by C. Gold
“Not true. I never tortured anyone. If I needed information, I’d line up a few prisoners, begin with the least important and ask them questions. If they refused to answer I killed them. It only took one or two deaths before the others became very forthcoming.”
She stared at him in wide-eyed horror. “And you don’t see how evil that is?”
“I’ve seen true evil.” His eyes unfocused as he once again saw the Spider caressing his body and the sound of lust in his voice as he inflicted pain. Radcliff shuddered in revulsion. “True evil is taking enjoyment in the suffering of others. You fit that description well. I’ve never taken pleasure in what I did. But I believe in the emperor’s vision and did what was necessary to make it happen.” At least he had believed in the emperor. Pain knifed him in the heart again at the unexpected betrayal. He would have done anything for his emperor…
Thirteen-year-old Radcliff was brought before the emperor. “He was caught red handed with his hand on the knife sticking out of Master Rounald’s body,” the guard to his left reported.
“Boy. What do you have to say for yourself?” The emperor looked sternly down at the boy from his raised dais.
“’Twas self-defense m’lord.”
“Excellency,” the guard on the right whispered to correct Radcliff.
“Sorry, was self-defense Excellency.”
The emperor’s lips twitched upwards. “And how do we know it was as you say self-defense without any witnesses?”
Radcliff stared stony eyed at the emperor. He didn’t want to reveal his many failures, but he wanted to live more than his desire to salvage his already wounded pride. He jerked free from the guards’ loose hold on his arms and lifted his threadbare shirt over his head wincing at the pain. He turned around and showed them the deep puncture wound. “Master came back angry and drunk. He did this and woulda done again but I stabbed him first.”
The emperor took one look at the roadmap of scars on the young boy’s body and dismissed the guards. “You are fully pardoned and will become Master Candlass’ apprentice.” He looked at his seneschal. “Make it happen.”
Back then, a grateful Radcliff would have done anything his savior asked of him without asking questions. Now, a betrayed Radcliff had many questions to ask the man he had once thought of as a father.
“You’re wrong,” the woman said. “I don’t enjoy the suffering of others.”
Her words pulled Radcliff out of his own dark thoughts. “No? You seemed to enjoy mine.”
She sighed. “You killed my family. Of course I wanted you to suffer.”
“For over a thousand years?”
The woman looked away. They both remained silent after that. Finally, an hour before sunrise, Radcliff asked the one question he needed to ask but dreaded the answer to. “Why did you save me?” Her tense body slumped with a hiss of exhaled breath. The silence stretched on and Radcliff thought she’d avoid the question but then she spoke in a subdued whisper.
“Before your trial, I had a vision. In it, I saw the world grow dark one kingdom at a time like something was eating away all life. You stood there, a shining beacon of light, a shield of hope against the darkness. Then the council executed you and the darkness won. I knew then, despite my desire for your death, that I had to save you.” She grimaced. “I demanded punishment and won’t deny I savored it. But it was necessary to save more lives,” she threw his own justification back at him.
He stoically absorbed her revelation while trying to ignore the internal voices which scoffed at him being able to save anyone. “And how did I save the world exactly?” he asked with more calm than he possessed.
“I don’t know,” she replied with great weariness like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. “You never answered my question. Are you a master summoner?”
Radcliff debated the wisdom of revealing the truth to her. Summoners could bring forth small objects. A master was capable of handling bigger objects. And what he could do… well, he never revealed that to anyone, not even his emperor. Some abilities were too easily abused. Like how you burned an entire city? The errant thought popped into his mind. Even the emperor didn’t know how he’d accomplished that feat. Still, she was bound to figure a few things out since even when he turned mindless, he would be capable of doing more than a simple summoner once he regained his full strength.
He nodded.
Her tired eyes filled with hope. “Can you summon us to another place?”
Radcliff looked around and was struck by how ridiculous this entire situation was. Here he was, the most powerful wizard, slated to lose his memory tomorrow and stuck in a cave. No, cave was a misnomer. This place was a rough split in the rock face. He grinned. “Why would you ever want to leave such wonderful accommodations?” His arms swept around the tiny space like he was showcasing an exotic location. Then, for the first time in over a thousand years, he laughed. For a moment he was just Radcliff. Not the wizard, not the beaten child, nor the tortured prisoner. And he was free.
When he’d had his laugh, Radcliff pondered how much he should reveal to this woman—his enemy and a stranger who was serving him for a reason he still didn’t believe. He decided on the barest truth. “I can only summon small and medium sized objects.” True right now given his current state. While he was far better off than before the ritual, he was still a shadow of his former self and it would take days to return to full strength now that the Spider was no longer siphoning his magic.
Watching the hope fade in the woman’s eyes made Radcliff uncomfortable. Did she suspect he could do more or just wished he could? Should he have told her more? Why was he worrying about this?
Before he could stop himself he touched her arm to get her attention. “Hey.”
What are you doing? His internal voice screamed.
“Don’t give up hope. Heal my memory and I will be able to help.” There. Supportive without revealing his secrets.
“Help how?” she asked, curiosity and hope stirring once more.
