by Parker Paige
Many times, Blue Ivy considered apologizing to Camina for her sister’s behavior, but it was too late. Camina was past the point of forgiveness. This was an unsalvageable relationship, and all Blue Ivy could do was accept it for what it was.
Against her better judgment, Blue Ivy kept her lunch date with Camina and Laura. It was just a short walk from where they worked, but seemed endless as Blue Ivy listened to Camina boast about her boss and lover, Bruce Colby. As far as Camina was concerned, she and Bruce were a match made in heaven and naively believed that Bruce would one day leave his wife of fifteen years to be with her.
It was one o’clock when they reached Giordano’s restaurant on Randolph Street. Even after having pre-ordered their food, they still ended up having to wait 30 minutes before their pizza was served. Seated at a table near the window, Blue Ivy sipped on an iced tea while Camina and Laura enjoyed daiquiris. Though Blue Ivy treated herself to many bottles of wine at home, somehow, it felt strange for her to have cocktails in the company of others. It was as if she accustomed herself to drinking alone. Not having much of an appetite, Blue Ivy barely touched the pizza in front of her except for a few nibbles at the sauce and crust. Meanwhile, Camina and Laura chowed down as if the daiquiris elevated their hunger.
Laura reached for the napkin from her lap, gently wiped her mouth, and sipped her water. “Edward and I are going up to Wisconsin this weekend, and I’ve been working so much overtime, I haven’t had a chance to pack a thing.”
“I don’t think I could steal Bruce away from his family for an entire weekend, but we make up for it,” Camina said.
It was as if Blue Ivy was a piece of furniture as she sat there, observing, not saying a word. She was without anything to contribute to their conversation, having no big plans to speak of and no boyfriend to boast about or complain about. Had she made a mistake in coming out with the two of them? Blue Ivy hesitated to say anything negative about Camina’s relationship with her boss because it was sure to arouse uncomfortable emotions in Camina, but after thinking about it, Blue Ivy refused to sit quietly any longer. “You better be careful with him,” Blue Ivy said. “I heard he has a heart condition.”
Camina didn’t even look at Blue Ivy. Instead she chuckled and glanced over at Laura. “Who do you think gave it to him?” Camina asked with a giggle.
Laura and Camina both shared a laugh as if everyone got the joke, but Blue Ivy.
“Really?” Blue Ivy asked.
Laura glanced at Blue Ivy. “She’s just kidding.”
“I gave him a lot of things, but I didn’t give him that,” Camina said.
“Doesn’t it bother you that he’s married?” Blue Ivy asked.
Camina glanced over at Blue Ivy, then Laura.
“It depends on how you waste the time,” Camina said.
Not only did Blue Ivy not understand what Camina meant in her last statement to her, but Blue Ivy also could not help but notice how Camina seemed to make a concentrated effort not to look at her for longer than a second. It was as if Camina wanted to make like Blue Ivy didn’t exist.
Blue Ivy sat erect in her seat, looking uncomfortable. She then finished off her iced tea and asked, “So it doesn’t bother you that he’s married?”
For the first time that afternoon, Camina awarded Blue Ivy a direct stare. “No.”
“Blue Ivy’s right,” Laura said. “There are a lot of single men out there. Why go through the trouble of dating one who’s married? And very married I might add.”
“Who are you kidding?” Camina said with a sluggish smile. “Those are the best ones.” Camina laughed and directed her attention to Laura. “You know how some people say they never date married men. Well, I’m the exact opposite. That’s all I date.”
Camina’s words reminded Blue Ivy of her late sister. How her sister would rebel against the norm, doing everything the opposite of everyone else and taking great pride in it.
It was a welcomed sight for Blue Ivy when the waitress brought over their check. Soon this lunch outing would be over, and Blue Ivy could bury it in her past.
“So, Blue Ivy,” Laura asked as she picked up the check. “Any thoughts on those absurd statements Camina made about married men?”
Camina’s eyes shot to Blue Ivy as if she dared her to say something, anything at all.
Blue Ivy felt the perspiration in her hands. “No.”
A faint smile raced across Camina’s face as she turned away from Blue Ivy.
Laura casually changed the subject and directed her attention to Blue Ivy. “Anything planned this weekend?”
Blue Ivy was about to speak when she saw Camina studying her with her cold eyes. It seemed Camina was waiting for just the right moment to cut her down with the smallest error.
“I don’t have any plans,” Blue Ivy said.
“You have to have something planned. There must be something that you’re going to do,” Laura said.
“I don’t know, I’ll probably watch my Netflix movies and clean my apartment.”
As Blue Ivy finished uttering her mundane plans, perspiration crinkled down her forehead.
“And that’s your weekend?” Camina asked.
Laura jumped in fast. “There’s nothing wrong with that. We all need to spend quiet time at home sometimes.”
“We all need to, but we don’t, that is if we have any kind of life at all.”
Blue Ivy eyeballed Camina, then quickly turned away. Blue Ivy knew that Camina would have something insensitive to say, which is why she hesitated to answer in the first place. Camina seemed to know just how much sarcasm and condescension was required to make Blue Ivy feel alienated and uncomfortable.
