by Janice Lynn
Dr. Luiz nodded, but not before giving her a knowing look.
What he thought he knew, Natalie wasn’t sure, but she made her escape before he asked about things she didn’t want to think about, much less discuss.
In a private examination room off the Neonatal Intensive Cardiac Care Unit, Natalie ran the ultrasound wand over the tiny chest of Andrea Smith, studying the monitor as she did so.
“Shh, it’s okay,” the baby’s mother cooed, holding the six-pound baby in her arms. “Is her heart any better?”
Wishing she could offer the new mother affirmation, Natalie continued to run the wand over the baby’s chest and told her, “I’ll go over the results when I’ve finished having a look.”
The mother winced. “Sorry. I’m just so anxious to know how she is.”
Natalie glanced away from the monitor long enough to offer the woman an empathetic smile. “It’s okay. I understand. It’s just better if I finish the test, so I can give you a more complete answer.”
When done, Natalie didn’t have good news. The child would have to have surgery sooner rather than later to repair the aortic arch hypoplasia and left ventricle size deformities the child had been born with. She called the operating room scheduler and set the wheels in motion to take the child to surgery for repair.
Imagine her surprise the following morning when, after scrubbing in, she joined the rest of her surgery team and had an unexpected member with the palest blue eyes she’d ever looked into.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, unable to stop herself. Be professional, Natalie. In front of the surgical crew wasn’t the place to air her animosity.
“Scrubbing in as second.”
“Shouldn’t you have given me a heads-up you’d be taking Dr. Bingham’s place?”
“No better way to learn how things work at Memphis Children’s than to jump right in.”
More than two hours later, while struggling to get the aortic valve leaflets to precisely lie as they should, Natalie became more and more frustrated that she was under Matthew’s watchful eye, blaming him rather than the difficult nature of the surgery.
“May I?” he asked at one point, causing Natalie’s gaze to lift to his astute one.
Seriously? What was she supposed to say? Although Dr. Luiz’s official partial retirement date hadn’t yet arrived, Matthew was her boss.
She watched with reluctant fascination as he made a deeper cut in a modified Ross procedure and then meticulously worked to repair the uncooperative valve leaflets.
When he was done, the flaps fell into place perfectly between each beat.
Ecstatic for her patient and what should be a great surgical outcome, Natalie found her annoyance with Matthew slipping a little over her excitement at what she’d just witnessed.
How could she be annoyed with him when what he’d just done had been nothing short of genius?
If only she hadn’t had sex with him.
When their tiny two-day-old patient was off to Recovery, Natalie was all too aware of Matthew beside her as she left the operating room and slipped off her protective gear.
“Tell me why that worked so well, what it’s called, and if it’s something you’ve been working on for a while or just came up with.”
Stripping off his protective gear, Matthew regarded her. “You know the Ross procedure?”
“What you did was a modified version. I caught that. When you were finished, the valve leaflets fell perfectly.”
“Only because you did a great job with the resection on the ventricle,” he praised, leaning against a long sink used for scrubbing. “Otherwise, what I did wouldn’t have worked.”
“You’ve done this before, then?”
“A few times.”
“Success rate?”
“So far we’re at one hundred percent.”
Natalie’s eyes widened. “Seriously? What are the parameters?”
“I did my first one just over a year ago. About a year and a half ago, now,” he amended. “Currently, she’s had no further need of surgery.”
“Valve is growing with the body? No issues with scar tissue causing stenosis?”
“Thus far, it’s a success, but we won’t know for sure until Kenzie gets older.”
Kenzie. The name clicked.
“I read about her,” Natalie admitted, wishing his work didn’t fascinate her so much, wishing there wasn’t a hint of a smile in his eyes. “You used the Libertine robot during that procedure.”
“Yes.”
“She had other heart issues.” She thought back. “Something to do with her pulmonic valve.”
He seemed surprised. “That’s right. I did a repair of her pulmonic and aortic valves.”
“I read the piece you published on the procedure, but I don’t recall anything about what you just did on my patient.”
“There wasn’t anything in the article about what I just did. The article was about the Libertine, not the specifics of the valve repair. I’ve done that particular procedure a total of five times, including the one I just did. More research needs to be done prior to anything being published.”
“Did you record Kenzie’s surgery?”
His lips curved into a smile. “You want to watch my private stash?”
Natalie did.
But she didn’t.
But she really, really did. If she was going to have to put up with him being in Memphis, being at her hospital, she should have some perks, right?
“Would you let me?”
He didn’t hesitate, just held her gaze. “I would.”
“Because you want to further the knowledge of your staff?” Why she pushed, she wouldn’t delve deeply to label, just that she wanted his clarification.
“Because you asked,” he corrected, his gaze locked with hers. “Although, you’re right. Part of my position is to further my staff’s knowledge. The hospital is great, otherwise I wouldn’t have considered the move. But I hope to bring positive changes. Dr. Luiz suggested I discuss those with you as he thought some of our ideas overlapped, and you could be key in the implementation process.”
