The One

  Dear Alex, she typed. I just want to say I’m thinking of you. Please don’t give up hope. I know it’s hard for us to stay friends after everything we’ve been through, but it doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop caring. Love Lizzie xx

  Her thumb hovered momentarily over the send button, but she knew there wasn’t much time to lose. Get on with it. She pressed the screen, and her phone emitted a small ping to confirm that the deed had been done.

  She did not expect it to start ringing a few seconds later.

  It was Alex.

  What I am supposed to do now? Should I leave it? Her brain was whirring so fast she felt dizzy. But what if it’s important? How bad would I feel if it’s the last time he calls me and I send him straight to voicemail?

  She gave in and answered it. There was silence on the other end of the line. ‘Alex?’

  Suddenly she heard a loud sob, and what sounded like a female voice. ‘Lizzie, is that you?’

  ‘Yes, who’s this?’ Every inch of her wedding dress suddenly felt as though it was constricting around her. ‘Where … where’s Alex?’

  ‘It’s Andi,’ she said, her voice breaking. ‘I just saw your message and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t realise you and Alex were still close.’

  ‘We … um … kind of made our peace recently,’ she said, all the heat draining out of her body. Will you please just tell me what’s going on?

  ‘That’s good,’ sniffed Andi. ‘He really loved you, you know. We always thought maybe you two might get back together some day.’ She began to wail again.

  Lizzie’s heart went on strike.

  No … he can’t have.

  ‘Andi, what’s happened?’

  Is he dead?

  ‘He collapsed yesterday,’ she cried. ‘We called an ambulance, but he was in a bad way and he was transferred to a specialist unit in London. They’ve operated on him, but the doctors don’t know if … if he’s going to pull through.’

  Lizzie began to tremble all over. ‘Andi, that’s terrible. I don’t know what to say.’

  ‘I think they’ll let you see him if you can get to the hospital? I can text you the postcode. It’s supposed to be family only, but I’m sure they’d make an exception under the circumstances.’

  A swell of nausea began to rise from her stomach to her throat. ‘Actually, Andi, I’m getting married,’ she said softly.

  ‘Oh … I see,’ she sniffed. ‘When’s the wedding?’

  ‘No, I mean I’m getting married today!’

  ‘You’re what?’

  ‘I’m getting married now. Well, in about 15 minutes. But then we leave straight for the airport. I won’t be back for a fortnight.’

  ‘Oh, Lizzie, I had no idea!’ said Andi. ‘I’d never have called you if I’d known it was your wedding day. Now I feel awful.’ She began to cry even louder.

  ‘No, please don’t. You’re absolutely right to tell me. Please send over the address. I’m going to come and see him the second I get back.’

  ‘Well, of course you’ll be welcome to see him, if he’s still … you know …’ Andi was clearly having the most uncomfortable conversation of her life.

  There was a loud knock at the door.

  ‘Andi, I think we’re about to leave. I’m so incredibly sorry. But I’ll call you this afternoon, as soon as I can, OK? Please give my love to Alex.’

  As she hung up the phone and tried to stand, Lizzie felt like the room was swimming. The knock on the door came again. ‘Just a second,’ she shouted, shakily pouring herself a glass of water and gulping it down. ‘I’m coming.’

  ‘Elizabeth, our car will be here any minute,’ said her father. ‘I think it’s time we went.’

  ‘OK, Dad.’ She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. You can do this. Everyone’s at the church, waiting for you. She picked up her diamanté clutch and opened the door.

  ‘Are you feeling alright?’ asked her dad. ‘You’ve gone white as a sheet. Did you eat breakfast?’

  ‘Yes, I had a croissant,’ was the last thing Lizzie remembered saying before she hit the floor.

  When she came to, the first thing she saw was her father’s anxious face, fanning her with his now-unfolded speech. ‘What should we do?’ he was asking the photographer in a panic. ‘Should we get her to a hospital? She’s supposed to be at the church in ten minutes!’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ said the photographer, who was at least not attempting to capture the latest turn of events for posterity. ‘Is there someone we could call?’

  ‘What, like my wife?’

  ‘I was thinking more like the hotel doctor.’

