by Sharon Booth
Jed could. But he could also imagine the pain that Beth had been enduring about not having children — the pain that she'd just glossed over as if only James's feelings mattered. He was right. She couldn't be more different to JoJo if she tried. All she'd had to deal with … God, and he thought he'd had it tough!
'Are you okay?' She was looking at him, quite concerned. Her face was wet with tears, but her eyes showed anxiety now as she surveyed him. He realised he had tears running down his own cheeks and blinked, embarrassed. She seemed to have forgotten all about her own misery as she hesitantly wiped his face with her hand and stared at him with huge dark eyes, so full of conflict and pain and worry that it ripped him apart.
'Aw, Beth, how can you even ask me that? After everything ...' His voice trailed off as his gaze devoured her, absorbing every detail in her beautiful face, until he couldn't help but lean towards her and press his lips to hers. It was only meant to be a way of expressing how sorry he was for everything she'd been through, when words had failed to do that. In the event, it turned out to be a way of expressing everything that had been building in him over the last few weeks, growing stronger and more certain each time he laid eyes on her.
He wouldn't have been in the least surprised if she'd pushed him away, yelled at him, told him in no uncertain terms what a louse he really was. But she didn't. And somehow, her kiss expressed everything he'd hoped and dreamed she would feel but hadn't dared believe could be true.
After some time, when a million words had been exchanged in total silence, they pulled apart and stared at each other. It was as if they'd communicated a lifetime to one another in the space of a minute or two.
'What do we do now?' she whispered, not sounding in the slightest bit sorry or regretful.
The truth was, he had no idea. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined falling in love with someone again, after everything that had happened. And Beth wasn't just someone. She was a married woman, with all the complications that entailed. He knew he should call a halt, walk away. He was way out of his depth, and only heartache could possibly lie ahead. Yet he knew, looking at her, that he couldn't do it. Where had all these feelings come from? How had this quiet, reserved Englishwoman penetrated through all that pain and grief?
'Jed?'
He cupped her face, gazing softly into her eyes. 'I don't know, honey,' he admitted. 'I've never felt this way before, and I never expected —'
She covered his hand with hers. 'I don't regret it,' she told him fiercely.
He pulled her to him and kissed her again. Maybe, in time, they would both come to regret it, but right now it felt right, and if there was going to be a price to pay, he would pay it. Willingly.
Chapter Seventeen
The Paradise Hotel was busier than Emerald had ever seen it, though that wasn't saying much. The ground floor was almost entirely given over to the wedding fayre, with the wedding service room, the function room, and the conference suite given over to stalls and demonstrations. Eliot, looking ridiculously sexy in a leather jacket and jeans, was trying hard to look excited, but he wasn't fooling Emerald. It was a bit sad to see. He shouldn't have to go through all this. She'd never met anyone as hunky as him, and such a gorgeous man didn't deserve this amount of stress. It was all that phoney Eden Robinson's fault.
Eden was clearly more interested than she'd expected to be. Her eyes lit up when she saw the rails and rails of wedding gowns, and she turned to Eliot with obvious excitement. 'Look at all those gorgeous dresses! We must find the gentlemen's outfitters for you.'
Eliot made a huge attempt at a smile, though his tired eyes and the dark shadows beneath them betrayed his exhaustion. 'Aye, they look right grand. Why don't you go over and find one you like and I'll have a wander round.'
'Are you okay?' Eden's excitement seemed to fizzle out. 'Maybe this was a bad idea. I told you, you could have used the time while Mickey and Adey are covering to have some sleep. You didn't need to come.'
'It's my wedding, too,' he said. 'I'm all right, any road. Lambs come every year. I'm used to it, so stop fretting.'
'If you're sure.' Eden sounded doubtful. 'You need to find a suit. Do you want me to help you choose?'
'I'll do that,' Emerald said immediately. 'You go and look at the wedding dresses, and I'll help Eliot find something suitable.'
'You help Eden,' came a familiar voice behind her, 'and I'll see to Eliot.'
Emerald groaned inwardly and turned, expecting to be faced with her kohl-rimmed, mullet-headed, leggings-wearing freak show of a father. Standing there instead was a smartly dressed man, makeup free, wearing dark trousers and a plain light cotton shirt, with short, cropped, greying hair and an alarming lack of jewellery.
