Leftover Girl

by Bolick, C. C.

  * * * * *

  Tosh was washing her hands as I slipped through the bathroom door. My internal trouble meter wailed like a fire alarm, but I really had to go. No way would I make it to another building. A quick effort shifted the stall’s lock into place.

  Tosh’s cruel laugh echoed in the empty room. “Lame, lame, always lame.”

  The silence that followed brought no end to my fears. When the outer door closed, I breathed relief into the surrounding air and dashed from the stall. Because every soap dispenser offered an empty tug, I scrubbed my hands long enough for Lisa to make her entrance.

  “Hey, Jes,” Lisa said and smiled, a sight that scared me more than Tosh’s laugh. “I noticed your brace is gone. Is your wrist better?”

  With a shudder, I gripped the wrist in question.

  “I just wanted to apologize to you.”

  Lisa’s words held an edge that kept me on defense. “For what?”

  “For the way Tosh treated you.” She crossed to the wall of mirrors, tracking me in the reflection. “Tosh and I have always been friends, but sometimes she can be mean.” Lisa smiled and stepped in front of me. “How does my eyeliner look? Is it even?”

  “Yes.” I moved closer to the door.

  “I want to help you,” she said, in reply to my silent question. “Tosh hates you and I know a way to change that. You need to make Tosh like you.”

  I stared in disbelief. “Tosh? Like me?”

  “You can make Tosh like you, and I’ll help. I’ll make you cool.”

  “Cool?”

  “Yes, Jes, even you could be cool.” Lisa smiled like Bailey after a super sneaky plan. “Skip fourth block with me.”

  “Hello, my mom’s a teacher.”

  “Don’t be such a worrywart. There’s a fine sub in your fourth block today.” Lisa blinked and her voice returned from the faraway kingdom. “Anyway, he’s not checking roll. When your third block is done, we can sneak out.”

  “To where?”

  “My boyfriend Jarrod will pick us up by the band room and we’ll take off. Just to Save All or something. We’ll be back by the end of school, I promise. Your mom will never know.”

  ‘No, no, no,’ screamed the voice inside my head.

  “Everyone in school will think you’re cool, even Pade.”

  As I pictured Tosh with Pade, something inside me exploded, causing the walls around me to glow, and I raised my head. To hell with Pade. To hell with teachers giving big fat zeroes. To hell with rules.

  “Okay.” Saying the word exposed an odd sense of freedom, one that caused my skin to buzz and my head to float. Reality shifted inside as the sum of my problems changed from looming final exam to ten points extra credit. I felt in control of my life again.

  “Great,” Lisa said, heading for the door. “Meet me at the band room after third.”

  I washed my hands again, scrubbing until the tips of my nails were soft, translucent. Staring into the blue eyes, I shivered. The bathroom was silent, cold. No one existed but me and the girl in the glass, and she was a stranger. I gasped, for my head spun and my lungs weren’t working. Running for the door, I shoved it open and stumbled into the hall. Coughing, I fell forward, but someone caught my arm.

  “Are you hurt?”

  I squinted, but the man’s face was out of focus.

  With one hand still holding my arm, he bent down to the floor. When he rose, he placed something in my hand and stepped back.

  The metal was cool against my skin, and instantly I knew he’d found my glasses. With the glasses in place again, I stared at the man’s green uniform, dragging the floor around his boots.

  “That girl should not be trusted,” he said.

  “What girl?” I glanced around, but Lisa was nowhere in sight.

  The man turned to his cart. “Stubborn like the other,” he said and started down the hall, wheels grinding away.

  Only one sound filled the hall, the constant chatter of metal on tile. He didn’t look back, and I watched his feet rise and fall, as if marching to a song no one else heard. His voice seemed familiar, and I thought of the day in Mrs. Pearson’s room, when the door opened itself.

  Yes, the man she chewed out, and he was just as calm. He reached the end of the hall before I allowed myself to think of Lisa, of the afternoon looming, the excitement. I shook my head, pushing away the picture of him, and my strength surged. I’d face my parents if we got caught skipping school, no problem. If Lisa could live with the consequences, so could I.