  Lizzie sat upwards, her head spinning.

  What am I going to do about Alex?

  ‘Oh, thank goodness,’ said her dad, still wafting his paper in front of her in an exaggerated motion. ‘Are you alright? Does anything hurt? You really had me worried there.’

  She was feeling more than a little worried herself. Do I delay the wedding, go over to the hospital? Or do I get married first, then go afterwards?

  ‘Earth to Lizzie!’ he said nervously. ‘Here, sit on the bed for a second.’ She obliged, and he poured her another glass of water. ‘Get this down you.’

  She took a small sip. ‘What’s the time?’ she asked, still feeling shaky.

  ‘It’s ten to one,’ said the photographer, pointing to the clock on the back wall. ‘We’re due to be there in a minute.’

  ‘Well, they’ll just have to hang on,’ said her dad. ‘Until I’m sure she’s alright, we’re not going anywhere.’

  Lizzie checked herself up and down. Nothing seemed too badly bruised, and by some miracle the dress was still in one piece. Then she spotted a crushed crystal pin lying tragically on the floor, and her hand flew up to her head.

  ‘Did I ruin my hair?’ she asked in a daze.

  The photographer took a closer look. ‘No, I think we can salvage it,’ she said. ‘He’s sprayed it in place pretty well.’ She reached for her camera bag and pulled out a packet of hair grips. ‘A couple of the curls have fallen down, but I can pin them back up with these.’

  ‘You keep hair grips with your cameras?’ asked Mr Sparkes. He looked quietly impressed.

  ‘Let’s just say that this isn’t my first wedding. Over the years I’ve become quite good at hair and beauty touch-ups. I’ve seen all kinds of things mess up a bride’s look – rain, wind, pigeons …’

  ‘Pigeons?’

  How can they be talking about birds at a time like this?

  ‘Don’t ask. The key thing is just to fix it, fast.’ She moved behind Lizzie and pinned a grip into place. ‘Think you’re the first bride that’s ever fainted on me, though.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Please. It’s hardly your fault.’

  Hmmm. If I’d listened to Megan and not sent that text, then none of this would have happened. She swallowed guiltily. But if I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have known that Alex was in the hospital, would I?

  ‘Hold extra still for a second,’ said the photographer. ‘I’ve just got one more to pop in … There. How does that look?’

  Lizzie spun around in front of the mirror. ‘It’s great,’ she said slowly, her mind a million miles away. ‘You’re a lifesaver.’

  Am I really going to do this while Alex might be dying?

  ‘Well, if everything’s alright here now, don’t the three of us have a wedding to get to?’ said her father. ‘Poor Josh is going to think you’re not coming!’

  ‘Yes, we should go,’ said the photographer, handing Lizzie her bag and her bouquet, and ushering her out of the door.

  ‘Right, then, love.’ Her dad pressed the switch on the wall, causing the spotlights to dim. ‘Let’s get you hitched without any more hitches.’

  30

  Here comes the bride …

  It was possible to hear a pin drop in the back of the bridal car. Lizzie had already asked her dad not to make any emotional speeches en route to the church, just in
case he made her cry and ruined all her make-up. The photographer sat quietly, too, observing the unspoken code of silence like an obedient visitor at the library. But with no casual chatter to keep everyone occupied, Lizzie’s thoughts began to run away with themselves, screaming in her head until she thought it would burst.

  What are you doing?

  She tried to distract herself by counting the seconds on her father’s watch.

  Why aren’t you going to the hospital?

  ‘Nearly there, Miss,’ said the driver cheerily. ‘I’ve just got to go round the one-way system.’

  ‘Uh-huh,’ Lizzie mumbled.

  When you close your eyes, who do you see yourself with? Josh or Alex? Josh or Alex? JOSH OR ALEX?

  ‘I don’t know!’ she blurted out.

  ‘Don’t know what?’ asked her father, looking concerned.

  ‘I don’t know … what everyone’s going to think about me turning up so late,’ she fibbed.

  ‘Well, you’ll certainly have them wondering,’ he said, removing his paper from his pocket yet again. ‘You know, I should probably add a little joke about you fainting in my speech. Do you think that would be alright?’ He checked himself before she could object. ‘Maybe I should run it past your mother first. She warned me not to improvise.’