“I’ll tell you when my memory is restored.” He winked and gave her a mischievous grin that he thought was long forgotten. Teasing her was nearly as good as laughing and it made what was coming more bearable. He wondered how his mindless self would handle being with her. For that matter, he wondered how she’d handle him. I’ll know one year from now. He sighed as once again his depression tried to chime in. “Here, you better keep this,” he told her while holding out the dagger in its plain sheath. It wouldn’t do for him to kill himself as long as the woman held some hope for his freedom.
“Are you sure you don’t want to keep it?” the woman asked.
“I’m sure.” She looked doubtful but Radcliff wasn’t in the mood to explain. “You’ll see for yourself tomorrow.” The last of his smile slipped away when he thought of her seeing him like that. The anxiety. The depression. And there was nothing he could do about it. “I’m going to go to sleep. I suggest you do the same.”
Turning away, he settled on the bedroll. He only hoped he’d be asleep before the transition. Only once did he stay awake on his first remembrance, thinking the trigger was sleep. He remembered seeing the first rays of light touch the sky when the hole opened in his mind. The spell amplified his sense of helplessness as bit by bit it tore his memories out of his desperate grasp. No, he would never made that mistake again willingly, but today he was cutting it a bit too close. Fortunately, the restoration ritual wore Radcliff out sufficiently so that he was able to drift away just in time.
CHAPTER 3
The Relative Calm
Amira stared at the slumbering wizard in stunned silence. What just happened? One minute they were fighting like she expected, the next he cracked a joke? And laughed? His gaunt face had softened with his smile and for a moment she pictured him as an innocent youth. But that silky laugh… well, it was better if she didn’t think about that. He was still the enemy. Repeating that over and over like a mantra, Amira struggled to conjure up the snarling face again. Bes
t to remember who she was dealing with. But how would that change when he woke? Although he tried to shrug it off, Amira could tell the wizard was bothered and that had her worried.
Clearly sleep wasn’t coming any time soon. Tapping her fingers against the closed journal, Amira couldn’t help but wonder what the wizard wrote to himself. Perhaps reading that could provide insight into what she would be dealing with. Guilt pricked her conscience, but she easily tossed it aside—he was the enemy after all and she needed to be prepared. With that flimsy excuse paving the way, she opened it to the first page.
Your name is Radcliff Durnhast. The woman you are traveling with is a seer who claims you will save the world. No, I’m not joking. I wouldn’t trust her if I were you. Actually, I am you when you have your memory. Right now you suffer from a spell that removes all knowledge you ever had except for that gnawing awareness that you have lost something tremendously important to you and a sucking vortex of hopelessness that constantly attacks when you least expect it. That’s the obliviate spell punishing you for doing your job during the war. Don’t worry, you still have your magic even if you have forgotten how to use it. This journal contains only those spells I deem you capable of learning in the limited time you have. For once the sun rises, you will forget everything and have to start all over again. Sorry, but that’s your life unless the woman with you figures out how to fix things.
Best of luck,
-RD
Amira’s skin pebbled, and she hugged herself as she tried to absorb what she just read. The message wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be and she wasn’t the slightest bit surprised he didn’t trust her. If she were in his position, she wouldn’t trust easily either. Still, the part about gnawing awareness and hopelessness made her uneasy. What do I really know about the obliviate spell? I guess I’ll find out soon enough. She flipped the page.
Healing
You were never any good at this, but here is a basic repair spell even you can learn.
The spell was written in a language she didn’t know and filled out the rest of the page. Interesting that he’d know how to read it given his memory loss.
Light and Heat
Normally you’d cheat and use your natural summoning gift to create light and generate heat but here are two basic spells you may find handy.
More words in that same unknown language filled two pages this time. She skipped those and found the next header.
Summoning
Your natural gift is summoning. If you can think of the object, you can find it in the world and call it into your presence. It’s best to start with your eyes closed. Clear your mind, then picture the item in your mind. Rotate it and add texture and shading until it becomes real. Adding distinct smells can sometimes help. Now, send your awareness out and find its location. You may need to alter your image to better match what is available. Once the item is found, your awareness will snap to it. All you need to do now is reach out with your mind and tug the object to you. The first time is always the hardest so try with something close at hand. Only summon the objects in this journal, otherwise you might overextend your magic and die. And trust me, you don’t want to do that even if you are sorely tempted.
Several pages followed with beautifully detailed drawings of objects at the top and descriptions below. Items from a storeroom were listed—clothes, blankets, and a bucket, including an explanation of how to fill it with water that ran on for a few pages. Bread and cheese from a kitchen. A vial from a laboratory… now that was unexpected. The note said the contents were used to melt stone and not to be spilled on flesh unless you didn’t want it anymore. The description of its location was so specific, the wizard must have placed it there. But why would he need something like that? Amira shuddered and quickly turned the page. Various swords, axes, and other weapons along with basic armor were also included. All the notes for these suggested finding them in a large structure to the far south. She gasped when she realized he was stealing from the emperor’s keep. Amira couldn’t help but admire the man for the audacity.