Emerald was so astonished that she quite forgot she hated Eden as the two exchanged bewildered glances.
'Bloody hell,' Eliot murmured. 'Is that really you, Cain?'
The new, improved Cain shuffled, a little uncomfortably. 'What do you think?' he muttered. 'Do I meet with your approval?'
Emerald was so delighted at the change in him that she wanted to hug him, and was about to tell him how marvellous he looked when he turned to Eden and said, 'What do you think, darls?'
Emerald's stomach plummeted. As Eden assured Cain that he looked fantastic, and complimented him on his change of image, Emerald could only stand there, her hatred for the pair of them growing with every word.
Eventually, her father remembered she was there and said, 'Well? Got anything to say to me?'
Emerald scowled. 'Not bad,' she said. 'You're looking vaguely human, so that's something. Are you sure you wouldn't rather help Eden pick out her wedding dress?'
Cain's eyebrows knitted together. 'That's women's stuff, and thanks for the glowing compliments, Emerald. Proper chuffed you like the new look so much. Bleeding hell. Don't know why I bother.'
It was on the tip of her tongue to say that she knew the feeling. 'What are you doing here, anyway? Are you staying at The Paradise?'
'Yeah, obviously. I wasn't aware all this palaver was going on or I'd have thought twice, but then again, when I saw you it seemed like fate. Providence, you might say. Good job I'm on hand to keep an eye on things, eh?'
Emerald gave him one of her looks. 'You don't need to keep an eye on things. We had a deal, remember?' She hoped he wasn't about to back out now. She was going to get that retreat if it killed her — or him.
'Chill your beans, kid. I ain't gunna cramp your style. Just taking a friendly interest. Anyway, I'm only here for a couple of days so let's not argue. I thought I'd pop up here and see how you were all getting on, that's all.' He turned to Eden. 'Has Jed been pulling his weight? Not been skiving or nuffink?'
'Oh no, he's been great,' Eden assured him. 'He's been a godsend, to be honest. I don't think I could have managed without him.'
'That's what I like to hear,' Cain said, sounding satisfied, which was more, Emerald thought, than Eliot looked. He seemed irritated that Eden was singing Jed's praises. Hmm. A hint of jealousy there perhaps? Did he not trust his precious Eden? Interesting.
She turned to her father. 'Well, I suppose you're right. You may as well make yourself useful and choose the style of suit Eliot's going to wear. Don't order anything, though, unless it co-ordinates with the colours on my mood board first.'
'Your what?'
'Mood board,' Eden muttered. 'She's already picked our colour scheme, and everything has to work around that, apparently.'
'Heard it all now,' Cain murmured. 'What colour are you having then?'
'Pink,' Eden said dully.
Eliot pulled a face. 'Aye. Me in pink. Imagine it.'
'Don't say it like that! With your dark hair you're going to look divine with a pink cravat. Trust me on this, I have some wonderful ideas for your wedding,' Emerald assured them. 'Now, come on, Eden, let's see if we can find you the perfect dress.'
'And don't be worrying about the cost,' Cain reminded them. 'Just pick the one you like, no looking at the
price tag.'
Emerald gritted her teeth and steered Eden away before she said something she'd regret.
'I wonder what's brought his change of image on?' Eden mused, glancing back over her shoulder as Cain and Eliot headed towards the nearest gentlemen's outfitters. 'Doesn't he look different? I can't believe it.'
'I'd like to know what he's doing back here already,' Emerald muttered. In actual fact, she was pretty certain that it was because he didn't trust her, which annoyed her no end. She was doing her best to organise the perfect wedding. The wedding Cain had demanded, in fact. She would get her retreat.
For the next half hour, Emerald tried hard to look enthusiastic as Eden rummaged through dozens of rails of countless wedding dresses, and flicked through catalogues and watched tall, willowy models parade in front of them, demonstrating how beautiful you could look if you too were six feet tall and weighed about six stone.
Emerald thought it was criminal, and there should at least be some attempt to cater for the shorter, fatter bride. Eden wasn't exactly plump, but she was never going to look like those women. Emerald sighed. This was so dull. All she really wanted to do was help Eliot choose his suit. She wondered if he'd tried on any yet. She'd bet he looked handsome, whichever one he chose. She craned her neck, glancing around the room in the hope of seeing him, but no such luck. He'd probably gone into the adjoining room. Bugger.
