rolling last week with the online interview.
The fooling around was over. It had to be.
She was too damn tired. Too drained.
The years of fighting her love for him, then battling to keep their shared feelings a secret had taken their toll. The collateral damage was piling up. She had to bow out. Now. While there was still one preemptive strike available to help salvage everything she’d worked for.