She skipped through the rest, noting that at least half the book was nothing but blank pages. Yawning, she decided sleep sounded good after all. Closing the book, she carefully set it aside and crawled next to the wizard. Maybe he wouldn’t be so useless after all. That was her last thought before slipping into oblivion.
Amira stirred but was reluctant to start the day. Instead, she snuggled against the warm body next to her and the arm around her waist.
“Morning beautiful.”
The masculine voice jolted her fully awake, and she opened her eyes, only to find herself drowning in twin orbs of storm cloud gray. She tried to push away but his arm tightened, holding her in place.
“No morning kiss, love?”
He looked hurt at her rejection and Amira froze, completely at a loss for how to handle this situation. “Um…” Smooth Amira, real smooth.
He grinned with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and pulled her down before she could protest. Soft, warm lips pressed against hers and a surge of warmth cascaded through her body. When was the last time a man kissed her? Far too long. Warnings shot off in the back of her mind even as she surrendered and kissed him back. The world ceased to exist, at least until a particular firmness nudged her and that distant yelling finally cut through the fog. He’s the enemy!
This time she was able to break off the kiss. “No,” she warned when he tried to reengage. At his stunned look she asked him, “What is my name?”
He frowned and got this sheepish look on his face. “You’d think I’d remember a beautiful woman’s name.”
Hating the necessity of her next question she softened her tone before asking, “And what is your name?”
The frown deepened and the sheepish look turned to panic and confusion. “I don’t know,” he whispered.
He didn’t protest this time when Amira pulled away and reached for the journal. “Here,” she said and held it out to him. “This will help explain things. Read the first page.”
Radcliff sat up before taking the journal. As he read the message, his eyes changed from stormy to sullen to flat. Then he slammed it shut.
Amira jumped at the sound. The wizard said nothing but a muscle in his jaw was pulsing and she could feel the agitation sweeping out from him in waves. What could she say? Sorry wouldn’t cut it when she wasn’t truly sorry. Telling him it will be ok would be a flat out lie since she wasn’t sure. The silence grew into a weighty thing until Amira’s stomach churned with discomfort. Why was this so hard? She leapt to her feet. The need to escape was overwhelming. “I’m going to check on the storm.” She hoped he wouldn’t follow as she pushed her way through the horses and sought the exit and an end to her turmoil.
Radcliff… he sounded out each syllable in his mind and let loose a frustrated sigh as he watched the woman’s hasty retreat. The morning had started off so well, especially with that sizzling kiss. ‘I wouldn’t trust her if I was you.’ Why not RD? What aren’t you telling me? He still wanted her despite all the questions rattling around in his empty mind. Not happening Radcliff, not the way she cut you off and then fled. Though what did she expect would happen waking up in his arms like that? He might have no memory but he was still a man. A man who will forget everything tomorrow and have to start all over again. Only to repeat that again and again until who knows how long. He hissed as the realization struck a vicious blow—he could never have a relationship, friend or otherwise. There was no hope. No reason to live.
“Hey, you ok?”
A light touch on his arm jolted Radcliff back from the dark vortex that had sucked him in. ‘I want to die’ still kept repeating over and over in his mind. He tried to shut it down, but it grew louder. His breath came out in shallow, rapid pants, and though he was sweating, his skin was icy cold.
“Put your head between your knees and try to take deeper breaths.”
The voice came from a distant tunnel, but Radcliff loosened his white knuckled grip
on the book, set it aside, and did what she said. As he struggled to breathe, a light touch on his back, hesitant at first, began a slow circling motion. Gradually the tightness in his chest relaxed and the voice in his mind grew weaker until it finally fell silent. What was wrong with him? That wasn’t normal or natural. Was this what RD meant about punishment? He was poised on the brink of battle against an unknown foe that could strike without warning and take him out in one hit. Who knew if he’d snap out of it a second time? Sudden chills spread through his body.
“Better?”
No! Radcliff wanted to scream. Instead he nodded. Technically it was not a lie since he was better than during his fit.
The woman snatched her hand back and jumped away as if stung. What was her problem? He felt an odd sense of loss and hurt as he watched her stalk away.
Hahaha second rejection for you.
What?
You should kill yourself and save us all the trouble.
Be silent!
Radcliff took several deep breaths before he could relax again. Oh gods RD, you didn’t say anything about voices. He looked down and saw his hands were shaking. He squeezed them into tight fists. It was time for some answers. “Who are you and why are we traveling together? And what are we doing here?” And why shouldn’t I trust you?
The woman rolled up the blankets before finally speaking. “I checked outside, and the storm has long since passed. There are still some larger ice chunks on the ground but they are melting so we should get going.” She twisted the rope around the bedrolls and tied them off with a strong jerk before attaching them to the saddles with more force than was needed.
Her deflection angered Radcliff, but he kept his voice level and tried again. “What is your name?”
She jerked the last tie. “What does it matter, you’ll just forget again.”
Radcliff leapt to his feet in fiery anger. “What have I done to you to deserve such hate?”
“You slaughtered my family and thousands of innocents,” she fired back with equal venom.