by Tiana Grover
The crazy thing about that whole situation was that I left him numerous times because he couldn’t stop fucking with Netta. If he wanted her so bad he could have been with her! I wasn’t trying to keep him if he didn’t want to be kept. He was free to go! He could have been with her and spared me the pain in the process.
But no. Instead of leaving me, he proposed to me. When he did that, it was like all of his past indiscretions didn’t matter. He had to love me if he wanted to make me his wife right? He was finally ready to take me serious. I went to town and planned the biggest wedding I could with my mother and my sisters. My father happily footed the bill. I was going to have a fairytale wedding.
I gotta admit though, the closer it got to my wedding day, the more I got a bad feeling that I just could not shake. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I just couldn’t. When I told Sierra and my mother, they both assured me that it was just wedding jitters and I would be fine. They were way off with that one weren’t they?
If I learned one thing from that whole situation, it was to never ignore your gut instinct. I had been feeling like that because something bad was about to happen. Now I was feeling that way again, only not for myself.
Prince was a good man to my sister. Anyone with two eyes could see how he catered to her. He made sure she was well taken care off and wanted for nothing. That’s how I was able to live rent free in my sister’s old apartment; before Sierra had moved in with him, he had already paid the rent for up to a year on her place. I can admit that I was always a little jealous of the way he catered to her, even before Andrew left me. Drew’s pockets weren’t as deep as his so he would have never been able to offer me the things that Prince gave Sierra. Still, it was easier to hide that I felt some type of way about it when we were still together. It got harder after he left.
I never left the crib and definitely didn’t want to when my mom called and told me about the surprise birthday party Prince was throwing Sierra at Le Mont. I mean for real, why would I want to see just how much he loved her again while I was all alone? I refused to go at first but my mother wasn’t with it. I don’t care how grown you are, when you one of Felicia Lucas’ kids, you still did whatever she told you to do. I was the oldest but there was no exception for me. So I went, reluctantly.
I hated to see how he had everything set up for her. It wasn’t that I was hating on my sister, because I loved her, but something in me just wouldn’t allow me to be happy for her. How could I celebrate her happiness when I was still miserable?
The proposal threw me for a loop. That rock he put on her finger cost more than everything Drew had ever bought me combined. I couldn’t be happy for her on that. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop the envy that crept through my body. I made sure to keep a smile on my face but inside, I was seething. Sierra had everything while I was still trying my best to get over the only man I had ever truly loved. It wasn’t fair.
I bit into my chicken and paid no attention to the barbecue sauce that dripped on her white suede couch. Seeing Prince so friendly with another woman – a pregnant woman at that- definitely showed he was no better than the typical nigga running these streets. I couldn’t wait to share this little bit of news with Sierra. Her man was no better than mine.
Chapter Nine
“…This is how you made me”
Fabolous “You Made Me”
Maria
I sat in the parking lot of the clinic, tapping my fingernails on my steering wheel as I waited for Prince so we could get this blood test over and done with.
Truth be told, I wasn’t completely sure what the outcome of the test would be. Prince was not the only man I had been with in eight years like I had told him at Buffalo Blues. There had been one other man, an assistant D.A. that worked downtown at the federal building with me. I had started to see him when Bree continued to neglect me for Prince, and more than a few times we had been sloppy when it came to using protection. This baby could very well be his and much as Prince’s, but I wasn’t taking any chances on pinning it on a colleague.
One, it was messy. The assistant D.A. was way too possessive, even though he was married, the same as I was; only he had a wife and two kids. They also had a baby on the way. I would definitely be breaking up a happy home if I announced I was pregnant by him, but I didn’t really give two shits about that. Prince was just a better candidate to be my child’s father all across the board for a few reasons.
If word got out that I was sleeping with the lawyers and district attorneys that worked beneath me, all hell would break loose. No one would take my career or me seriously. It would be assumed that I always ruled in favor of the lawyer I was sleeping with, regardless of any evidence that was presented to me. I would have a scandal of Olivia Pope’s proportion on my hands. I had worked too damn hard to get to my position to let that happen or to let my name get drug through the mud. Being Judge Maria Santiago meant something dammit. I pumped fear in the hearts of lawyers and criminals alike, and I loved that shit. The power I gained from my position was only second to busting a nut.
Besides the fact Jay, the assistant D.A., being my baby’s father would be career suicide; Prince had a much better purpose to serve here. My baby being his would kill Bree. It would positively destroy her and break her heart. She deserved that and so much more for how she did me.
I used to love Bree so much that it shocked me. Now I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with her. Her refusal to leave Prince alone and focus on our marriage is what got us here. It made me sick to my stomach whenever I thought about the way I had begged and pleaded for her, my wife, to be faithful to me and only me. I should have never had to do that, but to me, she was worth it. So I put my pride to the side to save my marriage and pleaded with her to be loyal to me. And with a straight face, she swore that she would!
She always was good at lying.
Sharing Prince had been her idea. I wanted nothing to do with him, but for whatever reason, she thought it would bring us closer if I saw why she couldn’t leave his young ass alone. So being a sucker for love, hoping it would bring the spark back into my marriage, I went along with it.