He was completely sincere, and Natalie found herself being sucked into the idea of working with someone who’d been operating on the cutting edge his entire career. He’d been at a hospital with the resources to make history, not follow in its footsteps. He wanted to bring that to her hospital.
“If we hadn’t met in Miami and you hadn’t stolen my dream job, I might like working with you,” she admitted, somewhat reluctantly.
He studied her a moment, then asked, “Do you expect me to say I’m sorry, Natalie? I won’t.” He had that dark and dangerous look about him that had her glancing away. “I’m not.”
For Miami or taking her dream job? Or both? Natalie wondered. Either way, her adrenaline rush from the successful procedure and watching his innovative surgical technique was wearing her down, leaving her restless and needing to get away.
“Are you going to the retirement party for Dr. Luiz?” he asked.
The party was almost two weeks away, sponsored by the hospital, and a big deal.
“What kind of question is that?” The man had been her mentor since residency. “Of course I’m going. Just because he sold me out to the board in favor of you doesn’t mean I’d bail on his retirement party.”
Matthew’s expression tightened. “Is that really how you see what he did?”
Natalie closed her eyes, took a deep breath. “He did what was right for the cardiology department, for the hospital, and for Memphis. I don’t fault him for that.”
“Sure you do.”
He was right. She did.
“I understand why he did what he did.” She did understand why the board preferred Matthew. “What I don’t understand is why you left an amazing hospital and research facility to
come here.”
A weary look crossed his face so briefly that Natalie wasn’t sure she hadn’t imagined it. Maybe she had, because he just shrugged and said, “I like a challenge.”
“Ha. Getting this hospital anywhere close to what you left is going to be a challenge. An impossible one, because we don’t have the funding you’re used to.”
He studied her a moment, then shrugged again. “Sometimes challenges can be a good thing.”
* * *
“You should bring a date,” Monica encouraged as Suzie nodded her agreement, and Natalie wished her friends would find a new topic of conversation.
Every time she saw them all they wanted to discuss was Matthew. When was the last time she saw him? What did he say? What did he do? It was getting old.
“Make him jealous.”
Natalie rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to make him jealous. I want...”
She wasn’t sure what she wanted. Honestly, she understood the hospital hiring Matthew. He was brilliant. The man had been improving pediatric cardiac outcomes for over a decade and the entire hospital was ecstatic to have him join them.
If only Natalie could feel that same joy.
On a personal level, she knew it would have been better never to see him again.
On a professional level, he’d taken the job she wanted.
She resented that he’d invaded her life and turned everything topsy-turvy. Yet she couldn’t stop thinking about him, even now as she gave all she had to the elliptical machine. Monica was to her right, Suzie to the left. All three of them had worked up a sweat.
“What is it you want, Natalie?” Suzie insisted when Natalie didn’t finish her comment.
To forget Miami and her career goals so she could join the ranks of her coworkers, ecstatic that someone of Matthew’s caliber had joined their team.
Wasn’t going to happen, but it would help if she could.
Looking at him did wacky things to her insides. Like throw her heart rhythm and make her lungs forget how to diffuse oxygen. As much as she’d like to blame Miami, how her body reacted to Matthew was instinctive rather than a Pavlovian response.
Although memories of Matthew’s kisses, his touch, his... No, no, no. She sped up the movement of her legs as fast she could go, faster, faster, faster. Forget Miami.
Obviously he had. Not once had he made one untoward move around her. Other than their first few encounters at the hospital, he’d been professional and, if anything, a bit aloof, as if he didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings of his intentions.
“In case you’ve forgotten,” she huffed out as she struggled to maintain her crazy pace, “I haven’t been on a date since Jonathan and I broke things off. Not counting Miami—and Miami doesn’t count.”
“Speaking of the ex, did you hear that the bimbo he was messing around with is wearing an engagement ring?”
Monica’s question curled Natalie’s nose. “Better her than me. I don’t want the man or the ring.”
Monica smiled. “I’m so glad you’re over him.”
Sadly, she was over him before it was over. She’d cared about him, but she’d never needed him. Or craved him. Or thought about him all the time.
“What are you going to do about Matthew?”
Ignoring the sweat running down her brow, Natalie kept moving, pushing harder and harder against the elliptical. “Absolutely nothing. He was supposed to be just a pleasant memory, but I didn’t get that lucky.”
“Some would say him showing back up in your life makes you lucky,” Suzie pointed out.
“Yeah, well, I’m not a girl who wants to be face to face with a man she thought she was only spending a weekend with.”
“Maybe you need to rethink that.”
“Rethink what?”
“Just spending that one weekend with him. Monica and I are going to dress you up for Friday night’s party and you should go for it.”
“For old times’ sake,” Suzie added.
“Uh-uh. Getting involved with Matthew, my boss, is the last thing I need to do.”
“Why?”
“Shall I count the reasons?” At her friends’ expectant looks, Natalie continued. “One, he took my dream job.” Her friends didn’t seem impressed at the gravity of just how devastated she was. “Two, he’s my boss.” Again, her friends didn’t seem to understand what that implied. “Three, he has a kid.”