  ‘We’re here!’ said the driver, pulling over to the kerb. Lizzie could see Megan standing outside, flashing her cosmetically whitened teeth with the brightest of smiles. The driver came round to the rear door and helped her out of the vehicle.

  ‘Thank you,’ said Lizzie. ‘I suppose we’ll see you soon.’

  ‘I can’t park here, Miss,’ he said. ‘I’m just going to pull in round the corner and wait until you come out. Have a wonderful wedding.’

  ‘Right, Lizzie, we’d better get inside,’ said her dad, extending out his elbow. ‘Shall we?’

  ‘OK,’ said Lizzie, suddenly feeling like she was having an out-of-body experience as she floated towards the church. ‘I guess we should.’

  With everyone finally in position, the organist struck up the opening chords of the processional. Twenty rows of guests all stood and swivelled around to face the back. Lizzie could spot Naomi and Mel, Auntie Carole and Caz, Gareth and her other friends from uni, all craning to get a better look at the bride.

  She did not let her gaze linger on any of them, but stared straight ahead to Josh, so handsome in his smart grey suit. Then she glanced up at her dad, and remembered the words her mum had once told her.

  When I saw your father standing at the other end of the aisle, I just knew that there was no one else I’d rather marry …

  When Lizzie looked down the end of the aisle, she wished she was marrying Alex.

  ‘I can’t do this,’ she whispered to her dad. ‘Something doesn’t feel right.’

  ‘You don’t feel right? Where you hit your head?’ The look on his face was one of pure concern.

  ‘No, this – the wedding – doesn’t feel right.’

  Now her dad looked as if he were the one who might faint. ‘What are you talking about?’ he said. ‘Now’s not the time for jokes.’

  She ignored him and spun round to face her best friend. ‘Megan,’ she hissed. ‘I need to talk to you.’

  ‘What, now?’

  ‘Yes, now. Can we go outside?’

  They did an about turn, a curious chatter rippling through the pews. The organist stopped playing as the two of them stepped through the large wooden doors.

  ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘I … um … I …’ Lizzie was breathing so fast she thought she might hyperventilate. ‘I don’t think I can go through with this.’

  Megan put a hand on her shoulder. ‘Because of Alex?’ she asked gently.

  ‘Yes. I’m in love with him.’

  ‘I knew it,’ Megan sighed. ‘Though it would have been a lot better if you’d known before now.’ She gestured towards the packed church. ‘What are you going to do about all this?’

  Lizzie felt like she might pass out again. ‘I’ve no idea,’ she said, her voice wobbling. ‘I’m going to have to talk to Josh. Can you stall?’

  ‘Shit, when you said you wanted me to help co-ordinate stuff, I thought I’d be handing out confetti and things. I didn’t realise you were going to get me to call it all off.’

  ‘Oh Megan, what am I going to do?’ She leaned forwards and gasped for air, dropping her bouquet to the ground. Her body was starting to feel like it was made of paper, slowly crumpling under the tension.

  ‘Alright, don’t panic,’ said Megan, rubbing her shoulders. ‘I’ll deal with it. Just stand up and try to breathe.’

  Just then Josh burst out of the church, his forehead lined with worry. ‘What’s going on?’ he said quietly. ‘Are you OK?’

  Megan looked uncomfortable. ‘You two should talk. I’ll just wait … inside.’ She picked up Lizzie’s lilies and hurried back into the church.

  ‘I don’t understand,’ he said, looking nervous. ‘Is there something you want to tell me?’

  Lizzie felt so awful she wished the pavement would split in half and swallow her. There was no wedding guide for what she was about to do.

  ‘I don’t think I can marry you,’ she whispered, her heart lodged in her throat.

  Josh looked gobsmacked. ‘Is it Alex?’

  ‘Yes.’ A tear slid down her cheek. ‘I told you everything, honestly I did. And I really thought I could do this, but I just found out today that he’s in the hospital and it’s made me realise that—’

  ‘You don’t love me any more,’ finished Josh.

