by Maria Realf
‘Me too.’ His voice was warm, relaxed. ‘What are you up to this week?’
‘Nothing, really. I think it’s the first week in months we haven’t had a million jobs to do. You?’
‘Not much. But I’m coming up on Thursday to check out a gig in Camden with Sam. There’s this great band playing.’ The line went quiet for a second. ‘You know what, you should come with us. Bring your fiancé. I’m going to have to meet the guy sometime, right?’
‘Right,’ mumbled Lizzie, her shoulders tensing. ‘I guess so. What night did you say it was?’
‘Thursday.’
‘Oh, Josh can’t do Thursdays. He’s got his five-a-side thing.’
‘With the kids?’
‘No, with his mates.’ It wasn’t often that his football team proved useful, but she was grateful for small mercies. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that it would be better to introduce the two of them after the wedding. ‘Another time, though.’
‘Well, why don’t you come?’ said Alex. ‘If Josh is out anyway there’s no point you staying home all by yourself. Plus you can meet Sam properly.’
She mulled over his offer. Why not? It had been ages since she’d been to a proper gig, and it might be fun to have a change of scene. ‘It’s not like that awful death metal band Connor made us watch, is it?’ she asked.
‘No, it’s a new indie rock group. They’re going to be huge.’ His enthusiasm was catching, even down the phone. ‘You have to branch out from Take That one day, you know.’
‘Hey, leave Take That out of this,’ she laughed. ‘But you’ve twisted my arm. Count me in.’
‘Great, I’ll send you the details. Meet us there around 8.30pm?’
‘OK. See you then.’
By the time Lizzie reached the bar, she could see a long queue snaking out of the front door and around the side. Is Alex already here? She walked to the front and couldn’t spot him, so she slowly made her way back down the disorderly line, trying to squint at people without looking like she was staring.
She hadn’t got far when a hand suddenly shot out and grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her into the melee. She jumped a mile, and was hugely relieved when she looked up and saw Alex’s smiling face. His butterfly stitches from last week had been removed, but he still had a scrape above his eye.
‘Oh good, you’re here,’ she said. ‘You must have been in the queue a while?’
‘Yeah, we were,’ he said. ‘We wanted to try to get a table.’ He was still holding her arm, though he’d loosened his grip. His fingers felt familiar against her skin. ‘Did you find it OK?’
‘Just about. It’s been a while since I came to Camden.’
He released his grasp and introduced her to Sam, who she’d met fleetingly through his car window last weekend. Physically, he was almost the polar opposite of Alex, with dirty blond hair and a smattering of freckles. He was wearing a blue and pink checked shirt that seemed to have a grass stain on it, as if he’d taken it to Glastonbury and forgotten to wash it afterwards. But he had twinkly eyes and a gap-toothed grin that dominated the whole of his face. Lizzie liked him immediately.
‘So how did you two meet?’ she asked. ‘At a gig or something?’
‘No, we first met out in Australia,’ said Sam. ‘This guy taught me how to play the guitar.’ He slapped Alex jovially on the back. ‘We lost contact for years, but then he got back in touch.’
‘That’s cool.’ She smiled. ‘Do both of you still play?’
‘Now and again,’ said Alex. ‘I’m a bit rusty, mind.’
‘I do,’ said Sam. ‘Maybe we should get our guitars out sometime?’
‘Is that a euphemism?’ joked Lizzie. ‘Hey, if it goes well you could start your own boy band …’
‘You wish,’ grinned Alex. They all moved a few steps forwards. ‘I think we’re about 20 years too old to be in a boy band, I’m afraid. But nice try.’
‘Do you play anything?’ asked Sam.
‘Nope, not even the triangle,’ she replied. ‘I’m not exactly musically gifted, unless you count my one and only karaoke performance. Sadly, never to be repeated.’
‘Well, I thought you were sensational,’ said Alex. ‘I’d pay good money to see that again.’
‘Sorry, not gonna happen. Don’t get me wrong, I love music – but it’s purely a spectator sport for me.’
‘Fair enough,’ said Sam. ‘You should come with us next month, though. We’re going to see this awesome band in Hammersmith.’