  * * * * *

  Bailey put skipping school on trial with an opposing argument that only convinced me of her jealousy. Of course, Lisa had asked me. I watched my friend stomp off to fourth block before heading to the band room, some part of me satisfied she wasn’t going.

  Lisa was waiting with Jarrod at the edge of the road, facing away from the band room. Jarrod shifted the sputtering engine into drive as soon as I closed the door. The ragged seatbelt was a beacon to my right, but I hesitated to reach for the buckle since Lisa and Jarrod had passed.

  “Hey, pull over at the next gas station and let me drive,” Lisa said.

  “You know I can’t be seen with someone else driving. Dad would take the keys.”

  “But you let me drive before. I’ve got my learner’s permit.”

  Jarrod glanced in the mirror. “Maybe when we leave the store.”

  He lit a cigarette and I cracked my window, leaning back against the seat. I sniffed my shirt as smoke filled the car. Ashes spiraled and landed on my face and arms, and the holey knees of my jeans. With eyes closed, I took small breaths, each a fight not to cough, while adrenaline pumped a steady rhythm in my ears.

  “Hey,” Lisa said. “Didn’t I tell you smoking is bad?”

  My eyes flew open at Lisa’s words.

  “Who are you, my mother?” he asked, laughing as Lisa stared out the window.

  “Just drive us to the store,” she said.

  I pulled out my phone and checked the time. We had exactly an hour and twenty minutes to get back before Mom started looking for me. In less than ten, Jarrod jerked us into the store’s parking lot, forcing me to regret not putting on that seatbelt.

  We walked the store for at least twenty minutes before Lisa led us to the jewelry department. She picked up several necklaces as her eyes zoomed in on the camera above. In the motion of a sculptor, she curved her fingers behind a display. Paper wrappers fell between two corners that meet with a gap. Lisa stuffed the treasures into her pocket.

  I spun to Jarrod, who also stashed something in his pocket. “What are you guys doing?”

  Jarrod looked around as Lisa whispered. “Haven’t you seen anyone shoplift before?”

  “Damn it you two, shut up,” he hissed. “I’m not going to jail for no kindergarten crap.”

  Lisa looked at me. “You can be cool, right?” she asked, turning back to Jarrod. “She can be cool. Go ahead Jes, it’s your turn.”

  “My turn?” I thought of the folded twenty in my wallet, the one Dad always insisted I carry in case of an emergency.

  “Show us how cool you can be.” Her eyes glittered. “Trust me, you’ll love the high.”

  I fingered a pair of earrings, sterling silver hoops I’d probably never wear even if I got my ears pierced. Given the chance Lisa might be right, I slipped the plastic off the rack and ripped both labels. She finished a quick course in shoplifting, telling me how to keep away from the cameras, but not before Jarrod threw his hands in the air and left us standing by the jewelry counter.

  “See you at the car,” he mumbled.

  She eased around a corner and glanced down the next isle. “Let’s split up so we can make sure no one follows us.”

  I shivered. “Follows us?”

  “They do that sometimes. You go to the grocery side and I’ll go to the shoes. Then we’ll meet back on the outside in fifteen minutes.”

  Even though the churning in my stomach was a different kind of sick from the night before, I he
aded for the bathroom. Just as I locked the stall, Lisa’s voice blared.

  “Yeah, she fell for it.” A familiar set of crocs stopped at the sink. “Tosh, your plan is working perfect. Pade won’t think so highly of her now. Why are you asking such a crazy question? Anyone can see he’s hot for you. Who wouldn’t be?” Lisa laughed. “I just wish I could see Jessica’s face when she finds out we left her at Save All.” She paused. “I don’t care if her mom is a teacher. We parked away from the cameras. She’ll be busted and there’s no way she can prove she left school with me. Besides, she’ll be too embarrassed to tell anyone. Hey, gotta go, Jarrod’s waiting for me out front. See you in a few.”