Camina moved her drink to the center of the table, scooted closer to Blue Ivy. “Blue Ivy, let me ask you something.”
Blue Ivy could tell by the tone of Camina’s voice and her directness that she would not be prepared to answer.
Episode 3
CAMINA PEERED INTO BLUE IVY’S EYES, seemingly holding her breath and asked, “Have you ever done anything exciting or bad in your life? Or were you always this boring?”
Blue Ivy’s mouth hung open as her eyes moved to Laura, hoping Laura would answer for her.
“Camina!” Laura said, bewildered.
Camina smiled with a matter-of-fact flavor. “What? I just asked a question.”
“Blue Ivy, you don’t have to answer that,” Laura said just before she picked up the check. “We’re getting ready to go.”
Camina rested her hand underneath her chin, seemingly amused. Almost sickened by the sight of Camina, Blue Ivy’s eyes locked in with Camina for a long time, staring at Camina’s painted on eyebrows. Her malicious question had sent Blue Ivy to a place of discomfort that seemed inescapable. As Blue Ivy opened her mouth to speak, she hoped something sharp would come from her lips, but nothing.
How was she going to answer?
Blue Ivy so badly wanted to say something, anything to silence Camina, but she didn’t know what. Finally, Blue Ivy broke the embarrassing stare, turned away and didn’t say a word. Her palms were sweaty as she stared at the cold pizza in front of her. Camina had won this round, because she had left Blue Ivy without a word of retort.
“That was so uncalled for,” Laura said in an elevated tone. “And very mean.”
A frail smile covered Camina’s face. “Did I hurt your feelings, Blue Ivy? I sure hope not.”
Camina’s words were layered with condescension, and Blue Ivy felt doused with ridicule, shame and fear. But she refused to stoop to Camina’s antagonizing level.
Camina plucked her Coach wallet from her purse and placed a $20 bill in the center of the table. “I guess we should go. There’s nothing exciting going on here.” Camina continued. “By now Bruce has probably paged me twice already. He knows that I take an hour for lunch, but every day he thinks I’m only going to be gone for thirty minutes.”
Blue Ivy picked up the $20 bill and handed it to Camina. “I’ll take care of it,” Blue I
vy said. “I’ll put it on my credit card.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Laura said.
“No, it’s okay,” Blue Ivy said.
“If she wants to pay, let her,” Camina said. “I just wish that I had ordered more of everything.”
Laura’s wide eyes peered over at Camina, then Blue Ivy “Are you sure about this?” Laura asked Blue Ivy.
“Yes,” Blue Ivy said. “I’ll take care of it.”
Well aware of how odd her actions appeared to Camina and Laura, Blue Ivy knew what she was doing. She could not and would not let on just how much Camina really offended her and this was her way of demonstrating just that. While Camina and Laura gathered their things to leave, Blue Ivy placed her credit card on the center of’ the table, on top of the check. “I’ll meet you back at the office,” Blue Ivy said. “I’m going to make a quick stop at Starbucks.”
It was not unusual for Blue Ivy to frequent Starbucks on her lunch hour, but that was not the case that afternoon. It was Blue Ivy’s choice not to walk back with them and definitely not to spend any more time in Camina’s presence than necessary.
Camina exited the table and waited for Laura.
“I’ll see you back at the office,” Laura said to Blue Ivy. “And thanks for lunch.”
Blue Ivy waited for Camina and Laura to move through the revolving doors, grateful that lunch was over. It should have come as no surprise that Camina would continue to spit her poison every chance she got. Baffled, Blue Ivy could not understand why it was that Laura never just invited Blue Ivy out alone. For some reason, it always had to be the three of them.
What was that all about?
All the same, this was their last lunch together as a trio and Blue Ivy meant it. If Laura wanted to have lunch with her, then fine. But not Camina, not ever again.
Camina was right.
As much as Blue Ivy hated to admit it, deep in her heart, Camina was right about her never having any fun. Blue Ivy headed back from the restaurant, thinking about everything that transpired over lunch. She saw herself as a boring individual, and she did not like it. Despite her late sister telling her that she would always be wonderful just as she was, Blue Ivy found her sister’s words hard to swallow, especially after what happened over lunch. All the same, she never did anything fun, exciting or different. Her idea of fun was participating in her watercolor class, and that was about as risque as it got.
Camina’s blunt words were still inexcusable. Though Blue Ivy wasn’t the type to hold a grudge against anyone, she considered making a concentrated effort to hold a grudge against Camina, but in the end decided against it. She was a forgiving person. And she was not about to allow Camina to change her or mold her into someone that she wasn’t. The scary thing was it was already happening. She was already holding a grudge against Camina, if only on a subconscious level. Though she always forgave, she also always remembered.
The thought of becoming someone else, a different somebody returned to her fast. The idea excited her, even elevated her spirits. She didn’t know exactly what to do or where to start, but one thing was for certain, change was needed, and it was needed now. Desperately, she needed to move forward with her life, move past her family’s untimely death, and live. Eventually it would come to her and when it did, if only for one day, she would cut up and cut loose.