‘I’d love to, but I can’t,’ she said. They edged forward again. ‘Maybe another time.’
Alex turned to Sam. ‘Lizzie’s getting married soon, so she’ll be away on her honeymoon.’
‘Oh, really?’ said Sam, giving Alex a puzzled glance before switching his focus back to Lizzie. ‘Where are you going?’
‘We’re off to Italy,’ she replied. She and Josh had finally booked it in the week, which was a weight off her mind. The hotel looked amazing.
‘I see.’ Sam dialled his smile back up. ‘Exciting times.’
The three of them reached the front of the queue and handed over their tickets. The doorman took a quick look inside Lizzie’s bag before waving them through. She was secretly disappointed he didn’t ask her for ID. Back at uni she used to hate getting carded, but now she’d have taken it as a massive compliment. Lucky Megan had been stopped at the supermarket last month while trying to buy a bottle of Bacardi. Must be those anti-ageing creams she’s always being sent.
Inside the dark bar, the anticipation was building, with fans already pushing their way towards the stage for a front-row spot while the support act played an acoustic set. Lizzie took out her wallet, checked the rest of her bag into the cloakroom, then followed the boys to a wooden table by the side. The chairs seemed so old that they could almost have been classed as antiques.
‘Right, who wants what?’ said Alex, resting his left elbow on the table. The whole thing wobbled so hard it almost tipped over. He picked up a beer mat, folded it in half twice and jammed it under the offending leg.
‘I’ll take a pint of Foster’s, mate,’ said Sam.
‘Ah, you can take the lad out of Australia …’ joked Alex. ‘Lizzie? Please don’t make me ask for a passionfruit mojito.’
‘Er, I might try a Foster’s myself,’ she said. It didn’t look like the sort of place that was going to have a cocktail list.
‘Really?’ said Alex, his eyes glinting. ‘Since when did you start drinking lager?’
Since now, she thought, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. ‘There’s still some things you don’t know about me, Alex Jackson.’
‘Is that so? Alright, back in a sec.’ He stood up and walked to the bar, looking as relaxed as his loose-fit jeans. He seemed at home here among the other musos, like he’d been released back into his natural habitat. She realised she was still watching him as she heard Sam speaking to her.
‘This should be good,’ he said. ‘I’m glad you could make it. I’ve heard a lot about the famous Lizzie Sparkes.’
‘Really?’ She felt her face flush a little. I wonder what Alex said?
‘Don’t think he told me how you met, though. Was it at school or university?’
‘Uni,’ she said. ‘Actually, it was in a place sort of like this. I spilled about five drinks down him.’
‘That’s a novel icebreaker,’ he said. ‘Maybe I should try that one tonight.’
‘So you’re single?’ She tried to work out what Megan would make of him. He was attractive in a quirky kind of way, though he wasn’t groomed to within an inch of his life like most of the blokes she went out with.
‘Yeah, nearly six months now. I caught my last girlfriend messing around with our gardener. Such a cliché.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said sympathetically. ‘That sucks.’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘It took me ages to find a good gardener.’
Lizzie smiled. ‘Obviously she wasn’t The One.’
‘Guess not,’ he said. ‘Still, I don’t think I’ll meet many women hanging out with Alex, will I? He gets all the attention. Look.’ He gestured to the bar where a raven-haired glamazon in wet-look leggings was pawing at Alex’s arm, throwing her head back with laughter.
‘I … I don’t think she’s his type,’ Lizzie stuttered, suddenly realising she didn’t know what his type was any more. She looked down at her favourite black jeans and lace-trimmed T-shirt and wondered if she might be underdressed.
‘She’d definitely be my type,’ said Sam. ‘I’m not sure how he does it. Must be the whole hard-to-get thing. You know, some days I’d almost hate him if he wasn’t such a damn nice guy. Which is incredible given everything he’s …’ He changed the subject abruptly as Alex made his way back to the table, clutching two pints and a water. ‘Hey Alex, aren’t you going to ask your new friend to join us?’
Lizzie decided she was starting to go off him.
