The look in his eyes said he understood what a sacrifice that was for her. He wrapped an arm about her waist and held fast. “That means a lot to me,” he told her gently.
She blinked back a mist of emotion. “Good.”
“But it’s not going to be necessary,” he told her sternly. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”
She waited, not sure she’d heard right.
He tightened his grip on her and confided, “You’re not the only one who’s been doing some soul-searching this summer. I’ve learned some things about myself, too.”
A shiver swept through her. Aware how close she was to surrendering to him on any terms, she asked, “Such as...?”
His lips curved into a sexy smile. “For a long time, I thought I had to go far away to be really of service as a physician, but my work at the local hospital and the medical crisis with Millie and Mike proved I could be of value here, too.”
Ignoring the sudden wobbliness of her knees, Susannah tried to figure out where this was going. “Then why were you so set on going back to Physicians Without Borders?”
Sorrow mingled with the joy on his handsome face. “Because when it came to you and me and our relationship, and my concern for the kids, I was still all tied up in my own regrets and fears.”
Opening up as never before, he went on, confessing soberly, “I tried to make up for past mistakes and the loss of my birth parents by devoting my life to helping others, but only those I was not overly close with. But when I started spending time with you and the quintuplets, my ability to stay emotionally remote went all to hell.”
She thought about the way her children had plowed past all his defenses, with their never-ending questions and requests, and guessed it had. They had forced him to let down his guard, and she and he had done the same for each other, too. Forcing each other to change, like it or not.
He flashed a rueful grin. “You—and the quintuplets—made me take a good, hard look at myself and open up my heart.”
Drawing her in against him, he kissed her temple. “The more time I spent here, the more I realized just how lonely I had been and how good it felt to be needed on a truly personal level.” He drew back to gaze into her eyes. “And how much I longed to have you and the kids as my family.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the request Belinda and Brett had made as we did get closer, then?” she asked cautiously, recalling how much it had hurt when she’d seen the note on that postcard and found out what else he had done behind her back. “Or let me know about the college funds?”
He inhaled sharply. “I knew how independent you were, and worried you’d reject my help on principle if you knew.”
Sad to say, she probably would have.
“And I couldn’t bear to lose you over that,” he admitted in a voice that was thick with emotion. “And I didn’t know how I would survive if that happened, because you’ve made me happier this summer than I ever imagined I could be.”
She thought about all the times they’d spent as a family. How wonderful it had been when they had been able to steal a little time alone and make love. “You’ve made me really happy, too, Gabe,” she whispered as happiness and relief welled up within her, too.
Gabe’s eyes smiled first, then his mouth. “I love you, Susannah Alexander, with all my heart and soul.”
“I love you, too, Gabe Lockhart,” she murmured as he kissed her sweetly and cuddled her close.
He stroked a hand through her hair, another down her spine. “Glad to hear it,” he said tenderly, kissing her yet again, “’cause I turned in my resignation letter to PWB a half an hour ago and wrote the head of the hospital here to let them know I would like the job on the diagnostic team. My life is here. With you. And the kids. And Daisy.”
Who came over to be petted, her tail wagging.
“Speaking of our life together...” Or the one they’d had planned up until a few hours before.
Here was her chance. The opportunity to take that giant leap of faith.
Susannah looked into his eyes and continued with every ounce of courage and feeling in her heart. “Did you tell your parents the wedding was off?”
“No.” He gave her a look that left no doubt about the depth of feelings he had for her, too. His breath sighed out, mirroring her relief. “Because in my mind, even though we had an argument, it was never really all the way off. Did you tell Millie and Mike?”
“I...tried. They weren’t having any of it.”
Understanding lit his expression.
“They swore I had a case of the bridal jitters and told me to sleep on it, that I would feel differently in the morning.”
He grinned down at her, brows waggling, then nodded at his watch, which showed it was 1:30 a.m. “Well,” he teased, “it is already morning...” He tightened his arms around her. “And that officially makes it our wedding day.”
Her heart kicked against her rib cage. Joy swept her soul. “You still want to get married as planned?” she asked hopefully.
“I do.” He sealed the vow with another long and leisurely lip lock, then looked down at her, all the love and passion he felt for her reflected in his eyes. “But this time, for all the right reasons. Because we love each other and want a real marriage together, in all respects.”
“For now. And forever,” Susannah agreed, holding him close.
“So that’s a yes to my proposal?” he said.
Susannah grinned, happier than she’d ever thought she could be. “Most definitely a yes!”
Epilogue
Movie night, ten and a half months later
“We’ll help Mommy get the popcorn!” Gretchen and Rebecca said, taking on their usual chore.
“And we’ll get the drinks!” Connor and Levi jumped into action.
“And Daddy,” four and a half-year-old Abigail directed soberly, “you set up the movie.”
Gabe didn’t even have to ask which one. There was only one video the quints wanted to view on special occasions. And with their first Father’s Day happening tomorrow, this evening promised to be a very special night. Both before and after the kids were asleep.