Back at the office, Blue Ivy stood at the bulletin board in the lunchroom, reading about the upcoming Christmas party when she heard the clatter of high heel shoes coming in her direction. When she turned around, she found Laura standing behind her.
“There you are,” Laura said. “I’ve been looking for you. Did you grab something delicious at Starbucks?”
Blue Ivy caught herself about to lie, but then changed her mind. “I didn’t go to Starbucks.” Blue Ivy paused for thought. “Camina hates me, doesn’t she?”
“She doesn’t hate you. She just has a problem with people that are different from her. It’s an obsession among the very beautiful and the very popular.”
“No. She hates me.”
“Forget about her,” Laura insisted. Laura grasped Blue Ivy’s hand and said, “I don’t hate you. In fact, I like you.”
Blue Ivy’s eyes scrolled down to Laura’s hairy arm, and observed her hand joined with Laura’s. And for a few seconds, Blue Ivy believed that Laura liked her for other reasons. Realizing that she was probably reading more into Laura’s affectionate nature than necessary, she dismissed the thought from her mind. Laura seemed to pick up on certain vibes and abruptly released Blue Ivy’s hand from hers. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay,” Blue Ivy said. “What’s up?”
Enthusiasm glistened from Laura’s immense eyes as her voice escalated to a screech. “I have a friend who wants to meet you.”
“A guy?”
“Of course a guy, who else?”
“Why?”
“I told him about you, and now he wants to meet you and before you say no, let me tell you about him. He’s funny. Very funny. Smart. Very smart. Cute. Very cute. And he’s a gynecologist or something with an ‘ologist.”
Why did Laura suddenly want to set her up? Did Laura feel sorry for her?
“Is this a charity offering because of what happened at lunch today?”
“No, it has nothing to do with that. I know you can find your own dates.”
“I could if I wanted to.
“I know you could. So, are you interested?”
Blue Ivy had not been very popular with men these days, as the only person, in some time, that showed any interest in her at all was Lee. Blue Ivy knew that she would have to at least consider the offer though she didn’t think she would be good company to anyone who didn’t really know her. “I don’t know,” Blue Ivy said.
“Blue Ivy? How long has it been since you’ve been out on a date? I mean a real date. I’m not talking about the time you spend with your friend, Lee.”
“A while.”
“And how long is that?”
“A while.” Blue Ivy paused. “So he wants to meet me?” Blue Ivy questioned. “Take me out?” Blue Ivy just didn’t get it. Why would anyone want to take her out?
“Probably both,” Laura answered.
Blue Ivy didn’t want to answer too quickly and later change her mind. “Can I let you know?”
“Sure. You think about it.”
Moments later, Bruce Colby cordially entered the lunchroom, as if he just stepped from the front page of In Style magazine. Wearing his expensive silver suspenders, he looked like he owned the place, and his confident stride demanded attention.
Blue Ivy studied the handsome creature before her and couldn’t understand how a man with so much going for him―senior partnership, good looks, power and a family, could fool around so openly with his secretary.
“Hello, ladies,” Bruce said as he headed towards the ice machine.
Blue Ivy returned his greeting while Laura looked the other way. Bruce was one of the few attorneys who never valued himself above anyone else, regardless of his position in the firm.
Blue Ivy studied his masculine build and mysteriously Camina’s obsession with Bruce rang a bell that resonated with her. Though Blue Ivy had heard Camina boast about him many times, it never hit her until now. For the first time, Blue Ivy realized the magnitude of Bruce’s princely appearance. It was almost unreal.
Blue Ivy moved her mouth to Laura’s ear and whispered, “Is your friend as cute as Bruce?”
Instead of Laura answering the question, she made a quick dash for the door. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Laura,” Blue Ivy said as she followed behind Laura and quickly caught up to her. “Why do you always do that? Run away every time Bruce enters the room.”
“I don’t always run away.”
“Is that your answer?”‘
“I just don’t like him. That’s all.”
“No kidding.”
“He uses people. Okay? And he gets what he wants more than
he should.”
“What does that mean?” Blue Ivy asked dumbfounded.
“I just want to kill him sometimes.”
That remark definitely seemed exaggerated. “Why?”
“Never mind.”
Before Blue Ivy could utter another word, Laura was gone. Blue Ivy didn’t know when or how, but she resolved to one day discover the source of this feud between Laura and Bruce. Something definitely lurked between them. Blue Ivy just didn’t know what.
Blue Ivy caught a glimpse of her cousin, Stuart, as he came from the men’s room. He had an air about him, a buzzed air that disturbed her, and she couldn’t help but notice. That could mean only one thing: He was on that stuff again, stuff meaning cocaine, once again, despite his promise to stay clean while employed with the firm. Apparently it was true what people said about drug users. Once a drug user, always a drug user. But Blue Ivy didn’t want to be jaded. She liked to believe that people could rehabilitate themselves with the proper motivation. Obviously, Stuart was not properly motivated.
“Stuart,” she said, giving him a glance over. “How’s it going?”
“Couldn’t be better,” he said. Just as he was about to step away, Blue Ivy stepped in front of him and very calmly asked, “You’re not on that stuff again, are you?”
Stuart didn’t hesitate, didn’t blink and didn’t wince. “No.”