Eventually, Eden found a couple of dresses she liked and took the contact details of the suppliers. Needless to say, neither was from The Wedding Dress Shop. It would mean a trip to Ripon but that wasn't too bad, and Eden planned to take Ophelia and Liberty, so they could choose bridesmaid dresses and accessories at the same time.
'Now that's done, shall we go and find Eliot?'
Let the poor man breathe, thought Emerald sulkily. 'Sure. Why not?'
Emerald was hoping for a glimpse of the farmer in a morning suit and cravat, but, as so often in life, she was to be disappointed. When they finally spotted Cain and Eliot, they were standing in a small crowd gathered around a table, where a man in a faded suit was demonstrating a card trick.
'A magician? Are you serious?' Eden giggled as Eliot rolled his eyes.
'He's proper clever, this bloke,' Cain assured her. 'Worth considering. Keep the kiddies amused, at any rate.'
'We don't need a magician at our wedding,' Eden insisted. 'I don't even like magicians.'
The man, who was in the middle of his next trick, glared at her. Emerald smirked as Eden blushed and turned away, saying, 'I think we should look at something else. Something we need. Did you find a decent suit?'
She brushed imaginary fluff from Eliot's shoulder. Claiming ownership thought Emerald bitterly. It was textbook behaviour. Maybe Eden felt threatened? Hmm. Emerald cheered up a bit at the thought.
'Aye. We're going into town in a couple of weeks to get fitted.' He sounded thrilled. Not.
'Who's we?' Emerald said suspiciously.
'Me, Cain, Mickey, Jed and Adey,' he said.
'Who on earth is Adey?'
Eliot frowned. 'Lad who helps out on the farm when he can. You've met him.'
Emerald considered the matter. 'I have? Oh yes, I think I know who you mean. Why are you getting him a suit?'
'Because he's going to be an usher, like Jed is, apparently.'
Emerald felt indignant for him. Clearly, that had been Cain's suggestion. Eliot barely knew Jed. On the other hand, it would be lovely to have her brother involved.
'So, who's your best man?' Surely not her father? Even if he had finally had a haircut and a change of image, there had to be someone better than that available.
'Mickey.'
Emerald tried not to look appalled. Mickey! The old shepherd was positively ancient. He didn't seem to have a tooth left in his head. He would look dismal in the wedding photographs. She forced a smile. 'How lovely. Favours!'
'Huh?' Cain pulled a face. 'What bleeding favours do you want now? Don't you think I've done enough?'
'Not that sort of favour,' she assured him. 'Wedding favours.'
Cain and Eliot exchanged bewildered glances as Eden shook her head. 'We don't need those either. It's all silly, pointless extras. All we need is something to wear, rings and a cake to cut.'
'Don't be stupid!' Cain and Emerald chorused their disapproval and then stared at each other, clearly horrified that they'd agreed on something.
'This is a proper wedding,' Cain decided, 'and you'll get what every bride should get.'
'Yes, Eden,' Emerald purred. 'There's nothing I want more than to give you what you deserve.'
Eden, it seemed, wasn't as stupid as she looked. She gave Emerald a filthy look. Emerald decided to change the subject.
'So, Dad, what's with the change of image?' She looked Cain up and down, realising that, although he was now dressed like a middle-aged man for a change, he suddenly looked an awful lot younger. A bleached mullet and a face full of makeup had aged him. She wrinkled her nose as a thought suddenly occurred to her. 'Has this got anything to do with Honey?'
'Honey? As if! That's you, with your obsession,' he said, tutting. 'Look, I thought it was time I started to look a bit more — well —'
'Your age?' Emerald suggested helpfully.
He growled. 'A bit more sophisticated, shall we say. I mean, let's face it, I mix with the cream of British society these days, and I can hardly collect my knighthood from the palace in me leopard skin leggings, can I?'
'Heaven forbid,' she agreed. 'Thank goodness that doesn't seem likely.'
'Still in good form, I see,' he said. 'Well, you might be interested to know that Honey and Teddy are back from their honeymoon.'