“Will do,” he promised, catching Susannah’s eye. She smiled at him, looking gorgeous as ever in a spaghetti-strap sundress covered in wildflowers, reminiscent of the scent she wore. Her hair had been up all day. He itched to run his fingers through the sexy locks now tumbling down around her shoulders. And promised himself that and more would happen in due time. Meantime, he wanted to enjoy their family time with the quints.
A flurry of activity followed—snacks were arranged, seating discussed. Finally, all seven of them were settled on the sofa—Gabe and Susannah in the middle, Rebecca between them, Levi and Gretchen sprawled on their laps, Connor and Abigail cuddling close beside them. Daisy, as usual was curled up at their feet in front of the sofa, too. Gabe slanted another look at his wife. She had a look of such utter bliss on her face he couldn’t help but smile. “Everybody ready?” he asked.
“Yes!” the kids chorused.
He and Susannah locked gazes as readily as they had already locked hearts. “Okay, then, here goes.” Savoring the happiness that had inundated every corner of his life, Gabe hit the play button on the remote control.
His parents’ ranch came into focus. The kids oohed and ahhed as Gabe took his place at the altar beside the minister.
“Here comes Daisy!” Abigail announced.
The golden retriever lifted her head and stared at the TV screen as if she too were remembering that very special summer day.
Onscreen, a decked-out Daisy could be seen trotting happily up the aisle in advance of the three beautifully dressed flower girls, who were busy strewing rose petals that matched the wreaths in their hair.
“Our dresses are so pretty,” Rebecca sighed happily.
“It was a happy day.”
Gretchen beamed.
“Very happy indeed.” Susannah gave Gabe a look that seemed to telegraph all the love in her heart. Aware she and the kids were the best thing to ever happen to him, he sent her one right back.
The strains of Pachelbel’s “Canon in D” continued. “And here we come with the rings!” Levi and Connor said in unison.
They, too, looked adorable in their little tuxedos.
“And now Mommy,” the girls breathed.
Susannah appeared onscreen in all her wedding finery. The videographer had done a split screen; Gabe was on one side, watching her come toward him, and she on the other, practically floating up the aisle, on Mike’s arm, she was so happy.
When it came time to ask who gave her away, Mike and Millie and the kids stepped in and all said they did...
And from there, it was just Susannah and Gabe, pledging their love to one another and promising each other the future while their children beamed at their sides.
“And now they get to kiss!” Levi shouted when the vows had come to an end.
And kiss they did.
In a way that was both short and sweet but still worked up the crowd around them. Hearing the hoots and hollers and whistles, the kids echoed more of their own. When they finally quieted, the music started again jubilantly, and Gabe and Susannah marched back down the aisle, arm in arm, holding hands with all their children in the process.
The quints watched happily until the ceremony ended and then got up to dance in remembrance as the scene shifted to the reception. The music turned lively, and some of their favorite celebratory moments...including first dance, and cake cutting, and bouquet toss...ensued.
When all the popcorn was gone and the video ended, the kids clapped and cheered. “That was the best wedding ever!” Connor declared, and his siblings joyously concurred.
Gabe winked at Susannah. “Have to agree with you all there.”
Bedtime followed. When the kids were all sound asleep, Susannah and Gabe met up outside on the back deck for a glass of wine while Daisy dozed nearby. “Think they’ll ever get tired of their favorite movie?” she teased.
He wrapped his arm around her and pressed a kiss in her hair. “Doubtful. But it’s okay. It’s good to remember the official start of our life together as a couple and as a family.”
“I think so, too.” Susannah leaned in to kiss him. “And on that note, you know what tomorrow is...”
He squinted, pretending to think. “June fifteenth, maybe, or is it the fourteenth?”
She didn’t buy his feigned confusion for one hot second. “Ha-ha. It’s Father’s Day.”
“So it is,” he murmured, his voice turning as tender as their feelings.
Susannah took his glass in hand with hers and put both aside. She turned back, splaying her delicate palms across his chest, provoking the accelerating beat of his heart. Sweet affection shimmered in her pretty sea-blue eyes. “And though the kids have lots planned for you tomorrow, starting with a picnic, I want to go ahead and wish you your first and best Father’s Day ever right now.”
Love flowed between them, fiercer than ever. He bent his head to hers, and they kissed deeply and tenderly, once again completely in sync with each other.
Knowing their lives were the way they were always meant to be, and that he could never say it often enough, he drew back and cupped her face in his hands. “Thank you for coming into my life and showing me just how happy I could be,” he said gruffly.
“Right back at you, Doc,” she whispered. “Because I never knew I could be as blissful as this, either.” Encircling her arms around his neck, she leaned in close and kissed him again, tenderly at first and then with escalating passion.
When they came up for air, he threaded his hands through her hair and said, “I love you, Susannah Lockhart. So very much.”
She laughed softly. “I love you, too, Gabriel Lockhart. So, what do you say we grab our wine and take this party upstairs?”
With a grin and a wink, he gave her his hand. “You bet!”