“I’m not seeing a problem,” Suzie said.
“The last thing I’d want is to get involved with a man who has kids.”
“What’s the deal with this kid, anyway? He never mentioned her in Miami?”
“No, and I don’t know.”
“You should ask him.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you want to know.”
“You mean you want to know,” Natalie corrected, cycling as fast as she could on the elliptical.
“Protest all you want, Natalie, but this guy gets to you.”
“Not in a good way.”
Both her friends had the audacity to laugh.
CHAPTER EIGHT
NATALIE STARED AT the quiet little girl playing on a tablet computer in Matthew’s office.
His daughter? Had to be.
Natalie wanted to turn and run, because she didn’t want to be confronted with the child. She wasn’t sure of all the reasons why, just that a self-defensive part of her warned to run. But the girl looked up from her game and met Natalie’s gaze with big brown eyes, stopping any unnoticed retreat.
Although she was beautiful, Natalie couldn’t help but think it was a shame the girl hadn’t inherited Matthew’s unusual pale blue eye color or his dark features. Still, with her sagging ponytail, dimpled cheeks and big eyes, the girl was undeniably adorable.
“Hi! Uncle Matthew isn’t here.”
Uncle Matthew? Why had the girl called him “Uncle”, and what was Matthew doing leaving the girl unattended in his office? Natalie knew next to nothing about parenting, but she knew enough to know that one didn’t leave a small child by herself.
“He’s in an important meeting. Stephanie,” the name came out with a cute hesitation of each syllable as the girl made sure she said the name correctly, “is watching me.”
Only Stephanie was nowhere to be seen.
“Where is Stephanie?”
“The bathroom. She wasn’t feeling good and keeps going to the bathroom.” The child wrinkled her nose. “She has diarrhea.” Again, she put emphasis on each syllable to make sure she properly enunciated.
“Poor Stephanie,” Natalie commiserated, not sure whether to walk away or to stay. The kid was too young to be by herself. “I’m Natalie. What’s your name?”
Why did this conversation feel so weird? She was a pediatric heart surgeon. She dealt with children on an almost daily basis. Why were her palms clammy?
“Carrie. I’m four. Do you want to see my game?”
No, Natalie didn’t. She wanted far, far away from the evidence of Matthew’s deceit—but the hopeful look on the child’s face left her unable to do anything more than cross to where the little girl sat. She stooped down.
“What kind of game is it?”
“A fashion game.” Carrie’s eyes lit up as if it was the most fabulous game ever. “See all the pretty clothes?”
Natalie had never been a girly girl and fashion wasn’t her forte, but she nodded her agreement as she studied each item the child clicked on.
Big brown eyes regarded her. “Which one is your favorite?”
“They’re all great,” she assured, studying the colored images. “Which makes it difficult to choose, but I like the blue dress best.”
She nodded as if she’d expected Natalie to say as much. “That’s Uncle Matthew’s favorite, too. It’s the color of his eyes and makes me th
ink of a robin’s egg.”
There went the “Uncle Matthew” again. And there went Natalie’s cheeks, bursting into flames. “That’s not why I liked it best.”
“It’s the mermaid tail, isn’t it?” Carrie said with a knowing tone.
“The what?”
The little girl pointed at the screen. “The skirt. It’s why you like that dress? My mommy’s wedding dress had a mermaid tail. It’s my favorite, too. I like clothes, especially mermaid tails.”
Her mommy’s wedding dress. Matthew had been married to the girl’s mother once upon a time. Where was she now?
“Um, yes. The mermaid tail.” Thinking her conversation with the child was getting more and more awkward, she stared at the computer screen. What she really wanted to do was get out of Dodge, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave the girl alone, so she resolved to stick around until Stephanie got back from the bathroom. Still, a subject change was overdue. “How does your game work? You design the clothes and then fill in the colors?”
Carrie happily demonstrated how to select and manipulate an item on the screen with a stylus pen. “You want to try?”
“I’d rather watch you. I’m not much on clothes or fashion.”
The girl studied her scrubs then nodded. “I can tell. Pretty boring.”
In spite of how awkward she felt, Natalie laughed. “We should send a memo to my new boss to up the appeal of our hospital wardrobe, eh? Maybe add some mermaid tail scrubs.”
Natalie’s boss thought her appeal was just fine as was. More than fine. Of course, Matthew wasn’t thinking of her hospital wardrobe, just the woman. Not that he should be allowing himself to think of her as anything except a fellow neonatal heart surgeon and colleague.
Why did he keep struggling with that? Of course, he knew. Miami. How was he supposed to relegate her to a mere coworker when he knew just how hot her fire burned?
When he’d finished with his meeting and returned to his office to collect Carrie, he’d expected to find the nursing assistant with her. Running the little girl to his mother’s place on his day off for the hour or less the meeting would take seemed unnecessary, but yet again it seemed he’d made a bad parenting judgment call, because Stephanie was nowhere to be seen.