The first time I saw Prince, I was surprised at how turned on I was. Now don’t get me wrong, I had been sleeping with Jay maybe twice a month for a few months but it wasn’t really because I wanted to. I didn’t even like his ass; I was just starving for attention since I got absolutely none at home and he was giving it to me.
Sleeping with Prince was different. I was attracted to him instantly, and once he laid eyes on me, I felt a chemistry I hadn’t felt with a man in a very, very long time. Bree was all but forgotten as I made my way to him. And from the very first stroke, I was a goner. He was much longer and thicker than Jay and I loved it. I understood immediately why Bree hadn’t left him alone. Shit. I was tempted to keep fucking with him on the side my damn self.
This pregnancy threw a slight wrench in my plans. I wanted to see Prince again, but not under these circumstances. Yet I was thrilled at the chance to be a mother. My ex husband had been so abusive to me years ago that I constantly miscarried. I didn’t think I could get pregnant again. The fact that I was and was unsure of who the father was didn’t bother me the slightest. I had a way to make sure Prince showed as the father of my baby, whether he was or not.
The DNA technician owed me a few favors for making sure her baby brother stayed out of jail. After paying her and making sure I threatened to lock her up for the shoplifting ring she had going on, I made sure she knew that whatever documents came from this blood test made sure to show Prince as the biological father. I’m no fool; I had this thought out from the moment I approached him about this baby. An election year was coming up and I couldn’t afford any scandals if I wanted to be re elected to the bench. So to save everyone’s ass, Prince was going to be my child’s father… whether he actually was or not.
I knew and understood that he had a little girlfriend at home. I could care less about that little girl.
In the grand scheme of things, she really didn’t matter. This was bigger than any little relationship they had going on. Besides, she would more than likely forgive him and stay with him, even though he may have made a baby on her. I’ve seen it happen a million times.
I watched him now as he got out of his Denali. He had on a black North Face hoodie, black jeans and black Nike ACG boots. A black and white Nike thermal hat was on his head. He certainly didn’t look like he ran one of the most successful arms trafficking rings in Pennsylvania but I knew better than anyone that looks could be deceiving.
He walked towards my truck. I unlocked the door. He opened it for me and like a perfect gentleman he helped me out. I could smell the Armani Code cologne he wore and my pussy started to tingle. Still, I had to stay in character like he had no effect on me.
“Are you ready to do this?” I asked him with a straight face after we had signed in.
He was leaning in his chair, his hands in his hoodie pocket, biting his lip. He looked too damn good. I thought of Bree briefly and wanted to call her just to say Yes Bree. I understand now. But I didn’t.
“I’m ready to get this over with,” was his dry response.
I nodded and picked up an old People magazine that was laying on the table beside us. I held it up so he couldn’t see the smirk on my face.
Either way it went, the results were going to show Prince as my baby’s father… whether he wanted to be or not.
I had too much to lose to chance it
Chapter Ten
“I been at the crib with the phones off”
Drake “10 Bands”
Prince
Two weeks after we got the blood test done and I was able to see why Maria was so confident.
The results came back that the fetus she was carrying was ninety-nine point nine nine mine.
I didn’t know what the fuck to do. I’ll give Maria credit; she didn’t keep rubbing the results in my face. Once we got them she simply looked at me and stated, “My baby won’t be a secret, Prince.” Then she pulled off.
I knew what she meant by that. She wasn’t going to keep quiet until I figured out a way to tell Sierra. I didn’t agree with that but at the same time, I understood it. No child deserved to be kept a secret, no matter what the circumstance. The only thing was I didn’t know how to break this news to her. So I began to pull away from everyone and everything, including Sierra. This baby was the only thing on my mind, but I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Sierra had been acting distant towards me lately anyway, even though she thought I didn’t know for whatever reason. I noticed everything about her. I understood why she was mad at me; she had every right to be. The day I met up with Maria and ignored her she had actually needed me. Come to find out her car wouldn’t start and she left her Triple A card in her wallet, which was at the crib. She didn’t tell me how she’d ended up getting home and went back to not speaking to me. Again. That shit was old but since I had so much on my mind, I really didn’t care. We would get back to us eventually; we always did. At least I hoped we would.
Plus even though I had proposed to her, there was still a level of distrust she had with me that we never talked about. I knew the fact that I had not only ignored her calls and texts but didn’t bother coming home till about one in the morning made it no better. Without a doubt, she thought I was cheating. I tried to make it up to her but she didn’t want to hear it. So I didn’t keep trying. She assumed I was out here cheating on her again but that was far from the case. I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I had possibly gotten a woman I barely even knew pregnant. I had been praying like hell that the baby wasn’t mine that day, so much so that I ain’t answer any phone call or text I got from anyone, not just Sierra.
Today I was finally meeting up with Javon. I knew he was hot at me because I had been stalling on expanding the line of dry cleaners and Laundromats we had all over the city. I had other shit going on but he was right, I needed to focus on business more. Especially since I was about to have a mouth to feed.