  The door slammed, sending a cold wave through my chest. Even with a vision of running for the checkouts, I knew I’d never catch her. Lisa was gone.

  I reached the front of the store in time to see Lisa climbing into Jarrod’s car through sale-papered windows. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted back in fourth block.

  The shock of being left alone faded alongside hope, only to be replaced by the realization I’d dropped my phone in Jarrod’s car. For the next hour, dreary aisles passed with no plan for escape and no thought of earrings. All I could imagine was what my parents would say, when three hours before I didn’t care.

  In every face, Tosh smirked, savoring my fall into her trap. When I considered being totally alone, shivers spread all the way to my feet. My brain began to construe danger in every smile instead of Tosh.

  Was someone following me?

  Around another corner, I spun as a figure darted into the next aisle. The guy was fast, but not enough to miss the back of his blonde head, and the familiar glasses. Not to mention the new running shoes he showed off at lunch.

  I raced to follow, but the entire aisle of drinks was empty. The main aisle extended the length of the store, with a group of women talking at the center, but no Chase. School had been out for at least an hour, maybe more. With my decision to call Mom, I shook away the weird feeling and headed for the front of the store. One of the last payphones in Credence hung just outside the entrance, but I never made it that far. Two guards stopped me at the door.

  * * * * *

  I sat in one of two chairs in the small security office, head rested on my arms. Cold metal against my skin felt as uninviting as the single door that would soon open. My purse was confiscated and one guard had Mom’s number. Both stood outside.

  After what seemed like hours, Mom came through the door. Moist red puffs hung under both eyes, a sight that made me regret getting into Jarrod’s car all over again.

  “Oh, Jes,” she said, touching my hair, my ears, my face. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  She released me and looked at the guards. “Why is she in here?”

  “We caught your daughter shoplifting.”

  “Shoplifting?” Mom looked confused.

  “The evidence is in her purse.”

  “You’ve seen this evidence?” Her hands were shaking, plastered at her hips.

  “We have her on camera. Her purse was taken, but we haven’t opened it. I thought it best to allow you.” He handed Mom my purse and she turned to the table. She ripped open the zipper and dumped all contents across the dull metal, sifting through makeup and folded notes from Bailey. The only part of my life not on display was a certain pair of earrings.

  “What did she steal?”

  The head guard looked to the other. “You were sure it would be here.”

  “She put the earrings in her purse. I followed her around the store and she never took them out.”

  His boss inspected the makeup and papers. “There are no earrings.” He glanced at Mom. “I’m sorry for the mistake, Mrs. Delaney.”

  Mom extended an arm and replaced the contents of my purse with a wide sweep of the table. “Can we leave now?”

  “Yes ma’am.” He frowned at the younger guard. “I’ll make sure he’s more diligent in the future.”

  Mom grabbed my arm, hauling me out of the office. We crossed the front of the store, through the main doors and into an afternoon of sunshine. Freedom, though Mom still had my arm.

  When we climbed into the van, I thought of the twins. Mom slammed her door and leaned back against the seat, closing her eyes.

  People crossed in front of the van, some running and some caring about nothing more than the voices from their phones. A woman pushed a car-shaped buggy with two laughing toddlers and I envied the innocence of their world.

  “Do you know how I felt when I got the call?”

  I lowered my head. “You were probably mad.”

  “Mad?”

  “And disappointed.”

  “Jessica Ray, you have no idea.”

  I sucked in my breath. She never used my middle name. “I came here with Lisa Johnson after third block in her boyfriend Jarrod’s car. They left me to get in trouble for skipping school.”

  “You came here with Lisa and her boyfriend?”

  “If you ask, I’m sure she’ll tell you the truth. She is one of your students.”

  “Honey…” My stomach sank as she hesitated. “Lisa and her boyfriend got in a wreck after they left the store.”

  My mind whirled like a tornado as I sputtered. “A car wreck?” Thoughts flew to a scene of someone tail ending us on the way home from school, leaving a web of scratches on Mom’s bumper. “Are they okay?”