* * *
Watch for the next book in Cathy Gillen Thacker’s Lockharts Lost & Found miniseries, Four Christmas Matchmakers, coming October 2020, only from Harlequin Special Edition!
Keep reading for an excerpt from A Mother’s Secrets by Tara Taylor Quinn.
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A Mother’s Secrets
by Tara Taylor Quinn
Chapter One
Okay, so we’re doing this?
The definitive answer, a yes, came in the sound of ocean waves as Dr. Jamison Howe pounded out his morning jog on the beach. Sand sprayed. His tennis shoes thudded a regular rhythm in the thick substance, rubbing against the small toe on his left foot.
And in the sunrise, he saw Emily’s grin, ear to ear, her eyes glinting with the happiness she’d never lost, even during the grueling brain surgeries she’d had to endure after her biking accident. She’d promised him, seconds before they’d put her under for that last surgery, that they were going to have their baby. Their family. She’d made him promise that that’s what he’d be thinking about while the surgeons worked on her.
The future. The baby they’d been trying so hard to conceive. It was going to happen, she’d told him. She’d been so certain that he’d really believed her. And had spent every second of those hours focused on a nonexistent baby. Imagining a boy or a girl. Playing with names. Picturing scenarios with a running or biking stroller, backpacks that held a little one.
Disneyland rides. Swimming lessons. He and Emily standing quietly, watching their baby sleep.
Which was why, when they’d told him she hadn’t made it through the surgery, he hadn’t believed them. Even after he’d been allowed in to see her lifeless body.
The truth had hit when he’d arrived home that night instead of sleeping in a recliner chair by her bedside at the hospital as they’d planned. When he’d climbed into their bed alone.
And he’d been bereft.
There was no baby. And no Emily, either.
Pounding feet. May sun half blinding him. Ocean breeze cooling his skin. Cloying humidity.
And still, yes.
* * *
Christine Elliott was not overly fond of exercise. It wasn’t that she hated physical activity, it was just that most forms of regular daily exertion—running, bike riding, machine incline exercises, weight lifting—bored her. As the owner of a prominent, privately run fertility clinic, she was in tune with the need for good health. But she’d just allowed any other responsibility in her life to take priority over time at the gym. Or on the streets.
Until she’d discovered racquetball. Not as a sport or a game, but as a solitary physical expenditure of energy. She was up to five days a week, any week that would allow the time, alone in the little high-ceilinged room, banging the little rubber ball off the walls. Again and again. She’d upped her shot over the past year. Purposely hitting it so it would be impossible to return and then racing to return it. Sometimes succeeding, sometimes not. But always trying. Always upping the ante on what she expected of herself.
Always needing to prove that she could do more. Do better.
Yeah, she got that this was a character flaw: her inability to accept herself as she was. The incessant need to always prove her worth to herself. Surrounded by doctors—psychiatrists and gynecologists—and counselors at her job, she knew all of the rhetoric.
And there was nothing wrong with loving her solitary racquetball time.
Except when she failed to set her alarm and she ended up late for her Tuesday afternoon appointment.
; That wasn’t cool.
Nor was it completely true. The appointment existed, but she always built in extra time, and was only at her desk fifteen minutes before her four o’clock appointment was due to arrive, instead of the scheduled half hour.
Newly, though quickly, showered, and back in her tie-dyed sundress and heeled flip-flops, her shortish brown hair still slightly damp on the ends that curled up in the back, she opened the file on the top of her desk.
Dr. Jamison Howe. She remembered him and his wife, Emily. She’d attended high school with them, though, as they were both two years ahead of her, they didn’t know her. She hadn’t recognized them, either, when she’d met with them two years before. They’d been through all of the genetic testing, and while no apparent reason had presented for their inability to conceive, they’d wanted to speak with her about options offered through her clinic—The Parent Portal.
Reading the file, she instantly remembered details. The two, who’d been best friends since they were eight years old and too cute for words together, had decided to try in vitro fertilization after struggling with infertility. They’d gone through the embryonic process and had been due back into the clinic for implantation the day after Emily’s bicycle accident. They’d chosen to freeze her embryos, for use as soon as she was deemed well enough to sustain a healthy pregnancy, but that hadn’t happened. Emily Howe had died on the operating table the previous year.
The embryos had been in frozen storage ever since. Waiting to be destroyed, as was common practice in such situations.
Per the legal contract, between each of the Howes and The Parent Portal, Jamison was now sole owner of the embryos and the only person who could make that difficult decision.
A phone call, a notarized signature to the lab, would make that happen. He needn’t visit The Parent Portal, but Christine wasn’t all that surprised by the fact he’d requested to come in person. In the years she’d been in business, she’d come to understand the full emotional depths that people went through when dealing with their own fertility, their future. Most couldn’t just destroy what, to them, once represented the beginning of their child, with a phone call. Some hung on to embryos for years. And while Christine had her degree in health management and was not a counselor, her clients often sought her out when they had difficult decisions in front of them.
His Plan for the Quintuplets Page 21