I pulled up to his crib in Lawrenceville and walked in without knocking. He was on the couch playing Madden.
“Nigga you slippin’, I could have been anybody,” I said as I dapped him up.
“I left it open for you. Trust me I’m never slippin,” he assured me as he pulled his nine from under his couch and showed it to me. He slid it back under and tossed me a joystick. “You ready to get beat on?”
I pulled the loud pack and some Swishers out my pocket. “Gotta roll up first. You ain’t gone believe the shit I got goin on in my life right now.”
He looked at me with wide eyes. “How you having drama right now? You just proposed to a beautiful woman.”
I split the Swisher open, dumped the guts in a plastic bag he had laying next to the couch and started breaking the bud down with a shake of my head. “Yeah I did.”
“What, you regret it now?”
I shook my head. “Never. I love my woman to the death of me,” I said seriously.
He looked confused. “So who’s the drama with? Red?”
I laughed a little. “I wish it was that simple.” I finished rolling the blunt, grabbed a lighter and sparked it. Red didn’t approve of Sierra for whatever reason and hated the fact that we lived together. It had definitely put a strain on our relationship; we weren’t as close as we used to be. Still she was my mother and I missed her.
“She know y’all engaged?”
“I think she do cause she been hinting around that she needs to talk to me, I just been avoiding her. I have no idea who could have even told her if you ain’t tell her.” I shrugged. “I don’t want to hear her mouth about it.” I hit the blunt a few times and passed the blunt to Javon.
He looked confused again. “So what drama you got then? You need to tell your partner cause I’m trying to make moves and you holding shit up.”
I didn’t respond cause I knew I had been wrong in the way I had been conducting business with my cousin lately. Javon was busy trying to keep out the streets since he came home from prison. At first, he wanted to get in on moving guns with me. I shut that shit down before he could get any big ideas about it. I wasn’t about to put him on with me; the nigga was entirely too flashy. He would draw attention too much attention to himself, therefore drawing attention to me. I wasn’t having that.
I gotta give him credit for loyalty though. Whatever I was willing to do, he was down. When I decided to hang it up for good and go completely legit, he was right by my side ready and willing to do whatever I wanted to do. He was actually the one that put me on to all the abandoned Laundromats and dry cleaners in the city. I bought them, remodeled them, put Wifi in a few and let him run everything to keep his nose clean. He was doing a damn good job of it too. So I could see why he would be a little impatient with me stalling him on making our next move. I ain’t mean to bullshit him or give him the runaround. I just had a lot on my plate right now.
I passed him the blunt. “I’m bout to be a dad.”
He hit it and a grin a mile wide stretched across his face. “That’s great news my nigga! Tell Si I said congratulations! Why you look so upset?”
“Sierra ain’t the one having my baby.”
He had just hit the blunt when I told him that. He coughed for what seemed like forever before saying, “What?”
“Sierra ain’t the one having my baby,” I repeated.
He passed the blunt back to me with a frown. “Well who is?”
“Maria.”
His frown deepened. “Who the fuck is Maria?”
“Bree’s wife.”
His scowled. “Bree? The married cop you been fucking for years? That bitch is gay?”
I nodded.
“And this whole time you thought she was married to a man?”
“Yeah man!” I snapped, annoyed at his questions. “Why wouldn’t I? She never said shit about being gay, liking women, nothing.
One day she pops up at the telly with a bitch. I thought she was just on to some freaky shit. Come to find out, it’s her wife.”
Javon burst out laughing.
I wasn’t amused. “Nigga I don’t see what’s so funny. Sierra ain’t gone accept this shit at all. I don’t even know how to tell her.”
“Well at least wait till you know that the baby is yours before you tell her.”
I shook my head. “Tried that. We did a prenatal blood test cause shorty was tired of me saying I wasn’t claiming her baby without one. She wanted to get it out the way more than I did.”
Javon started laughing again.
I was getting pissed. This nigga wasn’t helping matters at all. “The fuck is so funny? Did you not hear what the fuck I just said? I got a baby on the way by a broad that’s not my woman! I barely even know this chick!”
Javon grabbed the blunt out of my hand. “Yeah I heard you. That’s what makes this shit so funny. Most niggas get they side bitch pregnant. That’s the way of the world. Side bitches get pregnant every day B.” He looked at me and shook his head. “You got to be the only nigga I know that takes it one step further and get your side bitch’s wife pregnant. I ain’t never heard of no shit like that man. Only you.” He laughed some more.
I failed to find the humor in the situation. All I could think of was Sierra and how much this would hurt her. “Yo, what am I supposed to do about Sierra? I can’t lose her.” I couldn’t. Losing her wasn’t even an option.
“Just go head and marry her. Y’all engaged anyway. If you marry her before the baby gets here, she won’t be so quick to walk out on you.”
I thought about what he said. It seemed like the answer to my dilemma. I would be able to bring peace to my house, at least until the baby got here. Then when she found out about my baby, she wouldn’t be so quick to leave. At least, I hoped she wouldn’t be so quick to leave.