'I should hope they are,' she said. 'I was beginning to think they'd be celebrating their first anniversary over there.'
'Be fair.' Cain looked around at Eden and Eliot, as if pleading for backup. 'They've bin proper busy these last few months, what with the charity and the wedding to organise.'
'As if All the Goss didn't organise most of it,' Emerald snapped. 'But of course, poor little Honey. Deserves a two-month honeymoon in Africa, if only to rest that enormous head of hers. Must be quite wearing her out, carrying that huge ego around with her every day.'
'Oh, for goodness sake,' Eden said, linking her arm through Eliot's as if she was determined to annoy Emerald, 'drop it.' She smiled at Cain. 'Has she been to see you? How are they? Did they enjoy the honeymoon?'
He grinned. 'Got on like a house on fire. Had a fab time. Course,' he added, sounding less pleased, 'they're living with Rex for now, which is a flaming shame. But they're looking for a house and when they find something decent they'll be setting up their own little home.'
'Why don't you build them something in your garden?' Emerald said, hoping they hadn't all noticed the wobble in her voice. 'Then you'll never have to be parted from her again.'
Cain scowled. 'Good idea. I might suggest that. By the way, Eden, Honey sends her apologies but she's going to have to decline your invite to the wedding. She's gunna be at some fancy humanitarian awards do with Rex and Teddy in LA that week. She's ever so sorry.'
'Not sorry enough to skip the do, though,' Emerald pointed out.
As Cain glared at her, Eden hastily told him that it didn't matter, and she quite understood. 'How did the recording go?' she said, changing the subject. 'Did you enjoy yourself with Sun King? What are they like?'
Cain's demeanour changed immediately. His back stiffened, and his face took on a tight, tense expression. 'Great. We had a smashing time. Nice bunch of lads.'
'That's not what I've heard,' Emerald said. 'From what I know about them, they're a bunch of pretentious twerps without an original thought in their heads.'
'And how would you know?' Cain demanded.
'I have friends who have friends,' she said mysteriously. He didn't need to know that it was Jed who'd confided in her. Her brother, it seemed, knew everyone, whereas she knew no one. Let her father chew on that puzzle.
'You amaz
e me,' Cain said. 'You having friends. Who'd have thought it?'
'These favours,' Eden said. 'Can we just not bother?'
'But everyone has favours,' Emerald said. She turned to Eliot. 'What do you think?'
'If that's what folks generally have, then that's what we'll have,' he said, after a moment's hesitation. 'I draw the line at the magician, though.'
'Quite. Extremely tacky in my opinion, unless you've got someone classy like Dynamo.' Emerald peered up at him. 'Do you want me to try to get Dynamo?'
'No, I bloody don't,' he said firmly. 'Even if he was up for it, which I doubt, he'd cost a fortune.'
'Besides,' Cain added, 'everyone would be so busy watching him they wouldn't be looking at Eden, and we don't want that. All eyes should be on the bride.'
Emerald scowled, wondering if she could sneak Dynamo in, after all.
'Where are we at with this wedding, anyway?' Cain had stopped at a cake stall and was already helping himself to several free samples. 'What you got done so far?'
Emerald tutted. She knew he was here to check up on her! 'The church is booked and I'm viewing several function rooms this week.' She ignored the groan from Eden. They'd had quite heated arguments about the wedding reception. Eden was adamant she wanted something small and informal and Emerald had reminded her that she was in charge of the wedding, something Eden herself had agreed with Cain, and that Eden should trust her, upon which Eden had pulled a scornful face that had made Emerald want to slap her.
She had a few places in mind and whatever Eden wanted, it was really Cain that Emerald was trying to please. He knew exactly the sort of wedding he wanted them to have, and she was going to deliver. It was, after all, her father that held the power to grant her health retreat wish, not Eden, or even Eliot. They would have to lump it. 'I've shortlisted the photographers, and the cars, and Eliot and Eden are going into town soon to get their rings ordered.' Emerald made a mental note to draw up a list of photographers and car hire firms, hoping her father wouldn't demand details before she got the chance to do so. Well, she'd been busy creating her mood board and making plans. Making firm booking things had been way down the list of priorities. 'Eliot's sorting the menswear, Eden and I are going to Ripon to choose the dresses and —'