  ‘I do love you,’ said Lizzie softly. ‘I love you so much I almost married you.’ She hesitated, both afraid and relieved to tell the truth. ‘But I don’t think that would be fair to either of us.’

  Josh reached for her hands, cupping them in his. ‘Please don’t do this, Lizzie,’ he pleaded. ‘For all you know, Alex might not even be here next year, and then what? You’ll be on your own.’ He frowned. ‘I think you’re just confused at the moment, that’s all. You don’t mean it.’

  ‘I do,’ she confessed. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘You’re sorry? You’re sorry …’ He let go of her, looking like he might cry. ‘So let me get this straight: you’re breaking up with me on our wedding day?’

  Lizzie stared down at the floor. I’m the worst person who ever lived.

  ‘How can you humiliate me like this?’ he continued. ‘In front of our families? All our friends?’

  ‘I feel terrible about it, believe me,’ she cried. ‘I never meant for things to turn out this way. You’ve got every right to be angry with me.’

  Josh stared at her angst-ridden face.

  ‘Angry?’ he shouted. ‘I’m past angry. I’m completely …’ He began to choke up. ‘I’m gutted.’ He wiped his eye with the back of his hand. ‘I thought we were going to spend our lives together.’

  ‘So did I,’ said Lizzie. ‘But one day you’re going to meet someone else – someone way better than me – and you’ll realise it happened for a reason.’ She twisted the diamond ring on her left hand until it slid over her knuckle. ‘Here, you should have this,’ she said gently, placing it in his palm. ‘I hope that one day you’ll be able to forgive me.’

  ‘I doubt it,’ he said.

  She nodded sadly. ‘I understand.’

  ‘No,’ he said finally. ‘I doubt I’ll meet someone better than you.’ He bent down to kiss her softly on the cheek, the scent of his aftershave so achingly familiar. Then, without glancing back, he walked slowly around the corner and disappeared.

  Megan stuck her head out of the double doors, waving for Lizzie to come closer. ‘I can’t stall much longer,’ she said. ‘Your dad’s starting to go ballistic and I’m out of excuses.’ She looked up and down the street, realising the groom had gone. ‘What did you tell Josh?’

  ‘The truth. That I couldn’t marry him.’

  Lizzie rubbed her eyes, still in shock at what she’d just done. In
about 20 seconds, her parents were going to kill her. Literally. Not to mention Josh’s. She had never felt so horrible in her entire life.

  And yet, she couldn’t deny the truth: the heaviness that had been crushing her was lifted. She knew now for certain that her heart belonged to Alex. And there was no way she could give it to anyone else while he was lying in the hospital.

  ‘That poor guy. He must feel like Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer.’

  ‘Look, you can make me feel as bad as you like later, but right now I’ve got to go.’

  ‘What? Go where?’

  ‘Alex is in the hospital. It’s an emergency, so I need to get there fast.’

  ‘OK,’ said Megan, rallying. ‘I think your car’s still round the corner. I can stay here and tell everyone that they won’t need their confetti after all.’

  ‘Thanks!’ said Lizzie, hitching up the train of her dress and setting off up the street as fast as her silver heels could go. She sprinted around the corner, sparkly pins flying from her hair as she raced along the pavement. To her relief, the bridal car was still parked by the side of the road, the driver waiting patiently inside instead of heading off for a coffee. He looked visibly perplexed as she flung open the car door and hopped into the back seat.

  ‘Have you forgotten something, Miss?’

  ‘No.’ She whipped out her mobile. ‘I need you to take me to this address please, as fast as you can.’

  The driver pulled himself together and turned on the engine. ‘Of course, if that’s what you want. It must be urgent?’

  ‘It is,’ said Lizzie, trying to catch her breath. ‘It’s a matter of life or death.’

  Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the hospital car park. Lizzie rummaged around in her clutch for some cash, only to realise all she had in there was a tissue, some lip gloss, her mobile and a couple of spare hair grips. ‘I’m so sorry – I’d give you a tip but I don’t have any money on me,’ she told the driver.

  ‘Please don’t worry, miss,’ he said politely. ‘You look like you’ve got a lot on your plate. It’s been my pleasure, really.’