  “Lisa and Jarrod are dead.”

  * * * * *

  My dreams that night made cartoons of the worst horror movies. Noises of people fighting awakened fears as the lights above dimmed and threatened to disappear. I gripped the arms around me, strong and familiar, as massive feet rose and fell on the rocks below us. Before I could scream, those arms shoved my body into a space and closed a metal door. I tried to unfold my legs, but my head banged against the ceiling.

  Hidden in darkness and alone, I begged for my father’s return. Invisible knuckles cracked and bled from a storm against the door. Smoke filled the air, causing my lungs to burn and tears to well in my eyes when I thought no more tears were possible. Minutes passed, maybe hours in my void of desperation. Finally, I collapsed and gave up on the prayer of hearing his voice again.

  Then, as if in striking distance of a rattlesnake, my body jerked away from a hand grasping to pull me into an open room. The burst of light flooded my eyes. I focused on a shiny object held by a man who glared, pointing the gun at me.

  A shot split my ears and I landed on the floor. As my legs and arms coiled into a fetal position, a cry wedged in my throat. Someone screamed, a woman’s voice, but I couldn’t make out her words. When the echo of the single bullet faded, strong arms again held me safe.

  “Baby, it’s okay. You had a bad dream, that’s all,” the voice said. “Just one horrible nightmare.”

  A careful glance around the room and I realized Mom was holding me back in New York, before the first move. “I saw him die,” I said, wondering if the shaking voice even belonged to me.

  “No, honey. No one died.” Soothing words pushed me to a sound sleep, as she rocked me in the dark. “You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

  When I opened my eyes again, sunshine drifted through my window in Credence.

  Pain in Doses

  I spent the morning after in bed, comforter thrown over my entire body. Numbness brought neither hot nor cold as Mom’s words echoed in my head. ‘Lisa and Jarrod are dead.’ Like a broken record, shivers skipped across my skin as the day replayed.

  At some point, Mom knocked on the door and, after no response, tiptoed through my prison. The bed sagged as she lowered. “Are you going to talk to me?”

  Tears burned. “I’m sorry.” It took every bit of strength to force out those first two words.

  “That’s it?” Mom lay back next to me, with the comforter forming a wall between us. “I called your father and told him what happened.”

  “Is he coming home?” Both dread and hope tugged my heart at the same tim
e.

  “Your dad can’t leave simply because you got in trouble. I know you didn’t want him to go, but he has responsibilities.”

  “Are you sure he isn’t sick again?”

  “Don’t you think we’d tell you the truth?”

  “You didn’t before.”

  “Oh, honey.” Mom reached under the comforter and circled her arm through mine. “I can honestly tell you he’s not sick again.”

  “Then why do you sound like the world’s about to end? I haven’t heard you this upset since his last radiation treatment.”

  “I’m worried about him traveling, but someday you’ll see what his work means to so many people. Tokyo wasn’t just a conference for his job. There’s a study to determine the effectiveness of certain cancer treatments.” She pressed her forehead against mine. “Now tell me about yesterday.”

  “Lisa asked me to skip last block and go to Save All with her and Jarrod. No one ever asks me to hang out like that. I thought it might be exciting.”

  “And people would think you’re cool?”

  “I just didn’t think about what could happen.”

  “You probably didn’t. And your cell phone?”

  “I dropped it in Jarrod’s car, but I didn’t notice until after they left me.”

  “You could’ve called from the store as soon as they left.”

  “I didn’t want to see your face, didn’t want to make the call to Dad. For an hour, I paced the store, before walking to the front. That’s where the guards caught me.”

  “You were really shoplifting?”

  “Lisa dared me to put a pair of earrings in my purse. She and Jarrod took some other stuff.”

  “What happened to the earrings?”

  I closed my eyes, trying to picture the silver hoops, but all I saw was Chase. “When you looked in my purse they were gone. I must have dropped them somehow.”

  “And then they left you.”