‘Who, her? No. Nice girl, but she’s got to be younger than my sister.’
‘I don’t have any sisters,’ said Sam with a wink.
‘Go for it,’ replied Alex. ‘Lizzie and I can watch you in action.’
Sam looked at the girl, then back at the table. ‘Maybe later,’ he said, his face turning almost as pink as his shirt. ‘I’ll have my pint first.’
‘Are you not drinking?’ asked Lizzie, nodding to Alex’s water.
‘No, I’m taking it easy at the moment. The doc says too much alcohol might interfere with my meds.’
‘Oh, OK, sure.’ She kept forgetting he was on medication. He looked so well at the moment. ‘How are you feeling tonight?’
‘I feel pretty good,’ he said. ‘How’s that Foster’s working out?’
Lizzie lifted it to her mouth, the froth tickling her lips. She took a sip, then a bigger one, the lager cold and crisp against her tongue. ‘Yeah, I like it.’
‘Well, pace yourself,’ he teased. ‘I don’t want you throwing up on me again.’
‘Ooh, low blow, Jackson.’ She flicked his shoulder.
‘What’s that?’ asked Sam, curious.
Lizzie set her glass down on the table. ‘Right, I had a tiny bit too much to drink at my 21st birthday …’
‘If, when she says tiny, she means like a small off-licence.’
‘You’re such a liar! Anyway, we were having a bit of a party and—’
Before she could finish the story, the spotlights at the front of the room fired up and the headliners spilled out on to the stage. The crowd cheered loudly, with the hardcore fans leaping up and down as though they’d all acquired pogo sticks. It was an atmosphere unlike any she’d experienced before, and she could sense the excitement in the air. It spread to every inch of the room, intense and infectious.
Her eyes fell on Alex, and she noticed the way he seemed to come alive with the music, his face lit up with an energy she hadn’t seen for years. It reminded her of their first date: how he’d seemed so unstoppable, ready to take on the world before the world had taken everything from him. Seeing him smile like that made her happy, and yet somehow she felt a twinge of sadness, thinking about their sorry past and his uncertain future.
He caught her looking at him, and she quickly turned away, standing to watch the show. Now’s not the time to get sentimental.
She took another swig of her pint, and let the loud song drown out her rambling mind until all that was left was the beat of the music.
Nearly 90 minutes later, Lizzie was having one of the best nights out she’d had in months. Alex had been right: the band were brilliant and she decided she was going to download their album tomorrow.
Less brilliant was the air conditioning – or lack of it – in the bar. By now the place was sweltering and she could feel a bead of sweat starting to run down her neck. Sam had gone off to get his round about ten minutes ago and still not returned. She wondered if he was having any luck with the flirty brunette.
‘I’m really hot,’ she said to Alex between songs.
‘And modest too …’ He smiled.
‘No, I mean I’m boiling over here.’ She waved her hand in front of her face. ‘Aren’t you?’
‘Yeah, it is pretty warm.’ He undid another button on his short-sleeved black shirt, revealing a glimpse of his chest. Lizzie kept her eyes on the stage, trying not to think about all the times she’d undone his shirt in the past. ‘But you know what we have to do now, right?’
‘What?’
‘Get to the front.’
‘Er, how’s that going to cool us down?’
‘It won’t. At all. But it’ll be worth it.’ He cupped his hand around his mouth like a megaphone as the next song started up. ‘Come on!’
‘Alright,’ she shouted. She followed him towards the pack of writhing bodies, all moving to the music with mixed degrees of rhythm.
Alex forged his way forward and she stayed right behind him, not wanting to get lost in the frenzied crowd. It was harder than trying to navigate the Christmas sales with Megan. A flying elbow jabbed her in the ribs and she stumbled slightly, her hand pressing up against Alex’s back. She could feel the heat emanating from him, or perhaps it was coming from her. They were so close now it was hard to tell.
Before they could reach the stage, Alex ran into the girl from the bar again, her hair swinging seductively. She beckoned him closer and purred something in his ear, her feline eyes narrowing. Lizzie couldn’t hear a thing over the music. She knew it wasn’t any of her business, but something about the brazen move bothered her.
For all she knows, me and Alex could be an item.
He bent down and said something with an apologetic smile, gesturing to Lizzie behind him. The girl looked put out but slinked off in the opposite direction, wiggling sexily past him as she went. Lizzie wanted to ask what all that had been about, but they were almost at the front now, the booming tune sweeping her along with its hypnotic hooks.
Finally they broke through the last human barrier, where there was nothing but soundwaves between them and the band. Alex immersed himself in the moment, his arms in the air and a contented smile on his lips as he sang along to the catchy track. Lizzie threw her hands up too, jumping along beside him while the music reverberated through her, the bassline pumping as hard as her pulse. It was a freedom she hadn’t felt for as long as she could remember.
As the spotlights soared, circling the band like a white halo, she suddenly saw a flash of the life they might have had; of how different things could have been.
What happened to us?
She closed her eyes, straining to see the picture play out in her mind, but it had already evaporated before the song came to an end.
The band took a bow to rapturous applause, and the house lights slowly came on. The gig, like the moment, was over.
As the crowd began to file out into the street, Alex offered to walk Lizzie to the taxi rank round the corner. She’d never got a cab all the way back to Surrey from town before, but he insisted on paying for one and in the end it was easier to give in. She had to admit it was nice not to have to rush for the last train.
‘Say bye to Sam for me,’ she said. ‘I’m sure he’ll be out in a minute.’ By the time they’d found their way back to the table, he was snogging a petite blonde in a David Bowie t-shirt, deaf to the pleas of the poor bouncer who was ushering everyone towards the exit.
‘I will.’ They strolled slowly along the pavement, the cool night air a refreshing change from the sweltering bar. ‘I’m really glad you could come along tonight. You look like you enjoyed it.’
‘Yeah, I had a great time,’ she agreed. ‘We’ll have to do it again after the wedding.’
‘Sure.’ He pressed his lips together. ‘Tell your fiancé I’m sorry for keeping you out late. Especially on a school night …’
‘OK,’ she said awkwardly. There was an uneasy silence, interrupted only by a bus going past.
Alex raised his brows. ‘You didn’t tell him you were comin
g out with me tonight, did you?’
How does he do it? Even after all those years apart, Lizzie sometimes couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew her too well.
‘No. No, I didn’t,’ she admitted. ‘I haven’t actually told him about you being back yet. I’m going to do it soon – honestly – but I need to pick my moment. Right before the wedding probably isn’t the best time.’
‘I didn’t realise.’ Alex frowned. ‘You should have said. I don’t want you to have to lie to see me.’
‘I didn’t lie! I told him I was going to a gig with some friends – I just didn’t specify which ones. It’s not the same thing.’
‘You still should have told me if I was making life difficult for you.’
‘You’re not. It’s not a big deal, OK? I’m going to tell Josh, and he’ll be fine with it. But I just want to hang on a few more weeks until everything else quietens down. That’s all.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes.’ She stopped as they reached the rank. There was only one other couple in the queue. ‘Don’t be mad at me. I had such a fun night.’
He gave her a slow smile. ‘You’re very hard to be mad at, you know. And I had fun too.’ A taxi arrived, and the pair in front climbed in. ‘Text me when you get home, won’t you? Just to say you’re back alright.’
‘I will,’ she promised. ‘And I’ll see you soon. But I’m on my hen do next weekend, so it might not be for a bit now.’
‘Alright.’ His face was hard to read in the semi-darkness. ‘Have a great hen do.’
‘I’ll try. I’ll text you before then, anyway.’
Another cab came round the corner, pulling up just past them. Alex leaned over to hug her goodbye, holding her a fraction tighter than she was expecting. She hugged him back, her arms instinctively wrapping around his shoulders the way they had so many times before. For a second she thought she felt him stroke her hair, but then he let her go and she wondered if it had merely been the wind. A breeze skimmed the back of her neck, making her shiver.
‘Right,’ she said, composing herself. ‘I guess I’d better go.’
He opened the car door for her. ‘OK. Catch you later, Andi.’